Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Four: Trying to Understand

I looked across the table at the stoic figure in front of me. We hadn't said anything since our mishap in the bathroom. After the glass had stopped falling to the floor, Jasper scooped me up in his arms and carried me out of the room so I wouldn't get cut. I had excused myself to my room to change out of my pajamas while Jasper began cleaning up the bathroom.

It was an hour later, and we still hadn't said anything. Normally, I would bask in the comfort of not needing to speak; however, I was more than uncomfortable right now. I didn't understand what had just happened. I had lost my temper before and never caused anything to break that was near me. I thought this only happened in movies. The same movies where vampires existed.

I pulled my jean-clad legs up tightly against my chest as I stayed sitting on the wooden chair that made up one-fifth of my father's kitchen set. As if I didn't have enough going on in my head right now, I was now worrying about my newfound power.

"Bella, would you please try to relax?" Jasper asked, exasperated. "You're anxiousness is making me nauseous."

"I'm sorry, Jazz. I just don't know what's happening here. I've never done anything like that before, and it really freaked me out." I leaned back against the kitchen chair and ran my fingers through my hair in a frustrated gesture. I looked up when I heard Jasper stifle a laugh.

"Sorry, Bella, but you look so cute when you're frazzled," he said as he reached over and ruffled my hair. "It'll be okay. If you'd like, I could call Carlisle and Alice in as reinforcements. Maybe they would be able to help figure out what's going on with you."

"I don't think I'm ready yet, Jasper, but thank you. I can't face everyone yet, knowing that I never really mattered and that I was never supposed to be a permanent fixture in your lives. It would hurt too much," I explained. I dropped my eyes to my kitchen floor, the pattern of the tiling suddenly becoming more bearable than the scrutiny in Jasper Hale's gaze.

"Stop it," he said with fierceness behind his voice that I had only heard one other time. When James had been hunting me. "You should never feel that way. You are more important to all of us than anyone has been in so long. Our family doesn't make sense without you, Bella. I know that it's hard to see past all the pain right now, but everything will sort itself out in time. It has to."

"Can't you just please let me wallow in self-loathing for awhile, Jasper? If I stop, then I have to really look at this for what it is. Edward not having enough faith in our love to stay with me. Not having enough belief that I can make my own decisions when it involves my safety and who I want to spend my time with." I was getting more and more frustrated as I spoke.

I stood from my chair and began pacing the short length of the kitchen. "He treats me like a child! Just because he's lived for ninety years longer than me doesn't mean that I'm not able to make my own decisions and protect myself! I'm eighteen years old. Technically I'm older than him anyway! I have every right to do what I want and be with who I choose!" Tears were spilling freely from my eyes now and I was becoming dizzy with all the circles I was walking.

I felt the same building up of emotions in my body as I had earlier in the bathroom and Jasper stood quickly and took hold of my upper arms. He stopped my walking and stared into my eyes, trying to calm me down. I was finally able to catch my breath and allowed Jasper's manipulation of my feelings.

"How—how did you know what was going to happen?" I asked him.

"I could feel the same thing in you that I had felt earlier when the bathroom mirror broke," Jasper explained as he ushered me back to the kitchen table and made me take a seat. "Thankfully I was able to counteract your own emotions before anything could get broken again."

"Why is this happening now?" I asked, suddenly serious. I looked up at Jasper and felt comfort when he crouched down to my level.

"I don't know. Maybe how strongly you feel right now has woken something up in you or there was some sort of reaction after James bit you that hadn't surfaced yet. I can only guess at this, Bella. I don't have the answer."

"Radioactive spiders," I whispered so low that a normal person wouldn't have been able to hear me. Jasper did and I knew that he understood when I saw the sad smile cross his face. I reached forward and pulled his hard body into mine, hugging him closely to me.

Jasper was surprised by my quick action but did not pull away from me. Instead, he wrapped his strong arms around my waist and held me. Without his help, I began to feel more at ease than I had in over twenty four hours. Having Jasper stay behind with me was a comfort that I was thankful for.

We were both so wrapped up in each other that neither of us heard the door open and someone walk inside.