He got up and sighed.

Light filtered through the room through the curtains casting dim light across the floor and walls. It was a familiar glow, though not quite angelic as it might have seemed. It was actually eerie.

He remembered his talk with Inoue…his breakdown. That was so unlike him…and he felt his face go slightly red with the memories. If Renji found out he wouldn't hear the end of it.

The lieutenant had returned to Soul Society, and had kept up the facade that Ichigo had passed away along with the strange hollow that had attacked the small town. He felt kind of lonely…because he wasn't supposed to exist.

He shrugged.

What was he supposed to do? Suddenly turn up and say he was back from the dead? He shook his head. No.

He slid open the door in Urahara's shop, slightly stumbling out into the hallway. Bright light flooded the area, and he squinted against the harshness. After an uncomfortable adjustment he went on about a usual routine.

Get up, have breakfast, go outside, kill a hollow or two, etc.

His days weren't eventful but it was enough to keep him occupied for a few hours. Occasionally in his trances of concentration, a pang of sadness would stab him in the heart. A painful reminder of those he had forgotten and left behind…it always stared him in the face. Places they spent together…it was everywhere. His past. His seemingly fake life.

He returned the plates and cups to the sink, and changed into his shihakusho. Zangetsu was hung over his back, but the familiar weight had now disappeared. His rolled his numb shoulders, an old habit…to see if there was any feeling left.

He concentrated the energy in his feet as he stepped onto the pavement outside the store and disappeared in a flash. Shunpo. The name rang in his ears, his training with Yoruichi…old discarded memories.

He sped through the small town where he grew up, wind whipping his face and stinging his eyes. He passed his house and Ishida's hospital. His school, his friends' houses. And then he arrived at the river where his mother was killed. He intentionally avoided this place…but he needed to think. Alone.

His orange hair blew in the cold breeze. What is there to think about…? Nothing…I guess, since nothing has happened. Just blankness…

A warm tear slid its way down his face, and fell onto the cold and hard pavement. He was used to it now…the pain that kissed him so frequently. The pain that held him in a tight embrace…not wanting to let go. He didn't flinch anymore when the sobs wracked his body. He didn't feel embarrassed anymore, he just couldn't feel it.

What have I left?

~Seireitei~

She sat on the edge of the bed, tears glistening in her eyes. She still couldn't believe it…the man she loved…the man who made her smile again. He was gone…forever. She kept expecting him to walk right in the front door like nothing happened. Days upon days she waited, wanting to believe that he was alright. She remembered…the days under her brother's cherry trees. When he told her he loved her. Where everything started…then the war began. Aizen was defeated and it was considered a victory. It had appeared killing the traitor hadn't been enough…and Ichigo had been hurt. And now…he was gone, after all he had been through. And all he is putting her through. She told him she wouldn't forgive him if he died. And she won't…he doesn't deserve it.

A/N sorry for the 'long time no update deal' at least a long time for me XD came back from vacation and guess what I had in my way :( A WRITERS BLOCK! AGHHH so sorry if this wasn't really the greatest in the world but its showing that I'm still here and working ^_^ Enjoy and please please review I need to know what you all think XD