Chapter XXVI

Silent as a shadow, Tauriel made her way through the deserted corridors leading to Kíli's room, eager to avoid running into someone, even though she knew that it was very unlikely to meet anyone at this time of night. Everybody was either asleep or—more likely—passed out from too much wine and beer.

Until she had met Dís on the balcony earlier that night, she had not realized how much in need of female companionship she had been. True, most of her life had been spent amongst males and this had never bothered her—quite the contrary, actually. Only recently, with all this new emotional turmoil in her life, had this begun to change. And of course Nimwen's faithful presence at her side for so many days had played a big role in this development, had caused her to become used to always having a kind companion to talk to, someone to find comfort in.

The unexpected source of much needed comfort that Dís had turned out to be was hence the reason why the night was already beginning to fade outside as she slipped into Kíli's room. The first thing she noticed was that it was stifling hot in there—the fire that usually burnt down at some point during the night had not been extinguished.

In the dim light cast by the flames, Tauriel could see Kíli lying on his back at the bottom of his mattress, his feet dangling onto the floor. He was still fully dressed. Smiling slightly, Tauriel wondered whether he had passed out like this and stepped closer to make sure that he was alright. As she leaned over him, she realized that he was apparently only half asleep, because his eyes immediately shot open and he struggled to sit up. She, too, straightened up to allow him some room to move.

"Tauriel," he mumbled groggily, his face flushed and his hair sticking to his damp forehead. No wonder with all that heat in the room. "I thought you'd gone."

"Gone?" she asked in surprise. "I'm right here." Looking down at him, she reached out and cupped his face in her palm, noticing that his skin felt feverishly warm. She smiled when his eyelids drooped slightly. "Are you even really awake?"

He responded by wrapping his arms around her waist, burying his face against her stomach. "I don't know. Am I?" he muttered. And then, with heartbreaking despair in his voice, "I couldn't find you. I thought you went away again."

Stunned by his words and the way he said them, she did not reply for a moment. Then she realized that he must really have thought that she had left him and just imagining that caused tears to well up in her eyes. Dís had been right, he was much more perceptive of what was bothering her than she had been giving him credit for and all that she would achieve by not telling him the whole truth would be to hurt him. As she had just now, apparently.

Hugging him close she whispered, "I would never leave you. Do you hear me? Never. It's just… it's just…" Her voice faltered. How could she explain?

"Shh," he silenced her. "I know. I know."

She wanted to protest, wanted to tell him that he needed to listen to her, let her explain, but something in his voice stopped her from doing so. Maybe he really did know.

She let out a small gasp when his hands wandered below her midnight blue dress, drawing her impossibly closer. Suddenly overcome by the need to be with him without anything separating them, she tugged at the lacing of her dress in order to be able to pull it down over her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. She made quick work of his clothing as well, exposing his upper body. Lowering herself onto his lap, she clutched at his shoulders as he kissed her deeply, his warm hands tracing fiery patterns on her skin, which was still cool from spending so much time outside in the freezing air.

Falling back onto the mattress, they let actions say what words could not in those early morning hours of a cold winter's day, the heat of Kíli's touch making Tauriel come alight inside, chasing away the darkness that had been threatening to overwhelm her once again during those last hours.

When Kíli awoke, it was only to squeeze his eyes shut again immediately, the bright light in the room causing an excruciating pain to erupt in his head. Someone had forgotten to draw the curtains closed last night, and now the white sun of winter was streaming in through the windows. He guessed from the angle of the sun that it had to be around midday, but despite that he could still feel the lingering effects of the way too many drinks he'd had the night before.

He turned onto his stomach and slowly stretched, running his hand across the mattress. He smiled when his fingertips brushed against soft, bare skin. He carefully cracked one eye open and saw Tauriel lying beside him. Suddenly a memory overcame him, a memory in which he had been completely devastated. He frowned, trying to recollect the events of the night before.

Slowly, some fragments began to come back to him—he remembered looking for Tauriel, extremely worried, but in vain. Then there were slivers of a very emotional exchange, right here, in this room. And a very heated encounter beneath the sheets that made color rise to his face even now.

Cautiously opening his eyes once more, he gazed at the beautiful she-elf lying next to him, deeply asleep. He smiled as he studied her features, completely relaxed for once.

As his mind gradually cleared, he gave a small start and lifted his head from his pillow to look at Tauriel more closely. Yes, it seemed that she truly was deeply asleep. That realization made him grin for a moment, but then he immediately felt a sense of worry tug at his insides. Never since he had woken her up back in Thranduil's halls had he seen her properly asleep. And had she not told him that she did not really require any sleep? Those thoughts caused a tight knot of fear to form inside his stomach and he sat up, leaning over to gently shake her.

"Tauriel? Can you hear me?"

He half expected her not to react at all, as she had done when he tried to wake her up in Mirkwood. So he was quite surprised when she moaned in protest and threw one arm across her face, shielding her eyes from the bright light.

Once he felt assured that she was conscious, Kíli scooted closer and chuckled at her slightly disheveled state. "Hello, sleepyhead. Did someone have a little too much wine last night?"

Glowering at him from underneath her arm, she huffed. "I should be asking you that same question," she returned, making him blush a little.

He let his head fall back onto his pillow, since staying in an upright position was making him dizzy anyways. "Things did get a little out of hand last night, I suppose." He glanced at her with some. amount of trepidation. "I hope I didn't do something terribly embarrassing?"

She grinned at him, enjoying his discomfort for a few seconds before she replied. "No, don't fret. You did nothing wrong." Rolling onto her back she gazed at the ceiling. "It seems as if this life is making me lazy. I cannot remember sleeping so deeply for a very long time… except for—well, you know."

He reached out with his hand and stroked her cheek, his expression growing quite serious. "There is no need to worry about our life here," he said. "We will be leaving soon."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "What are you talking about?"

Until that moment, he had not really known he was going to say this, but now that he had, he knew that he was doing the right thing. "I am saying that our time here at Erebor is coming to an end. There is no point in staying where we are not accepted."

Tauriel stared at him, her expression one of both pain and guilt.

"Please don't look at me like that," he said tenderly. "I don't know exactly what Thorin said to you, and I will not make you tell me unless you want to. But what I know is that I will not stay anywhere where you are made to feel unwanted. I promised you that this would not be permanent and I will stay true to this promise."

"But—"

He silenced her with his fingertips against her lips. "No, don't fight me one that. I know you don't want to tear me away from my family. But I have made that decision once before and I will do so again. And at least this time I have the opportunity to part in peace with them and maybe figure out a way how and when we can still see each other from time to time."

She pressed a soft kiss to his fingers, silently accepting his choice. "But where will we go? And what will we do? I'm not so sure if your uncle will simply let you walk away in peace… at least not if it's me you're going with."

She looked so utterly dejected when she said this that Kíli felt fresh anger well up inside of him, but he swallowed it down and drew her close instead, hugging her lithe body to his. "I sort of have a plan for that," he muttered into her hair. When she drew back and looked at him questioningly, he elaborated. "Since we got rid of the Arkenstone, Thorin has adopted a more reasonable attitude with regard to our relations with other peoples." When she raised her eyebrows in slight disbelief, he sighed. "I know that this may sound hard to believe right now. However, I really do think he is quite keen to set up trading relationships with populations all over Middle Earth. To get Erebor out of its current state of isolation."

"And?" she asked, urging him to continue.

"Well, I thought we could suggest to become his envoys. You know, travel around, talk to people. After all, what's a better proof that the dwarves of Erebor are willing to share some of their wealth with the rest of Middle Earth than a dwarf and an elf travelling together?" He smiled and gave a small shrug. It was more of an idea than an actual plan, but right now it was all he had to offer. "What do you think?"

Tauriel rolled onto her back and gazed up at the ceiling, lost in thought. "I'd like that," she said after a while, causing a happy grin to spread on his face. She looked at him. "It sounds as if you have been thinking about this for a while."

He reached out to her once more, twirling a lock of auburn hair around his forefinger. "I suppose I have."

"You should have told me," she chastised. "If I had known your mind was still set on leaving… well, I might not have worried as much as I did."

He frowned. "I'm sorry, love. You're right, I should have talked to you about this. Seems as if we need to work a little on being completely open with each other. Both of us." He looked pointedly at her.

She sighed, but smiled. "True. But trust me, you don't really want to know what was said between me and your uncle. And I, too, would prefer not to have to repeat his exact words."

He pressed his lips together, silently cursing Thorin for having made her hurt like this. As if she was reading his thoughts, she turned towards him again and took his hand in hers. "Whatever you do," she said insistently, "promise me to try and go about it with a calm mind. Don't do anything you might regret later."

Kíli gaped at her. "How do you manage to remain so calm when you have been treated with such injustice?"

She exhaled, slowly. "I don't know. I think… I think I really do believe that Thorin only acts out of his love for you. I cannot hate him for that. Not really."

Kíli drew her close and pressed a kiss to her forehead, marveling at her capacity for forgiveness. "I love you," he said out of the blue.

She looked up at him and smiled brightly, the slight rift that had been forming between them due to misunderstandings and adverse external circumstances entirely forgotten. He pressed a long kiss to her lips, relieved that now there was nothing that stood between them anymore. When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers. "I will try to carry some of your kindness with me when I go and speak to Thorin. But I also need to be very firm in this matter—I cannot leave room for him to think that he can simply go behind my back and make decisions for me, no matter if his intentions are good or bad. So I can't really predict how that conversation will go."

She nodded. "I understand. I wish there was something that I could do..."

He shook his head. "I think this is something I need to do on my own. I suspect he already knows that something is up anyways, so I might as well get it over with."

"You will do it today?" She sounded surprised.

He shrugged. "I do not really see that there is any point in waiting. The sooner we start making plans the better, right?"

She smiled and he imagined that in her mind she was already picturing the two of them on their own again, the way they had been before their past had caught up with them so suddenly. And that was what he was seeing, too.

"Yes," she replied to his question, but then bit her lip. "But I think after we've waited for so long, a few more hours can't hurt, can they?" she asked, scooting closer to him beneath the covers.

He inhaled sharply when she pressed herself against him, her skin on his. "No," he mumbled, his gaze drifting down to her lips. "No, I suppose it can't."

He grabbed a fistful of the sheet they were both covered with and, with a jerk of his arm, threw it over both of them, burying them beneath it, blocking out the world for a little longer. His heart sang as she giggled and he swept down on her, kissing every inch of her porcelain skin until her giggles turned into happy sighs.

It was late in the afternoon when Kíli finally emerged from his room, a happy grin on his face that not even the prospect of an impending confrontation with Thorin could entirely erase. His first impulse was to head towards his uncle's private quarters, but then he remembered that as of today Thorin would be most likely to be found in the throne room.

Walking through the corridors, greeting several dwarves he was acquainted with in the process, he tried to sort through his thoughts, in order for his conversation with Throin to go smoothly. He knew that Tauriel was right—Thorin had only acted out of concern for him and that was the only thing that made him refrain from trying to seek revenge for his uncle's actions in favor of finding a peaceful solution to all of this. That and the fact that he knew that if he were to part on bad terms with Thorin, it would be much harder to work out possibilities how he could still keep his brother, his mother and some of the others in his life—their life—after his and Tauriel's departure.

As he approached the throne room, he had to concede that he was more nervous than he cared to admit, his stomach doing some sickening somersaults. Not so long ago he would not have dared to stand up to his uncle like that, would have grudgingly accepted the decisions he made for him. But now this was different. Aside from himself, he had someone else to think about and it did not matter that he was secretly terrified by the prospect of what might occur inside that room.

The guards positioned at each side of the entrance to the great hall let him pass without further ado—he was a bloody prince, after all. Crossing the considerable distance to the throne, Kíli was relieved to see that only Balin was with Thorin at the moment.

As he drew closer, Thorin looked up, and Kíli could see a mixture of surprise and apprehension play across his features. Thorin leaned down and whispered something to Balin, who nodded and turned around to leave, smiling hesitantly at Kíli as he passed him, the tensions between the two of them forgiven but not quite forgotten.

Thorin followed Balin with his eyes, only speaking once he had reached the end of the hall.

"Kíli," he said. "I did not expect to see you today."

Kíli inclined his head, trying to keep his features under control. Now that he stood before Thorin, the urge to punch him was suddenly much stronger than before, when he had laid out in his mind how this confrontation was to go. He looked up once he felt assured that his face was void of any expression. "I have something that I need to discuss with you."

"Ah," Thorin said, "that is quite fitting, because there are some matters that I wanted to go over with you as well."

Briefly, Kíli wondered whether his uncle was trying to buy some time because he already sensed what was coming. But he would not have that, not this time.

"What I have to say is sort of urgent," he said. "And private. Do you think we could discuss this somewhere else?" Kíli felt that a different spatial situation, one in which he was not standing before the throne, looking up at his uncle, might considerably improve their chances of having a reasonable conversation.

Thorin's face fell a little, but he nodded. "Of course. Follow me." Rising from his throne, he made to move into the direction of one of the smaller chambers adjacent to the throne room, but was interrupted by one of the guards stepping through the gate at the other end of the room.

Both Kíli and Thorin whipped their heads around in surprise.

The guard cleared his throat. "The Elves of Mirkwood request an audience, my king."

Kíli felt all blood drain from his face. This was not good. This was not good at all.

He jumped when Thorin clasped a hand onto his shoulder firmly. "Kíli, are you listening to me?"

Kíli shook off his momentary stupor and looked at his uncle, who leaned down to him. "Kíli, go fetch Balin and Fíli and bring them down here right away. I have a feeling that I might need their assistance with this." When Kíli nodded, but did not move, he added, "Go. Now!"

Walking as fast as he could without actually running, Kíli hurried down the great hall, eager to get out of there before the elves actually arrived. But it was too late, they were already being led into the throne room by one of Thorin's guards. Trying to keep his head down while simultaneously scanning the small party consisting of only a few elves, he noted with immense relief that Thranduil did not appear to be among them. Legolas, however, was.

He tried his best to keep a straight face and looked on ahead as if none of this concerned him, but when he passed the Elven party he could not avoid catching Legolas' gaze. The blonde elf's eyes widened with both surprise and horror when he recognized him.

Kíli could feel his heart hammer as if it was about to simply jump out of his throat as he approached the exit, his insides twisted with anxiety. He had known, of course, that remaining in such close proximity to Thranduil's realm was not exactly wise given the manner of Tauriel's departure from Mirkwood. He had also known that should Thranduil become aware of her still being—somewhat—within his reach, this might mean serious trouble for the both of them. But so far, he had always reassured himself by thinking that this was his home after all. They were safe here; Thranduil's influence did not extend into the kingdom below the mountain. If he had thought differently, he would never have stayed for as long as they had.

However, given the most recent developments with Thorin, Kíli suddenly realized that maybe they were not as safe at Erebor as he had let himself believe. That maybe, if Thorin's mind was really set on separating him and Tauriel, he would not shy away from measures that might put her in great danger. And the look on Legolas' face just now had confirmed that such danger was still very real and that not even the Elven prince himself might be able to protect her if worse came to worst.

Panic and fear almost paralyzed Kíli upon that realization. Once outside the throne room, his first instinct was to head to his own room, to warn Tauriel of the imminent danger, gather their belongings and get as far away from Erebor as they could. But then, taking a couple of deep breaths to compose himself, he tried to focus on what course of action was the most reasonable right now.

Out of the few options that presented itself to him, getting Fíli, whom he trusted with his—and Tauriel's—life, would be the wisest. It was Fíli who held the most influence with Thorin right now. He might be the only one able to prevent Thorin from disclosing to the Elves that Tauriel, who had betrayed their king, had found refuge within this very city. Yes. Kíli needed to find his brother, and he needed to do it fast.

So he headed out in search of his brother, fully aware that every step he took from now on, every small choice he made, might decide his fate, his happiness. And Tauriel's, for that matter.