Chapter XXVII

"Kíli, slow down and tell me what exactly is going on."

Kíli whirled around and looked at his brother, half mad with panic. "I already told you. There's a party of Mirkwood Elves in there with Thorin and Balin, right now. I need you to go in there and make sure that Thorin does not do something terrible, like telling them that one of their own is hiding out here, in this very kingdom."

Grabbing Fíli by his upper arm, he made to drag him further down the corridor into the direction of the throne room.

But Fíli would not budge and held his younger brother back, forcing him to turn back around. "Kíli, calm down. Thorin would not do such a thing, no matter how stubborn he is about this whole thing with you and Tauriel."

Kíli stepped closer, his fingers clutching Fíli's shoulder. "Maybe he won't, no, but I simply cannot afford to trust that he doesn't. There is too much at stake here, don't you understand?" Fíli looked down, frowning. "And it's not like Thorin has not done things we would not have expected him to do before, hasn't he? Things that hurt people he is supposed to love?"

"Alright, yes, I get it," Fíli said, thrusting up his hand in defeat. "However, I am not sure whether I can do anything to help."

"He trusts you, Fíli," Kíli implored. "You're his right hand now. As you should be. So please, try." He swallowed. "I'm scared," he added, thinking about Tauriel at the other end of the mountain, completely unaware of the danger that had just arisen.

Fíli sighs but nodded, briefly covering Kíli's hand his shoulder with his own. "I'll do my best. Let's go."

Together, they hurried to the throne room where Kíli stopped and stood back for Fíli to pass. "You are not coming inside?" Fíli asked.

Kíli shook his head. "No. Even if Thorin did want me in there, it would be too great a risk. I have no way of knowing if one of the elves present might connect me to Tauriel and her disappearance."

Fíli nodded and, taking a deep breath, disappeared through the doors, leaving his younger brother behind. As the doors swung shut behind Fíli, Kíli felt slightly forlorn and at a loss at what to do now. Should he wait here to see what the outcome of this visit from the elves would be? Or should he go and speak to Tauriel now, warn her about those most recent, worrying developments?

He had just decided to go to Tauriel, unwilling to keep her in the dark any longer, and had put a couple of feet between him and the throne room, when the door opened a crack and Legolas stepped through, quickly shutting the door behind him. Searching the wide corridor with his eyes, he hurried over to Kíli when he spotted him and pulled him off to the side, into the shadow of a massive stone pillar.

"I do not have long," he whispered, looking around himself as if he expected to be caught any moment. "What on earth are you doing here? Where is Tauriel?"

Kíli bit his lip. "She is here, too. We came a while ago after we heard that my uncle had fallen so terribly ill and, well…" When Legolas stared at him with narrowed eyes, he sighed. "Look, I know now that this was probably not the best idea. But we made the decision together and I cannot go back and change that."

"Didn't you tell me yourself that returning to Erebor was out of the question? That you had fallen out with your uncle?"

Kíli shook his head. "That ceased to matter—I had to come. We thought he was dying. And anyway… it turns out that he was not quite himself during the time before I left with you. He knows that he acted wrongly on many instances."

Legolas frowned and looked at the closed doors of the throne room. "Yes, I thought he seemed more reasonable than the last time I spoke with him." He transferred his gaze back to Kíli. "But if that is true, then why do I see so much fear in your eyes right now? What is it that you are afraid of?"

Kíli sighed. "As it turns out, Thorin's newfound reason has its limits." When Legolas raised his eyebrows questioningly, he added, "I thought he was going to accept what is between me an Tauriel eventually. But he has recently given me reason to think that this might never happen."

Legolas grimaced. "You fear that he might expose Tauriel to separate her from you."

Kíli did not answer, but let his head hang low, feeling like an idiot in front of Legolas. After all, the elf-prince had taken some great risks upon himself to help him and Tauriel to escape together, and now here they were, putting everything they had achieved at danger by being too trusting, too naïve.

The blond elf straightened up and crossed his arms. "There is nothing that I could do to stop some of the elves in there from relating anything that your uncle might tell them to my father. And if he knew that she is here…"

"Do you think he would…?" Kíli broke off and swallowed, unable to say the words.

"Try to kill her?" Legolas continued for him. "No, he would not take the life of one of his own. But there are some things in life that are worse than death." He shuddered. "Especially if said life is eternal."

Kíli had to hold on to the stone pillar next to him for support, Legolas' words feeling like a blow delivered to his chest. The elf glanced down at him. "But let us not worry about this until we really have to. Go to Tauriel and tell her what is happening, but please do not do anything rash. Make sure that she does not show herself while we are still here."

Kíli nodded grimly. "How long are you going to stay?" he asked. And then, on second thought, "Why are you even here?"

"Before your uncle fell ill, he made my father an offer, setting up conditions under which he would return the white gems my father is so obsessed with. We are here to renegotiate those conditions—they were a little… exorbitant. How long this will take, depends on how willing Thorin is to discuss this with us." Legolas looked over his shoulder at the doors of the throne room. "I need to get back inside. Ever since Tauriel so mysteriously escaped from right under his nose, my father keeps me under close observation. He has no proof that I was involved, but that does not mean that he is not still suspicious. And he has his eyes everywhere."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kíli said, feeling genuinely guilty.

Legolas sighed. "This, too, shall pass eventually." A small grin tugged at his lips. "Nimwen and I had to take some slightly more drastic measures, but there is really no way how my father could ever find out what actually transpired that day."

Kíli smiled tentatively. Then he bit the inside of his cheek, unsure if he really wanted to speak the words that were on his mind. "Do you… do you want to come and see Tauriel? I'm sure she would be happy to see you."

Legolas hesitated and Kíli watched a myriad of emotions wash across his usually stoic face—longing, sadness, regret—but then the elf-prince shook his head. "No. It would be too great a risk. I really need to go back inside now. Tell her…" he paused, frowning. "Tell her she still has my friendship. Unconditionally."

Kíli inclined his head in acknowledgement, trying to suppress the slight feeling of jealousy that would always stir inside his chest where Tauriel and Legolas were concerned. Even after everything that had happened.

Legolas took a few steps into the direction of the throne room, but then turned around, a small smirk on his face. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I really hope not to see you again any time soon."

Kíli grimaced. "Likewise." Watching Legolas slip silently through the doors, he wondered whether after this conversation he felt better than before or worse. Telling himself that it did not really make a difference, he stepped out of the shadows and hurried back to his room to finally speak to Tauriel, his heart heavy in his chest at the thought of having to reveal those awful latest developments to her.

Tauriel lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling. For a while she had been pacing the length of the room nervously, but, still feeling surprisingly fatigued, had retired to Kíli's extremely inviting, soft bed again to wait for him.

As she let her thoughts drift, reliving some of the events of the past few days, she could feel her mind begin to stray into that odd place between reality and dream. With her eyes half closed, she could see herself with Kíli, back in the woods, the ground below them soft and the sky above endless, free. She smiled as he leaned over her, the sun in the sky creating a halo around his face as he gazed down at her gently, letting one of his hands travel down the side of her body before resting it on her stomach. She covered his hand with hers and inhaled his scent as he leaned down, lightly touching his forehead to hers. Inside her belly, a hundred butterflies spread their wings and fluttered about happily, Kíli's touch still eliciting responses from her body she had not gotten used to yet.

Grinning happily, she was jerked out of this fantasy of hers when the door to their room was pushed open. Slightly disoriented, she sat up to look at Kíli—the real one, not her dream version—and watched him close the door behind him. When he turned to look at her, he grinned at her probably slightly sleepy and surprised expression, but below that grin, she could see that he was pale, his face lined with worry.

"What is it?" she asked, a tight knot of dread forming inside her stomach, chasing away those happy little butterflies from just a minute ago.

He shook his head sadly and advanced on the bed, sitting down on the edge of it with his body turned towards her. His silence made her more worried than any words he might have said. She scooted closer, gently forcing him to look her in the eyes with a hand under his chin. "What happened? Did Thorin take it badly?"

Kíli shook his head once more and took her hands in his. "No," he said, apparently swallowing against a lump in his throat. "No, that is not it. I did not even get to speak to him." He looked straight at her. "Tauriel, there is a group of elves down there with him right now. Wood Elves."

"Oh," was all Tauriel managed to get out before she was suddenly overwhelmed by a dizzying sensation that made her stomach turn itself upside down. She swayed slightly and Kíli immediately grabbed her by her upper arms, steadying her.

"Tauriel," he said, "Tauriel, look at me. Breathe. It's going to be alright, I promise."

Nodding feebly, she allowed him to guide her into a lying position. She closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, waiting for this sudden, unfamiliar, sensation of nausea to pass. Once she was sure that she was in full control over her body once more, she opened her eyes to see Kíli gazing down at her, his worried expression from before even intensified. "I'm fine," she said, not wanting him to be so anxious for her. And she was fine, wasn't she? It was only her troubled mind that was making her feel this way, because she knew that physically she should not—could not—be affected by any of this. Should she?

"Tell me what happened," she demanded, sitting up carefully.

Kíli still held onto her, but loosened his grip once he had assured himself that she was not going to faint. He sighed. "It is just a small party that has come to discuss some deal that Thorin made with them. Something about white gems. Legolas is with them, too."

"Oh," Tauriel said once again, careful to keep her expression neutral, well aware that Kíli was intently watching her reaction to Legolas's presence at Erebor. This really was not the time to give him any reason to be jealous where—really—there was no reason for him to be. "And Thranduil?" she thus asked, trying to focus on what really mattered right now. Even though she dreaded the answer.

But Kíli was able to ease at least some of her worries. "No, he is not here. And Legolas did not make it sound as if he would be in the near future."

"But?" Tauriel urged him on, sensing that there was more that he had to say about this.

Kíli sighed. "Legolas made it clear that he might not be able to protect you, should Thorin reveal your presence here. He was… not very happy that we chose to come here."

Tauriel bit her lip—she could not disagree with Legolas, seeing how things had turned out. "Oh Kíli, what are we going to do?"

Kíli gazed out of the window, frowning. "My gut tells me to run. But my head says we should not panic, should stay put for now and wait it out. Which is also what Legolas thinks, by the way."

Tauriel fell silent for a few moments, trying to quench the fear that was still threatening to overwhelm her. Kíli scooted closer on the bed and put his arms around her, obviously trying to comfort both her and himself with the gesture. She leaned into his touch. "Do you think Thorin might really… you know... take such drastic measures?"

He looked down, his disappointment in his uncle's recent actions palpable. "I wish I could say no. As it is, I really do not know. I don't know him anymore."

Tauriel swallowed against the threat of tears brought about by her own disappointment. Taking one of Kíli's hands in hers, she traced slow circles on its back. "But still you and Legolas are both right—it would be better if we stayed. Who knows what we might run into if we go now, without a plan and without preparation."

Kíli nodded and lifted her hand to his lips. "At least we are warned now and know what is going on. Fíli is in there with the elves as well. No matter what happens, we can at least be sure that we will learn the truth."

Not really knowing what else to say, Tauriel lay back down and pulled Kíli with her, both of them lying on their sides, facing each other. Outside, the light was beginning to fade, but none of them bothered to get up and light the candles. "I'm sorry it got this far," Kíli whispered after a while, the guilt in his voice heartbreaking.

Tauriel silenced him with her fingers against his lips. "Don't apologize. I was always well aware of the danger that Mirkwood still posed. I, too, gave in to the illusion of being safe here, protected."

"And you are," Kíli said. "Even if Thorin were to commit this ultimate act of betrayal, there would still be a number of very upset, headstrong dwarves he would have to have to get past in order to get to you."

Tauriel smiled a little, touched by his attempt to reassure that she was not wholly unwanted here, that there were still some that meant her well.

"Can I ask you something and you promise not to read anything into it?" she asked him.

He rolled his eyes and grinned a little sheepishly. "If it's Legolas you're going to ask after—he's fine. Holding his ground, as far as I could tell. He—he said to tell you that he is still loyal to you. Even if he cannot really do anything to help at the moment."

Tauriel pressed a quick kiss to his lips, thanking him for being honest with her and amazed at the fact that he seemed to be able to read her like a book. "That is good to hear," she simply said before snuggling into his arms. "How long do you think we will have to wait until we hear something?" It had gotten almost completely dark outside by now and Kíli moved to light the candle next to his bed before answering.

"I wish I knew. But I have a feeling it might still be a while," he said, getting up from the bed and walking across the room to make some more light. Tauriel instantly mourned the loss of his warm body beside hers. When he was satisfied with the amount of light in the room, he made to return to the bed, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Both of them froze. Shaking off his stupor, Kíli had just enough time to move between the door and Tauriel on the bed in a sweet gesture of protectiveness before the door opened to reveal Thorin.

He looked from Kíli to Tauriel, both of them slightly unkempt and not entirely presentable. "I hope I am not disturbing you," he said cautiously.

"No," Kíli returned immediately, but contradicted his words by moving slowly backwards until he reached the bed and sat down on it, searching for Tauriel's hand on the mattress behind him.

"Can I come in?" Thorin asked, the expression on his face unreadable. Not for the first time, Tauriel felt the strong authority he exuded, and she had to admit that she was scared, feeling like a puppet in his unpredictable hands. All she could do was hope that he would not simply cut her strings and leave her lying on the ground, limp and helpless.

Kíli nodded and gestured towards one of the chairs in front of the window, pulling Tauriel with him as he got up from the bed. Thorin slowly advanced into the room and crossed over to the chair Kíli had indicated, but did not sit down. Resting one of his hands on the backrest, he turned around and faced the couple standing closely together at the other end of the room.

"When you came to me earlier," he said after a long pause, looking at Kíli, "you were going to tell me that you are leaving again, weren't you?"

Tauriel felt Kíli's hand twitch in hers, but other than that he gave no outward signal of surprise at his uncle's words. "I don't see that we have any other choice," he returned, his voice deliberately calm and neutral.

Thorin sighed and turned to look out the window into the dark night for a moment. When he turned back around, Tauriel thought that he looked quite pained. "I did not speak of you to the other elves," he said softly, lifting his eyes to look at Tauriel who shivered slightly under the intensity of his gaze. Once again, she was struck by the strong likeness between him and his nephew. "Surely you must know that I would never do something like this to you," he added, returning his gaze to Kíli.

Kíli lowered his head and chose not to reply to this directly. "It does not really make a difference, though, does it?" he said, his voice hollow. "We cannot stay, Thorin. In fact, we should have left a while ago. Maybe we should never have come in the first place."

"Don't say that," Thorin said. He took a step into their direction, but stopped when both of them drew back slightly, Kíli pulling Tauriel more firmly against himself. "You really don't trust me at all anymore, do you?" The hurt on his face was impossible to overlook as he spoke those last words.

Kíli shook his head, once. "It's not… it's…" He broke off, searching for the right words. Fixing Thorin with his gaze, he continued, his voice grave. "Can you honestly say that you still trust me completely and unconditionally? After everything that happened? With everything that you know?"

Thorin did not reply, but looked away, frowning. "Then maybe you can understand how I feel," Kíli went on. Tauriel could feel a slight tremor go through his body and she squeezed his hand, trying to lend him all her strength.

Thorin appeared resigned when he spoke again. "So this is it? You are turning your back on us? On Erebor? After everything we have done to win this kingdom back?"

"Not if you don't force me," Kíli returned. Thorin looked at him questioning, asking him to elaborate. "If you let us, we will still support our cause—only from a distance. We want to go to Eriador, uncle. Talk to people, see whether we can build a relationship with them that is profitable for both sides."

The dwarf-king looked at his nephew for a very long moment, a surprised expression on his face. Then his gaze jumped to Tauriel again, confusion evident in his whole demeanor. "And you would be willing to be a part of this plan?"

She frowned, perplexed. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

Thorin simply stared at both of them. After a few moments of silence, Kíli spoke up again, his tone slightly desperate. "Don't you see that there is no more point in this game we are playing here, Thorin? Just let it go. Let us go. Please."

Tauriel watched Thorin avert his gaze once more, a deep frown creasing his forehead. "Alright," he finally said. "Alright, go wherever it pleases you. We will see how this whole thing works out."

Tauriel's eyes widened in surprise at his words. In front of her she felt Kíli relax his tense posture a little, his relief palpable. "Thank you," he said to Thorin. "Really. I promise you that we will give you no reason to regret this decision."

Thorin nodded absently. Everything about him said that he was not quite able to grasp what had just passed between the three of them. That some things he had felt quite certain about had suddenly been turned upside down and inside out. Taking a few steps into the direction of the door, he stopped when he passed them where they were still standing rooted to the spot next to the bed. He looked Kíli in the eye. His voice was sincere when he spoke.

"I do hope you will return eventually," he said. He looked at Tauriel briefly. "Both of you." You could hear that it cost him quite the effort to make himself say those words. But he did nevertheless. "And when you return," he continued, putting a tentative hand on Kíli's shoulder, "I hope that you and I will have overcome what has transpired between us. I hope that we can be again as we once were."

Kíli inclined his head, but did not move to reciprocate his uncle's gesture. "Me, too, Thorin. Me too."

Thorin looked at his nephew for another long moment, but Kíli kept his head slightly lowered, not quite meeting his gaze. Finally, Thorin lightly patted his shoulder before removing his hand. Without another word he went to the door and stepped through, quietly pulling it closed behind him.

For a few seconds both Tauriel and Kíli stood there without moving, staring at the closed door. Then Kíli spun around and crushed Tauriel to himself in a fierce embrace, burying his face against her. She could feel his knees buckle from the force of his relief and wrapped her arms firmly around him, holding him against her, needing his support as much as much as he needed hers at that moment.

They stayed like that for a while, both of them hardly daring to breathe for fear of everything coming apart if they did. When Kíli exhaled deeply after a few minutes, his breath hitched on a single, dry sob. As he lifted his head to look at her, Tauriel saw that his eyes were swimming with unshed tears, which in turn made her own eyes burn.

"I am so glad that this is finally over," she whispered, her voice shaky.

Kíli pulled her down into a hard, breathless kiss before resting his forehead against hers. "I hope… I hope with all my heart that it really is over, that at least one of our struggles has just come to an end."

Slowly disentangling herself from her beloved's embrace, Tauriel took a step back and sat down on the bed, lightly tugging at his hand to make him follow her. Together they lay back on the mattress once more, her head coming to rest on his chest, both of them exhausted, emotionally drained. She knew that there was a lot that they needed to discuss, that there were many plans and decisions to be made. Many conversations to be had with those close to them. Fíli. Dís.

But for now what both of them needed most was to simply lie there in each other's embrace and allow their minds to come to terms with the fact that they were going to leave Erebor soon. Together and in peace.