Chapter 2
Shelby

The last few days had been... Amazing! I can't even describe them with words. I ruined my chance with Rachel, and I didn't want to miss another chance. I never planned on taking Quinn's baby; I didn't even know she was giving Beth up until I came to the hospital. There I saw Quinn and Puck standing in front of the nursery... Watching Beth sleeps.

Beth is a pretty name and so is Beth. She looks like Quinn... So much. Quinn was making a mistake. She would regret giving Beth up, and so will Puck. She's the sweetest baby. She cried a lot, but that's what babies do. She wets her pants a lot, but that's what babies do. So I let that go.

That day, we had Vocal Adrenaline farewell party. Some kids were graduating. And Regionals 2010... That was the last time I coached them. That was the last hours of me being a part of Vocal Adrenaline. Jesse was graduating, and everyone will miss him. I took Beth with me and everyone knew she was Quinn's baby.

"Is that Quinn's baby?" Jesse asked while he paid attention to Beth's face. Clearly he knew that Beth was Quinn's. I looked at Beth who was sleeping that time and answered him,

"Yeah, she's Quinn's. She's pretty isn't she?" I smiled at Jesse. He was smiling, but I could see his eyes were full of doubt. "Is there anything wrong Jesse?" He frowned and looked at me.

"Umm.. Nothing. I just think it's weird and uhh... Yeah, she's pretty. She looks like Quinn." He smiled. But I could see he forced to smile. I knew but all I did was smile back at him.

The other members started to gather around me. They were all looking at Beth. They talked about Beth and Quinn though some didn't know Quinn's name. They didn't like Quinn because Quinn was from New Directions, but they did admit that Quinn is pretty.

"Shelby, can I hold her?" Jesse's voice was low and soft. I saw him and handed Beth to him. He smiled with his arms ready. He seemed so tender and it looked like he could handle Beth, so I left Beth with him for awhile as I went to take a drink.

I took a glass of water and sat in the corner of the auditorium looking at the kids. I smiled, I'm gonna miss them so much I thought. When I looked at them playing with Beth, I realized I'm going to lose a part of me... My kids. Then that brought me to Rachel. When Rachel asked me to move to McKinley I really considered moving. I wanted to, but I can't. I wanted to be with Rachel, pay the days I missed. But I have to move on and start a new life. Though Beth isn't my biological child and Rachel is... I have to get over Rachel.

I tried to connect the dots. If Rachel is my daughter and Quinn is her friend. Quinn's like my niece. That made Beth my granddaughter, somehow. I shook my head and tried to get back on what was happening about 16 years ago. As soon as I gave birth to Rachel, they took her away from me. I saw her head turned and she looked at me... And now Quinn who doesn't have to give Beth up gave her up? I was a fool back then. Why did I let those guys get me pregnant and gave my baby to them? My mind led deeper until Jesse nudged me,

"Shelby?" I realized Beth was crying. "Quinn's... Your baby's crying." I forced a quick laugh and took Beth from Jesse. I know Quinn is Beth's mother, but that didn't mean she's Beth's mom. Beth cried louder and I tried to calm her down. Jesse started making funny faces but it didn't work.

"Vocal Adrenaline's little girl is crying. Smile, sweetie." Someone called from behind Jesse, I didn't know who because I didn't see her. But Beth cried louder, I gave Beth her water bottle, but she continued to cry. Then Jesse looked at her and mentioned "New Direction" She started to calm down, but she was still crying. Then Jesse brushed her cheek and called her "Quinn's little girl" Suddenly, she stopped crying. We all looked at Beth, speechless. She seemed to know everything. Which includes; she's a part of New Direction and Quinn is her real mom.

"Does she know Quinn's her real mom?" Jesse asked, and when Jesse mentioned Quinn, Beth was looking around, as if she was searching for Quinn. "Are you looking for your m- I mean, for Quinn?" he smiled at Beth. Beth kept looking at Jesse like she was thinking of Jesse's words. So Jesse asked whether it was ok to take Beth for a quick walk with the other members. They –Jesse and Beth– seemed to be bonding really well.

I gave Beth to Jesse and told them to introduce Vocal Adrenaline to Beth. The kids laughed and I joined them laughing. They took Beth and walked in the corridors. I was alone in the auditorium, I thought about Rachel, Quinn, Beth and our connection a lot. My mind took me deeper and deeper. And everything was really complicated.

Time flew, it was getting late. I took my bag and went out to look for the kids. They were sitting in front the auditorium, laughing.

"Looks like you guys had fun" I said then smiled at them.

"Beth had fun too" Jesse took Beth's hand and used it to wave at me. I laughed and walked to them. Jesse looked like a father... How he cradled Beth and played with her. I'm being silly. I think about random things too much lately I said to myself. I walked to Jesse and he gave me Beth back.

"She sure had fun. I'm going home guys, take care. See you guys soon." I waved goodbye and walked towards the lobby, "Oh, and... I'm gonna miss you guys." I smiled. There was an awkward, silent pause for awhile. They whispered to each other then shouted,

"We're gonna miss you too Shelby!" they blew me a kiss and I smiled at them. They whispered once again and continued "We're gonna miss you too Beth!" I smiled. These kids.. They're talented, nice – though yes, sometimes they're heartless – but they're good kids, they gave their best efforts on every assignments I gave.

I put Beth on her baby seat, adjusted my own seat then put my seatbelt on. I took a quick look back at Carmel High and then drove straight home. Beth was quiet throughout the ride. And of course, she was sleeping. As soon as we arrived home, I parked my car in my garage and carried Beth inside.

The night was hot and humid but the sky was beautiful. It was filled with stars and constellations. But when I started to enjoy the view, Beth started to move around so I took her in. I changed Beth's clothes and laid her on her crib. Nights are usually the most tiring time. Beth wakes up, cries, asked for this and that. But those are the things I missed with Rachel. I've always wanted this.

Right after that, I took a shower, wore my bed robe and sat on my bed. I reached for the remote and turned the TV on. But I try to keep the volume low so it won't disturb Beth. You can barely hear the sound of the TV. Instead, I can hear the clock ticking, the house was so silent.

I wished Rachel was here. At least she would talk to me, break the silence. She would talk about her day, about glee club, boys, and her friends. Sure the room would be filled with her voice, but that would be ok. She has an amazing voice and every time she started talking, it sounded like she's about to sing. Sometimes, I wish Rachel's still a baby... A baby I can take care of, my own biological daughter. But the fact is... Rachel's in high school. And there is nothing I can to about it.

That made me sleepy. Or was it just the time for me to sleep? My eyes were getting heavy and I let myself sleep. I closed my eyes and emptied my mind. Today had been a long day but tomorrow's gonna be even longer. I need some sleep before tomorrow comes I thought, and that was my last thought of the day.

It was still dawn when I woke up from my dream. Quinn and Puck was in it. They came to my house when they found out I adopted Beth, but I made everything complicated. I didn't let them see Beth. I didn't even admit I adopted Beth. Instead, I asked them to go home and move on. I told them Beth was gone and I told them to forget about Beth. Asked them to forget that all Beth-related things happened. I was sweating when I woke up. Was I too tired from that dream? Or was I really tired hiding all these?

I tried to get back to sleep, but that popped on my mind for a few minutes... Probably for 15 minutes. Then I started to count sheeps, though I know it sounded silly, it worked. I fell asleep not long after that.

Another dream started during my second sleep that night. It wasn't about Quinn. It wasn't about Puck. It wasn't about Beth either. It was about Rachel. I dreamed that she was still a little baby, just like I remembered 16 years ago. She was dressed in white and circling her head was a little garland. But then suddenly everything faded and a loud bell started to ring.

The next thing I knew was I'm awake in my room with Beth crying. I got up from my bed and walked to Beth's crib. There she was crying harder and harder. I lifted her up and took her to the kitchen.

I had salad and juice for breakfast and I gave Beth her formula. She was quiet after that. While she was quiet, I gave her a bath and changed her clothes. After I was done with Beth, I put her to sleep and took a shower, changed my clothes and got ready; we planned to look for Beth's clothes that day.

I was ready, Beth was ready, so I drove to the mall. I listened to Vocal Adrenaline's recordings on the way. I smiled by myself listening to their voices and remembering things I had been through with them. Right turn, left turn, right turn, another right turn, left turn and we arrived. I found a spot for us to park and parked my car. Then I took Beth and went inside.

I was still looking for Beth's clothes in the kid's section – though it had been quite a long time – when I saw a man that looked familiar. I took a look at him again but I couldn't remember who he was, so I ignored him and continued shopping.

"Shelby?" I felt someone touched me from the back. I turned to face him – it was a guy – and I was shocked,

"Will?" – I stopped looking at the clothes and looked at Will – "W-what are you doing here?" Then I looked at Beth. He followed my eyes and looked at Beth too.

"Isn't that Quinn's..." – He stopped. Beth looked at him in silence. He looked confused and started talking again – "Why is she with you? I thought..." he stopped. But he didn't continue. He looked at me, then Beth, then me.

"I-I gotta go Will. See you later... Soon." I faked a smile for him and left. That was close... Wait, no. I was caught! What if he tells Quinn? Or Puck? I was drowning in a sea of my own fears. I tried to get back to where I was that moment and told myself to drive back home. Cautioned myself that Beth was in the car and I didn't want anything happen to her.

I couldn't think straight when I drove back home, but I made it. We were back home... Safe and sound. I looked around to make sure Will wasn't following me. And there were no signs of him coming. So I went in my house and locked the doors. I sat on my couch while holding Beth. I thought about what happened.

Why was I so stupid? I recognized that hair, but why didn't I remember it was Will's? What if he tells Quinn? Calm down, Shelby, calm down. I was told myself. I inhaled then exhaled slowly. I spent my afternoon there. Thinking to myself, what would happen next, what could happen next, stuffs like that.

Then something broke the silence that was building up... A knock on the door. I could feel my heart beating faster. But I have to see who was knocking, so I put Beth on her crib and peeked through the peephole. I opened the door and began to talk nervously,

"h-hey Puck, Quinn... What are you guys doing here?" Did they know I adopted Beth? Did they know I'm keeping Beth? Should I let them in and take Beth away from me? Or should I ask them to leave and lie that Beth isn't here?