Chapter 3
Quinn

I took a deep breath and hold Puck's hand. When I heard someone walked behind the door, I squeezed Puck's hand and he looked at me. I murmured a "sorry" and he smiled at me. Then the door opened and words come bursting out my mouth.

"Shelby, I want my kid back. I know she's inside and I know you're keeping her. I know I gave her up but that was a mistake and I don't want to make the same mistake as... I just want her back... I..." I stopped and looked at Shelby. Puck put his arm around my shoulder and looked at me.

"I-I don't understand what you're talking about" Shelby sounded throaty. I looked at Puck and I knew Puck was as upset as I am. His eyes were sharp and he tried to look inside the door but Shelby closed the door. He banged the wall and said,

"Shelby, I know that you have my kid. And I want her back. Just..." He stopped for awhile. I rubbed his back, trying to calm him down a little. He looked around then back at Shelby. "Just give Beth back to us." He finally made it simple. Shelby stayed silent. I stared at Puck and I knew Shelby was somehow scared of Puck. We were quiet for awhile then Shelby started talking,

"Look guys, I know how it feels like to lose your kid. But no, she's not with me." – her voice cracked – "I've been through this before. Seeing Rachel taken away from me was... Very hard. You guys had a choice, I didn't. And it was something I regret." I could see the pain in her eyes when she talked about Rachel, but she forced a smile. I knew she was sad but I need to know about Beth too. I don't want to push her too hard. I was afraid she will remember what happened 16 years ago. I knew how it hurts to see someone you love most taken away from you. But then Puck started talking,

"So that's why Jesse St. James was... You're coach of Vocal Adrenaline!" I thought Puck knew, but it turned out that he just figured that out. I looked at Puck, confused. He murmured something but I couldn't hear it. Shelby sighed,

"I was. Not anymore." I looked down and stared at the floor. I felt guilty I pushed Shelby to talk about things she love most... Which she lost. Suddenly Shelby laughed. "It's getting late, you guys should go home." She opened the door and went inside. As Puck started talking she waved goodbye.

"But what about..." Shelby closed the door when Puck wasn't even finish with his sentence. He clenched his fist and banged the door. Tears started to run down my cheek. Puck tried to calm himself and looked at me. He pulled me closer and hugged me. He knew it was time for him to be the mature one.

"It's ok, Quinn. Everything's gonna be ok." I knew he was not sure himself; his voice was full of doubts. For a split second, he reminded me of Finn. When Miss Sylvester knew I was pregnant, and she told the whole glee club. I cried and Finn was the one who calmed me down. He said the words Puck said.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of that thought. Puck looked at me and took my hand. He led me to the car. It was getting dark and the wind was blowing strong. I opened the door and waited for Puck to get in the car.

"Puck?" I started talking though I was still shaking. I stared at Puck and he turned his face to look at me.

"Yeah?" He answered while offering me some candies. I took one and held it in my palms. He looked so wise, so mature, so... Fatherly. When I saw that face, I instantly forced a smile.

"You promise we'll look for Beth until we find her right?" I questioned. He took my hand and kissed it. I smiled at him, still waiting for him to answer.

"I promise." He smiled. Then he turned the keys and drove back to my place. The car smelt like baby powder, or was it just me? But I let that pass and continued to talk with Puck. Then I felt my phone vibrating and I opened my bag. Puck looked at my phone looked at me. I checked my phone and saw Finn's text.

"Uhh.. It's Finn. He's asking where have we been. Cause we didn't come to school." – I told him cause I knew he was wondering – "Should I reply him?" Then I could see the frustration on his face. I knew how it feels like... To have to deal with so many things at the same time. When you feel like you can't handle any more stress at the moment. Puck remained quiet so I broke the silence, "I-I'll just not answer him. I think he can wait until tomorrow." I put my phone back into my bag. But as I put my phone back, Puck murmured,

"I know he's never gonna let you go. I know he's still in love with you." – I turned my face and faced him – "No, Quinn. Reply him. Tell him we're looking for Beth." He said with louder voice. I took my phone hesitantly and replied Finn... How Puck asked me to.

We were silent after I replied Finn's text. Puck played his CD. He turned the volume up and the music was loud. I think he didn't hear me talk when I asked him to lower the volume. Or he pretended that he didn't hear me. I could see that he was in a bad mood. Or probably mad at me. And I don't want to mess with him if he's in a bad mood. Not this time.

Puck pulled his car on my garage. He opened his door and I followed after him. My mom knew we had arrive back home and she opened the door. She smiled at us and went back inside. Puck slowed down and waited for me to walk beside him.

He took my hand and we walked to my room. He sat on my bed and held my hand while I was standing. He looked at me and smiled. No doubt, I smiled back at him. But my brain was still processing the situation. He was mad at me a second ago and now he's smiling at me?

"What is it Puck?" – I laughed. His face was like a little kid again. But all of a sudden, it hardened – "Puck?" – I chuckled – "Is everything ok?" He narrowed his eyes and looked at my hand. I followed his gaze and realized I was wearing a bracelet from Finn.

"What is that?" He groaned and stared at me. The bracelet was a gift from Finn and I wore it every day. Puck had no problem with it... Usually. But he paid attention to it now. It was just a simple bracelet. But it made me feel like Finn's with me.

"I-I'm sorry Puck. It's just... I can take it off if you want me too." He scoffed. I started to look serious and I tried to open my bracelet though I didn't want to. But while I tried to open my bracelet, Puck laughed. I stopped doing what I was doing and looked at him. He pulled me and I fell to my bed.

"Puck!" I shouted. But he ignored me and lied down next to me and pulled himself closer. "Puck!" I shouted again. He moved closer to me and stroked my hair. I suddenly remembered that night. The night I cheated on Finn. I sighed and looked at Puck. He slipped the lose strands of my hair behind my ears. "P-Puck?" He moved closer and kissed my cheek.

"I love you." He whispered in my ears and kissed me again... This time, on the lips. I kissed him back then pulled back. Beth came up to my mind again.

"Puck... You promise Beth will be with us again?" Probably I have asked this a hundred times now. But I just couldn't get it out of my mind. It feels like... Some part of me was missing. He rolled his eyes and laid his head on my pillow. I looked at him and then at Beth's picture next to my bed. He looked Beth's picture too and sighed.

"I miss her as much as you miss her, Quinn. I don't care what it takes me to find her, even if I have to risk my life, or lose it..." I laughed. He looked at me with a serious look. I stopped laughing and looked at him again.

"I-I'm sorry Puck... It's just... You sounded like Rachel. Like a drama queen. Finding Beth won't even risk your life." Puck came closer and talked with a low voice,

"Of course not… Or will it?" He smirks, "I was just trying to make you laugh. You were so... Gloomy." – He laughed kissed my forehead – "And I succeeded." I giggled... And I couldn't believe I giggled because of him. For a second I forgot how much I missed Beth. A year ago I wouldn't believe that being in the room with Puck would make me smile and happy.

But how could I not look gloomy? It was Beth. Every single time I thought of her and knew she was not with me, I felt like there's a hole in myself. I mean, I screwed up by letting Puck get me pregnant. Then I blamed myself for giving Beth up. It seemed like I've never made the right decisions. Every step I took causes me destruction in the end.

Sometimes, I wish that Beth was Finn's. We were perfect, we were in love. Then I was stupid enough to believe Puck. But I did stop believing "trust me" because of Puck. I was wrong when I lied to Finn. I should've told him the truth. When he gave his blanket from when he was a baby, looked for a job to pay for the doctor bills... I've missed him a lot.

Finn came up with the name Drizzle, and Puck came up with the name Jack Daniels, Jackie Daniels, and then Beth. Finn was busy with that stupid Skinemax game that he didn't get much sleep and Puck was busy with his stupid theory of how Super Mario Bros changed the civilizations. While Finn was probably unsure of his love, Puck was probably making out with every girl, or the hot ones he would say... To narrow it down, Santana.

Puck was talking, but I didn't listen. I was thinking of so many things at once. But I was thinking about Beth and Finn most. I stared at my make up table blankly. He continued talking and I continued thinking about... Everything. When a small smile formed at the edge of my lips, he realized I wasn't listening to him.

"Quinn?" He nudged me and stood up. "So, yes?" He was definitely asking me something before. I didn't know what his question but I smiled and answered yes. He unbuttoned his shirt and threw his shirt to my couch. I narrowed my eyes when he jumped back to my bed. He looked at my white dress I was wearing.

He started kissing my neck and I moved a little, wishing he would stop, but he didn't. I shrugged and moved to the very edge of my bed, living some space between us. He moved closer and kissed me while he was talking,

"Quinn, you look so pretty tonight." I looked at him and smiled, wondering whether he was drunk or something. But he had been with me all day, and I didn't see him drinking. So he was definitely sober that time. Or was he being the same old Puck again? The Puck who played and made out with every girls. The badass Puck?

I stayed where I was, suddenly reminded of that day. Is he trying to... No, Quinn. I asked and then answered myself. He continued kissing me but I kept pulling back. He looked at me, confused. I was confused, he was confused. I guess we were both confused. But then he started kissing me again. I pulled back and stood up.

"What do you think you're doing, Puck?" My tone was raising and I knew he thought I was angry. Surprisingly, I was not really angry. I was confused. I was just being… Me? Puck looked down, and then at me and back down. He smirked and stood up. He walked my way and smiled. He tried to take my cardigan off but I pulled it back. "Stop it, Puck! I'm not going to believe another 'trust me' and I'm not going to make another mistake."

He stopped and stood in silence. Then he started kissing me again, I smiled and kissed him back. I knew he understood. Or I thought he did. But I was wrong. He put his arms around my waist and pulled our body closer. He held me tight and collapsed on my bed. I pulled away from him and he let me. But his hand was travelling up my thigh. I pushed his hand away and stared at him, I tried to give the most serious look I got.

He sighed and took his whispered a soft 'wait'. He went outside and I waited in my room. I didn't know what he was doing, but I could hear him talking with my mom. He was back few minutes later... With a pack of wine coolers. I sighed and laid my head on my pillow.

"Puck, you know I'm not good with wine coolers." – He smiled and opened one. Then he took a sip and offered me to take a sip too – "I guess I don't want to make the same mistake again, Puck" I took the wine cooler and put it on top of my lamp table, without tasting it this time. I smiled at him and shook my head.

"C'mon, Quinn. I can guarantee you'll not get drunk this time." It took me some time to translate what he was saying. And I concluded that "guarantee" was another word for "trust me" so I tried to change the topic... Or end the conversation.

"I think you should go home, Puck. I'll see you at school tomorrow, then we'll look for Beth." I smiled and gave him his shirt. He took his shirt and put it on. I kissed his cheek and took his hand. He let me drag him to his car and gave me a quick kiss. I knew this was the right decision. I didn't know if I'll go with him tomorrow when he acted like the old him again.

"You need to know that I still love you, Quinn." He said. I was not sure if he loves me, but the biggest doubt at that moment was; do I really love him?

I didn't let that thought distract me. I smiled at him as he opened his car door. He went in his car and smiled at me. I waved him goodbye and he started driving. I went inside and locked the door. When I turned my body, I saw my mom standing with a worried face.

"Quinnie, you didn't... Puck? Wine coolers?" What was my mom asking? Of course not. Not again, and not Puck. I shook my head and walked to my room. My mom followed behind me. I sat on my bed, taking my cardigan off. She sat beside me and stroked my hair. I smiled and took Beth's picture.

"I miss you" I whispered. My mom rubbed my shoulders and smiled. I felt my eyes filling up and finally a tear dropped. I wiped my tear so my mom wouldn't notice. But of course she noticed, she knows me well and she would know it when I try to hide something from her. She gently turned my face to face her. Her smile started to fade and I knew she always wanted me to keep Beth. I never listened to her. What was I thinking before?

I looked at my mom and forced a smile. She looked into my eyes and knew everything was not ok. She let out a small laugh and I did too. She hugged me and told me Beth's going be with us again. My mom had been right most of the time, so I believed her this time. I started to sob and she rubbed my back.

"It's better for you to sleep now, Quinnie. Tomorrow's the last day of school for this week and you're going to look for Beth again after school. It's going to be a long day." She smiled again. I nodded and went to take a shower. As I washed my hair, thoughts of Beth kept popping in my mind. I turned the shower off when I was finished and took my towel. I wore my pajamas and dried my hair.

I switched the light off then crawled into my bed and pulled the covers. I reached for my iPod on top of my lamp table and turned it on. I played Lean on Me and remembered how the glee club sang for me and Finn when we faced this whole thing. Suddenly, a smile formed on the edge of my lips. Then the song ended and changed to Beth. I sighed but let that drift me to sleep. Tomorrow's going to be another long day.