Chapter 4:

For the first time in what seemed like forever, he picked me up with his muscular arms snaking around my waist. Laughter exploded everywhere from both of us as he spun me in numerous circles. My hands wrapped up in his hair as he began to lower back to the floor. My heart told me to kiss him, but my impulses told me not to. I always thought that would be the other way around.

He used to do this to me when he got really excited. When he was failing chemistry last year, our sophomore year in high school, his dad went total hard ass. Failing to our parents of course, meant your average as in you have a C in the class. He worked really hard for the grade he got, which was a 98% on his final test. He passed with a low A, considering Dr. Sheppard talked to the teacher personally. Derek Sheppard always gets what he wants. Anyway, she let him make up some late work and do a few extra credit projects to pull his grade up. He came to my house the night he got his score report to hang out and shoved the paper right in my face with enthusiasm. The he picked me up and hugged me like he always did.

Reminiscing always brought tears to my eyes, when it was about Felix.

"My mom talks about your surgery a lot. She said she had never seen such a shredded heart in her whole career." I filled in the empty void of silence with quite possibly the worst conversation ever.

"I am not ashamed to say I am about 75% proud of that." He smiled and states through my nervous laughter.

"She said you flat lined not long after you got in there. She said you died." I remember that part of her story too well. I dropped my hands and took a step back.

He looked down with sorrow strung across his face. His hand reached up and he intertwined his fingers in mine.

"Let's talk about something else," He diverted.

"Like what?" How you're not dead…

"How's Cristina?"

"She's…" I struggled to find the right words to say, but my struggle said enough to the one person that knew me more than myself.

"Still distant?" He finished for me.

"It's like I swear we are not even in the same world anymore, even if we were in the same room. I don't understand her. She thinks that money and food will just shut me up-"

"Does it not?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"No, it does exactly what she wants, which is that exactly. She barely ever talks to me, the very few times a week I can see her. Felix, I talk to your mom more than I talk to my own mom." I stated with attitude.

"Is she good?" His eyebrows pinched together.

"She's a lot better. You know, she's Chief of the General Surgery Department."

His head lifted from its gloomy position and the corners of his mouth twitched up. "That's wonderful. I knew she had it in her."

That's typical Felix.

I yawned and looked at the clock.

It was 10:36 pm, which was bed time for me. I let out a long yawn, realizing how tired I was.

Felix chuckled and retorted, "Same old Elaine."

I walked from the kitchen to the hallway of stairs and trudged on up. I took a left into my room and Felix followed me.

"I'm changing into something more comfortable." I took out a green cotton t shirt from my drawer and tiny black shorts.

"I don't think I'll mind," He said with a smirk plastered across his face.

I rolled my eyes and pushed his out the door, slamming it in his face with a quiet I finished changing, I opened the door and heard something that filled every fiber in my body with fear.

The front door opened and my mom slammed her keys on the table in the foyer.

"What are you doing home, mom?" I yelled from my room sharply. Oh my God, Felix.

I zipped down the stairs, where he was standing at the bottom and pulled him by the back of his shirt up the steps. I shoved him into my room and close the door softly.I tiptoed back down the steps and into the kitchen. About fifteen seconds later, my mom entered.

"They told me to just go home for tonight. I'm still on-call and someone is going to need me, I know it. A patient of mine just went through an aortic aneurysm repair. I have seen one aortic aneurysm that was bigger than this mans and that was Adele's. It was crazy. There was blood everywhere. I thought he also had a pericardial tear AND a plural effusion and of course, I was right because I am brilliant. I don't know how this man lived so long. We repaired it all but damn. It was spewing like a fountain of blood. It was so wonderful."

This was how my mom talked, only all the time now, and only about her surgeries. I remembered Felix upstairs in my room, unattended.

"That's really cool, Mom." I rushed up the stairs, "Shoot me a text if you leave."

I turned the knob of the door so fast I thought my wrist was going to break. I shut the door behind me and turned around to reveal Felix spread out on my bed in his black t shirt and boxers. I rolled my eyes and turned off the light in my room. I went to my bathroom and splashed some water on my face after taking off the makeup I had on. I took a fuzzy black blanket from the closet and spread it over both of us.

I turned away from Felix. Tears started pouring down my face and I tried to stop them, but they just wouldn't.

After a few minutes, I dozed off to sleep. I had the typical nightmares of the car accident, as usual. I woke up sweating with an annoying buzz on my phone vibrating against my bedside table.

I was completely alone.

I knew this was too good to be true but for some odd reason I still started to panic. My breathing was accelerated and my body heat rose to most likely 100 degrees.

Was this all in my head?