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Take 84: Walter
Category for this take: Humor / Romance
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"This is great."
"I told ya!"
"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."
"Yes, well, let's not dwell."
"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"
"Close enough."
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BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!
"Carter. ... Ok."
"It's for you, Sir. It's Walter."
"What!? ... Yes, I'm transferring. ... Well, thank you, Walter. It's nice to know you finally feel like you broke me in. ... Well if you didn't mean for it to sound that way, maybe you shouldn't have said it that way. ... Don't worry. The person I've picked to replace me is good at the paperwork thing. ... No, as much as it probably should be, it's not her. ... Because she's needed at Area 51. ... No, the new guy doesn't work at the SGC. ... Just think of it this way, you'll look like an expert to him and he will be looking to you for advice. ... Bye Walter. I've got fish to catch."
"Walter didn't want you to go, Sir?"
"No, he wants me to go, because I'm horrible at the whole paperwork thing, and he wants you to take my place."
"Me? I've got at least five more years to make General."
"I know. Otherwise you would have been my first choice. Of course that would be after a sabbatical allowing us to finalize that other project of ours, Sam. That's it! He's trying to keep us apart!"
"What? You're not telling me Walter has a crush on me, too, are you? I thought he was married."
"No. Well, yes he's married, but everyone at the SGC has at little a little crush on you. His is innocent. But that's not what I'm talking about."
"Jack."
"Sorry, Walter is the bookie for the pool. He probably doesn't want to have to deal with the fallout of all of the payouts-"
"And if I were in charge of the SGC, I'd still report directly to you-"
"And we'd have to cancel our wedding plans."
"That can't really be the reason he's trying to keep us apart."
"Sam, I've heard rumors that the pot is well over fifty thousand, with 36 different subcategories. Walter is probably going to have to take two days of leave to settle the bets. And that is just for the local payouts."
"Local?"
"Hammond, the President, and the Joint Chiefs are in DC. If some of the payouts are off-world, he's going to have to pay some SG teams under to table to transport the payouts on their next visits to the Alpha, Beta, and Gamma sites, as well as some of our allies that we have regular contact with. Some of those allies were betting livestock. You know how much trouble he'll be in bringing cows through the gate."
"Well that's what he gets for placing bets on our love life. Only a sucker would think this wouldn't happen eventually."