Damn it. I feel like I'm moving too fast while another part of me says that I'm moving too slow. Which one should I listen to? Should I keep it this way? Honestly, I like it this way.

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Seeking Solace

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John Cena's determined to find out what's wrong with Randy Orton.

A screwdriver digs a hole inside of John's wall and he knows that he's switched hotels and got a room right next to Randy Orton and he's becoming obsessed but he has to win the bet and he has to figure out what's wrong and he knows that he'll never forgive himself if he doesn't do both.

He watches Randy Orton rise up from his bed and start to undress himself and a blush creeps up on John's face but he doesn't know how to look away as he takes in the naked image of Randy's body. He'd never seen such a beautiful man and he feels turned on just staring as he looks away and when he looks back, he's in his wrestling attire and has a gray t-shirt on and his blue eyes hide nothing and the misery's glowing and John wants nothing but to touch him, hold him, comfort him but he can't and he knows he can't.

He sighs softly but not loud enough for Randy to hear and Randy doesn't seem to notice anything at all—everything seems gray and everything seems too black and he doesn't know if he should live and he doesn't know if he should die why doesn't anyone like me? John can only see his soul hardening into a mass inside of Randy's eyes, scared, so very scared, and he sees as Randy looks down and he can practically see the silence engulf him.

John Cena can't take it, seeing those sad so very sad eyes longing for comfort, seeing that cold rigid face plaster pain and agony, seeing Randy's pale skin crack and break and turn gray from the memories that seem to engulf him every few moments and he knows that it's stupid and that it'll probably make Randy question his motive but he runs to the next room and he swings the door open.

He makes Randy jump and shock burns in his eyes as well as anger but the pain of it all still overlaps anything and everything as John runs towards him and he stares at him and Randy shouts at him with boiling rage and screaming darkness and burning hatred you're so broken that it breaks me. "Randy…" John's voice is so soft but Randy doesn't hear him at all.

"What the hell?! Cena?! What are you doing here? You been stalking me or—"that moment, John had pinned Randy to his bed and had stared at him with lusting eyes and he doesn't know if it's the bet or the sadness but he leans down and captures Randy's mouth into a deep, passionate, obsessive kiss and for a moment, Randy had kissed back. John pulls back, breaking the kiss when he realized that Randy's kissing him back and that he had kissed Randy Orton but he wasn't gay.

Randy looks up at John, breathless from the almost kiss, and shock's still barreling through Randy's eyes. "Why—?" his voice's weaker now because his breathing's turned worse but as he takes a deep breath, he looks back at John. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

John looks at him, in disbelief, in doubt, in distrust, "you kissed me back." He says and his voice's almost deadly but Randy looks away as if he can't hear the venom that had swirled in his voice and as John sits beside Randy, the Legend Killer looks away with thoughts of confusing running through his head as he realizes that he'd truly kissed John.

"You pulled back," Randy objects and John realizes that as he pulls Randy back into his lap and for a moment, Randy likes it and he notices how warm this is before reality hits him with a bang and John is a man and he's married and he jumps up, stepping towards the wall.

"Orton, let me kiss you again," John needs the permission this time and he knows that if he just kisses him then Randy will take that as sexual assault and he shouldn't force Randy to do this and he knows that this isn't the way to win that bet and he's confused with thoughts of the bet and thoughts of a serious relationship with Randy Orton do you really want to be with him? but reality hits him as well and he realizes that he doesn't want Randy as much as he wants to win the bet.

"No," Randy says and his voice's determined and he knows that and as John Cena lies down onto the bed, Randy's eyes almost threaten to pop out of his sockets knowing that Cena thinks that he can stay here. "Get out of my room!" he exclaims and his eyes are staring dangerously at John.

John shakes his head and looks at the time and laughs at the thoughts that spiral through his mind. "You don't have a match today and neither do I so you don't need to go to the ring, Randy. Just stay here. Maybe we can talk…" Randy's eyes fill with rage as he reluctantly climbs back on his bed and lies down beside him but Randy knows if he tries to take advantage to this situation, he's ready to hit him, hard and he won't look back.

"I don't want to talk to you," Randy spits out and stares at the ceiling and the pain in his eyes seem to increase and John's heart's practically leaping out to touch him. John's hand move towards his shoulder and Randy looks up before John scoops up Randy in his arms and Randy gives him series of punches on John's chest but as last night in the park, John wouldn't let go. "Let me go!"

John shakes his head and tightens his grip onto Randy's body and that only makes Randy work harder but for a while, his punches deflate. "So, Orton…let's t—"John stops in his position as he notices that Randy's eyes are closed peacefully and that his hot breath is on John's neck and he's asleep with that small sad smile on his face that makes John loosen his grip before realizing that Randy's truthfully asleep and for a while, he holds him.

"No…please…n-no…please…just leave her alone…" Randy whispers in his sleep, clinging to John Cena, distressed, wanting help and seemingly suffering harshly as Randy's face tightens and his shoulders tense and his grip tightens around John's t-shirt. "Just leave her the hell alone…"

And John stares as Randy repeats the words, in the same agony, in the same pain, in the same rage and darkness and John doesn't know if his comfort's enough for Randy as his heart pulses with pain and his brain burns with agony of memories that are never too far away.

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Yeah, I know. Short again. Maybe it's turning into a pattern, long, short, long, short—oh well…

- Sam