Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Okay, this chapter is from Jasper's POV. There won't be many of these since I prefer to write from BPOV, but I wanted Jasper and Jacob to have a conversation about Bella, and I couldn't really do that form her POV.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty: Understanding

I looked down at the girl in my arms and couldn't help but smile. I had noticed that since her and I had gotten together, I had been doing that a lot more often. Smiling. Being with Bella made me feel human again; it made me feel like I had somewhere in this world where I belonged. And now she was going to become a vampire, and I hoped that I wouldn't lose that feeling.

A part of me was hoping that Jacob's pack would turn down our request for a free pass on Bella's humanity. I knew that I wanted to be with her forever, but I didn't have the right to subject to her to this lifestyle even if she did understand what she was walking into. While she liked to act tough and pretend that she knew what was going to happen, she had no clue.

Carlisle and I had briefly spoken about it while Bella had been asleep at our house. It was important that she make her own decisions, because I would never try to force my own thoughts and opinions onto her. We would let her decide what she wanted to do, and we would stay and support her in case the inevitable happened and it blew up in her face. I prayed that her dream world would occur, though.

I didn't want to have to take her away from her father. I wanted her to feel strong and be able to protect herself, but I also feared that in her attempt to prove herself strong she would lose the battle against Victoria. Then I would have no reason to exist. I wouldn't belong in either world if I were without her.

I would deal with that when it came, though. She was my equal; she would not be told what to do. I heard her sigh in her sleep and my arms automatically tightened, pulling her closer to me. Her warmth still caught me by surprise and I reveled in it. It had been decades seen I had felt warm, since I felt anyone's touch beside that of my immediate family.

I was broken out of my thoughts when I heard a twig snapping from the woods behind her house. My body tensed up and I smelled the air to see who was outside. The stench was repulsive, so I knew that it was Jacob Black. Apparently he had decided to come by instead of calling like he had told Bella. It would be better this way, I suppose. I could run interference with whatever their decision was and explain it to my love.

I slowly untangled myself from Bella and stood from her bed. I looked down at her as she clutched the blanket closer to herself, trying to find my body in the bed. She made a little grunt when her arms wrapped around the air instead of me. "Jasper," she whispered.

I leaned over her and whispered into her ear. "I'm here, Bella. I'm not going to be far, and I'll be back as quickly as I can. I love you."

Her body relaxed a little as she snuggled back down into her blankets. "I love you," she mumbled from her unconscious state. Even as a mumble, those three syllables were the most beautiful words that could cross her lips.

I walked over to the window and jumped outside in one quick, soundless movement. I ran over to where Jacob was waiting in the woods. He was leaning against a tree, much as he had done earlier today when Bella and I had went to speak with him. He had a long scratch down his arm that hadn't been there earlier, though.

He noticed that my eyes lingered on the scratch, obviously curious as to how it had become to be.

"Lover's quarrel," he answered with a shrug. "Don't even think about drinking the blood from it, because I'll put up one hell of a fight."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Please. Your blood is disgusting to me. Even if it weren't, I'm not an infant. I can control my thirst." I normally wasn't much of a talker, especially to those who detested my existence. He had been worried about my presence near Bella, so I would make sure that he knew I had power over myself.

"I spoke with the pack. Needless to say, they didn't go for the idea. They think that my relationship with Bella is clouding my judgment, especially Leah." I heard his small chuckle when he said her name and noticed how his feelings flickered to adoration. Maybe Jacob Black wasn't as in love with my girlfriend as we all thought he was. I would have to push this topic further.

"So we would need to leave," I stated.

"Not necessarily. That's why it took me so long to come back with the answer. When the group didn't agree, I decided to speak with some of them individually. My friends Quil and Embry weren't crazy about the idea, but they eventually saw things from my perspective and have agreed that we should let Bella make her own decisions. She would anyway." Another chuckle, this one filled with annoyance. I let him continue.

"Once they agreed with me, we were able to speak with Seth Clearwater, Leah's brother. He's the youngest and the most easy to sway. He's only met Bella a couple times when she visited me and my father, but he likes her and agreed that it was her decision. With the pack divided, we approached the subject again. Sam's old-fashioned and will never approve. Paul's just an asshole, Leah's jealous of Bella, but Jared was able to be subjective. We got the majority, so the pack won't make you leave if Bella becomes one of you."

I nodded. It was a relief to be able to give Bella some good news. As good as this could be, anyway. It was not set in stone yet, but it would not limit our options for fighting Victoria. "There are conditions," I stated, knowing that Jacob could have said this over the phone.

"Of course," he started. "Bella is the only loophole you get. No other humans are to be bitten or turned by any of you. I know that you think you can control her and she has limitless faith in herself, but if she… If she hurts anyone, the rest of the pack will attack. I won't be able to fight them off, and I don't know if I would want to. As important as she is to me, it's even more important that I protect the people in Forks."

He took his role as protector seriously, and I admired him for that. I could feel that he was still unsure of himself, even frightened in some ways. "Those are not difficult conditions to agree to," I answered, speaking for my family. "Bella is the only person stubborn enough to want this and she's the only person that we care this much about. No one else will be turned or bitten. I'll make sure that she doesn't hurt anyone, but if there were to be a slip, we would be gone before you could come after us. You're insane to think I would let you hunt her."

He relaxed a little against the tree. "I'm glad to hear you say that, because it would be my undoing if I had to come after her. It's bad enough that I'm already in the doghouse because of this."

"Leah," I stated. "I didn't know."

"I haven't told Bella yet; it's still new to me. All of this is new." His voice was tired and I could sense that he was struggling with accepting his new life.

"You'll adjust eventually," I assured him. "At least you have someone to go through it with. It's more unbearable alone."

"Look, I'm not stupid," Jacob said. "I see the similarities in our families, in what we are. I just can't view you and your family as more than an enemy. It's going to be hard enough to try and accept Bella once she's a bloodsucker. It will be impossible for me to ever respect or like the rest of you."

"I'm not asking you to, Jacob. I'm just asking that you try to remember the person Bella is. This is going to be harder for her than she's allowing herself to believe, and I don't want her to be even more hurt by losing her best friend."

"I can't promise you anything, but I'll try," he answered. "I need to get back to the others and let them know that we've spoken about this, but I do have a question for you." I nodded, signaling him to continue. "Is it really wise that you stay with her?"

I knew this was coming. "I won't lie to you; her blood is very tempting. But I love and need her too much to ever allow myself to hurt her. I take precautions before I'm near her, hunting more frequently. It's hard, but it's not worth the pain that I would cause by letting myself slip."

"You could hurt her without biting her as well." His voice had a jealous edge to it, but his emotions were more embarrassed and worried. I knew what he was getting at, and I knew that he was too scared to ask.

"That's none of your business, and I'm sure that Bella would not appreciate you asking about it," I stated through clenched teeth. I stood taller, daring the boy to continue this conversation. He was much denser than I thought.

"Bella knows that I have her best interest at heart. It's dangerous."

"I'm aware. I also have her best interest at heart. Her safety and happiness are my top priorities."

"Which one gets put ahead of the other, though?" Jacob asked.

"Could you deny her anything? I can't. I won't," I paused, looking for the words to make him understand. "Bella wants to have a normal relationship. She's been through a lot in the past year, more than most people will go through in their entire life. Now that I'm with her, now that we have each other, I'm going to make damn sure that she doesn't have to go through that kind of shit again. So if I have to try harder in order to make her happy, then I'm going to do just that."

"I just hope you can try hard enough," he replied without missing a beat.

"I will," I vowed more to myself than the annoying boy in front of me. "If we're done now, I would like to get back to my girlfriend." A distant howl came from the direction of the reservation and I noticed that Jacob winced slightly before his emotions became erratic. I laughed out loud. "Sounds like you should be getting back to yours as well."

The taller boy snarled at me before running into the forest and away from Bella's home. I turned to look up at her bedroom window. I could hear her melodic breathing, a sign that she was still dreaming. From the feelings I was getting from her, it was a peaceful dream. No nightmares tonight.

I ran toward the house and jumped through the window in one bound. She was curled up on her side, clutching the blanket where I normally lay beside her. I stared at her, trying to convince myself that I deserved this amazing girl before me. I understood now. I understand why Edward had always been such a pain in the ass last year about her.

It was almost physically impossible to be near her and not touch her, not be with her. It was worse knowing that there was a psychotic vampire on the loose, wanting to kill her for part of some ridiculous revenge plot that came from her simple, sadistic mind. I hadn't gotten it when he asked us all to leave her, to abandon a member of our family. I knew now.