Sorry that it's been so long a lot of stuff has been happening lately, some good things and some bad things. But I'm on holidays for like nine weeks now so like look forward to more updates :) again sorry for taking forever have some pies.
well I don't own the mortal instruments or it's characters Cassandra Clare does.
btw sorry if it's bad.
Alec's POV
Alec was sitting down on the edge Magnus's bed and he was using a shaky hand to hold a bunch of tissues to his head to try and stop the bleeding. Magnus was sitting in front of him, on his desk chair, and he was looking at Alec with a concerned look
Alec's hand was shaking too much and the tissues kept slipping out of his grasp. He was scared. Magnus picked up the bunch of tissues and held them to Alec's head for him.
"Thanks," Alec whispered, looking everywhere but at Magnus.
"It's okay, sweetheart" Magnus said.
After a few more minutes the bleeding had stopped and Magnus put a band aid over the cut and kissed it softly.
Alec felt his bottom lip quiver and he felt tears well up in his eyes, don't cry he told himself, crying is stupid.
He felt a few tears fall down his cheek and he wiped them away quickly hoping that Magnus wouldn't notice but of course Magnus did.
"Shhh, Darling" Magnus whispered, climbing onto the bed and pulling Alec onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around Alec and Alec felt more tears spill over.
You don't deserve Magnus, The little voice said; He's too good for you.
The little voice is right, Alec thought, I don't deserve Magnus he's too good for me all I've done is intrude his home and throw all of my problems at him and all he's done is take care of me.
Alec wiped at his face and tried to get the tears to stop, "I'm sorry" he whispered.
"Why are you sorry?" Magnus asked.
"You're so nice to me and you care and look after me and all I've been doing is making you deal with my problems" Alec whispered. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay Alec." Magnus said, "You don't need to apologise."
"It's not okay!" Alec yelled, his tears still falling, "I've came into your home and I've messed everything up!"
"No you have…."
Alec pulled out of Magnus's arms and sat on the top of the bed, he bought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, "maybe it's better if I leave, go back to the orphanage or something," he whispered to himself.
"Alec stop…"
"Yes that's a good idea, I'll just leave" Alec said, nodding he could hear Magnus's voice but he couldn't hear what he was saying, "Max, Jace and Izzy can stay here because Jeffery and Vicky like them but I need to go."
Yes, that's a good plan. Alec nodded to himself, it doesn't really matter where he goes or what happens the only thing that matters is that Magnus and everyone else doesn't have to deal with all of his problems.
Alec felt his face being jerked up and lips press against his. Alec's eyes widened and he pushed against Magnus's chest, trying to get away but Magnus had his face firmly in his hands and wouldn't let go.
Slowly Alec started to kiss back. No I can't leave, he thought, I'd miss Magnus too much and I'd miss Jace and Izzy and Max and even Vicky… I can't leave I love them to much, what if something bad happens to them? What if they get hurt? What if Magnus gets hurt?
Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus's neck and pulled Magnus down on top of him, they didn't break apart. Magnus pulled back a little, "Don't leave" he whispered, "Your siblings need you, I need you."
Alec nodded, "I won't go" he said, "I'm sorry for even thinking that I should go."
Magnus smiled, "Good."
Alec leaned up and pressed his lips to Magnus's, "I'm sorry" he whispered in between kisses, "I'm really sorry."
After about half an hour of making out they were called downstairs for dinner. Magnus pulled back, "We should go get some food, though I don't really want to leave" he smirked.
Alec felt the heat rush up to his face, "Let's go get something to eat" he mumbled, shoving Magnus off of him.
Magnus laughed a little, "Okay, sure but we'll be continuing this later."
Alec felt more heat rush up to his face and he bent his head down covering his face with his hair.
"Are you okay?" Magnus asked softly, brushing a stand of hair out of his eyes.
Alec nodded, "Well as okay as I can be" he answered honestly, "Thanks for asking."
Magnus smiled and pressed his lips to Alec's forehead, Alec felt his heart flutter a little bit and for the first time in a while he didn't scold himself for being stupid and getting his hopes up.
Magnus grabbed Alec's hands and pulled him off of the bed. They walked down stairs to the kitchen Alec dropped Magnus's hand before they got too close to the kitchen. They walked into the kitchen and Magnus and Alec sat down next to Magnus.
Vicky placed a plate filled with something that smelt weird Alec looked up at her hoping that she'd tell him what it was.
"It's Thai" Vicky said smiling, "It's good."
Alec nodded and tried to turn the corners of his mouth up but failed. "Okay," He mumbled.
He turned back around and poked something that looked like chicken with his fork. Magnus chuckled beside him, "Just eat it Alec, it's yummy I promise."
Alec looked at Magnus and raised an eyebrow. Magnus sighed and took Alec's fork from him, "What are you doing?" Alec asked.
"I know you aren't going to eat any of it" Magnus said.
Alec sighed and crossed his arms, Magnus knew him to well. Magnus had gotten some chicken onto the fork and he waved it in front of Alec's face, "Open up." he said.
"That's not going to work" Jace said, causing the two of them to look at him. "I've tried force feeding Alec before, it was painful and it was all for nothing."
"What did he do to make it painful?" Jeffery asked.
"He scratched my face a few times and kicked me in the nuts" Jace said.
Max let out a giggle, "Nuts" he said, covering his face with his hands as he giggled uncontrollably.
Alec opened his mouth to tell Jace that he was overreacting but Magnus shoved the forkful of chicken into his mouth.
Magnus pulled the fork out between Alec's lips and the chicken was in Alec's mouth, "There" Magnus said, smiling triumphantly.
"You still have to get him to chew" Isabelle said, "He could easily spit it out."
Alec smiled slightly but Magnus clamped a hand over his mouth and he frowned.
"Chew," Magnus said, smiling sweetly.
Alec glared at Magnus and chewed slowly, it was actually really nice. Alec swallowed and looked at Magnus.
Magnus smiled and lowered his hand, "Told you I could make him eat something."
Alec rolled his eyes and took his fork away from Magnus's hand, "Shut up" he muttered, stabbing at another piece of chicken and shoving it into his mouth.
Magnus chuckled and smiled at Alec.
The rest of the dinner went by quickly everyone talked about their day and Alec avoided any conversation someone tried to make with him.
When dinner was done Alec and Magnus went back upstairs together into Magnus's room, Magnus put on a movie on his laptop and they sat down on the bed together, Alec rested his head against Magnus's chest and Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec.
"What movie is it?" Alec asked.
"It's 'The Grinch'" Magnus said.
That movie title sounded familiar, "Isn't that a Christmas movie?" Alec asked.
Magnus nodded.
"It's not even Christmas yet" Alec said.
"Doesn't mean we're not allowed to watch it," Magnus said smiling.
Alec shrugged and snuggled into Magnus and watched as Magnus started the movie. They watched the movie together and every time Magnus laughed during it Alec would smile, he loved Magnus's laugh and he hoped that he could hear it more often. Alec found out why the movie sounded so familiar, he used to watch it with his parents when he was younger.
Once the movie finished Magnus turned to Alec, "Did you like it?" he asked.
Alec nodded, "Yeah it was good."
Magnus smiled and kissed the top of Alec's head. "Do you want to go to bed?" Magnus asked.
Alec was about to say no but he yawned.
Magnus chuckled and shut his laptop, "Come on you're tired."
Alec blushed and got up out of Magnus's arms. "Thanks for everything" he said, smiling at Magnus.
"Aren't you going to stay?" Magnus asked.
"You want me to stay?" Alec asked.
Magnus nodded, "Yeah, I just thought because of some things that happened in your room it might make it a bit hard to sleep."
Alec smiled, "I'll go get changed and come back in here then."
Magnus smiled, "Great, you do that."
Alec walked out of Magnus's room and into his own. He got changed quickly into a long sleeved shirt and pyjama pants. Magnus was right this room gave him the creeps. He padded down the hallway to Magnus's room with a small smile on his face. When he walked past Isabelle's room he heard her yelling at someone and soon after he heard Jace's voice yelling back at her.
Alec knocked on the door and their voices stopped.
"Who is it?" Jace called out.
Alec sighed and opened the door and saw Jace and Isabelle glaring at each other. "What are you two fighting about?" he asked, looking at his brother and sister, his small smile still on his face.
Isabelle smiled brightly, "Why didn't you tell me, Alec?" Isabelle asked, walking over to him and shoving him in the arm softly.
"Tell you what?" Alec asked.
"The real reason why you were in the hospital," Isabelle said.
Alec's smile dropped and he swallowed and looked down at the floor. He over to Jace, "You told her?" he asked.
"Yes he told me," Isabelle said, "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.
"I just… I didn't want to tell you," Alec said, knowing that she wouldn't take that as an answer.
"Oh come on Alec" Isabelle said, "Jace told me it's no big deal, I just want to hear you tell me the real reason."
Alec looked at her, "No big deal?" he asked.
Told you she wouldn't care if you tried to kill yourself, the little voice said.
Alec looked at Jace, "No big deal?" he asked his brother.
"Alec it's not like that," Jace said, he sounded like he was panicking. "I'll explain everything to you in a minute."
"Explain what?" Isabelle asked, looking at them both.
"You didn't tell her the real reason?" Alec asked Jace, calming down a bit.
"Wait what?" Isabelle asked.
"Good job Alec," Jace said, "I was trying to keep your secret you just blew it for yourself."
"I didn't mean too," Alec said.
"You mean to tell me that Alec wasn't faking a head injury to get out of school?" Isabelle said.
Jace sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Alec you're going to have to tell her."
"No I don't," Alec said, grabbing the door handle.
Isabelle walked over and grabbed Alec's wrist softly and pulled it away from the handle, "Tell the real reason why you were in the hospital Alec" Isabelle said.
"I…It's not important," Alec said, he tried to tug out of his sister's grip.
"Alec, you were in the hospital" Isabelle said, keeping a firm grip on his wrist, "Of course it's important."
Alec tried tugging his wrist out of his sister's grip again, he tugged hard and his shirt sleeve rolled up a bit. Isabelle gasped and Alec looked down and saw the cut that he had made to try to kill himself.
"What is that?" Isabelle asked.
"It's nothing," Alec answered, pulling his sleeve down.
"Did you try to kill yourself?" Isabelle asked.
Alec looked away from his sister.
"Answer me!" Isabelle yelled.
"Yes" Alec mumbled, "I tried to kill myself."
"Why did you do it?" Isabelle asked, her voice a little softy but still demanding.
"I just wanted to" Alec said, shrugging a little.
He looked up and saw that Isabelle had tears in her eyes. "You wanted to kill yourself?" she asked, "there was no reason, you just wanted to die?" she asked.
Alec nodded, he knew that she must be hurting but she really shouldn't be.
Isabelle's eyes welled up with tears, "Go away" she said, coldly.
"Isabelle, "Jace started.
"Just go," Isabelle said to Alec, "I need time to think."
Alec nodded and walked out of Isabelle's room. He trudged down the hall to Magnus's room, he wanted to cry but crying is stupid.
Isabelle hated him, he was pretty sure of that. He knew he shouldn't have kept it from her but he didn't know what to do. He knocked on Magnus's door and Magnus opened, Magnus was smiling bright and it made Alec's heart flutter.
At least someone is happy to see me, Alec thought. He put on small smile and stepped into the room.
so yeah tell me what you think about it.
-Kate.