The other one-shot. It's sort of long so beware the length then again. I should be updating.
Hope this satisfies all Orton/Cena fans. I know songfic but it's not your every songfic. It's my type of songfic, twisted, original and different because I live to be different than everyone else.
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Memory
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Since you're gone
there is an empty space
John's concentrated blue eyes have loss of hope and there's nothing left to do but walk and try to clear his head and he wants his wings back but he can't fly anymore since he has only one wing and he needs to embrace Randy to fly off into their own little world and he recalls a time when he's had two wings—and when he'd seen Randy Orton for the first time, Randy's clawed at his wings, tattered, ragged and frayed wing now and John had done the same, tattered, rage and frayed Randy's wing and now, they can't fly anymore without holding onto each other and as we hold onto each other, we're crashing and burning and falling into disaster.
John's body's pale in the moonlight and he doesn't really care that he's glowing and that he's a mortal right now as he looks into the water, cold and stirring ice, striking fire and burning condensing pain inside of him, cold and stirring and striking and burning ice, inside of him and he doesn't really know if he can feel warmth again now that Randy's skin's so cold as they embrace and they end up shivering but their touch seems eternal and comforting and filled with hurt and dismay.
John notices as Randy's skin sheds and he's a new person and he just doesn't speak and he just doesn't cry and he doesn't move much and he doesn't wrestle anymore and he's all tucked into bed and John knows that Randy doesn't want to be found and keeps telling Cody and Ted that "Randy just needs a little space" but Randy's body's filled with emptiness and John knows it that Randy doesn't need space you don't either John.
He wants to be filled.
Since you're gone
the world is not the same
John's world used to be all in sweetness and in life and away from death but now that he's entered Randy's world, all he can see is blood and disgrace and pain and hurt and John wants to leave but he can't and he knows that he can't leave with Randy right beside him, to hold him, to love him, to fix away every mistake he's ever been because John knows that with Randy, he's a better person, a stronger one, a sweeter one and John wants that feeling to remain.
That feeling of touching Randy's skin and feeling him shiver under his touch because the coldness turns into the link between them as they embrace each other and even with no words out of their mouths, they know that they want each other's hearts beating so steadily and they want to be alive and they're just waiting to be reincarnated from then nightmare that they're in and they just wait to be alive again and they just wait until they can breathe a real breath.
Randy's slipping away from him and in his place, there's a dead corpse and he's afraid of losing Randy, and he wants nothing but to save Randy from falling into the deep hole that he's in and he doesn't know if their angel wings can save them now and they don't know if they can fly anymore and they don't know if their words mean anything anymore and somewhere along those lines, John just stops asking questions sometimes and just stares into Randy's eyes because they seem to talk.
I'm gone forever.
No, Randy. I need to save you.
Are you going to save yourself?
I don't know how to save myself, baby.
If you can't take care of my heart, how are you going to save me…?
And sometimes, John would ask him questions like "how are you?" or "did you eat anything?" but he always knows the answers by looking at Randy's crushed eyes and at his now paper flesh, so thin and painful to look at, Randy barely eats and sometimes, John finds himself having to inject IV fluids inside of Randy's body and he has that day refilling into his head—the phone slips from his hand crashes on the floor Randy's eyes crash too John just can't save him and—
I want Randy back.
He's lost.
Can I find him?
He's lost in a world he can't understand…
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I go back to the places we've been
It feels like you're still there
Randy's in the hotel room and his eyes can't see and his heart can't beat and his body can't move and he's just dead and he knows it and he's like a zombie and he knows that he's just here to watch until he just can't watch anymore and he's dead on the floor and the remembers John, memories that seem so long ago, memories that he can't erase—
The park, John refusing to let go, the painting, the cold realization—the match, the hate, the love, the blurry images that always get mixed up in his head, the Miz laying on the floor, the words of pain, the nothingness that's bubbling through them—the beach, the 'X' mark, the proposal, the water, the icy coldness that doesn't escape—
Randy Orton thinks he can find himself.
But he's so lost inside of the shadows that he's created in his mind and he doesn't think that he can escape them.
Randy feels as if Randy Orton still resides inside of him, he feels as if The Legend Killer and the Viper and just plain him is still inside of him but he doesn't know how to wake from this nightmare.
I live all those moments again
wishing you were here
In his head, Randy's trying to make that perfect scene in the park, the laughter, the love, the attraction and the shadows are stopping him from smiling. He remakes the match scene in his head and he wants to feel angry but he feels so weak that he can't feel the blood boiling through him. He remakes the proposal in his head and he wants to run over to John but he just can't move from his place and he knows that he just wants John back.
Randy's lost.
And in his place is a stranger.
A stranger John hopes turns into Randy again but Randy just can't escape and John knows that and John would stick by this stranger's side just because Randy's battling to get to John.
Randy's world's just dead.
Randy's just too lost to be found.
Randy's just numb.
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Since you're gone
There is a lonely heart
John passes by the park and he sits down on the bench and he waits for Randy to come around but he won't and he feels so sleepy that he'd fall right then on the bench because of the sleepless night that he spent holding that broken boy, holding him, trying to help Randy, trying to comfort him, trying to find him but not succeeding at all and it's all so understandable but John wants to know why. He wants to know why.
John flips through Randy's phone and he knows the exact date that's Randy's entire world had crashed and burned into nothing and he sees the caller "Samantha Orton" and he grits his teeth and he just doesn't need anymore reason and he knows what's going on.
Randy wants Sam back and betrayal seeps through John's body and he shuts the phone down and he knows that he feels in pain and he wishes he could've at least said goodbye to Randy before he's faded into this stranger that he'd never seen before and—he could've said goodbye—
That's the only thing that's barreling through his head and he stays there and he sleeps on the bench and he doesn't even notice that it's freezing outside and his thoughts have always been on Randy Orton and he knows that he has to confront Randy tomorrow and he knows that now even John's world is as gray as ever.
What'd you expect, John? You know that no one can really love you. You're just a disgrace. Just a disgrace, he remembers the words so clearly that they haunt him right now. Just a disgrace, those are the words of his first girlfriend when he had turned fifteen. Just a disgrace, those are the words that he'd thought he was as he turns seventeen years old. Just a disgrace, the words that are marked in his head as he turns twenty one and he still can't maintain a relationship. Those are the words he has in his head for most of his life and he knows it.
You're just a disgrace…
Since you're gone
Nothing is like it was
Randy? Randy?! Where are you?
I'm in the darkness.
Can I help you out?
Not without getting scarred.
I don't care.
I care, John…I care…you can't be here. This world's only darkness and no light. This world's the opposite of you. I can't let you…I won't…
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There are memories all over the place
Bringing it back all so clear
Randy just knows that John won't give up those memories so easily and he knows that those moments are the best part of his life and as John walks through the doorway that morning, eyes crushed, face pale, hair dull—Randy thinks that he's looking into a mirror and he just wants to scream but this body just doesn't move anymore.
This body's all rigid and all cold and all frozen.
Randy's just watching and he knows that he can rarely move and he just wants to scream his lungs out but he just doesn't know how to open his mouth anymore, knowing about her, knowing about her lifeless body, knowing that it's his fault and knowing that he could have the same and knowing that this'll crush John more than anything.
"Randy? I need to know, babe. I need to know. What did Sam tell you? What did she tell you that day?" and John's voice's so filled with hurry and anticipation and Randy knows that John just can't take it anymore and this is his limit's reached and that the glass is falling and crashing and Randy can't do anything about it.
Randy tries to speak and he opens his mouth but the words don't flow out and he's just so dizzy from memory of that phone call and he feels acid knots in his stomach, burning his body—just let me die—
John takes the phone and calls Sam and he just wants Randy to protest but he doesn't and he just wants to know what's going on and as Sam picks up the phone, her perky voice sickens John to the stomach because he knows that she's all happy and sweet and Randy's all miserable and broken and tattered and in shatters and she doesn't give a damn.
"Sam? What the hell did you tell Randy?"
"Oh, that," she spat out the words like Randy's a possession and the venom in her voice makes acid knots in John's stomach and nausea hits him and it's all so clear and nothing's vague and he grits his teeth and disgust's over washing him and swallowing him whole.
"What he'd done to our daughter."
"That's Triple H's fault, not—"
She laughs and her laugh's so acid that it runs down John's throat and everything burns inside of John's body. "I didn't mean that! That's why I filed a divorce. I meant about the cancer."
"Alanna has cancer?" John asks and his voice's weak and he knows that hearing that makes Randy's eyes blink and his eyes want to fill with tears but his body's not letting him do anything anymore and Randy just tries to move but he doesn't know how to anymore and why should you move? No one will care. Just stay there and die for all they notice.
"Yes, apparently, it's genetic," John hates that word and fear suddenly overthrows him and terror burns rough him and horror rises up in his throat. "Genetic from your side?"
"No, Randy's. He'd done this to our daughter. He never told me about it." And the look in Randy's eyes makes John know that Randy didn't even know about it and as she hangs up the phone, John's phone slips away from him and he leans down towards Randy. "You loved Alanna."
His eyes speak for him. I love her. I still do.
"Genetic? Did you get yourself tested?"
Randy shakes his head, it's slow and almost motionless and fear overtakes him and he holds onto Randy's shoulder and he suddenly thinks of all the tattoos all over his body, all that chemicals in the needles, he could've—John's heart strikes with fear as he takes Randy in his arms, so easily and runs out of the door and he doesn't care who's staring.
Remember all of those days
wishing you were here
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(All those lonely nights)
(John, I'm so alone)
(You're just lost)
(I gotta fight for you, yes I do)
(Save me)
(I'm trying, Randy, just hold on)
(Yes I do)
(There's not much left in me)
(Then I'll give you what I have)
(Since you're gone)
(Take me away from the shadows)
(I'll cover you with mine)
(There is a heart that bleeds)
(I'm bleeding)
(I'm sorry I've cut you)
(Since you're gone)
(Find me)
(I want to get lost with you)
(I'm not the man I used to be)
(I'm scared)
(No mask can cover my face anymore)
(I follow you steps in the snow)
(The white covers my pain)
(The white covers my disgrace)
(The traces disappear)
(Nothing's left of me)
(I'll give you all of me)
(We know what we've lost when it's gone)
(I want you)
(I need you)
(I'm wishing you were here)
(Please, save me)
(Please, let me get lost in him)
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Randy lays on the hospital bed and he's asleep and the doctors tell John that the test results are coming soon but John suggests that they should keep him here and the moment that Simply Priceless know that Randy's in the hospital, they rush and they don't seem to care about anything as they stare at their weak and fragile and once strong and once a leader friend Randy Orton and no words escape Cody or Ted's mouths as they sit down and watch him sleep.
In the darkness, as Randy battles through it, he hears the same voices in his head, but they're barreling with hope and at the presence of his friends, he knows he's not falling down if he tries to fly.
But he needs John to help him fly.
He needs John to embrace him.
Body. Soul. Heart.
All one.
All those lonely nights
I gotta fight for you, yes I do
Yes I do
Whoa, that is long. 7 pages long.
Next one. 'Insanity'.
Summary: When John realizes that Randy has cancer, he goes insane.