Okay, I've been seriously neglecting this story lately, so I'm going to try to get some chapters out tonight before I have to go back to the hell that is my work tomorrow.

I'm warning you all right now, there's some sexual content in this chapter. It's lemony goodness.

On that note, I want to make sure that there wouldn't be too many loyal readers who would be put off by a couple more chapters with lemons in them. Please let me know in your reviews. I know that I will definitely be writing one for Jasper and Bella's first time together, but I don't know if I'll do any other ones as well.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Needing to Connect

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Jasper's kissing stopped and his head stilled at my chest. He slowly pulled back and looked up into my eyes. I moved my hand to caress his cheek and move the hair back that had fallen out of place behind his ear.

"Did you just say that you want to make love?" he asked me. I simply nodded my head. "With me?" What a stupid question. I nodded my head anyway. "Right now?" Another nod.

"How many more questions do you have to ask before we can actually do it?" I teased him.

Jasper seemed to shake himself out of his stupor with my teasing. "Bella, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Jasper, I want to be with you. I want to make love to you and be as close to as you as I can before it's too late," I admitted to him as he moved his body so that his face was level with mine and we were now laying on our sides facing each other.

"What do you mean?" Jasper's hand was tracing soft circles on my hip as he spoke.

"I want to know what it's like to make love to you in case I—in case I don't make it out of this fight alive," I whispered to him. "We came close today, Jazz. Victoria and Cameron could have both killed me, and you know it." Jasper started shaking his head, but I stopped him by placing my fingers on his lips. "I don't want to die not knowing what it was like to be fully with you, to be connected to you in every way possible. I want you to be the first, last, and only person I ever make love with, Jasper Whitlock."

"Bella, I will be, but we don't have to rush into this. We've only been together for a few weeks, and I don't want you to think that you have to do this because of what's going on right now. I will protect you from Victoria. There is no way that I will let her kill you, darling. None of us will," he vowed, pulling my hips against his. It wasn't a sexual move, just intimate.

"I know that you are all going to protect me the best you can, but let's be realistic for a moment, dear. Last year, I almost died by James, then Laurent came after me, and now I'm at the top of Victoria's hit list. They want me dead, and she's not going to give up very easily. She has put together a small army for the specific purpose of killing me," I explained with desperation in my voice. Why wouldn't any of them understand? "This is serious, Jasper. There's a chance that we won't all survive this, and I just want to feel close to you. You're the most important person in my world, and I want to share something special with you. Would you really deny me?"

I know that it was a low blow, but I needed to be with him. If I was going to die, I wanted to be sure that I had truly loved someone and had them love me back with everything we had. I wanted to be connected to Jasper in every way before this fight happened.

"I can never deny you anything, darling. Of course, I want to be with you, and I will if that's what you want and you're ready," Jasper agreed. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips, and I knew that there was something else to follow his words. "I won't be with you right now, though. Our family is downstairs, and we do need to return to them soon to discuss what we're going to do about Victoria."

I nodded my head and moved so that I could lay it against Jasper's shoulders. I moved my hands down to his hips again and pulled him toward me. I heard him chuckle.

"You're insatiable, darling," he said as he moved his lower half to grind against mine again. I moaned and bit my bottom lip. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt if we were to stay up here for a little while longer," he said as his hand worked its way to the clasp of my jeans, easily unsnapping and unzipping them.

I shrieked as Jasper quickly lifted me by my hips and placed me on his own so that I was straddling him. He leaned up and began his torturously slow kisses on my breasts again as I lifted my hips and let him lower my jeans from my hips and slid them down my legs. I kicked them off my feet, not caring where they went. I was now clad in only underwear while sitting atop my gorgeous, shirtless vampire boyfriend. The afternoon had started out sucking but was definitely improving.

Once my jeans were off, Jasper moved his kisses up to my neck and then farther up until he reached my mouth. Our lips and tongues dueled as his hands cupped my breasts and teased my nipples. My own hands moved to his chest, mimicking his motions. When I felt Jasper pinch my nipples between his fingers, I ground onto him harder than before and let a low moan escape my throat as my head fell back.

"God, Bella, you are so sexy right now," Jasper moaned out. His mouth found mine again and I was so lost in our kisses that I didn't notice when Jasper's hands moved lower to my hips. I heard the loud rip and looked down to see that Jasper had literally ripped my underwear off me. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he simply shrugged and smirked as he threw the pieces to the floor with the rest of our clothing.

Without warning, Jasper buried his fingers inside me. I screamed out his name and my eyes closed, lost in the sensation of his cold fingers inside my heat. The way they contradicted each other had me almost ready to cum. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Jasper's shoulders, holding our chests together. My head lay on his shoulder as I planted kisses along his neck.

As Jasper's hand started moving inside me, I responded with movements from my own hips to match each thrust he was giving me. I felt Jasper's thumb start to stroke my clit and I rode his hand harder, biting down on his shoulder to stop myself from screaming out his name again.

I managed to become coherent enough to move my hands between us and was able to push Jasper's jeans and boxers down far enough so that his erection could spring out of them. I ran my finger along the tip, spreading the small pool of venom that was already there. Obviously, our dry humping earlier had not only affected me. I began pumping Jasper's cock in my hands as his thrusting grew faster and harder.

I could hear him grown underneath me and couldn't stop myself from returning the sounds. Our mouths found each other again, battling each other as our hands worked faster to bring each other to the edge. My orgasm was growing closer and I began to moan louder against Jasper's mouth and bouncing against his hand harder, clutching his cock harder in my own hands.

"Bella, I'm so close, honey," Jasper hissed out and I squeezed his length that was pressed up against my bare stomach. "I need you to cum with me," he begged. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he curled his fingers onto my g-spot and pinched the tiny bundle of nerves at the same time as his mouth found my nipple.

The grip that I had on Jasper's cock tightened as my walls clenched around his hand. With another long stroke, he was cumming onto my stomach as I bit down hard on his shoulder, shaking with my own climax. I could feel our lust escalate, Jasper using it to make our orgasms stronger.

We both reveled in the feeling of one another, neither of us slowing our actions. I kept pumping his cock as his fingers continued to slide in and out of me. We weren't working as hard now, just enjoying the sensations. I never wanted to stop, but we were broken out of our bubble of pleasure too soon.

"If you two are done now, we really need you to get back down here so we can go over what our next move is going to be," Rosalie yelled up the steps. I heard Emmett laughing from the living room along with Alice and Cameron. I wondered if they were just as anxious for our family meeting to be over so they could get to know each other better as well.

Jasper and I both sighed as we removed our hands from each other. I moved to sit next to Jasper and looked up at him. His eyes were deep black again, and I wondered if it were just from the lust or if he were fighting bloodlust now as well.

"Do you need to go on a quick hunt before we go downstairs?" I asked him. I reached over to grab my torn underwear and used them to wipe my stomach of Jasper's release. I would definitely need to take a fast shower to get all the stickiness off my body.

Jasper turned to face me and smirked. I raised my eye, but he simply moved his hand up to his mouth and sucked my release off of his fingers slowly, enjoying the taste. "I'm good, baby. This tastes way better than blood," he said with smug smile on his face.

I laughed out loud before he stood and pulled me up with him. I pointed to our bathroom and wiggled my eyebrows at him. It was his turn to laugh as he dragged me through the door before yelling down the stairs to our family that we wouldn't be down for awhile longer. We jumped into the shower where Jasper was able to have a more direct taste of me.