I sighed- that was 2 months ago and I still hadn't had the courage to tell her how I really felt. Things had been weird ever since that day and I had a feeling they were about to get weirder.

I had been offered a new job to become a professor- the only problem was that it was in New York, the flight was tomorrow and I had yet to tell her…

Shaking my head I turned back to concentrating on the road. Driving to work took longer nowadays as the traffic was always busier.

Again I pondered how to tell her… Leo and Janet knew and had wanted to throw me a going- away party (well Janet did) but I asked them not to as I still hadn't told her yet.

It wasn't that I thought she would try and convince me to stay- I knew she'd be happy for me and encourage me to go.

And that was what was stopping me from telling her…

I didn't want her to encourage me to go- a part of me wanted her to scream and yell and shout that I couldn't go… But I knew she never would.

I also just didn't want to look in her eyes the moment she absorbed the news… I didn't want to see the pain and rejection there. Everyone leaves her and I really didn't want to.

But the opportunity was calling and I couldn't resist.

Shaking my head I hit the steering wheel with one hand- damn I was weak!

Arriving at work I walked slowly through the lobby and down the corridors wondering how many more times I would get to repeat this same mundane routine and how much I would miss it when I left.

Glancing through the window to my left and spying a head of blonde curls… How much would I miss her?

Sauntering through the door I smiled as she looked up at me and grinned. I couldn't help it. Then I remembered my task and my smile drooped. Hers did too as she watched me but I turned around as I took off my coat.

"Harry?" she asked confusedly. I flinched before turning around once again.

"What's wrong?" she said, worry and confusion in her eyes.

"Nothing," I said, faking a smile. She frowned and tilted her head, clearly disbelieving.

"Really Niks," I said. "Its fine." I desperately changed the subject, "Now what are we doing today?"

She frowned again but answered, "The Linden Walker autopsy and plenty of paperwork."

"Joy," I said smirking as she stood up and brushed past me through the door.

Later that day as we were completing the autopsy I plucked up enough courage to mention the possibility of being split to her.

"Nikki?" I asked cautiously.

"Mmm?" she replied absentmindedly as she removed her bloody gloves.

"What? Uh… I mean… Do you? Uhm."

"Harry what is it?" she laughed at my stumbling but a small crease formed between her brows.

Eventually I just spat it out. That was a mistake…

"What would you think if someone told you we had to be split?" I blurted out.

"Split?" she questioned.

"Like if I had to move jobs and work somewhere else. That we couldn't be partners anymore?" I answered carefully.

She laughed. "Why wouldn't we not be partners?" she asked smiling. "Its simple- I'd tell whoever it was that I'm moving centres with you. And that Leo's part of the package deal too. We're a team."

"Right," I said, turning so she couldn't see my expression.

"Harry?" she asked.

I didn't answer.

"Why are you asking me this? You've been funny with me for weeks now- what's wrong?"

"Noth-" I started to lie but then stopped myself and thought 'Its now or never'.

"Nikki." I said spinning round to meet her eyes.

She nodded once.

"I'm leaving."

I watched the emotions flicker in her eyes as my words registered. There was shock, disbelief, denial and finally, as she realised I was serious, pain.

"What?" she choked out.

"I got offered a job," I started emotionlessly as she looked down. "In New York."

"New York?!" she demanded, tears glittering in her eyes.

I just nodded.

"That's halfway across the bloody world Harry! Its not just another centre! Its not just a couple of hours away- its not even in the same continent!"

I opened my mouth to speak again but she cut me off.

"No! When are you leaving?"

I looked down, unable to look her in the eye. "Tomorrow," I mumbled. As expected she wasn't best pleased by this.

"TOMORROW?!" she exploded. "When were you going to tell me?! Harry!? When?! Couldn't you have found the time last week or the week before?! You must have known- you'd have had to work your notice!"

I closed my eyes as she figured it out, my head still bowed.

"Which means Leo knew! And even he didn't tell me!" She gasped audibly and her breath hitched.

She spun around and looked at the floor too. She didn't want me to see her and know she was crying.

Looking up I gently took hold of her shoulders and spun her back round to face me again. Her head was still hung so I pressed a finger beneath her chin and tilted her head up to meet my eyes.

Hers were full of tears, some unshed, some down her cheeks and couple clinging to her eyelashes.

Another fell slowly and I wiped it away gently. Her lip trembled and she attempted to speak again. All the anger had drained out of her voice and only empty sadness was left.

"Why are you leaving me Harry?"

"Oh Nikki," my heart broke slightly and I pulled her in to try and hug her but she beat her fists on my chest half heartedly trying to push me away. I overpowered her feeble attempts easily and cradled her firmly. This time her arms wound their way around my midsection and she buried her head in my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I whispered into her hair, kissing the top of her head gently. I knew after this scene was over she would be encouraging me to go and that thought hurt more than this. I knew she had been more angry that I didn't tell her than that I was leaving. And that still stung.

And sure enough she pulled back and gave me an understanding look.

"No Harry, I get it. This is an amazing opportunity and you would be stupid to turn it away."

I nodded sadly.

She continued, "I just don't understand why it took you so long to tell me."

"I couldn't find the words," I whispered. "And the time never seemed right."

I could tell she wasn't pleased with that answer but she shook the doubts away. We couldn't spend my last day arguing.

"Ok," she whispered equally as softly, still wrapped in my arms. "What times the flight tomorrow?" her voice broke at the end.

"12:15," I said softly, leaning my forehead against hers.

"Do you need help packing?" she asked, her eyes squeezed shut as she pressed her head onto mine.

"Sure," I said, desperate to spend just a little more time with her.