Okay, I may be taking this too personally or just reeling from a very uncomfortable conversation I had with my boss, but if people don't like my writing then they don't have to read it. I am not a mean person- and I hope this doesn't sound rude or disrespectful- but I write for myself and I post the story because I hope that others will enjoy it as well.

I love writing, and I will continue doing so no matter what people say/do about it, but I do not have to appreciate when others pinpoint every little mistake they believe that I'm making. So I'm only saying this: If you don't like my story, then please hit the 'BACK' button and enjoy someone else's instead. I'm not forcing anyone to read it.

Onto the next chapter. It's in JPOV, because I know that a lot of you prefer JPOV vs. BPOV. It's a little short, but I hope you like it.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty: Brotherly Bonding

I walked out the back door and found Edward sitting against one of the large trees at the end of our yard. I had known that this conversation was inevitable, and I had postponed it for long enough. Edward and I had once had one of the closest relationships in our family, and I had taken advantage of that by not being honest with him.

Do you mind if I join you? I took a seat next to him when he moved slightly to give me room. I'm sorry. Edward raised his eyebrows in my direction, and I decided to elaborate verbally to further our conversation. "For everything, Edward. I never really said it to you, and I owe you that much."

"You don't owe me anything, Jasper," my brother said, still not looking up at me.

"Yes, I do. You've always been so supportive of me, and I took advantage of that. I know that Bella and I should have told you before you had to find out about us the way you did. I can't even imagine how hurt I would feel if it were me in your position."

"Do you love her?" he asked. Surely he knew the answer to this, but I was assuming that he was just making a point.

Yes, I love Bella with all that I am.

"That's all that matters," Edward said with a simple smile on his face. He looked up at me then and gave me a teasing punch to my shoulder. "I just hate that she still has to put up with running from these crazy vampires. She's only eighteen years old; she should be off enjoying life and not having to worry about if she's going to live through the day. You were all right last year. I should have never brought her into this life."

"You love her, Edward. A person can't stay away from that," I replied. We sat in silence for a moment before I continued. "If I were strong at all, I would leave her like you did to protect her. I just feel that it's too late even if I could put myself through that. I don't think there's a way for her out of it now, and I'm sorry for that."

"Jasper, I don't think she could handle you leaving her as well," my brother said simply. I could feel the guilt coming off him in waves.

"Edward, you did what you thought was right. I understand that you were trying to protect her, and Bella knows as well. She's forgiven you."

"I know that, but I can't help think that it was the stupidest thing I could have ever done. I just left her in the woods, knowing how heart-broken she would be. I should have realized that Laurent and Victoria were still too close for comfort. If you weren't here to protect her from him…" Edward didn't finish his sentence. Neither of us could bear to think of our Bella hurt or worse.

"We can't let her in this fight, Jazz," Edward whispered low so that our family wouldn't be able to hear from inside the house. I nodded. "We have to come up with something, but she's too intelligent for her own good."

"She really is diabolical," I said, affirming Emmett's beliefs of my girlfriend. "She is just too damn stubborn to understand that her actions are only diabolical to herself. I wonder if Jake would help us distract her, or maybe tie her up and lock her away somewhere until we've defeated Victoria and her gang."

"He might. But I think if we were to tie her up and lock her away that you would be spending eternity in the doghouse, brother," Edward teased me. I unconsciously teased me. It would be pure torment to be kept out of Bella's bed now that I knew what I would be missing.

"You're right. I definitely don't want that," I replied. I didn't elaborate with Edward as I normally did with Emmett. I didn't want to rub salt in the wound. "Can you sneak away tonight to speak with him?"

"I will. I'll take Alice with me, too. She thinks if she were to learn more about the wolves that she would be able to find a way to look past them in her visions," he said. Edward stood with ease from the ground, and I followed him. "How are you going to distract her?"

I snapped my head to look at Edward and saw him cringe before I could stop myself from thinking of Bella lying naked underneath me. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"I should have known," Edward replied in his own whisper. "You don't have to be sorry, Jasper. It's normal for you to do those things with Bella. You're in a loving relationship," he reasoned.

I don't know if he was reasoning for my benefit or his own. I knew that Edward and Bella had never gone farther than some heated kissing and touching. He had always been too worried that he wouldn't be able to control himself with her. I had been worried as well, but I was not strong enough to keep my hands off Bella.

"What's it like?" I heard him ask. If I weren't a vampire, I wouldn't have known he said anything. "To be with her like that, I mean."

"Well, we haven't made love yet," I answered. I was trying with determination to block my thoughts from becoming too detailed. "But what we have done has been amazing. I love Bella, and it's wonderful to be able to express that to her, to just be close to her with no barriers between us."

"Aren't you scared, though?" I knew that he wasn't referring to the actual experience but to the repercussions that could happen with it.

"I'm terrified, little brother," I answered honestly, "but I cannot refuse her. I'm not as strong as you are in that department."

"You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for, Jasper. I know that I'm partially to blame for that." He hung his head, feeling ashamed of his prior words and actions toward me.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, Edward. I don't blame you for being protective of her. And I hope that she'll understand why we're going to do what we are now," I stated. "She's being far too dangerous and not thinking of the consequences."

"She did the same thing last year when she ran off to meet with James. I thought I was going to have a heart attack if I hadn't known better," he said, lost in his memories. "I was thinking of a hundred possible scenarios as I was running to catch up to her, and they all ended the same way. I don't want this to come to that, Jasper."

"Same here." I paused as we both started walking toward the house. "We won't lose her," I vowed. Edward only nodded.