Hey all. Here is the next chapter for your enjoyment! (And it took less than two weeks too! Hurray!) But anyway hope you all like it!
Once again a huge thanks to Terpsichore! She always manages to get the chapter back quickly even though she is super busy! She is a genius! And thanks to all my reviewers! I love hearing from you guys and I really do try to take your suggestions into consideration while writing the chapters. If enough people say they want more of a certain character or whatever I try to oblige. So thanks for letting me know what you all think!
Oh and happy Memorial Day!
Chapter 61: Reality Check
Listening to the quiet of the sleeping Opera House around her, Brielle lay awake in her own bed for the first time in over a week. The muffled footfalls of members of the cleaning staff drifted in through the filter of her closed door, allowing her to catch snippets of complaints and laughter as the women passed by on their way to the next floor to be scrubbed. For a moment Brielle felt slightly out of place. In the short time she had stayed below ground with Erik she had become used to the eerie silence of the cellars. The sounds of life all around her now seemed odd, as if she were waking from a dream and found herself suddenly thrust back into the real world.
Taking a breath, Brielle tried to put aside her unease. How strange it is. Who would have thought that I would become so used to the quiet of that place in so short a time. When I was there it was strange, the lack of noise, but now that I am back it feels strange for exactly the opposite reason. Or perhaps…perhaps I feel so odd because he is not here. I have gotten so used to his presence that to be without him feels as if I am not quite myself.
Earlier that evening she had sat up and waited for Erik to appear through the mirror but after an hour passed she had given up. Never in her life had she found herself waiting for a man before, and the fact that she was doing it now both troubled and delighted her. But in the end she had been left feeling rather foolish for he had not come and she had wrestled Aria to bed alone.
The pressure of a small hand fisting in the back of her nightgown brought her out of her musings, causing a slight smile to sketch across her face as she turned her head slightly to peer through the dark at the small mound in the blankets next to her. When night had fallen hours ago, Aria had loudly insisted upon sharing the bed with her long-lost mother, and Brielle had been so starved for the comfort of the child's presence that she had not objected. And now the very sound of Aria's breathing was a balm to her worries, softening the uncertainty of the future, and cushioning the vague unease that had been plaguing her in the hours since the confrontation with Christine.
Though the encounter with the vicomtesse had certainly gone much better than she may have predicted, Brielle was left reeling from the whole experience. It was like the first disorientating moments after awaking from a deep sleep. She would have thought that Christine acting like an adult for once would have put her at ease, but it didn't. In fact, Christine's dramatic exit had instilled within her a certain sense of dread, a fear that she couldn't explain. Stop it, Bri… you are being overdramatic. Christine finally let him go. Be happy with that. And be happy that he has let her go too. There is nothing else to it. Be happy… There are more important things to worry about…like what is going to happen next. That is far more important…because it is so uncertain.
Closing her eyes, Brielle made another attempt to sleep, but found her mind too full of the day's happenings to rest. Grimacing, she turned over and reached out across the mattress until her hand found the warmth of the small body resting next to hers. Aria stirred at her touch but did not wake. Resting a cheek on the back of one hand, Brielle lay still, picking out Aria's face in the dark. Stop worrying…there is nothing more perfect than holding your babe in your arms.
Without realizing it, Brielle's eyelids began to grow heavy, closing finally when she could keep them open no longer. Her worries drifted away with her conscious thoughts as sleep pulled her determinedly into its soothing embrace. Snuggling her face further into the cushion of the pillow, she sighed and drew in the clean soapy smell of her daughter's dark hair. Just as she was about to give in to the blissful warmth awaiting her just beyond the ethereal curtain between reality and dreams, she heard a metallic snick somewhere in the darkness behind her.
For a moment her foggy mind couldn't process the out-of-place noise and so she ignored it, smiling absently into the pillow's cotton sham. But then the barely audible sound of the large pane of glass sliding to the side whispered through the room, catching Brielle's attention before she could slip fully into sleep. Her eyebrows drew into a frown as she turned her head from the pillow, listening. Unexpectedly something in the very atmosphere changed then, becoming charged like the air right before a summer storm. The fine hairs along the nape of her neck stood up in response, sending her whole body to thrumming with the energy suddenly crackling through every inch of the room. She didn't have to open her eyes to know what had drawn her from unconsciousness.
Lying still, she listened to Erik carefully slide the glass shut behind him, obviously taking great pains to deaden the whir of the mechanisms when he stopped just short of clicking it back into its latch. Sighing contentedly, Brielle waited for him to cross to her, every inch of her skin coming alive with the knowledge that his eyes might be upon her, but as she held her breath in waiting, no other sound met her expectant ears. The room fell back into the deep, echoing silence of the night.
Blowing out a breath from under her covers Brielle yawned. "Erik, for the love of God, stop standing there," she mumbled against her hand, her own sleepy voice sounding oddly loud in the still air.
A slight stirring of the air was all that signaled Erik's approach, the sound of his footsteps lost in the practiced ease of his movements. "How did you know I was there?" he asked quietly, from somewhere near the foot of the bed.
"Heard you," she replied shortly, not wanting to lose the contented fuzziness of her near-sleep state.
"Damn it." The curse cut through the quiet like a star falling through the sky. "I did not intend to wake you."
"Uh-huh… Well a thousand shames upon you for doing so," she teased half-heartedly, never minding the fact that one of the reasons sleep had evaded her in the first place was because he hadn't been there. "Why are you still just standing about for?"
A small irritated grunt sounded a little bit closer to the edge of the bed as Erik drew closer. "As I said, I did not want to disturb you and Aria. I remember how difficult it was to get her to sleep…I didn't want to add to the…"
Raising a hand out from under the covers, Brielle waved it blindly in the air until her fingers brushed the bottom edge of his coat hem. Grabbing hold of the material, she gave it a yank. "Did it ever enter your head that you could have helped in my labors?" His silence was answer enough to her. Evidently the thought hadn't occurred to him. Sighing, Brielle tightened her grip upon his coattails, pulling upon the material until he was forced to take a step closer. "Are you going to stay then?" she asked with another yawn.
The stiffness in his posture relaxed slightly at the question, as if he had just been waiting for her to ask it. His fingers brushed over the closed fist on his clothing and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I suppose I could," he whispered, pitching his voice lower until it barely carried across the small distance to Brielle's ears.
Cracking one eye open, Brielle wrinkled her nose up at him. "Your enthusiasm is shocking." Folding his hands in his lap he sat with his back to her. The white of his mask stood out starkly in the darkness, giving him the coolness of a graveyard statue, as he stared down at the floor. He remained quiet for several minutes, clasping and unclasping his hands, as he struggled with something Brielle couldn't quite name.
"I did not mean to sound…well…as you said, unenthusiastic…it is just that…" Stopping there, he spread his hands out as he searched for what to say. Opening both her eyes, Brielle looked up at him with a certain level of concern. It was not often that Erik had trouble expressing himself. Normally his articulation was of the highest and most refined degree.
"When I left you here earlier, I do not think I fully comprehended that when I went back to the cellars that I would be going back alone. Of course, at certain levels I knew this, but I was not prepared for the realities of it. I tied off the boat at the docks and went about my normal daily activities, but…it was difficult to concentrate. The silence was…unbearable. But it wasn't just the quiet. I could feel my isolation in every fiber of my being and the very stone seemed to press in upon me. That has never happened before."
Turning his head around to look down at her, he paused for a moment. "And suddenly what had happened between us seemed a dream. Like it never happened."
"Then why did you stay away?"
"I do not know. Maybe I became so caught up in it that I actually feared it had been a phantom memory, a manifestation of a mind gone mad."
Reaching out, Brielle laid her hand upon his thigh. It was odd to her that he had just described exactly the same feelings she had been experiencing all day long. She felt terribly foolish for still being so uncertain around him. Erik, at least, had a better excuse for not trusting the new aspects of their relationship. The foundations of his life had been built around mistrust of others and vicious self reliance. It only made perfect sense that he should find it difficult. Her only reason for not trusting in him was the fear of pain she had carried with her ever since John died. She feared the pain he could bring down upon her, whether it was intentionally or unintentionally done.
Giving his leg a squeeze, Brielle closed her eyes again. "It wasn't a dream, Erik."
"Yes, I think I am beginning to believe that."
"Will you be staying tonight?" Brielle ventured to ask after a moment's pause.
Erik shifted upon the edge of the bed and his teeth flashed briefly through the dark in a smile. "I do not think I would have come unless the answer was yes."
"Well, come on then. All this chatting is sure to be waking Aria eventually."
Nodding in understanding, Erik stood and looked about the room slowly. Practically seeing where his mind was going, Brielle jumped in. "Take your shoes off at least before you climb in," she said, pushing the blankets back invitingly on the right side of the bed.
Erik stopped pondering the other bed in the room and merely went about doing as she asked. Pulling off his coat and vest he folded the clothing carefully and set them upon the small wooden table in the middle of the room. Stepping out of his shoes he crossed to the bed and climbed in. Moving over to accommodate his size, Brielle gently rearranged Aria's sleeping body to curl in front of her as Erik settled at her back. The fit was a bit tight in the double bed but not uncomfortable and Brielle suddenly found herself blessing her luck in securing the non standard mattress when she was promoted to Carlotta's fortune teller.
His arm came around her waist as his sigh sounded close to her ear. "That is better," he mumbled so quietly she was sure he was talking mostly to himself.
Closing her eyes Brielle smiled, her mind settling down into a level of contentment she hadn't felt all day. The feel of Erik's body next to her was a comfort to the troubles circling within her head. Wrapped in his warmth, she found herself slipping easily into sleep.
The sound of a sharp metallic clicking burst through the emptiness of unconsciousness causing Brielle to open her eyes. Staring at an unfamiliar plaster wall in front of her, she struggled to orient herself. Sitting up, she looked around at her surroundings with a vague frown wrinkling her brow. She was not in her room any longer but in a large open warehouse piled high with large unmarked barrels. Completely confused by this, she stood and turned in a circle but could see no one else on the landing where she was. What in the world…
From the corners of her eyes, she caught sight of a light flickering to life from behind a stack of large empty crates. Going to the metal railing, she opened her mouth to call out but shut it again when a familiar masculine voice drifted through the dusty air to where she stood. Her heart leapt into her throat as she listened to Andrew coldly discussing something with another person. Falling back to press against the wall behind her, Brielle raised a hand to her mouth in order to keep from making the horrified sounds rising up the back of her throat from escaping her lips, hoping all the while that Andrew hadn't somehow heard her there. Standing flat against the wall, a dark sense of dread turned her blood cold, and right before her, the large room took on an ominous character, gaping open below her like the mouth of grave. Her vision began to gray about the edges as she sank down to the floor. This isn't right. Andrew cannot be here…Conner heard him saying he was off to England. And I can't be here. I am in my room…I am safe…this is just a bad dream. Wake up…wake up.
Opening her eyes with a start, Brielle jolted awake, her whole body stiffening as she blinked up at the stone ceiling of her room. It took her several moments to realize where she was, the images of her dream still fogging her brain. Erik stirred next to her and asked what was wrong, but his voice sounded far away over the din of her thumping heart and ragged breathing. The feel of his warm hand upon her face brought her fully back to herself. Bringing her gaze down from the ceiling she met the worried looks of both Aria and Erik.
Raising a hand to her cheek, she let out a relieved breath. "Did I wake you both up? I am sorry." Noticing then with a start that the entire room was lit brightly, she gaped at the lit gas lamps in the walls. "When did those get turned on…"
Cocking her head to the side, Aria stuck her thumb into her mouth, shooting her mother a serious look. "M-Momma you were s-shouting," she mumbled around her thumb.
"What?"
Taking hold of Brielle's shoulder, Erik brought her attention around to him. "And thrashing about. What in the world were you dreaming about?"
Opening her mouth to respond, Brielle closed it again when the answer didn't come. In the short time she had been awake, the memory of what had happened dissolved back into the farthest recesses of her mind. An embarrassed flush worked its way up her face as she looked back and forth between Erik and Aria. "You know…I cannot remember. I knew a moment ago, but now…"
Aria began to tug insistently at her mother's sleeve, distracting her from her mental search. Shakily Brielle reached up and patted the child on her cheek. "Shh, love, Momma is trying to think," she implored softly, feeling the memory of the dream slip even further out of her reach, though the terror stayed close to her wildly beating heart.
Crossing his arms across his chest, Erik stood a few feet from the bed, his widely braced feet and stoic expression clear indications of his unease. When Brielle raised her wide, dazed eyes to him she caught him studying her with an intensity so fierce she was sure his eyes could cut through lead. Attempting a smile to set him at ease, she found her pale attempt only seemed to aggravate him even more. Stirring from his statue-like posture, Erik reached around Brielle and plucked the four-year-old from the bed, settling her on his hip, and giving Brielle some much-needed air as he made a circuit of the room.
Lowering her feet over the edge of the bed, she smoothed her tangled hair over her shoulder. "Lord a-mighty, I am so sorry for waking you both," Brielle said, beginning to feel rather foolish now that the grips of the dream were loosening. My word…what a fuss. This is so embarrassing. I just HAD to have a nightmare on his first night here. It was just a nightmare. And yet, with the thought still fresh in her mind, she felt that it was a lie. It didn't feel like a nightmare. That is why the sweat still clung clammily across her back.
Bouncing along in Erik's arms, Aria took her thumb out of her mouth with a loud sucking sound. "T-That is all right. N-Now we can all p-play!" Aria squealed happily, waving one hand over her head as she turned to grin at where Brielle still sat upon the bed.
"You are as pale as those sheets you are sitting on," Erik accused over his shoulder, doggedly ignoring Brielle's attempt at distraction.
Shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly, Brielle continued to brush her fingers through her loose hair, careful to avoid eye contact for fear he would see the uncertainty in her gaze. Stop it, Bri…it was just a nightmare. You can tell these things by now. Do not overcomplicate. Nothing bad is going to happen…not when things are just now beginning to work out. No…I will not even contemplate the alternative. It was a nightmare and that is final. Put it from your mind.
"No, no…I am fine," Brielle assured quickly. "I just need to regain my composure. It was just a nightmare after all. Just need to catch my breath."
Erik made a thoroughly unconvinced grunt at that as he turned and set Aria on the ground, his movements so natural that Brielle marveled at his ease with her child. It made her heart stir at the sight. "Are you sure it was a nightmare and that it wasn't…"
Standing a little too quickly, Brielle interrupted him before he could finish. "No…no…because that would mean something bad is on the way. No…it was a nightmare."
"If you say so," Erik allowed slowly, and after another moment spent frowning across the room at her, he turned and opened the wardrobe doors, and leaning forward, he began rooting through the clothing within. Brielle watched in growing outrage as a shower of petticoats tumbled out of the wardrobe and landed at Erik's feet.
"What are you doing?" Brielle huffed, coming around the table to stand next to where Erik was pulling a dove gray cotton dress from her wardrobe. Without answering her he handed her the dress, then pulled out one of Aria's. "What are you doing?" she asked again as she bent to push the mound of petticoats back into the closet.
"You said you needed to catch your breath," Erik replied as he spun around and went to where his coat and vest were folded upon the table, leaving his mess behind without a second glance.
"Yes, but what does that have to do with you mucking about in my clothes? You made a mess!"
Shrugging into his waistcoat he straightened his collar as he shot a glance back at the wardrobe. "No, I didn't. Everything looks fine to me."
Waving the dress he had handed her about in the air, Brielle didn't notice as Aria slipped the other one from her hand. "That is because I already cleaned it up!"
Tilting his head to the side ever so slightly, Erik flashed her a heart-stopping smile that made her insides turn to water, and suddenly Brielle couldn't have cared less about the mess. "Are you going to get dressed then?" he asked innocently, shooting his cuffs with deft jerk.
"Absolutely not. It is the middle of the night."
"Everyone is awake."
"That is beside the point. We should be sleeping."
"Really? I find that a midnight stroll can be very refreshing. The Opera is at its best during the night."
"No…no. I am not going to go traipsing around in the middle of the night. I am going to go right back to bed." Lord, the things that go through his head. Even though I know I won't be able to sleep for hours still…
"Well, I suppose Aria and I will have to go and get some air on our own then," he said breezily as he ushered the child toward the door. Feeling as if she were losing her mind, Brielle noticed that sometime in the last few minutes, Aria had managed to dress herself and put on her shoes. Skipping happily before him, Aria trailed the ribbons that she hadn't been able to tie into a bow.
Giving in to the apparent insanity that was running rampant through the room, Brielle turned on her heel and stalked behind a changing screen. Grumbling the whole time, she pulled on the dress Erik had handed her and then stepped out from behind the screen. Slipping on a pair of shoes, she captured Aria long enough to do up her bow. Straightening with her hands planted on her hips, she gave Erik a weighty look, forgetting for the moment to worry about her dream and what it might mean for her future.
"All right, lead away."
"Your enthusiasm is shocking," he said dryly, repeating her words from earlier that evening back to her.
She opened her mouth to reply but found that a smile was pulling annoyingly at the corners of her lips. It was at that moment that it dawned on her why he was pestering her so. Ach, the sneak! This whole time I thought he was just in an annoying mood but he is just trying to get my mind off that blasted dream. Lord, now I feel foolish for rising so easily for his baiting.
Taking Aria's hand in hers, Brielle forced herself to relax and humor Erik's roundabout attempt at easing her mind. "No, no. I am serious now." Narrowing his eyes at her, Erik turned slowly and headed to the mirror. Opening the passage, he waited on the threshold until Brielle and Aria came up beside him. Tilting her head back to look up at him as she passed, Brielle could just make out the faintest signs of worry tightening Erik's expression.
"What, no more smart remarks?"
Pursing her lips, Brielle shook her head. "No, I am fresh out."
"Then follow me," he muttered, rolling his eyes as he reached out and took Brielle's hand in his.
The mirror closed behind their small group then, casting them into darkness. Stabilized by Erik's grip upon her hand, Brielle didn't experience the usual disorientation she felt in the Opera's back passages. She had a moment to worry about how Aria would handle the dimness of the corridors but the child soon put them to rest as she began skipping along behind her. The terrain under their feet began to rise as Erik led them up a winding incline. Baffled as to where they might be going, Brielle tried to go over the vague knowledge of the passage's layout but soon found the task beyond her. So it came as a surprise when Erik abruptly came to a stop in front of her.
Aria let out a squeal that had Brielle flinching, for all she knew they were right beside the ballet dormitories, but Erik didn't seem concerned by the child's noise. "Where are we?" Brielle asked quietly.
"Somewhere rarely visited…even by those who have lived within the Opera all their lives."
"Is it a m-magic place?" Aria whispered earnestly as she wove her way past her mother to stand directly behind Erik.
There was a soft click as Erik opened a small door. His smile limned with the shaft of light coming through the new opening, he turned to look down at Aria. "Yes, I suppose it has its own sort of magic." Pushing open the door, he stepped out into the room beyond.
Aria hopped over the threshold without any proper sign of reservation and Brielle quickly followed, genuinely curious now as to where Erik had led them. At first the dimness of the room blocked any impressions other than the vague sense of immense size spreading out around her, but as Brielle's eyes adjusted, she began to pick out the area's oddities. No furniture decorated the space, giving it a feeling of emptiness, but upon closer inspection the reason behind this lack of decoration became clear.
Ropes and chains, thick as a human calf, twisted up out of the floor near the center of the room, spreading out over the ceiling in a cobweb of pulleys and knots that boggled the mind. Her mouth gaping open at the unusual sight, Brielle wandered under the intricately woven canopy as her daughter twirled nearby. "What is this place," Brielle breathed as she raised a hand up to run along a nearby rope where it was anchored against the wall.
"This is the chandelier repair room," came the soft reply from somewhere to her left. "The ropes you see are what anchor the chandelier in place. When there is a problem with the gas lines or if a crystal goes missing, the maintenance crews can actually raise the chandelier into this room for easier access during repairs. Not many people know that."
He made a subtle clucking sound in the back of his throat just as the gas lights along the wall hissed to life, their glow brightening the room enough that Brielle could now see where Erik stood against the far wall. One after another the frosted glass globes lit up as the gas made its way through the pipes around the room. A tiered shelf holding rows upon rows of spare chandelier crystals burst into thousands of diamond-like sparkles, casting dots of rainbow colored light over the floor and walls nearby. Aria clapped her hands together in delight at the dancing spectacle and Brielle found herself mimicking the awed action.
"It is beautiful…who would have thought such a place was hidden up here! It seems so peaceful…"
Dropping his hand from the switch on the wall, Erik casually studied the ropes above him, his eyes narrowed in thought and dark in the new light. "Yes, I thought you would like it," he stated simply, his voice taking on a slightly worried tone as he watched Aria playing amongst the dancing lights.
"M-Momma, I was right!" Aria laughed as she tried to chase one of the rainbows. "It is m-magic. L-Look at all the f-fairy lights!"
A gentle warmth slowly began to fill the leaden pit in Brielle's abdomen that the nightmare had left behind, bringing her the final relief from the fears plaguing her mind. Sighing deeply, she made her way across the room to where Erik still stood against the wall. He glanced at her briefly and then away as she reached out to take his hand in hers. "I am glad you brought us here."
Nodding in reply, his one visible brow drew down into a slight frown. "Perhaps I should not have."
"What do you mean? What better place would there be to forget a nightmare in?"
"The last time I was here was the night I unhooked the chains and sent the chandelier crashing into the audience," he replied curtly, the worried creases on his forehead deepening into a brooding scowl. "I did not think it would be a problem, but…now it seems entirely inappropriate."
"Erik…" Brielle began, sensing the darkness of his mood thickening by the second.
"Of course I had it planned out so that it would crash into the stage, but still…the last time I stood here I had murder on the mind." Across the room Aria stopped her antics and glanced over at them, looking terribly worried as she watched Erik pull away from her mother's hand.
"Erik."
"But then again almost everywhere in this place is inappropriate," he whispered so softly Brielle wondered if he knew he spoke aloud. "I was fooling myself to think otherwise. This place will always be a museum of my past, displaying my crimes for you to see for the rest of my damned life. They are like ghosts now…the memories here. Haunting every inch of this place. The only solution would be to escape but…but I know I cannot."
"Erik, stop it! What has gotten into you?"
Shaken out of his thoughts, he turned to look at her, the darkness fading from his expression, leaving him seeming shaken and terribly sad. "Nothing…I was just thinking." Clearing his throat, he stepped away from the wall. "But I think it is time our little adventure came to an end. You were right…midnight really isn't the best time for a walk."
Before she could formulate a suitable answer, Erik started off across the floor toward where the secret door still stood open, leaving both Brielle and Aria to follow after him. Deflated now from her earlier sense of elation, Brielle went and collected her daughter, who had also grown suddenly quiet. Hurrying to catch up to the masked man, she crossed the floor and was right behind him in moments, following him through the doorway and into the darkness beyond.
Perhaps this is what my dream was about. Warning that things would not be going too smoothly. What in the world could have caused such a sudden change? It couldn't be just this room that bothered him so. He mentioned that the Opera is inappropriate…is he still brooding over the fact that I refused to stay down in the cellars with him? I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but I just could not agree to it. I could never be happy in such a place…surrounded by stone and darkness all the time. It would be like living in a tomb. Blast it all! Sometimes I wish I could peer into that man's skull and see what in the world he is thinking!
Fat chance I will be getting any sleep now. If my hair weren't already white I swear that man would turn me silver in the blink of an eye!