"Kid, you must be delusional. There's no way that the princess would tell a kid to head up Death Mountain. You know that boulders rain from the sky and spiders leap from the cliffs. And there are dodongos, which dislike smoke." The guard nodded as if his words were filled with sagely wisdom. Navi decided to intervene, swirling up to face him.
"What the hell does 'dodongo dislike smoke' mean? I mean, I think I know what a dodongo is, but what does smoke have to do with any of it?" The guard shrugged, scratching at his helmet.
"I heard it from an old man once. Anyway, I still can't let you through this gate without proof from the royal family. And that song doesn't count." Navi's light started to tinge red in anger.
"But that's the song of the royal family! How else can we prove that Zelda sent us?" The guard shrugged again, returning to his post.
"Sorry, but I can't let you through. If you have a letter or something, I would believe you." Navi began to return to her normal coloring, and she slammed herself against Link's forehead. As he rubbed it, she prodded his cheek with her finger.
"The letter, Link! The one that Zelda gave you!" He looked at his fairy, confused. Navi sighed, dove into his pocket, and shoved the heavy letter up towards his hand. Link smiled at the guard, fishing the letter out and handing it to him. The guard slowly read over it, paling as he got to the bottom of the note. Clearing his throat, he shoved it in his pocket and bowed.
Navi was smirking at the obviously flustered man. It always felt good to beat down someone's confidence. Sure, it was a little twisted, but the man had been a jerk. "So sorry, sir. I, uh, will open the gate for you now." As the gate creaked open, he bowed again.
"There, was that so hard? Come on, Link, let's get out of here!" As they began to move forward, the guard stepped in front of them. Navi began to glow red again. Obviously she was getting ticked off. "Didn't you see the letter? Let us by, dodongo boy!" She swooped forward, slipping past him while he blocked Link's way.
He had his hands clasped together, spear clenched tightly in his fingers. "Sir, if you're returning to the Castle, can you do me a favor? I want you to bring me a mask from the Happy Mask Shop. It looks like a fox. Please, I'll pay you back in full and then some!" At this Navi zoomed back over to him, bouncing up and down in front of the guard's face.
"Woah woah woah, why would we do you a favor? You gave us a hard time and- Wait, Link. Why are you nodding? Stop it!" Link was indeed nodding, his eyes filling with determination. Navi let out a moan, wings buzzing at an even faster pace. She couldn't believe he had just volunteered himself for something so stupid. The fairy would beat the crap out of him when she got the chance.
The guard clapped excitedly, bowing over and over again. "Thank you, kind sir. My son will be ecstatic! And to no thanks of that fairy of your's." He sniffed, moving aside again, "Good luck, boy. You'll need it." Navi humphed, pulling at Link's hair and forcing him forward.
"We don't need luck! We have a sword, a shield, and... um... some decent skills... I'm still wondering why the princess didn't send someone else, but oh well. Hey, a spider!" At her words the giant beast leaped off its perch, landing right next to Link. It hissed, enraged that it had missed. Navi let out a shrill 'Hey!', turning yellow and swirling around the spider. Link aimed at the fairy, and she shifted out of the way, allowing the sword to strike the spider.
It let out a wail, stumbling to the side and tipping itself over. It curled up, shrieking in pain as it rolled around. Finally it stilled, letting out one final shudder. Navi returned to Link's side, sitting on top of his head. "Well, that was easy. That, on the other hand, might be harder to avoid." She had turned herself, keeping her voice even as she pointed up the path. Link, still trying to catch his breath from the fight before, looked in the direction she was sitting in and let out a wail.
A giant boulder was hurdling towards them, and Navi launched herself off of his head, watching as he got violently flung to the side. The fairy giggled a bit, returning to her former spot. "Hey, you could have been turned into a spot on this mountain. Be grateful for that." The boulder suddenly twisted, rolling back slowly. Even Navi looked puzzled, and she pulled at his hair, "It's going slower, so maybe we can out run it. But what is it?"
The fact that not even Navi knew what they were up against disturbed Link, and he found himself running faster than he ever had before. Finally the boulder-creature stopped chasing, allowing itself roll back down towards Kakariko. Link leaned against another, stationary boulder, trying to catch his breath. It suddenly shifted, and he yelped, drawing his sword. It rolled itself out, revealing a humanoid form hidden within the rock. Navi suddenly started laughing.
"They're Goron! How could I forget about them!" The Goron looked at them both, black pebble eyes narrowing as he observed them. Finally he began to clap, grinning.
"Some villagers? It's been so long! Come quickly; Darunia has been waiting for you!" He made to take a step forward, then grunted, collasping to his rear. He panted, looking up apologetically. Navi twitched.
"Aren't you going to take us...?" The Goron shook his head, grunting.
"I'm too hungry to escort you, but if you just follow the path you'll find the entrance to our city. If any of my brothers question you, say that Moroka sent you to see Darunia. They won't even doubt you after that. Go with my blessings, villager." With that he collapsed back into his rock form, leaving the pair puzzled.
"Well... I guess we should head up the mountain then...?" As Navi started up herself, Link kicked the Goron to see how it would react. When it didn't, he frowned, running up after his fairy. There was no way he was going to be accused of murdering one of the rock men.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
One trip up the mountain avoiding Goron later, Link and Navi reached the city entrance. To their relief, the Goron there remained stationary, either hiding in their rock forms or standing around moaning about their hunger. Only one seemed immune to the misery that plagued the race, whizzing through the city at breakneck speed, challenging those around him to stop him. "I think later we should try. Just because that's pretty annoying."
For once Link agreed with her.
They made their way down to the lowest level, where bombs grew like flowers and the Goron seemed a bit less friendly. Some gave him annoyed looks, while others screamed at him to not touch their food. Even after Navi tried to explain that they didn't even eat rocks, they continued to babble about saving their children.
Navi decided that the Goron village just barely topped Castle Town in strangeness. "Obviously something went wrong with them. Come on, let's hurry up!" As they continued to descend, the Goron only got stranger and stranger, some clicking their tongues in distaste while others merely stared.
When they finally reached the bottom they were greeted by a door with the Tri-force symbol on it. The Goron next to it smiled weakly at Link, nodding towards it. "If you're the messenger, use the song." It curled up again, leaving Link and Navi to ponder over its words. After a few minutes of Link not getting the message, Navi wapped him on the head, then positioned herself next to the ocarina.
"Um, Zelda's Lullaby, Link. What other song would he be talking about?" As Link played the ocarina, she hissed to herself, "Always stuck with the idiots. Couldn't have a smart charge for once, could I?"
The door creaked open, revealing a dark, dank room. Navi flew forward, leaving Link to follow her. Sitting on a mat meditating was a strange looking Goron. He had a beard growing from his chin, and spiked white rock resembling hair sprouted from his head. His left eye creaked open, and he grinned, suddenly hopping up. Link took a step back, but Navi stood her ground. Banging his fists against his chest, the Goron bowed. "You must be the messenger of the royal family! I've been waiting..." He suddenly snapped back up, eying Link up and down, "You're only a child!"
"We get that a lot. Look, Zelda sent us to get the Sacred Stone of Fire. If you could just politely hand it over..." The Goron laughed, leaping up.
"Play me a song!" The request startled the both of them, and Navi slowly approached the large Goron, watching him closely.
"What gives you the right to ask us to do something like that?" He chuckled, banging his hands against his chest again.
"I am Darunia, king of the Goron. I want to hear something from a forest... yes... that would be nice... Play me a good song and I will give you a task to retrieve the Sacred Stone." Navi placed herself next to Link's ear and began to whisper into it.
"Play Saria's Song. If that's not foresty enough for him, he's smoked too many Deku Nuts." Link nodded, taking out and ocarina and beginning to play Saria's Song. The Goron king tapped his foot to the beat, and as Link finished began to dance. He was chortling, dancing with more intensity as his laughs grew louder as well.
"Told you he was smoking something." As he finished he was still laughing, lifting up his arms and yelling to the heavens. He sobered, still giggling before regaining his composure. Soon his old frown was sitting upon his face, and he began to blink again.
"Yes, the Sacred Stone... I have quite a task ready for you..."
A/N: I just... really wasn't feeling it. Hopefully the Dodongo Caverns will be better off. Hope you all liked the original Legend of Zelda reference in there!
Not much to say except that there were a lot of typos in the last chapter xD; Sorry about that, but I didn't have Word installed on the computer I was using.
As always, reviews are very much loved!