And the plot twists. All over again.
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Gray
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The air's thin with coldness.
The place's elegant.
All that John can do is nod his head at the chapel that they're using and then looks back at Randy who also nods his head and they seal the deal and as Randy looks around, admiring the beauty of the place, John can only chuckle and a smirking Randy looks back at him and takes off his hat, running his hand through John's hair in affection and love.
"Ted and Cody will love this," Randy says, looking over the place once more.
"Ted? Cody?" John repeats in confusion and Randy simply nods his head and John shakes his head and looks back down and how he hates the final print of his and Mike's bet. 'Secretly married'.
"I'm inviting my boys, of course," Randy explains, looking back at John now that he's basically memorized the place in his head. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?" his voice's over the edge at the question and his eyes harden and all John can do is step back slightly because he doesn't want this to go into a match and especially in this place.
"I do have a problem with that," John responds, blinking harshly. "Why do they always have to be with you? Can't this just be me and you?"
"You're joking, right?" Randy asks and his face's plastered with confusion hidden by the rage that's filling him and John only has hidden sorrow behind his mask as they stare at each other. "You're joking, right?" Randy repeats the question, harder, colder, with an edge and it's like they're enemies all over again.
"No." John replies and his voice's with the same edge and his eyes are as hard as Randy's are and Randy only clutches his hands into fists as they stare.
"Damn. You," Randy says and his voice's so angry that his words are in a whisper and they barely go out of his mouth. He starts to walk away but then stops in his position and looks over his shoulder to have a dark smirk on his face, "and you do break everything, Cena. You just broke our future."
John just glares harshly and then nods his head. "And you lose everything, don't you? Well, then you just lost me."
Randy walks out without another word and his body moves steadily and as John looks back, he shakes his head and suddenly, the rage is still there but he doesn't know why and as he walks out after ten minutes, making sure that Randy's gone, he goes in circles, just walking around aimlessly without anyone seeing him you messed this up real bad, Cena.
He knows that he's messed it up and as he tries to keep a little rage linger in him, he can't and now he's left with emptiness and he knows that he breaks everything and as he looks down at the sidewalk, he knows that he's that little boy who always breaks glassy things and he swears that he could see the glass in Randy's eyes shatter into nothing and he's bleeding and John's just watching and—and—
"This is not my fault. This is his." His voice can't be filled with anger and the fake anger that's supposed to be in his voice is so weak that even he can tell what's under his mask and as John runs his hand through his hair, he realizes that Randy has his hat and as John hides behind the building next to him, he presses his body against the building and he finally lets the stinging tears fall down his face, hot and sticky.
It's twenty two years of love, patience, resistance, pain, agony, horror, friendship, tragedy, that's leaving his eyes right now and his body soaks it up like it's nothing and as he slides down, curling into a ball, knowing that no one's really there to see him break so hard.
"I break everything…" he tells himself, looking up into the gray sky and it's not even hiding its grief you're the one who's always hiding, bitch.
"Even my own self…"
John lays his head to his shoulder, trying to find a blue particle in the all gray sky but he can't and he knows what's gray for. Blurry lines. Grief. A mixture of pure and black, darkness and he's falling into that pure darkness that he's looking at and he knows that he's lost his white, his Randy, and now, he's just all black without him, all falling into himself you don't have a heart to be locked up in, Cena.
"John Cena…you are pathetic…"
He finds white clouds and black blurry lines in the sky, never really together, just pushing away and he bites his lip because the last thing he wants is to push away from Randy Orton and there's now nothing left but a need for Ben and Jerry's ice cream and listening to the same Evanescence music all over again to try and mend his broken heart but he's always been a heartbreaker and he knows that he can't keep it mended can you ever stop breaking? Look at Legacy. I think they're your biggest mess yet.
"So, Mr. Big Shot, what you gonna do now?" he asks himself, his voice's shaky and no emotion is hidden ever again and he's just left all alone right here, hiding his emotions from everyone and that's all it's ever been for ten year old John Cena that no one ever likes and no one will ever like.
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Randy looks down at Ted and Cody. His boys. Together, they are Legacy and he doesn't know what'll happen if one of them leaves this place and as his boys sleep, all lost into their dreams, all Randy Orton fears is more and more nightmares as he sinks down onto his bed and pulls the sheet over his body and he looks around and everything's so very dark.
And he needs John around.
His 'ORTON' boxers are laid down at the floor, ripped by Cody's dog and he reminds himself to shout at Cody for that and as he flips to the other side, he sees pictures, too many pictures, ripped ones of superstars they hated, John Cena were one of them and now, he is one of them, and as Randy stands up, taking a black marker from the drawer beside him and just by the label that says "property of John Cena", he feels like he's going to go insane.
He walks over to the John Cena poster, and with a shaky hand, he draws an 'X' towards his chest and then looks down at the floor, messy with packets of chips and Ted's t-shirts and tabloids, he looks back up at the picture to realizes that the smeared marker can be erased you break and break, Cena.
His hand's still shaky when he brings it towards the beginning of the page and he can't take it anymore as he drops the pen from his hand and breaks down into tears and he bites his lower quivering lip and he knows that John's words are as true as ever.
"I lose everything…"
And as he looks down at the pen, not knowing where it disappeared through the clothing, he tries to shuffle his sobs even if he knows that Ted and Cody, if asleep, are had to wake up. He digs his hand through it and he tries to find the pen in the messy pile of clothes and chips and he's happy to find the pen but his smile fades when he realizes that the pen's label which is supposed to say "property of John Cena" has "Cena" only know and looking for the rest, he finds the dry label on the floor, refusing to stick back.
He rummages through his drawer, the hand holding the marker still shaking and as he takes out a label, trying to fix it, he places the label with his shaking and lies down on his bed, feeling as if he can't complete this task and as he pulls out a pen, wanting to write the first part of the sentence, he writes "Randy".
"Randy Cena".
And he falls asleep with the pen close to his heart.
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I just love this chapter.
I think it's because of the Randy John angst both at once. It's refreshing.
Next one? 'Fortitude'.
Summary: When John sees Randy with Ted and Cody, does he have the courage to say a simple 'hello'? And what's this crazy shadow following them both?