Well…um…the chapter. :P What? I like saying stuff.
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Fortitude
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It's around six in the morning.
The doctor holds onto Randy's forehead and Cody and Ted are close by, standing there oh so rigidly as the doctor steps back and nods his head, telling Randy to open his mouth as the man examines it, Cody and Ted hope for the best as Randy slinks down and try to stop his head from spinning and spinning and spinning but he can't and the room's all dazed and he takes a breath so that he can know that he's alive and not dead.
Randy just feels all dead inside out and he wants to fall asleep and he feels as if the world's dazing in and out, up and down, through and through and he takes another deep breath, and clutching onto his pillow and Cody and Ted lean down towards him, 'hey, Ran, you heard what he said?" Ted asks and there's glee in his voice and Randy's relieved as Ted continues. "You have an 80 percent chance of being okay."
Randy's eyes slowly peel open in shock and he smiles softly at them but his thoughts then flash to John Cena and he shakes his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts of that beautiful, perfect man and his heart crushes into nothing and suddenly, the news of his probable survival makes Randy even more miserable.
He wants John and he doesn't say it and he doesn't want Ted and Cody to think that they're nothing compared to John Cena so he doesn't say a word as they take him towards Costa Coffee for a nice breakfast as celebration and while Ted and Cody discuss on if they've seen anything from Derek's group, and even with good news filling the air, Randy can't help but look outside for John Cena.
He whips his head around.
You really do lose everything, Orton.
He's tired of losing everyone.
But he takes what he can get anyways.
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John Cena's having a horrible day.
He walks down the street with his hands in his pockets, ripped jeans and tired bloodshot eyes that haven't seen sleep in what seems like forever, he feels like he's going to throw up because acid's always in his throat and keeping up his mask is too difficult because the grief and guilt is too overwhelming, knowing that he still has no friends and he's broken a person he loved—yes, loved.
He just wants it to go back that way again.
It's the same way it's always been though, Cena. Why is it so hard?
Because he had to go through his day with haunted memories.
Of Randy's soft lips touching his.
Of the twinkle that shines in Randy's eyes when he's smiling.
Of the way his mask just disappears when Randy's around.
He's ten year old John he's broken John he's sweet John he's just John Cena when he's around him and not that hero that everyone sees, just a normal human being, blue eyes and brown hair and pale flesh that can feel pain and wanted happiness and pursued love and life.
He stops when he sees Randy pressed to the window with coffee runs down his mouth, trickling down and Randy's just so lifeless that he doesn't really care about it and he's just sinking into his miserable life and hollow body and his hollow eyes and pink lips are just so beautiful from where he sees them.
John blinks and feels as if the tears are stinging him but he doesn't cry and he's just staring at the pieces of his past, broken and dulled, stained with his past's blood and he walks towards the halfway open window and looks at him, breathing on Randy's neck but when he feels as if Randy knows that he's there, he ducts down as Randy's head twists and he shrugs his shoulders, seeing nothing.
Randy feels as if he's seeing things as Ted and Cody notice Randy's depression, Cody speaks up before Ted. "Are you okay, Randy?"
Randy looks at Cody's face, and every time he does, he's afraid that something will happen to him since Ted still his head bandaged and he just doesn't want Cody to be hurt as well and he doesn't know if he'll see them later on or if they'll be dead or if he'll be dead—these days, they find themselves saying "goodbye" and "hello" so many times.
Just because every second, every minute they breathe, they can die in.
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John walks away, feeling as if he's failed. He wants to say "hello", just one hello can spark up his confidence but his confidence is shattered and he doesn't feel like he can after he's said those words to Randy, after he's broken Randy so hard that the pieces are too small to put back together and every time Randy tries to clean up his own mess, he just gets hurt, more and more.
So much for fortitude.
He stops when he feels as if something's following him and when he looks down, there's a shadow there, and he suddenly feels a shiver up and down his spine from coldness of the presence of a body being so close to him.
Coldness.
Burns inside of him.
He turns around and there's nothing there.
Before he's being pushed to the wall, and there are those two hard eyes staring at him as John's mouth slowly parts but the scent…
Oh God…
The scent…
He falls unconscious.
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Randy lies down onto his bed and looks around to find Ted on the couch, stretched out as always and Cody's half asleep half awake and he sleeps for about two hours, wakes up for two, sleeps for one, and wakes up for four, but currently, he's asleep for a little while and now, Randy's just wide awake and his eyes are looking around and he feels as if someone's here.
Presence.
He stands up and looks around.
Fear.
And he feels two hands wrap around him, gripping tight and Randy feels as if his life's being squeezed out of him as he faints from what feels as if dizziness is burning through his head fear's all around.
oh...so what do you think will happen?
you know there'll be a ton of torture.
;) Sam