From Rose Fortress (I love her...)

Dear Kiku-kun,

It's a pleasure to hear from you too, especially since I don't get to see you as often as I'd like.

I don't think Francis is _that_ bad; I've discussed philosophy with him on occasion and he's actually an amiable fellow when he doesn't have perverted thoughts in mind. (We're just friends, don't worry; I haven't had sex with him for a long time now.) But if he ever does sexually harass you, I'm sure he'd only live as long as it takes you to get to your katana. I've seen you when you get mad, and you'd terrify even Russia in that state (Sadiq agrees with me on this, as loath as I am to admit it).

And if he somehow lives even after that, I'll make sure to finish the job for you. My cats aren't _declawed_, after all...

I'm glad to hear that. Sadiq told me that I look like a homeless slob because I don't bother to try straightening my hair (that device you gave me didn't work, unfortunately) or wear something fancy every once in a while, you see. Of course, I should have known better than to listen to that masked bastard; _he_ wears that hideously gaudy red-gold getup that'd blind people from twenty feet away, as if he's trying to show off how cool he _thinks_ he is when he just looks like someone who's desperate for recognition he isn't getting. Too bad, Sadiq; you're not getting into the EU anytime soon!

Ahem. Sorry about that. I know you want me to try getting along better with him, but it's so very hard, especially when he tries "protecting" you from me. At least I know you'd never call _him_ cute in that ridiculous getup of his. (Right?)

I understand that your culture's very different from mine. I don't mind people seeing us together because I sort of like having them know you're with me, but if it makes you uncomfortable, I'll do my best to keep things private.

You're hardly the only one who can feel these two's sexual tension radiating throughout the room; sometimes it's so thick that it disturbs my sleep. Part of me suspects they've done it already and are just making their fights even louder to cover it up. (I wonder how England would react if he was shown all the fanfic about him and America on here...?)

You did, and it was a good joke too. *smiles*

...Cat toys? I'll have to speed up the paperwork over here, then. Since you're working on your openness, I'll work on overcoming my laziness in return. You do a better job than anyone else at motivating me to get things done, and I hope you keep on with that job. *winks*

Love,

Greece

P.S. What scares you so much about cockroaches? They do have a tendency to pop up in the most unexpected places, but they're easily squashable so they don't seem like much of a threat to me...

Dear Heracles-kun,

I agree, this is an issue that needs to be immediately addressed. Get to work and finish those papers.

...

That doesn't change the fact you actually had sex with him... Do you have any idea where his... um... "wanker"(learned this from Arthur-san!) has been? I'm almost positive it's been shoved into just about every possible ditch and gutter. Even I can't begin to fathom as to how the thing hasn't fallen off his waist due to rot. Please take a thorough shower... that rat is full of disease. But as you said, vermin are easily removed by the steel of my sword. And I wasn't that angry. Still, it was quite the rush! My blood was boiling. There was even a puff of frustration! Quite the achievement, I think.

I don't think even your cats deserve to be wasted on him. I mean... really. He's too indecent. You are too at times, and while it does irk me at times, you are certainly more lovable. And not a rapist, let's not forget that as well.

Ignore Sadiq-san, please... You are...um... perfect the way you are... don't l-let him tell you otherwise...B-But anyways, you say the device didn't work? Shimata... I'll get to work on a new one. I think he looks nice... His old attire from the Ottoman Turks was certainly interesting as well... But... I suppose you don't really want to talk about him, do you? G-Gomennasai! Forgive me Heracles-kun, I do not wish to bring up unpleasant subjects with you...

Um... well... maybe not cute... but, certainly interesting... Gomennasai once more, Heracles-kun! You are... cuter of course. (Why do I have such a hard time with this? It always just flows out in bed—WAIT. No one read that...)

Am I frustrating to you, Heracles-kun? I always pester you about showing affection in public. I don't know how you support me sometimes, to be honest. Even with the slightest touch, I turn beet red and slap your hand away. When I write it out, I sound like a monster! Please forgive me! And forgive me for apologizing so much! Kuso... I keep doing it. GOMENNASAI. –bows profusely-

Baka... –slaps cheek- Ochitsuku...

With the way Arthur-san stutters around Alfred-san every time they talk during meetings, something tells me they have. I am very good at reading the atmosphere, and the atmosphere that surrounds Arthur-san practically screams (forgive me for saying this), "FUCK ME NOW!" Alfred-san seems slightly too happy to oblige... Again, people have no shame and do everything in public.

Arthur-san would be disgusted by the writing on here, of course. Then he would proceed by promptly reading everything his eyes can digest the second everyone leaves. It'll go something along the lines of, "Those bloody gits, trying to write me and that Yankee in bed... Bloody bull shit, is what...what it...is... Wow this bloody fucking good. I didn't know Alfred was that flexible... IS THAT ME AND THE FRENCH FROG! NO! TO BLOODY HELL WITH THIS!" Then he would throw his computer out the window and ask me to make him a new one. The future, it has just been told.

I feel accomplished now. As Alfred-san likes to say, "Lolz, that wuz awesome."

Itai... My IQ... I felt it again! It dropped! What should I do!

Yoi, get to work then. I will go right now and cook for you. I'll let the door open to let the cats in, since I know you love them so. They are all so fluffly... –gets distracted and pets cats- So... kawaii...

Honda Kiku
-Japan/Nihon

P.S. I abhor cockroaches. One of them scurried under my bed last night... I still haven't gone to sleep. –head slams on computer-

Shimata: shit
Kuso: shit/fuck
Gomennasai: I'm sorry
Baka: Idiot
Ochitsuku: Calm down
Itai: Ouch
Yoi: good
Kawaii: cute

ME AND ROSE SHIP THESE TWO LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW. EVERYONE WILL BOW DOWN TO THE GREAT PAIRING THAT IS GIRIPANNNNNNN! Right Rose? Myess. Reviews and letters, plox!