There was absolute silence in the castle as the morning dawned upon them; the light flittered across the done, eventually casting itself upon the sleeping face of a beautiful redhead. Her eyes flickered, slowly opening, before closing against the bright morning sunlight.
Eventually she wiped her eyes with her hands, and propped herself up in bed, and was horrified at what she saw before her. Sitting on the end of her bed, looking as beautiful as she ever had, was her best friend. Her dead best friend.
"What the fuck!" Lily gasped, jumping out of her bed in panic, she looked around, waiting for someone to pop out and scream 'surprise'. "I've gone made, I've gone freaking mad."
"He loves you, y'know," she sounded exactly the same, like nothing had changed, but Lily knew that everything had changed. "I always knew it, but he was nice to me, I think he did really care for me when we were together, I know he did actually… But you are always going to be the one."
Lily stared, just stared… She opened her mouth to say something, and closed it again. She rubbed her eyes, and rubbed them again… Nothing she did would make the image go away.
"I'm real, Lily," She said sounding amused as she eyed her friend, who still seemed in a state of shock. "Thank you for looking after James, I should have gone to him, but he's far too lost… You are falling apart at the seams, I figured I should visit you before you break and tell you to be strong; you need to be strong… You need to be strong for James, he's broken Lily, and it's up to you now to fix him."
"You can't be here, Becca, you're dead!" Lily exclaimed suddenly, pointing at her friend. "You died; I was with you when you died! How are you here?"
"I need to be here, you and James you're falling… James is about to be gone, and you aren't far off Lily, everyone thinks you're coping but your not, and I know that," Becca replied breezily, she smiled at Lily, she looked sad though. "You know what you have to do Lily; you have to be there for him."
Lily was in a daze as she settled into the sofa; the image of her friend would not disappear. In fact currently as she was in the armchair, the image of Becca was happily perched on the arm, looking happy as she hummed to herself.
"You're gonna have to do something soon y'know, it's not like either of you can continue the way you have been," Becca said pointedly, as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger, rolling her eyes at her friend.
Lily pointedly ignored her dead friend as she continued to read the latest issue of Witch Weekly.
"Lily, he's gonna die."
Lily finally looked at her old friend, and saw the sadness in her big blue eyes, tears welling in them as she looked at the redhead, there was such a sense of sincerity in her face as she spoke, regret in the words.
"He needs you, because if this is how it continues Lily, he'll kill himself," Becca told her; there was softness in the way she spoke, and care and consideration in her words. It had always been there when she spoke to James, she had always cared for him, worried when he went off another dangerous spree with his friends of utter madness, it was something so familiar, so warm and tender, it was hard to believe it was coming from a ghost.
"What do you mean?" Lily questioned, slowly placing the magazine down on the table, sitting up as she paid full attention to the being before her. Lily knew that not even her own tired and scared mind could make this up, something bigger was going on here, and Lily had to believe and listen to her old friend.
"You haven't got long Lily, he hasn't got long… I've wasted so much time… Lily you haven't got long at all."
"Sirius!" Lily called as she fell through the portrait hole, she was wearing her thin and small black strapped top, and a pair of holey old chequered pyjama bottoms, she was a state to look at, pale with her hair pulled back messily, Sirius noted she looked tired too. "Where's James?"
"I kinda thought he might be with you…" Sirius answered eyeing up Lily as her eyes widened, she had never been able to hold back her emotion, even if they were misled, and he could instantly see it in her face. Fear. "What's happened?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I need to find James, have you got your map?" She wasn't supposed to know about the map, not really, but when James had told Becca, she had instantly told her best friend. Sirius didn't even bother to wonder about how she knew about it, however, he threw himself over the back of the sofa he was sat in and disappeared in a run up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.
Within a minute or two he was stood by Lily as they poured over the map, they scoured the pages, attempting furiously to find the small label they were looking for.
"This is useless," Lily sighed frustrated just minutes later when they had not found him, she pushed the map aside and walked back and fourth in the common room. "Where did he and Becca spend time, just think Sirius, where did James used to take Becca?"
"The astronomy tower…" Sirius answered, slightly awkwardly, everyone knew why couples went there, and it wasn't for star gazing.
"But… Why would he go there… he hasn't got long…" Sirius looked perplexed as Lily murmured to herself, she froze as she rethought what Becca had said to her, the words floating through her mind, and she froze. Panic flooded through her veins, horrible realisation hit her like a kick to the chest.
She turned and sprinted out of the room, tore up the stairs, screaming with frustration when students wouldn't move fast enough, it still seemed to take a lifetime for her to reach the point she needed.
Skidding into the astronomy room, she looked around the ceiling the door was pushed open, she clambered hurriedly up the stairs, unable to breathe or think and he was there.
Balancing on the edge, standing under the beaming sun, almost blinding, she neared his form, a shadow against the bright golden light. His cloak was discarded, his hair ruffled slightly by the gentle breeze, his was breathing steadily, seemingly so calm.
"I did love her, y'know," He spoke so calmly, his voice so even, it was terrifying.
"Please James, will you come down?" Lily asked carefully, she reached her hand up to his and grasped it as he stood on the wall, the one designed to stop people falling. She closed her eyes praying for something to help her. "James, it's Lily, will you please step down?"
He looked away from the golden sun at last and looked at her, she saw for the first time his reddened eyes beneath his glasses, tears streaking down his cheeks, he was shaking slightly, but seemed to peaceful.
"I love her, and it's my fault she died."
It happened so slow, it was almost as if it wasn't happening at all, just a mere dream or nightmare. Her breathing stopped as his knees bent, it was just a single instant from being her absolute worst nightmare. Worse than that, this was something she could have never of brought herself to think.
She grabbed him around the legs, before he could propel himself forward, her desperation making her move so fast she had barely registered what she had done, even as she pulled him back. They landed, a mass of limbs against the hard stone, both shaking with emotion as they lay there, James' crumpled body on top of Lily as she continued to hold onto him.
"Don't you do that to me, don't you ever think about doing that to me." Lily whispered, her voice high and panicked and angry all at the same time, she was breathless and dizzy, and her heart thudded painfully within her chest as she refused to let him go. "I lost her, I can't loose you too. Please James, I'm begging you, don't ever do that to me again."
"She's gone, and it's all my fault, I don't deserve to be here…" His voice pathetic as he tried to excuse his actions, as he tried to defend himself, but Lily didn't want to hear that.
"Just promise me never again," Lily whispered still holding onto him for dear life, terrified that at any point he would leave her, like he had been so close to doing.
"I want to, so much, but it only makes it all so more real, she died because I love you, and that promise, it makes it more real…"
He was shaking and crying, his words bubbling, he seemed so different from the young carefree lad he had been, but so fragile, like he was scared of the truth.
"I know James… I know."
It must have been ages that they remained in that crumpled position on the cold stone floor of the astronomy tower, the light faded and the darkness engulfed them, even to the point that they were unable to see each other, the cool night breeze danced across their skin as they stayed in place, so frightened of the truth sinking in… They had killed her, but it wasn't their fault at the same time.
"I liked the darkness… It felt like she wasn't gone, I just couldn't see her, that it was ok, but it got lonely… I got scared, I don't know… it just meant it was real, but then the darkness never went away, I couldn't get it to go away, it was night time all the time."
His voice was frightened, like he was going to loose himself to it and Lily found herself stroking his hair, her grip on him loosening, feeling more confident as the black sky turned navy and violet, and then an orange glow rising above the forest, only just visible.
"But the sun still rises James, see, the sun always rises, you don't have to be scared of the dark anymore… She wouldn't want that, I don't want that. There's light…"