Dying
Randy doesn't know how John's persuaded him to go to the fair.
He hates fairs and John knows that but John still persuades him in some way that Randy can't remember and as they walk around, looking back to see Cody holding his crutches but looking around for something as Ted holds onto his side, making sure that Cody doesn't fall and Miz's usual hyper and happy mood is plastered with pain and sadness, no words coming out of his lips as he walks off and splits with them before he can say another word, knowing that if he's in trouble, he can call just any one of them.
Randy sighs.
"Want me to go get some cotton candy?"
John's trying to lighten the mood that Randy seems to have darkened but there seems to be no way out of the darkness as John kisses Randy ever so lightly on his lips and walks off, returning with a stick of cotton candy, and biting through the sugar. He gives Randy the stick after the bite, "you want any?"
Randy just stares at him, too sad to answer. Too pained by the words of his soon to be death. "No."
"Come on, Ran, turn that frown upside down."
The emotionless of Randy's face makes John drop the candy from his hand and walk towards him, hugging him, kissing Randy's cheek and feeling him shake in John's embrace, scared, completely and utterly scared makes John feel just as fearful for his Randy's death and he can't do anything about it.
Then just watch him suffer.
Unfair.
Just not fair.
Why is this happening to me, John?
I don't know, Randy. I don't know…
Why is this happening to us, John?
Just wasn't meant to be.
I hate this. I hate all of this!
Randy…
Every breath John takes just reminds him of Randy.
God, Randy…
"Hello, would you sign me my picture?"
A little boy holds up a photo of the Miz and Miz smiles; it's rare to find fans of him, and now, seeing the green eyed child smile happily at him, he takes the photo from him and leans down to take the blue pen, letting it hit against the paper. He fakes a wider smile as he gives the paper to the child.
"I haven't seen you in Raw for a long time, Mizzy."
Mizzy.
His smile drops. His thoughts of John Morrison clouding his head as he stands up and tries not to break into tears, "yes…well, I had very important things to do."
"John Morrison hasn't been in Smackdown for a long time, too."
"He's gone away."
"Is he coming back?"
Miz's lip twitches. "No."
"Is he happy?"
Miz's eyes gleam to a shade of pure blue, "I just hope so."
"Do you miss him?"
"Yes, he's my best friend."
"Then you should be happy if he's happy, right?"
I can't.
Miz nods his head and tells the child that he has to go and he runs towards the bathroom and falls to the floor and just cries, sobbing and crying and he doesn't care about who might walk in. It's just too painful.
"Johnny…please…come back…"
He clutches onto his aching stomach, letting his hair drench with sweat and he wants to hold onto John's body even one more time before he's gone away forever because that's all he needs, isn't it?
"John…please…"
"I want to go on a roller coaster, Teddy!"
For the tenth time, after complaining, Ted finally twists his head and shakes his head. "No."
"But Ted—"
"No. I'm scared for you, Coddles."
Cody's eyes are breaking and he presses his head towards Ted's chest and he loses his balance and falls down. "Ow, Teddy! Please, help me!"
Ted helps him up, feeling hurt, as he wipes away Cody's tears, "I just don't want you to get hurt. I love you."
"I love you, too, Teddy."
And their lips lock into a warm kiss, both of their bodies pressing against each other, Ted's hand in Cody's hair and they move away when they hear the Miz screaming, "get a room!"
Both of them twist to see Miz's tear stained face.
"Miz?"
"I'm fine." Miz sniffs and in a whisper, he says those words…
"John's fine."
"Here!"
John pushes a huge teddy bear towards Randy's chest, making Randy hold onto the oversized bear and he stares into John's gleeful eyes and he can't help but give off a sad smile which makes John's smile fade as he pulls Randy to him, both of their bodies pressing against each other. "Hey…" John whispers.
"Why am I so messed up, John? Why can't I feel happy?"
Randy presses his head towards John's chest, sobbing terribly, and John's lips press towards Randy's cheek, both of them just fit together.
"Her name is Alanna," he runs his hand through the bear's short hair.
"Who says that his name is Alanna?" John asks, arching an eyebrow.
"His name is Randy."
"His name is John."
"Randy."
"John."
"Randy."
"John."
At the cab, Randy argues one more time before yawning and John, oblivious, repeats the name John again but when he looks down towards his shoulder, he sees Randy there, drooling and with a hand gripping onto the white teddy bear as he kisses Randy's forehead. "Goodnight, Ran…"
I'm dying on the inside without you.
I just love you…or do I? I don't know what love is…I'm sorry…