Yea I know that it has been a while since I last updated, but at least you get something, and I promise to those of you who are following this story, I promise I'll try to update sooner next time! Many thanks to all those who have reviewed, they've all been very nice and sweet reviews. Also thank you for all the alerts and favorites
The Edwad and Bella
I ended up having to stay in Forks for much longer than I had originally planned. There had been complications back in England, the Order had launched a large attack on my followers and it was not yet safe for me to return. The only safe house in the area was the home of John Morton, a powerful dark wizard who resided in the forest of Forks, Washington. I had been with him when I had gotten the news of the attack and Morton had excitedly allowed me to stay with him.
He was a very tall and muscular man with dark skin and a stupid grin permanently plastered on his face. John is also what you would call…. a dumb ass. On closer inspection of his mind through occlumency, I discovered that his idiocy went even further than I had first imagined. He believed himself the most powerful wizard in the world, his powers surpassing even mine. His hobbies were cooking, knitting, and antiquing. ANTIQUING.
The first morning at the house he insisted that I come upstairs for breakfast. I hexed him countless times but he persisted and I had no choice but to eventually give in. After I sat down, he placed a plate in front of me that contained a pancake, two eggs, and bacon. It took me a moment to realize that the eggs and the bacon formed a magical blinking smile. I glared up at John with a look that should have caused him to poop his pants and maybe even commit suicide, but he was just standing there, arms crossed with a stupid fucking look on his smug face.
"Eat it. You'll looovve it," he spoke in the sing song voice of the retarded. With another glare I sent the plate flying at his face and stomped back down stairs. There was no more magical food after that, but John still encouraged me to do crafts with him and join him on his stupid errands. Normally I wouldn't go with him, but John had a special power. Anyone near enough to him could never be found with any type of magic. So I always had to be within a quarter of a miles distance from him. So I was forced to go out shopping eating and ANTIQUING with him on a daily basis. I'm not even talking about magical object antiquing. It was full on MUGGLE ANTIQUING.
When it was safe again I was so going to murder the bastard.
Today John is dragging me along to a wedding. John has a muggle car that we use to drive the short distance to a large house in the forest. John always insists on listening to muggle music when we go anywhere and right now the channel is Radio Disney, a channel full of the most insufferable music that I have ever known.
John stops the car, swings his head over to look at me and lets one of his annoying sighs. It's a tell tale sign that he's about to say something. Something incredibly stupid.
"Voldy old pal, we have to be really careful here. I know that this looks like a normal house and everything, but it isn't. It's full of deadly, deadly creatures called vampires. They could kill the both of us in seconds if they wanted to. So just be careful. Don't cause any problems, okay?" he says the last part with a bright white smile and a wink.
I glare at him, sigh loudly and step out of the car. Even if the vampires around here were a threat, I am invisible to everyone but John at the moment. Too bad John doesn't realize that and to everyone around him at the party he'll seem to be talking to the air.
John gets out of the car and starts briskly walking to catch up with me, as I have already started gliding towards the mansion. He jabbers into my ear about how a vampire is marrying a human girl and how there will be 'kick ass' food after the wedding. I ignore him like I so often do and John gets a few funny looks; after all he is wearing traditional wizard robes styled much like the ones in England and seemingly talking to himself. From what I hear John is practically the town fool. He walks around town, into the stores and diners wearing wizard robes and at times waving a wooden stick around. They say he gotten worse in the past months; apparently he's been talking to himself.
Inside the home I am hit with the overwhelming smell of flowers and perfume. Everywhere in bowls all around the place there are flowers. Flowers everywhere. As my mood goes down all the flowers in the large room shrivel up and die. I see the pixie vampire in the corner of the room talking to a group of guests. Her face darkens as she realizes all the flowers in the room have died. She excuses herself from the guests and in minutes all of the bowls are filled with fake, plastic flowers.
In time John and I are sitting down in chairs facing the alter. Flyers are passed out down the rows of people. Congratulations Edwad and Bella!
Yes. Congratulations EDWAD and Bella! That's quite the typo right there. I think I'll actually start calling him Edwad… it just seems… right. Right now Edwad is standing at the head of the room in front of the alter. The music starts playing and everyone stands and looks toward the staircase where I expect Bella will be making her grand entrance soon.
Seconds, and then minutes pass and still there is no Bella. Edwad is starting to look relieved, like he might actually get out of his impending marriage, but then Bella appears at the top of the stairs. I'm honestly surprised that the Edwad doesn't dissolve into tears right then and there.
Bella mumbles out to the room, "I, um, I got lost in the uhhhmmmmm, bathroom." Others might think she's just nervous, but really, that's just how she talks. Bella stumbles towards the beginning of the thirty or so steps of stairs. She tangled her five inch heels into the long white dress that she's wearing. There's hope for the little Edwad yet! Maybe he'll get lucky and she'll stumble to her broken death at the bottom of the stairs. But there's no luck for the Edwad, not today. Bella manages to make it to the bottom of the steps without breaking a single bone. But I see that she has managed to break Edwad's heart.
The Edwad is looking strained and close to tears at the front of the room. At one point he tries to make a run for it, but he is held back by his two brothers and he gives up. Bella misses the whole scene because she is too busy smirking her stupid, dipshit smirk at the floor.
The wedding passes slowly, there are a few more escape attempts by the Edwad and one by Bella who says she has to go to the bathroom 'really bad.' During the vows, Bella states that she would love only one man, unless she was allowed to love two men and could she do that because that would be 'totally coolness,' at which point Edwad bangs his head against the alter and has to be reprimanded by the priest. Edwad craps out some pretty half assed vows and Bella beams like he's offered her a lifetime supply of shoes.
They are married, and everyone is happy; everyone but Edwad.
When everyone has gone into the next room for the reception, I am left in the room with the Edwad, who is sitting in one of the chairs at the front of the room and appears to be praying quietly. Time to have some fun with an old friend. I sneak up behind him and whisper to him in my creepiest voice, "Congratulations…. Edwad."