Heh. Update. 8D

Sport

The blow is quick. He doesn't even remember why Reggie would hit him but then the reason hits him hard, the surreal act of him telling Reggie that he is just too fat to be on the team even if Reggie's clearly anorexic and Reggie's hands allowing the baseball bat to fall as he starts crying silently. The hit of the bat to Randy's face is strong and sensual and just there. It's really happened. His skin feels like it's pulsing pain and his stomach feels like it's condensing. He doesn't even know why he's called Reggie fat but a certain bolt goes off into his brain and he suddenly finds himself just saying things to gain the power.

The power is delicious. It's everything he wants to taste – and he just wants more of it, all the time. He doesn't care though. It doesn't matter though. He has to push most of his thoughts away and just think of other things – and he does. Until Reggie picks up his bat and hits him again. "Listen to me!" Reggie's face is swollen red and Randy wonders why he's called him fat again, seeing his shoulder bones basically peek out from underneath his thin sweater.

"What's going on here?"

"Coach, he called me fat."

"Reggie—"his eyes are still scanning Reggie's body, as if just realizing right then how malnourished Reggie actually is. The coach stares back at Randy, whose been hit twice and the effects show, his flesh is swollen and a streak of blood is pulsing near his cheek. It's only a bit but the throbbing of the aftermath still burns. The coach tells them both to go sit down and just as Randy's about to turn around, he bumps into another body.

His first instinct is to scream and yell and find something to interrogate him with but he realizes that that person he's been staring at is none other than John Cena.

John stares at Randy and Randy stares back but there are no words coming out of each other's lips. The confusion that's still fresh into Randy's mind, this person…this only person that he can't really interrogate. He watches as Randy steps aside and John just has a really lucid image of him and Randy in a shipwreck and Randy's this…person in pure white, innocent – in a mess that John's created.

I break everything I touch.

So beautiful.

"Hi, John."

It's so casual it's shocking. Randy doesn't even acknowledge that there is anything they've called as 'rape' or 'confusion', just as if two friends meeting up after a long period of time which shocks John to the point. "Hey, Ran." John responds, playing up to the image in Randy's mind.

"Do you…" John blinks, not knowing what to say before getting a text from Mike that he's going out for lunch. John smiles at him, "do you want to go out to eat? For lunch? And…how about that cut on your face?"

Randy touches it as if it's insignificant and stares back at him. John doesn't know why there are short periods of silence between them but there is and it drowns him into just thinking about things he doesn't want to think about. "Hey, how about I take you back home and we can eat something home-cooked?"

Randy doesn't even tell John that his Mother's angry at him for touching him and he doesn't say anything as he walks alongside of John, staring at him. The twelve year old is anything but okay, John concludes. His calmness is just a sign of him not being able to take it well in John's head. John takes a sharp inhale and tries to focus on lunch but he just can't.

There's just something about the way Randy's acting that he doesn't like.

At all.

When he's in John's house, he feels like he's in a surreal world and in a surreal place and he doesn't know what else to do rather than just sit down and face the music. He's sitting down and Carol Cena walks in, with a shocked expression on his face. "Er…he's joining us for…"

"Lunch," Randy says carelessly. His eyes fixated upon the table's design. The blue and green crisscross of the cover ties the room together. It looks very home-y and sweet, despite the fact that the boy who grows up sitting near this table had raped him. It's still a shock to his brain. He doesn't feel like a normal 12 year old boy and he doubts he'll ever really feel normal but this façade…it helps.

"Oh, okay…"

She dabs mashed potatoes, tuna and a piece of bread for Randy, alongside a multitude of vegetables and the first thing he notices about Jonathon Anthony Cena is that he doesn't finish all of his food. He doesn't even finish half of it. He looks guilty for eating and he looks guilty for trying to force down half the plate of food in front of him. The second thing he notices is that he sits just right at the dinner table. His Father comes inside of the room, and stares at Randy.

Carol looks shaken and the only thing that Randy could deduce from the situation is that John doesn't know that Randy's been raped by him. Johnny Fabulous moves towards them and smiles. "So, this is Randy Orton, huh?"

The boy whose life I ruined the boy who I raped the boy that deserves so much better than just sitting here in this house of horrors…

"Yes." Carol says, still looking pale.

You've got all the right to look shocked, Mother Dearest. It's just not right anymore. The whole world's fucked up and I need to fix it somehow but I don't know how. I…I don't know what to do anymore…

"Yes, sir," Randy manages to spill out of his mouth.

Oh, Randy…please…just don't even try to pull up this mask around me anymore…don't try to be my friend. I know what's inside you, just crawling underneath you…Randy…

John takes his roll of bread and munches a bit of the top carefully as the silence consumes and Johnny opens his mouth to ask another question.

"So, Randy, are you—?"

"I raped him." John finally says, throwing down the roll of bread he had been munching on. He stands up and his shoulders are shaking. "He's in here, having lunch with me. I've got a problem…I don't know what to do with myself. I don't think I can stand the fact that the child I've raped, the person I've tainted, the…Randy…oh God, I'm damn sorry. You're confused. I'm confused. Just don't look at me anymore. I don't deserve to be here and you…just go home. I'm damn sorry that you think you have to pretend that everything's fine."

"Everything is fine, John." Randy finds himself saying. His eyes is staring back at John, trying so desperately to cling onto this reality of perfection he's created for himself.

"Please just stop…" Randy suddenly breaks down. "Please lie to me, John…lie to me…"

John's arms are suddenly wrapped around Randy's shoulder.

"Please lie to me…tell me that everything's fine…please fucking lie to me, John because I can't take it anymore…" Randy sniffles, staring back at John with bloodshot eyes. "I'm..."

"Randy—"

"I just want to…" Randy's voice is trembling. "I just want to be able to sleep again at night."

It's my fault. Oh God. It's my fault.

"John…Randy…" Carol tries to get into their conversation but unable to find a reason to talk.

"It's…" Randy's voice is trembling again, staring back at him. "You know what's damn wrong, John? Just…confusing? Out all of this, I don't give a fuck about the rape as much as I give a damn about the fact that I'm a boy and you're a boy and we were…touching."

And Randy's whole world feels broken and desolate right now and he can't find himself understanding anything anymore, just staring back at John whom can't find himself to respond to him at all, in their own circle of misery.

"John…lie to me…tell me I'm a pretty girl…make me feel like everything's okay again…like…I have to get out these thoughts of me having to change my sex just to feel normal again…"

"Randy!" John's heart is palpitating. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know what to do. He's got a 12 year old thinking about a sex-change. He finds himself staring at Randy as he curls towards him, and bites down his lower lip as he stares upwards at him.

"If I…be a girl, would you still want me?"

"Randy, you're not in a right state." John tries to tell him. "You…you're not…oh God, this is all my fault…look, I'm going to take you home and you're gonna fall asleep and…"

"Everything's gonna be okay." Randy finishes off for him, mechanically.

"Yeah…"

And it's late at night right now and he finds himself sitting beside the window, Randy Orton presses his head towards the cold window, trying to feel safe but he can't. In an instance, he hears the sound of pebbles hitting and tapping against the window and he looks down to see Johnny Fabulous waiting for him.

Randy arches his eyebrow and stares back at his rapist's Father…

It's my fault. Oh my God. It's just all my fault…

Coming up:

'Deep In Thought': Randy really considers a sex-change and Johnny Fabulous is planning with him on getting one...but in whose bank account and whose name?

Talk about fun. :D

X Sam.