AN: This chapter was a lot easier to write than the last one, so... I hope you like it!

If you ever want to see multiple teenage girls go completely crazy, tell them they have less than three weeks to get a date to a ball.

Seriously. I have never seen anything more ridiculous. They moved around in little packs, applying lipstick every five seconds and fluttering their sparkly eyelashes. Furthermore, they were constantly swarming the most attractive guys in the school, a group that, unfortunately, included Will. Not that it was unfortunate that Will was attractive— I mean, I didn't find him attractive. Obviously. Although he really did have nice arms, and his eyes—

Ahem. Annoyilily, shut up.

But Intellily, he really does have nice arms!

Shut up.

I mean, some guys have thin little stick arms, like Lorcan.

Shut. Up.

And other guys are like way too focused on bodybuilding and stuff, like Lysander, so their arms are all big and gross.

SHUT. UP.

But Will has, like, the perfect arms.

SHUT UP.

ANYWAYS, what was I saying? Oh, yes. It was very unfortunate that the girls kept swarming Will, because he and I were busy trying to get Scorpius and Rose to go to the ball together. For example, one afternoon, we were hanging out in the library, discussing whether Rose would look better in blue or green. (It was an important detail, okay? She needed to look pretty for the ball.) Anyways, there we were, dealing with highly important matters, when a perky blonde girl came up to us.

"Oh, Will!" she exclaimed, fluttering her eyelashes and completely ignoring my existence. "Imagine seeing you here!"

He gave me a Who-in-Merlin-is-this-chick look. I responded with my nastiest Your-problem-not-mine look.

"Um," he said, turning back to the blonde girl. "I don't mean to be rude, but do I know you?"

"I'm Marilyn," she said, making some kind of pouty face. "Don't you remember? On January 6th of our second year, at 10:47 a.m., I tripped in the hallway and you gave me a band-aid. Look!"

To my complete disgust, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a tattered band-aid, complete with dried blood.

"Oh," said Will, looking completely terrified, like Marilyn was going to kill him and then carry around the bloody knife so she could give it to her grandchildren.

"Anyways," continued Marilyn, perky as ever, "I was wondering if you'd like to go to the ball with me!"

Will gave me his terrified rescue-me-from-the-psychopath look. I decided that it was probably my responsibility to do so, since he was my partner in crime, so I stepped in smoothly and said "Marilyn, darling, you don't want to go with this jerk! I mean, come on. Sweetheart, you need higher standards. Besides, I heard Alexander Zabini wants to go with you." Alexander Zabini was, supposedly, the hottest guy in the school, and a year older than us, so I figured a girl like Marilyn would find him appealing, if anyone could.

As I had suspected, Marilyn immediately looked thrilled. "Really? Goodbye!" And she promptly sprinted out of the library.

"I swear I did not give her that band-aid," said Will, looking completely shell-shocked. "I don't even carry band-aids around with me. I mean, come on. Who carries around band-aids?"

"Face it," I said. "You just need to get a date to the ball, or these girls are never going to leave you alone."

"What about you?" he demanded.

"What about me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Maybe if you got a date, they'd stop swarming around you like ants to honey."

"They are not—

At that exact moment, Lorcan Scamander appeared in front of us, skinny little stick arms and all. He was also much paler than I remembered. I wrinkled my nose distastefully. That boy needed to shower more. Also, why was he standing in front of me? When he found out that I had snogged his brother prior to snogging him, we had a massive fight and broke up. Now, I know that story does not put me in the best light, but honestly, they were my only two boyfriends, ever. I am no—as Gran would put it—scarlet woman.

However, just because I haven't snogged lots of guys by no means makes seeing the ones I have snogged any more pleasant. So I was not particularly pleased to see Lorcan standing there.

Very, very reluctantly, I raised my head and looked Lorcan in the eyes. The moment I did so, he squeaked, turned bright red, and whipped out a bouquet of soggy, disgusting flowers.

How in the name of Circe did I ever like this guy? Why didn't Rose or Al knock some sense into me? Oh, right. I didn't tell them. That's the last time I make that mistake.

"Lily," said Lorcan dramatically. Okay, he was trying to be dramatic. Poor boy. "I have come to you in a mission of urgency."

"Yes, Lorcan?" I said, feeling rather like I was dealing with a delusional five-year-old or something.

"Lily, I have come to apologize for wronging you," he continued.

"Oh," I said. "Well, in that case, I forgive you. Have a nice day."

"No, don't go!" exclaimed Lorcan. "Lily, my beloved—

"Whoa there," I said. "Easy."

He ignored me. "—I was wrong to turn away from you. In my anger, I did not see the truth. It does not matter to me if you slept with one thousand of my brothers—

"What?" said Will and I, at exactly the same moment. Will stared at me in horror. "Did you really—

"No!" I exclaimed, before turning back to Lorcan. "Okay, Lorcan. Three things. One: I have never and will never sleep with one thousand people, because that's disgusting. Two: you have one brother, not one thousand. Three: I did not sleep with Lysander. We snogged. Okay, we may have possibly made out, once, but I did not sleep with him. For god's sake. I was fourteen when we were dating. That is totally disgusting."

"Lily, will you attend the ball with me?" said Lorcan, waving his flowers. Apparently he had not been listening to a word I had said and had continued with his monologue.

"No thank you, Lorcan," I said.

He looked like the moon had fallen out of the sky and flattened him. "Why not?"

I was about to explain the many reasons I did not want to attend the Halloween Ball with Lorcan Scamander, but at that moment, Will, thank Merlin, stepped in.

"She's already going with someone," he said smoothly.

Lorcan looked furious. "I leave you to your fate, Lily Evans," he said, and, after dramatically—okay, kind of dramatically—dropping the flowers on the floor, he stormed out. Okay, he stalked out. Okay, fine. He walked out in a kind of angry-looking manner.

Will raised his eyebrows. "Hmm. Lily, do you remember what I was saying earlier? Something about ants and honey, I believe?"

"I'd rather go with an ant than with Lorcan Scamander," I told him.

"You didn't actually sleep with Lysander, did you?" he asked, a weird look in his eyes.

I threw my hands into the air. "Will no one believe me?"

"So you didn't?"

"Of course not!"

He grinned. "Just checking."

I sighed. "Let's just admit. We both need to find someone to go with."

"There's no one I want to go with," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please. There must be one girl in this entire school that you find attractive."

"Sure," he said. "Plenty of them are attractive. But very few of them are attractive, nice, and smart."

"The guys are worse," I told him, resting my head in my hands. "Merlin, why is life so complicated?"

"Come on," he said. "You can't tell me that there isn't a single guy in the school that you like."

"I swear that there's not," I said, just as Rose and Scorpius entered the library and approached our table.

"Swear that there's not what?" asked Rose, sitting down.

"A single guy in all of Hogwarts that I could bear attending the ball with," I said.

"What about Scorp and I?" demanded Will.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "You, my dear, are the worst of all."

He rolled his eyes. "Right."

"No, I'm kidding," I said. "That's not a bad idea. Why don't we all go together?"

"You mean in a group?" asked Scorpius.

"More like pairs," I said. "Will and I will go together, and you and Rose."

Rose opened her mouth, probably to object, but Will jumped in.

"Yeah," he said. "Excellent idea!"

Rose and Scorpius exchanged looks. "Fine," said Rose.

"Great!" I said. Our mission was successful!

"By the way, Rose," I said, casually, "I really think you should wear blue."

Will raised his eyebrows at me. "Or maybe green."

"Mm, I think blue," I said.

"Turquoise?" he said.

I grinned. Blue and green. Turquoise.

"Come on, Rosie," I said. "Let's go find you a turquoise dress."