We sat like that for a while, just holding each other quietly. Eventually he fell asleep in my lap and I moved him carefully back to the bed. Shikamaru's mom showed up with a lasagna for me'n Shika and I let her see him, but he was still sleeping. She just ruffled my hair and thanked me for taking care of him.
"You know, he got so quiet after Asuma died. Usually he complains about me nonstop! And all Shukaku and I could do was tell him we'd be there for him, but it didn't seem to be helping. So if this is the place he wants to be, I won't make him come home. At least, not 'til he's better." I chuckled nervously. I had taken Shikamaru here purely out of selfishness; because I didn't want to leave him and because he was too out of it to ask differently.
She left after that, and I put the lasagna in the fridge, too guilty to eat any. When I came back into the room, Shikamaru was sitting up, staring at the ceiling. He tried to fake feeling better, but I could tell he was still tired. I lent him a clean pair of clothes though, and left him to change into them while I heated up some of the lasagna I had just put in the fridge.
I'm not gonna lie, being in the same room with Shikamaru after all of that was a little awkward. Well, a lot awkward. I had no idea what to do with myself, especially since Shikamaru was the only one eating. I had no idea where Akamaru had gone off to, but he's a healthy male dog, he has healthy male dog needs to take care of. Speaking of which...
I don't know if you guys have ever seen a girl in a big guys' shirt, but it's pretty sexy. I have definitely done that with some of my exes. But with Shikamaru my clothes weren't too big for him, they fit almost perfectly. Anyone who had just looked at the two of us probably wouldn't have been able to guess that he was wearing clothes that weren't his. But the level of satisfaction I felt, seeing him in my clothing, the level of... I don't know what to call it, other than to say that it was a jumble of a bunch of different things, and it was amazing and completely new.
He noticed me staring and flashed a grin my way. I shifted my legs slightly, trying not to draw too much attention to what was going on below.
"If you like your prize so much, come over and claim it." He stuck his chin out, making it very obvious that he wanted me to kiss him, and grinned at me. Kissing Shikamaru was at the top of my priorities list, but I was too thrown by the fact that Shikamaru Nara was actually flirting with me to do much more than choke on my own words.
"I, um... I... Lasagna. Dogs. I forgot. Um. Yeah." I left the room, very clearly blushing like a maniac and I could feel Shikamaru's smile follow me out.
I discovered quickly that I had indeed put away the lasagna, but I didn't really feel ready to face Shikamaru again, so I did thirty push ups in twenty seconds. Then I did another thirty with one hand. Then I did another thirty with the other. I sat back against the couch, breathing a little heavily, and figured that my mind was sufficiently clear, so I made the trip back up the stairs again.
Shikamaru was half asleep, his eyes opened lazily as I reached across the bed and grabbed the empty plate. He smiled, completing the lazy, satisfied look spread across his face, so I leaned down and kissed him gently, but deeply.
"I wanna tell you..." he murmured sleepily as I pulled away, gazing at me with an expression that was reminiscent of the one that I could never understand. As he looked at me through half-lidded eyes, I thought that if I just let him look at me like that a little while longer, I would probably understand... But he was on the mend, so instead I promised him that I would still be by his side when he woke up, even if he didn't want me to be, and told him to get some sleep.
He smiled and his eyes slipped closed. "Mmm..." was all he managed to get out before he was fully asleep again. I sat back in the chair and fell asleep myself, forgetting about the dishes.
When I woke up, it was pitch black outside, and it had started raining. I was cold, and I noticed that the covers had slipped off of Shikamaru and he was curled up in his sleep trying to stay warm. Maybe it was partly because I was cold, maybe it was partly because Shikamaru was cold. Maybe it was partly because I knew that Shikamaru had never liked the rain. Most likely though, the reason I curled myself around Shikamaru and fell asleep holding him in my arms was because I had had the nightmare again. So as he mumbled and turned towards my warmth, I pulled him closer and kissed his forehead protectively.
"It's okay. It will all be okay." I whispered into the darkness, where the words floated like hangedmen, mocking me as I tried desperately to fall into the sleep that didn't come.