Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself
Where you gonna go
Where you gonna go
Salvation is here
That first day had been something of an experience. At dinner, I was the only one who didn't say anything, even when I was addressed to. The only time I did talk was when Rick asked to see if I was alright, but even then I just nodded, I couldn't speak, I was a afraid to. Chris had looked up at me with her light green eyes with a look I hadn't received from anyone that often, it was compassionate, like she really did feel sorry for me and that she wanted to say she was sorry for her brother in law, but there was nothing she could do.
When I finally went to bed, it was nearly three in the morning. The sounds of the horses, cows, and other random animals that made a sound wasn't the reason I was sleeping, I was waiting for Derick to come kill me, but that feeling inside was still gnawing at me, saying he wouldn't kill me, I still wasn't convinced. My sleep wasn't meant to last long, I heard sounds of feet at five-thirty downstairs, I wasn't exactly sure who it was, so I of course went to investigate.
I was in a pair of long pajama pants and a Rutherford High School Music department shirt from back in 1993, Chris must have been working at this job for a while. She was at least thirty-two to thirty-four years old, it kind of showed in her hair. There was a gray shine to it like mine, but I had earned mine by being a natural blonde, she probably earned hers from the stress of those aggravating teenagers.
When I walked in the kitchen, I saw it was Chris who thankfully was down there. She had her back to me, and I saw immediately that she'd already taken a shower and was dressed for the day, wow she was quick. She was clad from head to toe in black. Her shirt, slinky jacket, and slacks were all dark black, her fingernails were even painted the color, I never pictured her in anything like this, it reminded me of, well...of me. She was making herself a bowl of cereal when I had to speak.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Ms. Johnny Cash." I said. She turned and was chuckling at what I'd said. I'd finally made someone laugh for a change, about freaking time.
"Good morning C.C., did you sleep well?" She asked as she kept pouring the cereal in the bowl, when she was done, she set it down on the counter behind her without even having to look.
"I haven't been asleep for very long, I couldn't." I admitted.
"I understand, I really do. C.C., I am so sorry for what Derick did, if I could, I'd send you back to New York myself, I'd drive you there if I had to, but believe me, you might want to stay out here for just a little while, hopefully you won't regret it." She said.
"Chris, I'm scared. I don't want to die, I didn't do anything bad enough to have to give up my own life in place of another." I said.
"I know, I know, don't worry though, if any of those people were to come near you," She put a spoonful of cereal in her mouth, "I'd kill dem myself." I covered my mouth and looked down to try and hide my laughter, but it didn't work out too well. "Sorry, I don't have much time to eat, I have to get Anja and Tanita up by six, Koty by six-thirty, and let me tell you, that kid hates getting up." She said as she finished off her cereal. She put the bowl in the sink and then the sound of a child crying echoed from upstairs down into the kitchen. "Oh no, poor Koty." She said as she dashed upstairs, I followed right behind her.
When we were upstairs, Chris walked inside her son's room and turned on the little lamp by his bedside. I saw that he had pictures of cars and a rodeo poster on the wall from back in the 50's, something you'd probably find at an antique store or something like that. She sat down on the bed next to him and wiped away his tears. Her voice was inaudible but I guess she was asking him how he was. He shook his head and let out a whimper before he shut his eyes and wrapped his little arms around his tiny torso. She placed her palm on his forehead and then shook her head.
"I guess I'll have to stay home today, Koty's sick and Rick has all ready left for work and Derick..." She sighed and I have no idea why I said what I did, but I did.
"I'll watch him for you. I used to take care of my cousin when he was sick." I left out the fact that it was just playing doctor, and not the perverted version most people associate it with.
"Really? I don't know. Come here for a minute." She motioned for me to come closer and I did as I was told. "Koty, would it be all right if Miss Babcock here stayed with you today while mommy and daddy are at work? Derick is here to." She said the last sentence with timidness.
Koty looked up at me with big blue eyes. He must have gotten those from Rick, but he favored Chris more in the face. From out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Chris was looking up at me, as if she were watching the little boy and I communicate telepathically, which we weren't, but you know, it helps along with the story. After a few moments, a small smile appeared on his face and she sighed with relief.
"What is it?" I asked.
"He likes you. Ok, go on back to sleep baby, I love you." She bent down and kissed his forehead before she stood to her feet and smiled at me. "Thank you so so so much." She said.
"No problem. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some sleep I need to get back to." I then turned on my heel and walked out of the room, it was too freaking early for me to be up, besides, I was on "vacation."
About an hour later though, I awoke with a strange sense that I was not alone in the room. I cracked an eye open and looked around, I was turned on my side, so all I could technically see was just the spot I was looking at, which was the wall. I tried to look to the door, but discovered I was being held down by a force. I pushed myself up with one hand and looked down to find that Koty was the sense I was feeling. He had one arm wrapped draped over my waist and his thumb was in his mouth. Seriously? When had this kid snuck in here?
I couldn't help but stare down at him for a moment. He was snuggled up to me like I was his mother or something and I couldn't help but feel a yearning in my heart. When I had been a little girl, I had always pretended to have a child of my own, but as I got older, I grew to hate them and swore I would never have any, but looking down at little Koty now, made me wish I hadn't said thought or said that. I ran my fingers through his light brown hair; I yanked it away when I saw him stir, but all he did was get closer to me and yawn a little. Oy me. I shook my head and sighed, I gently laid back down and wrapped my arms around him. I noticed he was shaking a little so I put the covers more so on him than myself. I figured I would more than likely get sick for this, but at least Koty wouldn't get worse.
"Would you look at this? Her snotty-ness actually has a heart." I looked up groggily to see that Derick was standing by the bed. I looked and saw that Koty was still close to me and some of my hair was curled around his finger. I furrowed my eyebrows to show that I was aggravated, but I wasn't really and he knew it.
"Be easy when you get up and get dressed. I want to teach you something." He said. I did as he said and after I was in another outfit that Chris had given me, another pair of jeans and a loose button up shirt, I walked out into the backyard, not before I had checked on Koty one last time.
I saw that Derick was facing me with his hands on his hips, behind him, I could see some glass bottles on a hitching post. How fortunate.
"You dragged me out of bed, what do you want?" I asked as I moved closer and stopped a few feet from him and mimicked his position.
"Here, I want to show you somethin'. Stand by me and cover your ears." He turned around and I walked over to his side. He must have thought I was too close and nudged me over a few inches. I placed my hands over my ears, and just as I was wondering why he'd told me to do that, I saw why. He pulled the gun from his side and shot at one of the glass bottles, busting it into a thousand pieces. I jumped at the noise and shrieked.
"WHAT THE HELL?" I yelled.
"You try now." He held the gun out to me with his finger. I eyed it with huge eyes. Was he serious? I reached out with a shaky hand, but he pulled it back a little ways. "Please don't shoot me with it." He said and he placed it in my hand.
Nervously I held up the gun and placed my other hand under the stock of it. I could feel the heaviness of the bullets on my palm. After I was sure I had a good aim, I fired, but unfortunately, I'd been wrong. We never even heard the bullet hit anything.
"I think I would have been safe. You can't shoot worth a flip." He grinned as he took the gun from me. I felt like stomping on his foot, but retained myself. "Let me show you how to, come here." He pulled, unwillingly, in front of him. I could feel his chest on my back, I could hear him breathing, he was way too close, but I didn't say anything this time either. He held the gun out in front of me with one hand, and his other found its way to my own. He placed my hand on it and he covered mine with his hand. He put my other hand on the other side, where my fingers were resting on top of one another, and his hands were resting on top of mine. "Now, keep every thought that crosses your mind on that bottle there. Do you see it?" He said. I nodded. "Good. Now when I say so, shoot." I waited for a few seconds, and then like a ghost, he whispered into my ear, "Fire." I pulled the trigger quickly and to my complete and utter surprise, I shot it.
"I DID IT!" I shrieked. I jumped up and down, I nearly hit Derick in the chin I was sure, but I just heard him laugh. When I stopped, I turned my neck to look at him. He was looking down at me with his eyes sparkling.
"You're a good student." He said.
"I had a good teacher." I replied with a small smile. He took the gun from me and slipped it back into the holster. He turned my body around his time and kept looking at me with the same look still. I reached up slowly and ran my finger over the scar on his cheek. "What happened?" I asked.
"I did something I shouldn't have. Let's just leave it at that." He chuckled, as did I. I stared into his eyes again, there was just something about them, they were just so beautiful, nothing you would imagine on a criminal. He placed his hand on my cheek and I looped my arms around his neck. I had nothing on my mind now, except kissing him, and that's exactly what I did.
I kissed him and he returned the kiss, but when I realized what I had done, I pulled away quickly and looked at him with a deer-in-headlights look. I turned away from him quickly and ran back to the house. When I was in my room, I discovered Koty wasn't there anymore, he was in his room, I could hear his TV set on, but after that, I drowned out all the noise. I locked the door and sat down in the corner with my back pressed hard against the wall, and brought my knees up to my chest. I began to cry, what the hell had I been thinking? This man was going to kill me! He worked for people that wanted me dead, but why in the world was I feeling this for him? How could I love a monster? Or...was I the one who was the monster?
That night, Chris, Rick, Anja, Tanita, and Koty went into Austin for the evening, they'd invited both Derick and I to go, but we both declined the offer. With all that had happened that day, neither one of us really interacted with anyone. Koty was thankfully feeling a lot better, I'd spent most of my time with him, I didn't give a damn if I got sick or not, I just wanted to forget anything had ever happened, but fate is a fickle thing.
I was in the guest room with a book Chris has lent me to read, but I hadn't been really been paying attention. I just could not stop thinking about that kiss. I couldn't shake the thought that maybe Derick was in love with me, or maybe he was just trying to get me to gain his trust so that it'd be faster to kill me, ugh, I didn't know what to believe or think, I just wanted everything to be quiet, like it had been when I was in New York, alone. Without anyone to have to worry about, except Chester. I didn't even want Maxwell anymore, I really had given up, and I didn't care.
"C.C., can we talk?" My thoughts were broken, Derick was standing in the doorway.
"Go away." I said quietly.
"Please, let me explain." He started.
"I don't want to hear it. Give me your gun, I'll blow my brains out and save you the trouble." I replied smartly. He ran his fingers through his dark hair.
"Will you please hear me out?"
"Fine, you have thirty seconds." I said. He came in the room and sighed.
"I didn't mean to do that to you. I just...I just..."
"Spit it out Goddammit!" I shouted.
"I just couldn't help myself. You looked so beautiful, you still are, but your eyes told me you trusted me...which is all I wanted from the beginning." He said. I rolled my eyes and tossed the book against the wall. He flinched and I stood up quickly.
"You're a fucking liar! You don't care anything about me!" I yelled.
"I do! You have no idea how much I care about you!" He retorted.
"Oh shut up! You do not care what happens to me! You just want to get this all over with so you can get paid and go get someone else!"
"That's not true! I really do care about you!" This was seriously getting ridiculous. I went to slap him, but his reflexes were astounding. He grabbed my wrist and as I tried to struggle free, he kept his grip firm, but not hard enough that it would hurt. "Please. Stop." He said, and for the first time, he looked like he really wanted me to stop fighting him.
"Prove to me you care." I said through gritted teeth. He released his grip and stepped aside.
"If you want to go, go. I won't stop you. The keys are in the truck, drive as far away from here as you possibly can." He said, but there was a sense of regret in his voice. I looked at him and I saw that tears were welling in his eyes. My mouth hung open a tad bit and I was trying to decide whether to leave or not, where could I go? I couldn't go back to New York, I really had no where else to go.
I stepped closer to him just as a tear slid down his cheek. I ran my finger along his jawline tenderly and kept my hand on his cheek.
"Do you love me?" I asked, leaning in closer to him
"Yes." His lips crashed onto mine and I knew soon that all hell was fixing to break loose.
Yeah. Totally not a Niles/C.C. story. Over 3000 words on this one. Awesomeness. And by the way, the whole Chris dashing upstairs thing, I saw that today with another person I based Chris from. Dude, when her kid is hurt, that woman can run quick.