Chapter Twenty Two – Sick Again
Over time the others dissipated until only Oishi, Fuji, Eiji and Tezuka remained. The cake was untouched and most of the sushi had to be thrown out and fillings fed to Kiba. It was nearly nine in the evening when Kaiya had fallen asleep on the lounge between Fuji and Eiji who had been keeping her entertained with stories and games – Kohana was sleeping soundly in her lap.
"Kunimitsu." Fuji said softly, breaking a long and agonising silence, where Fuji and Eiji simply watched Tezuka where he sat on the lounge across from them, Kiba lying comfortingly by his feet, his elbows on his knees, glasses held in one hand, while both hands and fingers were tangled in his hair.
They hadn't seen his face for nearly half an hour.
Tezuka didn't look up at the sound of his name, he was still completely numb.
Oishi reached a hand out from the lounge beside him and placed it on his friend's shoulder. "Kunimitsu, you can't withdraw like this. She'll need your strength."
The front door of the house suddenly opened and Tezuka was on his feet at once, running round through the kitchen and came to a halt when he realised that it wasn't Miyako as he had hoped.
"Tezuka." Naoko said. "Can you come with me, please?"
"Why?" Tezuka asked. "What's going on?"
"I'll let Miya tell you. She needs some sense talked into her and she won't listen to me or her Mother." Naoko sighed. "But maybe you can."
"Go on." Oishi said. "We'll take care of Kaiya."
Tezuka looked at his vice Captain and nodded. "Thanks Oishi."
"Any time."
. : . : . : .
When Naoko led Tezuka into the hospital after a completely silent care trip, Tezuka was taken to the Oncology department – which didn't make sense to him and only frightened him more.
Naoko stopped by a door and motioned to it, glancing at Tezuka before he stepped across the hall to console Tamie, who was sobbing into her hands. Before going to the door, Tezuka placed a hand on her shoulder, offering some comfort.
"Tezuka-kun." She whispered, looking up at him and wiping her eyes. "Please, talk to her."
Tezuka nodded and walked over to the door and softly knocked. "Miya."
The soft sobbing from within halted, but other than that there was no change.
"Miya, can I come in?" Tezuka asked.
For a long moment nothing happened, but then he heard the door click. He looked back at her parents before he slowly pushed the handle down and opened the door. He'd barely stepped into the softly lit room when her body slammed into his and arms crushed him around the middle. He circled his arms around her, holding her just as tightly as he used his foot to kick the door shut.
"Miya, let's sit down, okay?"
She nodded ever so slightly and allowed him to lead her to the two plastic chairs and sat her down in one before moving the other in front of her and sitting in it.
"Miya, would you please explain to me what's going on?" He asked. "Is it your lungs?"
Miyako shook her head, wiping her eyes – Tezuka offered her a handkerchief which she gladly took and used on her eyes. "It's not my lung." She admitted. "Kunimitsu, I need to tell you something…I guess that now is the right time." She paused for long enough to take in a deep breath. "When I was five I was diagnosed with Lung Cancer."
"Cancer?"
Miyako nodded. "My left lung is a transplant." She explained. "And…well…There isn't much else to say. Other than the fact that it explains what you asked me a few weeks ago."
"What was that?"
"Why the gap between Kaiya and I is so wide. My parents were caring for me so much that I guess they forgot their plans for more children." Miyako laughed lightly, but then she sighed. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner – but I've never sought attention from my illness and I guess it's in my nature to keep it hidden."
Tezuka raised a hand to her cheek and brushed a fresh tear from her cheek. "You're selfless; I'd expect nothing less from you."
She smiled weakly up at him, holding a hand over his. "Kunimitsu, the cancer's come back – well, they think it has."
"When?"
"When I had my doctor's appointment the other week I had an x-ray like always and though it was of my chest they caught sight of my left elbow." Miyako explained, a hand going to the elbow in question. "We had it x-rayed again when we got here and they've discovered that there's an unusual lump in there. They want to do a Biopsy to get the lump out and then test it to see if it's in anyway cancerous."
"And if it is?"
"Then I'll undergo chemotherapy and radiation to ensure that it's all gone."
"If not?"
"Then I'm lucky and I should be out of the hospital in a few weeks." Miyako said. "But the doctor did say that the lump had changed from what they had seen in the first x-ray – but he assumes that because of my tennis playing I could have merely agitated it."
"I have one more question for you."
Miyako looked up.
"Why have you locked yourself in the room and concerned your parents enough that they came to get me?" Tezuka asked.
Miyako looked away, completely ashamed. "I don't want the surgery?"
"Why? Why wouldn't you want to get rid of it?"
"It'll be a harder scar to hide." Miyako admitted. "I know it sounds so stupid but…I don't know…it was hard enough coping with a scar down the centre of my chest, and then knowing that I'll have another one on my arm…" She sighed.
"No, it's not stupid – but Miya…I want you to have this surgery, not because you have to, but please, what if this thing kills you?" Tezuka asked, taking both of her hands in his, keeping eye contact with her. "Your family will lose you. Kaiya will lose you….I would lose you."
Miyako lost the eye contact, staring down at her knees and then, without saying a word, reached both hands to the hem of her shirt and began to lift it.
"Miya." Tezuka stated, stopping her. "What are you doing?"
"Please, Kunimitsu, let me show you something." She replied, looking straight into his eyes. "This is very important."
Her gaze was penetrating, but the side of him that told him her Father was just behind the door was speaking louder than words. He knew that she wasn't doing what most guys would assume.
"Please, Kunimitsu." She said again.
Tezuka looked at the closed door behind him.
"They won't come in. Kunimitsu, please. This is important to me." Miyako insisted.
Slowly, Tezuka released her hands and she continued to pull the shirt up and over her head. He held his breath as she placed it to the side, relying on the hair that was held back in a ponytail to hide herself for a moment, arms crossed over her front.
"Kunimitsu, only my doctors, parents and sister have ever seen this and…I admit that when I look in the mirror it scares me." She explained, slowly and hesitantly pushing her hair aside.
Though his eyes travelled there involuntarily, she brushed the tips of her fingers down the valley of her breasts and around the side of her bra, following a line of puckered skin to the left side.
"Miya." Tezuka whispered, looking back up to her eyes. "I – "
"It's disgusting isn't it?" Miyako asked, sitting back and looking away, her fingers still feeling the scar. "When I was little I used to tell Dad I had a battle scar – I used to think I was so lucky to have it. But then…I went on a sleep over with a bunch of friends in the sixth grade. It was my first one ever and I was so excited. She had an indoor spa so I didn't have to wear a shirt over my swimmers like I usually did – to prevent me from getting burnt and stuff. And when I walked out of the bathroom in the new bikini Mum had bought me…one of them screamed – and then another and soon all of them were laughing."
"Miya…"
"It was childish of me to be so…upset about it. None of them knew I'd had cancer or a tumour and we were all kids back then but – after that day I've been so ashamed of this scar and the pain that I feel when I think about the mockery in those girls' laughter." Miyako shut her eyes tightly, looking away, fighting back the tears that threatened.
Tezuka reached out, forgetting the nerves that came with his girlfriend sitting shirtless before him, and shifted her face back to make her look at him. "Miya, this scar doesn't stop me from believing that beyond my Mother, you are the most beautiful being in my world."
Her eyes brimmed with tears as he, still staring straight into her chocolate orbs, trailed his fingers down her chin, neck and by her collar bone. Then he hesitated. Miyako looked down to his hand and then shot it back up to meet his gaze.
"Kunimitsu…you don't have to."
He kept a steady gaze into her eyes as his fingers brushed over the scar tissue. There was a clear difference from the scar to the softness of her skin. After a moment he allowed his eyes to follow his own fingers – more to prevent himself from accidentally touching her where he shouldn't.
His cheeks flushed an interesting shade of red as he was no longer able to hold it back.
"You know…every day I look up to the stars." Miyako said gently, looking up towards the window near them. "And I thank the little boy who died, but gave up his lung to save my life."
Tezuka pulled his hand away and reached for her shirt, handing it to her. "How did he die?"
"Car accident." Miyako replied, hastily pulling the shirt over her head. "I was lucky and I can't count the amount of times I thanked his parents for saying yes to saving my life."
Tezuka didn't speak for a long moment, the flush still colouring his cheeks.
She looked back at him, smiling. "Kunimitsu, if it makes you feel better – you'd have seen just as much if I hadn't worn a tank top at camp."
"Not the point." Tezuka replied. He glanced at her slightly. "You weren't my girlfriend then."
She giggled a little, leaning forward to lazily lay her arms over his shoulders, her forehead pressing against his. "You're such a modest and honest guy, Kunimitsu, how can I ever believe that I got someone that wouldn't take advantage of that situation?"
He chuckled and kissed her sweetly. "I'd never forgive myself if I did anything like that to you."
A comfortable silence followed, where they held one another, eyes closed and simply breathing. All they needed was each other's presence.
"Miya." Tezuka breathed.
"Hmm?"
"Please, have the operation."
"Okay."
. : . : . : .
Tezuka appeared at school the next day, he was present at the morning practice and he attended his lessons, but he was still numb. He was worried beyond anything he'd ever been before. His eyes kept staring at the clock. It ticked over the moment her surgery began and he became even worse. He didn't eat during lunch and he didn't answer Fuji and Eiji's questions – until they were walking to afternoon practice when he finally opened his mouth.
"Tezuka." Fuji said. "Would you just tell us if she's okay? Her Mother was a wreck when she got home last night."
Tezuka hesitated. "She's having an operation." He replied. "She should be out at around three if they're on time."
"An operation?" Eiji asked. "Why?"
"I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you that." Tezuka replied as they reached the change rooms.
"She'll be okay though, right?" Fuji asked.
Tezuka nodded as they changed from their uniforms. "She'll be just fine – but I can't convince myself of that until her Mother calls."
"Come on then, let's play some tennis and pass that time you have to wait." Eiji suggested, throwing his club shirt over his head and leaping in bounds out of the change rooms.
Tezuka managed a small smile at his team mates antics as he pulled on his own shirt and followed Fuji out of the room and towards the courts.
"Tezuka-senpai!"
Tezuka and Fuji both turned as Miyako's friend ran at a sprint towards them.
"Tezuka-senpai, has something happened to Miyako?" Kara asked, coming to stop in front of the two seniors.
Tezuka looked at Fuji for a moment and Fuji merely walked onto the courts. The Captain looked at his girlfriend's best friend sadly. "Miya asked me to talk to you to let you know what is happening." He began, taking a deep breath. "They found a tumour in her left arm, in the joints of her elbow."
Kara gasped, her hands coming up to her mouth.
"She's currently in surgery to have it removed and hopefully that will be the end of it."
"And if not?" Kara asked.
"If their tests prove the tumour is cancerous, Miya will have to undergo further treatment. Like chemotherapy and radiation." Tezuka replied. He reached into his pocket. "I would have simply written in the note that she wanted to see you herself, but she wanted me to give you this personally. Trusting Momo with it isn't something either of us could do." He explained, handing the folded note to her. "When I go to the hospital this afternoon she wants me to take you with me."
Kara read over the note carefully, tears brimming in her eyes. "All this time…and she never told me. The sleepovers and the days out on weekends. She never told me any of this."
"If it helps, I only found out yesterday." Tezuka said as he turned to watch the tennis club members. "She already gave me your number, so please keep your phone handy so that when I call you won't miss it."
Kara nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Tezuka-senpai. I – I should go now." She bowed. "Arigatou gozaimasu." She said and ran off.
Tezuka sighed as he walked onto the courts.
He found no solace with playing a game and ended up walking away from the court and standing by the fence, merely watching. And then, an annoying sound reached him and he snapped, turning on the innocent first years who was joking amongst themselves as they picked up the balls as he'd instructed at the beginning of practice. "Over there!" He bellowed. "First years! Stop making so much noise! Ten laps. All of you."
The first years stared wide eyed at him for a long moment, but did as they were told.
"Tezuka, that was a little harsh, don't you think?" Fuji asked quietly. "They were just talking."
Tezuka started, looked at Fuji and then back to the first years as they started their run.
"Taking your anger out on them won't get you anywhere." Fuji said.
"But I can't stop worrying about her. How can't I?"
Fuji grumbled and slapped his hands against Tezuka's cheeks. "Go."
"Excuse me?"
"Take a break and calm down." Fuji replied. "Somewhere quiet. Yelling at our Kouhai will get you nowhere."
Tezuka shut his eyes tightly, raising a hand to cling onto the diamonds of the fence.
"It's okay to be worried about her, Kunimitsu." Fuji said softly. "Anyone can see how special she is to you."
A slight buzzing jolted Tezuka into action and he reached into his pocket to answer the phone. "Hello?"
There was a silence for a long moment as Tezuka listened, and slowly he smiled.
"Thank you, I'll be there as soon as I can. Okay, bye." He ended the call.
"Go to her. We'll take care of things here." Fuji said.
Tezuka nodded and ran for the change rooms.
. : . : . : .
Tezuka led Kara through the hospital wards and into the oncology section.
"At least she's not in the children's ward." Kara said softly.
Tezuka allowed a small smile. "She'd have been driven mad."
They stepped into the hospital room; Tamie and Naoko were seated in the plastic chairs across from the occupied hospital bed. Kara walked over to Tamie and embraced her.
Tezuka looked to Naoko. "Where's Kaiya?"
"At my Mother's." Naoko replied.
Tezuka nodded, understanding and then turned his gaze to the bed. On the right side of her was a drip, attached to her hand. The other arm was wrapped tightly in bandages. Her hair was messy and tied all the way back on the top of her head in a messy bun. She was dressed in a simple, pale blue hospital gown, the white cotton blanket tucked up under her armpits and then under the sides of the mattress.
Stepping up to the left side of the bed, slipping his glasses from his face, he leant over her, steadying himself with one hand, holding his glasses in his fingers, on her other side and holding onto the railing of the bed with the other hand. He gently kissed her forehead, and as the tears threatened he rested his forehead against hers, silent tears falling from his tightly shut eyes and onto her steady eyelids and then as if they were her own they slid down the sides of her face. "I'm so proud of you." He whispered.
"You didn't focus at all today, did you?" Tamie asked, appearing beside Tezuka and startling him.
Hastily he stood upright to allow Kara room to awkwardly embrace her sleeping friend. With the back of his hand he wiped his eyes. "It's all just study for our final exams anyway."
Tamie sighed, stepping right into her Motherly mode. "If you give up your chances to study by worrying then she won't like that."
"It was only for today – once she wakes up I'll be able to focus." Tezuka said.
"She got out half an hour ago; she might not wake up for several hours." Tamie informed him.
"Then I'll wait here…I promised that I would be there when she wakes up." Tezuka stated. "I won't break that promise."
Tamie simply embraced him. "Thank you, Tezuka-kun. You made my little battler so happy."
Hesitantly, Tezuka hugged his girlfriend's Mother back, feeling his tears returning. Tamie's arms tightened as he sobbed, keeping him to his feet.
"Stay strong, Tezuka-kun." Tamie whispered. "Stay strong."