Disclaimer: See Prologue

Sirius grinned at the sight of Harry's expression. "We got a little intoxicated, didn't we Moons?"

Lupin nodded once but said nothing, wishing intently that he had never been a part of the venture. When he and Sirius were sitting in the flat, discussing the merits of a night away, Amsterdam seemed like the best idea they had ever had. In reality, it had been a disturbingly heavenly trip into hell and certainly not because of Sirius' actions.

"This is…" Harry trailed off, not sure if describing this photograph was even possible.

"Gay?" Sirius offered.

1979

"And remember," James pleaded, linking arms with Sirius who, by means of side-along Apparation, was taking him to the location of his stag party. "I'm getting married on Saturday morning."

Lupin, on his left, nodded and said, "We know. That's why we picked a Wednesday, right, Padfoot?"

Sirius nodded, managing to keep a straight face. "Yep, although what've neglected to tell you is-"

James didn't catch the end of that sentence as he was dragged through what felt like the space-time continuum. Feeling a summer breeze through his hair, he risked opening one eye.

Almost immediately, Lupin and Peter arrived. Peter dusted himself off and straightened his clothing.

"Looks like Loops and Peter have had a roll in the hay on the way over," said Sirius, smirking as Lupin made a crude gesture with his right hand. He turned to James. "As I was saying, what we forgot to tell you is-"

They turned the corner, walking out of the abandoned and dark alley into which they had Apparated, and onto a busy street. The shops were filled with PVC items and the pubs were filled with people wearing them. That was all James needed to confirm his suspicions that this would be both the best and worst night of his life.

Several scantily clad young women were standing on the street corner, smoking and smiling at them.

"In Amsterdam," said Lupin, grinning in a manner befitting the wolf within. "Every night is a Saturday night." He nudged Peter. "I think that one's giving you the eye."

Peter flattened his hair and smiled back, much to the amusement of Sirius who assured him that, "She's just touting for customers, Pete."

Peter's face fell and he attempted a smile. "Yeah, I knew that."

James met Sirius' eye and bit back a smile.

"Never mind," said Lupin, pulling out a Tupperware. "Have a sausage roll."

"So where are we going?" asked James.

He was promptly directed into a small, almost empty café. It was typically Dutch with dimmed lights and candles. The clientele were almost all under eighteen and smoking. James stared inside, words having failed him.

"Go on," encouraged Sirius, pushing him in. "Breathe deeply."

James did as he was told. There was a distinctly odd smell in the air. It was almost like mown grass and tomatoes. It was rather musky and Peter almost immediately physically recoiled.

"Where are we anyway?" asked Peter, wrinkling his nose in disgust and blinking rapidly for unknown reasons.

"Remambrandtplein," answered Lupin. "This is a Gedoogbeleid. It's legal to smoke and sell Cannabis in here. That's probably why you're unused to the smell."

James coughed and stared at a beaming Sirius, horrified. "Are you trying to get me high?"

Sirius nodded. "And it's working. You ought to see your eyes."

Lupin nodded slowly. "It is very potent. I'm surprised I've lasted this long."

Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulders and said, "Word of advice, Moony. You haven't." He turned to James and said, "It's a shame. We needed him to translate."

"I can still speak, you know," protested Lupin.

Peter was terrified. "We'll be arrested. Worse, one of us might be snatched by a heroin addict and you know it'll be me, it's always me!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You're frequently snatched by smack heads, are you?"

Peter gave him a sarcastic smile and looked anxiously towards the door. "You knew what I meant," he said, frowning. He stared over at Lupin who was now nodding his head in time to a slow and imaginary beat. "Right, if Remus is getting like that, I'm going."

Peter turned on his heels and found himself clutching the wall.

"Sirius," Lupin's bloodshot eyes met his friend's and together they glanced towards Peter. "I don't think I can walk."

"I think we should go," James suggested. "The cleaner is staring at us."

"It's alright," Sirius assured them. "Me and Moons learnt some Dutch. Moony said we had to be prepared." He strolled, swaying slightly, towards a man who was about the same height as Peter.

"What did you say?" Lupin asked, allowing Sirius' head to rest in his lap as he breathed deeply and tried to remember how to stop the bleeding.

"What you told me to say," Sirius assured him. "Ik moet met je naar and then I forgot so I thought I'd say bed and hope for the best and then the bastard threw the bottle at me."

Lupin frowned slightly and groaned. "Ik moet slapen op je."

"Same thing," protested Sirius weakly.

James raised an eyebrow. "What the hell?"

Lupin sighed. "I told him to explain the situation, lie and say that we thought it was a hotel and needed a bed for the night. The expression is 'I need a bed from you'. Sirius went with 'I need to sleep with you'."

Peter, who had found them a bench on a green upon which to sit whilst they pulled themselves together and tried to remember spells to cure the best man, lay upon said bench and muttered, "Serves him right."

The information took James a moment to digest. As soon as he burst into peels of laughter, Lupin lost every ounce of control and joined him, flicking his wand and pushing a patched up Sirius off him.

"Move!" he cried, shaking with laughter. "Before people think you really are a homosexual."

At this, even Peter laughed, declaring they needed a photograph. He held his hand out for the camera and Lupin stupidly handed it over.

James was sprawled on the grass, clutching his ribs and wondering what the hell he had been laughing at. At the sight of him, Lupin fell back beside him and fought back tears of laughter.

Sirius smirked and scrambled onto Lupin's chest.

James curled into a ball and rocked with laughter.

Peter and Sirius tried to refrain from laughing, Peter for the sake of the photograph and Sirius for the sake of a practical joke that he thought was hilarious.

Lupin did not share this opinion and pushed upon Sirius' chest.

CLICK!

"Oh yes!"

James was now laughing so hard that he had broken the sound barrier.

"Give it to me, bitch!"

Catching sight of a rather pretty girl staring at them from across the road, taking a drag on her cigarette and raising an eyebrow, Lupin threw his friend off him and leapt to his feet.

"It's not what it looks like," he shouted. "I mean…um…Het is niet…er…I mean, oh fuck."

Sirius shook with laughter. "Moony, it's Amsterdam. They're cool with that sort of thing."

Lupin raised his eyebrows. "Oh right. So you were just bottled for the sake of your own amusement, were you? Peter, give me that camera."

"She's a prostitute anyway," said Peter. "Look at her. She's cool with sex in all its forms."

"I don't care," said Lupin. "Try anything like it again and I'll swing for you."

Sirius glanced towards James who was now getting to his feet and wiping his eyes. He took out a small wad of notes and handed them to Peter.

Lupin gasped. "No! I can't let you!"

"Relax, Cupcake," Sirius mocked. "We're not going to have sex with her. Pete, go and ask her over."

Peter, looking as though all his Christmasses had come at once, did as he was told, winking at Sirius who smiled and turned to Lupin.

"Well what the hell are we going to do with her then?"

"All in good time, mon frère; all in good time."