Disclaimer: See Prologue

A/N: I just don't know what's the matter with me. This is my third update today and people will be thinking that I have absolutely no life whatsoever.

"Batman?" cried Harry. "You were going to call me Batman?"

Lupin grinned. "I wouldn't have let him. Have no fear."

"I'd have had the shit kicked out of me!"

"Language!"

"Sorry, Remus." Harry turned to his godfather. "It's true though."

Sirius scoffed. "No it's not. Who the hell's going to come near you? You're Batman for God's sake!"

Lupin rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I think you'd better just accept it and grab another picture or we'll be here all night."

1979

"Oi, Lupin! Move your gangly-arse legs!"

Lupin smiled and shifted slightly on James' sofa so that he could sit beside him.

"What's the matter then?"

Lupin sighed. "To say we've had a bit of a tiff is the understatement of the century."

James smirked. "Look, you were the one who asked him to move in with you. You should have known better. Incidentally, what's he done?"

"I needed someone to pay the rent," joked Lupin. "He cooked. I spent today scraping potatoes off the wall with my bare hands because there was absolutely no spell that would shift them. I didn't even get an apology."

James shrugged. "That's Sirius for you." He turned to peer out of the window at the sound of an engine. "Oh, what do you know? Speak of the devil…"

"I'm ready!" Lily shouted in a sing-song voice.

"Well we're waiting for Peter!"

They heard her footsteps as she ran down the stairs and felt the sudden drop in temperature as she opened the door to Sirius.

"We'll be waiting bloody ages," she moaned. "I don't know how he does it but I'm beginning to think that Peter Pettigrew would be late for his own funeral."

Sirius nodded. "I've been saying the same thing for years."

Lupin was about to make a snide comment about Sirius' own tardiness but was interrupted by a coughing fit from the fireplace and the arrival of Peter who scrambled to his feet, apologised and took the best seat that Sirius had been eyeing up.

Lily beamed at him. "You couldn't have come at a better time." She ushered James to his feet and pulled him beside her, clasping his hand. Both of them were now grinning like idiots.

This forced Lupin and Sirius to sit together and neither was entirely comfortable with it. Lupin flashed his eyebrows as means of greeting and a muscle jumped in Sirius' jaw.

"We're really glad you could make it," Lily told them, meeting her husband's eye and giggling.

"Oh spit it out," cried Peter. "I'm on the edge of my seat."

"Wormy! I had a speech written and everything," protested James. "Do you want to tell them or shall I?"

"I don't mind."

"Because it's our news and I don't want you to think that I'm taking the spotlight from you."

"James, I really don't mind."

Sirius sighed. "Oh for Merlin's sake, one of you tell us preferably before 1980."

Lily, who would ordinarily have shot him a murderous glare, grinned at him. "We're having a baby."

Lupin was immediately on his feet, shaking hands and kissing cheeks in a manner that wouldn't appear out of place in a Jane Austen novel. Anyone else would have seemed pretentious but not Remus Lupin. Strangely, it suited him.

"Oh Christ, look out world."

Even his dry humour couldn't wipe the smile of James' face.

Peter actually clapped and squeaked his congratulations, embracing both James and Lily before disappearing to acquire large amounts of alcohol on Sirius' insistence that they all get "absolutely shitfaced."

Sirius now seemed on the verge of tears. "I'm so happy I could be in a musical right now. Remus, is it just me or are you not just happy, but Broadway happy?"

Lupin widened his eyes. "Do you realise how gay you sound?"

Sirius paid this no heed and continued to fawn over the idea of being an uncle. "I'm going to teach him everything I know."

"Shouldn't take too long," Lupin quipped, catching Lily's eye and smiling conspiratorially, both relieved that the others hadn't heard the remark.

"And I'll show him how to be bad. Ten times badder than me and all the girls will be crazy about him."

Lupin raised an eyebrow. "Yep, should be a sure-fire way to get him a criminal record by the time he's twelve."

"He'll learn all the tricks of the trade from me."

Lupin elbowed him playfully. "He'll learn the tricks of how to pick up trade from you."

Sirius grinned. "Does this mean we're friends again?"

"If I even hear a whisper of the word 'potato', you're out on your arse."

Sirius beamed at him. "See? I knew you couldn't be pissed forever. Besides, you'll need someone to Nancy-sit while you're out with…" Realisation dawned. "Oh my God! Your owl and your girlfriend have got the same name! Loops, that is creepy."

"She's not my girlfriend!"

James and Sirius shared a knowing smile.

"Where's my camera? We need a picture."

"And put it on a timer. I want you in it!" cried Lily, giving her friend a meaningful look. "Good lad, now come here."

James and Lily continued to beam like fools. Sirius wrapped an arm around each of them and grinned, seemingly about to burst into song. Only Lupin managed to contain himself and fiddled with his fringe as the flash almost blinded him.

CLICK!

Lupin winced and blinked furiously. "Now I know why I'm never in these."