Ricky's Point of View
Three days. That was how long Ashley had been sick and in pain so far. Three days since the pregnancy rumour spread around, the baby father rumours, the sickness at school, and the bets had been made. Three days of Ashley in pain and there wasn't anything that I could do about it. I loved Ashley, and not in a sister way. I could lie to myself and everyone else, but that was how it really was. I didn't know how much or how little, all I knew was that I did and I couldn't do anything about that either. I was helpless for everything that involved her, and it was killing me.
I was spending the night at my apartment because Ashley, Anne, George, and Robbie went to go see Anne's mother yesterday because she was sick and would be getting back today just before school started. I stared at the ceiling, hoping to sleep, but knowing I wouldn't. I rolled over on my side and looked at the wall I was facing. The position was familiar to me, being on my side with a blanket almost smothering me, I had slept almost every night like this when I was younger. Praying for a nice quiet sleep, but knowing that it would never come. I knew that the worst thing that could happen to me tonight was probably not getting enough sleep and being cranky later on.
There was a knock on the door and as I was getting up I thought about who it could be. Not many people actually showed up without an invite at close to two in the morning without some problem going on, and I was not in the mood for problems.
I swung open the door and saw the second last person in the entire world that I wanted to see, only making it to second last because her ex-husband was last.
"Hello, Ricky. Are you going to let me in?" My biological mother asked. I wasn't sure if I wanted to even let her in. Why was she even there? There was no possible reason she had to show up. I didn't want or even need her to be here so why the hell was she?
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"I wanted to see you." My mother replied.
"What for?" I asked, refusing to let her through the doorway until I had a clear reason as to why she was even there.
"I'm going back to prison, Ricky." My birth mother said.
I made a move to close the door. I didn't want her around me or my son, especially if she had drugs on her. It was a slight lie, some part of me did want her to be around me, but if she was going to be the same person she was when I was a kid growing up, then no.
"It's not like that!" My birth mother shouted, seeing that I was going to close the door.
"Didn't you say you were going back to prison?" I asked.
"Yes, but—"
"Then it is like that." I said.
"I'm not going back for drugs."
"Then why are you going back?" I asked.
"Can we please talk inside?" My birth mother asked again.
I frowned, but as long as she didn't have drugs on her, she was allowed to come in, but if I saw anything illegal she would have to leave.
I moved out of the doorway hesitantly, she walked in and then sat on the couch.
"Well, that could have gone better." My birth mother said with a slight smile.
"Glad that one of us can smile." I said. "Why are you going back to prison?"
This felt like a phone call that wouldn't end. One of those phone calls where you have one goal only when you call but the other person insists on talking about everything and asking question after question so the phone call would be longer than it ever would have been if you had just gotten your answer in the first three seconds of the call. Yeah, one of those.
"I met with my parole officer..." My biological mother trailed off.
"And?" I prompted, wanting to get this over with.
"I forgot to take my gun out of my purse."
"You kept a gun in your purse?" I asked, my voice rising a little higher than normal.
"My life is dangerous, Ricky, okay?"
"Yeah, even more so with a gun." I said.
My birth mother chose to ignore that and said, "I have to turn myself in later today."
"Okay, then why are you here?" I asked.
"I thought that maybe we could spend some time together and then you could help me turn myself in."
"I have school today." I said.
"Right. After school is done?" My birth mother asked, hopeful.
"Sure." I said. I could practically taste the bitterness in that one word.
My birth mother flinched away a little, but didn't show any hurt. Although our relationship had improved a little since I went to see her, it still wasn't close to what was considered a family relationship. I couldn't trust her, and I wouldn't anytime soon. I did, however, let her sleep in my room and made the couch for myself. My birth mother had said that I didn't need to do that and she could take the couch, but I disagreed. If my birth mother was staying with me not even 24 hours before going back to prison, I could manage with the couch. It was a weird relationship that I had with my birth mother, but I still felt the need to take care of her.
I knew that I wasn't going to get any sleep after that so I called Ashley, knowing that she'd be awake from the pain or from the noise of the streets if they were driving back already.
Sure enough, Ashley answered on the first ring, "Hey, Ricky."
"Hey, you feeling alright?" I asked.
"No, not really." Ashley said.
Ashley had given up on lying to me. Ashley very obviously was in pain and the only reason that she hadn't gone to a doctor was because George and Anne were too concerned about Anne's mother, Robbie, and their own lives to notice her, even when she was right in front of them.
"You got to miss half a day of school yesterday, and it's Friday, the last day of school before the weekend." I said, hoping that it would cheer her up a little before I told her about my biological mother being around.
"What's wrong?" Ashley asked.
"What?" I asked, genuinely confused.
"You're trying to grasp at straws to make me feel better, something isn't right." Ashley explained.
"Ash, is it that hard to believe that I'm just trying to make you feel better just because I want you to feel better?" I asked.
"No, but you're working with very little, so, yes." Ashley said.
I breathed out and said, "My mother came to my apartment a little over an hour ago."
"Okay, your biological mother came to visit you? Why?" Ashley asked.
I felt a small smile form on my face and it took me a moment to realize why. I hadn't said whether or not it was my foster mother or my biological one, Ashley just knew without me needing to tell her.
"She's going back to prison because she had a gun in her purse when she met with her parole officer and she wants to spend time with me." I said.
"What are you going to do?" Ashley asked.
"I'm going to ask Bunny to keep an eye on her and then drive her to prison where she will turn herself in." I said, knowing fully that that wasn't what Ashley meant by her question.
"Ricky, I meant about spending time with her."
"Go to school and then ask if I can change shifts at work until I take her to turn herself in?" I said, though it came out as more of a question.
"I'm not going to tell you what to do, but she's your mom—"
"She may have given birth to me, but she is not my mom." I snapped at her and immediately felt bad about it.
"Ricky, just like having more than one best friend, you can have more than one mom. A mom is someone who cares about you, and your birth mother has to care about you at least a little bit to have showed up at your door knowing that there was a good chance that you would tell her to leave and slam it in her face. I also know that family is who you care about, and whether you like it or not you care about her, and care for her, otherwise, when she had showed up at your door you would have slammed it in her face." Ashley said.
I knew she was right, and I was both happy and upset that she was. Ashley, in all her abilities and strengths, was the one person that I could never have, and that upset me because she knew me better than anyone else ever had. I was happy that at least one person understood me. See, I was helpless when it came to her.
"Ashley, I know you won't tell me what to do but what do you think I should do?"
"I think that you should do what you think is best for both you and her. She is your mom, and yes she has made mistakes, but do you think that she isn't sorry and that she doesn't deserve another chance?"
"She has had so many chances." I said.
"I know, but you don't have to tell her all your deepest secrets, you could start small. Your mother is going back to prison, Ricky, you have limited time as it is. If you want, work a little at it. A phone call here and there from prison, a picture, maybe a visit. All anyone wants is to have someone." Ashley said.
"Even you?" I asked.
"Even me." Ashley answered.
"I thought you didn't need anyone."
"You'd be surprised."
"Where are you?" I asked. I hadn't thought about asking sooner, though I supposed that I should have especially if she was with her parents.
"Just about to leave Mimsy's place actually." Ashley said.
"Okay, get back here safe."
"I will, bye."
"Hey, Ash?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. Bye."
Ashley hung up first and then I did. I thought about what she had said and decided that maybe I could try a little. It would go very slowly, but I could work on a relationship with my mother. If my mother wanted one that was.
"Do you love her?"
I almost jumped off the couch in surprise. I turned around and my mother was leaning against the wall looking at me, and by the looks of things my mother had been there a while.
"What?" I asked.
"Your girlfriend." My mother tried to clarify.
Okay, so she thought Ashley was my girlfriend. I wished that Ashley was, but she wasn't and probably wouldn't be.
"I don't have a girlfriend." I said.
"So that girl, Ashley, isn't your girlfriend?"
I shook my head.
"Well, then you call your girls that are friends very early and talk about some personal things." My mother said.
"How long were you listening?" I asked.
"Since the time where you got upset at her for calling me your mom." My mother answered.
"You heard what she said?" I asked.
"Well, no, but I heard enough to think that she wants you to try to give me another chance." My mother said.
"Only if I feel like you deserve one. Ashley won't get mad if I do or don't. All Ashley wants is for me to make a decision that I feel is right and one that I won't regret."
"So, back to my first question, do you love Ashley?" My mother asked.
I was silent for a little while, and apparently that was enough for my mother to assume that I did love Ashley.
"So why isn't she your girlfriend if you love her?" My mother asked. "Does she have a boyfriend?"
"She is Amy's sister." I said.
"As in, mother of your son, Amy?"
"Yes, as in Ashley is my son's aunt."
"Oh, wow."
"Yeah, see my problem?"
"Uh huh."
I got a few hours of sleep after that, talking to Ashley had helped me some, and I called Bunny once it was seven in the morning. I had offered my mother my car, but she refused. Instead, my mother needed some money for cigarettes and asked if I could somehow ask if she could work in the shop for the day. I had called Bunny and had told her about it and she asked if I was alright and told me that it was alright and that she would come in early so that I could leave for school on time.
I put John in his car seat and buckled him in. As I was walking around to the driver's door my phone rang. Caller ID, Ashley.
"Hey, Ashley." I said.
"Uh, hey. I need a ride to school. Dad left for the store and Mom went to the gym after dropping Robbie off at daycare." Ashley said.
"Yeah, I'll be there in fifteen minutes." I said.
"Thanks." Ashley said, and then she hung up.
I got in my car, drove to the Jeurgens' house, and when I got there I saw Ashley leaning against the house, looking extremely pale as she did so.
"Ashley?" I asked, getting out of the car.
"Give me a second." Ashley said.
"Ashley?" I asked again.
"Just give me a second to move. It just hurts a lot after I eat." Ashley said.
"Then what are you supposed to do? Not eat? I bet you didn't even eat much for the pain to get worse." I said.
"Ricky, shut up!" Ashley shouted at me, gritting her teeth against the pain.
I wanted to take her to the hospital or at least a clinic. Ashley wasn't one to admit pain and when she could barely control the pain that she was in, well, I knew that it had to be bad and painful.
There wasn't even much I could do, but I was sure that I was just annoying her by repeating her name.
"Can you help me to the car?" Ashley asked.
"Are you sure that you don't want to stay home?" I asked, already knowing what the answer would be.
"No, with what everyone thinks, Amy being gone, and the situation with Adrian, I have to go." Ashley said.
Ashley would ditch school for absolutely no reason, but when she had a solid reason to stay home or even go to the emergency room, she wouldn't. I came to the conclusion that Ashley made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
"Okay." I said.
I put an arm around her waist and supporting a good 80% of her weight, I helped her into the passenger seat of my car. I had no idea how she was going to finish the school day. I went around and opened my door, got in the car, closed the door, and started driving to the church.
Ashley leaned heavily against the window and closed her eyes, though I knew she wasn't asleep.
"Did you get any sleep on the drive back from your grandmother's?" I asked after a comfortable silence.
"A little. Did you get any sleep after your mother showed up?" Ashley asked.
"Some sleep, but I'll still be tired by the afternoon." I said.
Ashley looked up at me and studied me for a moment and then she gave me a small smile and said, "You decided to give her another chance."
"Yeah, I guess it can't be that bad right? I mean, the worst thing she can do now is ignore me or make no effort right?"
"I can't say she won't and I know it'll hurt if she does, but at least then you would have tried everything you could." Ashley said.
"I guess." I said.
Ashley made a face and looked like she was about to throw up because she had a hand over her mouth.
"Are you going to throw up?" I asked, thankful we were at a red light and I had a paper bag in the car.
Ashley just nodded and I gave her the paper bag. As soon as the bag was in her hands she started vomiting into it. I continued driving as she continued getting sick for a good minute or two. We were in the church parking lot and Ashley said, "I think you're right and I need to go see a doctor."
"What finally changed your mind?" I asked, not having once looked at her because I was busy getting John out of his seat.
"I just vomited up blood." Ashley said.
My head snapped up to her face, and sure enough, Ashley had some blood on the tips of three fingers and a little blood coming from the inside of her mouth.
I knew my eyes were as wide as the moon, and Ashley seemed almost shocked. I really didn't want to leave her, but I had to take John into the church.
"Will you be alright out here?" I asked, the worry in my voice evident.
"How the hell would I know?" Ashley snapped at me, spitting the blood in her mouth into the bag.
I ignored the attitude, Ashley was in pain and vomiting blood, Ashley was allowed attitude. I decided that she would be fine for five minutes and picked John up and ran into the daycare centre. I found Nancy, a woman that ran the place, and gave John to her expectant hands and ran out, which Nancy found strange.
I was in and out of the church in under ten minutes, a personal best, and was back in the car with Ashley by the tenth minute.
I called her regular doctor's office and Ashley's regular doctor was out for the day, but they had a replacement. He was close to fully booked, so it would have to be a quick appointment.
"Ash? Your regular doctor is out. Do you want to go to a free clinic or just see the fill-in doctor?" I asked while on the phone.
"I'll just see the doctor they have." Ashley said.
I told the office's secretary and she put it in the computer. I heard the tapping of the keys. I hung up and then drove to the doctor's office. The only positive about this was the shortened school day.
The drive to the doctor's office was a quiet one. I was quiet in my worry and Ashley was quiet because she was feeling really sick.
Once we had entered the doctor's office I immediately regretted going to the doctor's office instead of the clinic. Ashley and I checked in and waited twenty minutes before we were called into the room.
The doctor had skin the colour of caramel, brown eyes, black hair that was greying, and he looked about late forties – early fifties. I didn't like him. The guy didn't seem too friendly. The doctor's name was Dr. Delche and he didn't even introduce himself as that. I had to read it off of his jacket.
Dr. Delche asked questions about Ashley's medical history, family history, and other stuff, but it was clear to the both of us that he wasn't even paying attention to her answers. Not even five minutes later he told us to go to the secretary and make an appointment for next Saturday with Ashley's regular doctor and gave Ashley a prescription for some pain medication for the meantime. It would be a good thing if she wasn't in pain, but what about what was wrong with her? Something had to be causing the pain, but he obviously didn't care about that part either. Your standard douche doctor that doesn't care.
Ashley and I left the doctor's office and we put in the prescription at the local drugstore. I dropped her off at home and told her to stay there and that after school I would bring her medication. Although it wouldn't fix what was wrong with her, it would help with the biggest symptom and that was the point of it.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing belonging to the TV show, Secret Life of The American Teenager.
Aww... the phone call was so cute... yeah, sorry about any grammar mistakes I made, I didn't check through it too well since I wanted to get it out sooner since for a few days I have some stuff to do that will prevent me from posting. So don't shoot me :D And yes, some doctors really are that stupid, believe me, I've met some.