Chapter 6: Look At Me
Darling look at me, I've fallen like a fool for you. And darling can't you see, I'd do anything you want me to? I tell myself I'm in too deep, then I fall a little farther every time you look at me. –Alan Jackson
ZoeyPOV
I've gone through a lot of things in my life. From abusive parents, to abusive boyfriends. From tears and heartache, to laughter and smiles. But never in my life had I experienced true longing. Sure, I had longed for a family I didn't have. I longed to win trophies and medals. But I was talking about the longing to be with someone. And that someone was Seth Clearwater.
Since freshmen year, when he turned from awkward little boy, to muscled delicious man, I had felt this connection, this pull to him. I loved the way his eyes would light up when he smiled, how gentle and soothing his voice could be. And I loved the way he looked at me, like I was the only person in the room, and I was the most beautiful creature in the world. When I was around Seth, I didn't feel as though I had to keep up the "Walker rock wall", or to be this slutty party girl. No, instead I could breathe and be around him. Where am I going with this? Huh….I really don't know actually.
After being ordered out of the house, Seth pulled me into his arms and ran into the woods, only stopping when we were far enough away from my house. I was still frozen with the image of my sister screaming in pain, of the fight with my dad, but most of all that at this moment, I could very well be losing my twin, my other half.
Seth placed me on my feet. I couldn't stand; my knees gave out as I crumpled to the dirt floor. A wave of nausea swept through me, I put my head between my legs. My tears still flowed down my face. God all I wanted was for Paul or Mia or someone to just tell me I was overreacting. That M was going to be ok, that this was all a dream.
"Zo, you okay?" I felt Seth slide down next to me, placing a hand on the back of my neck. It warmed me instantly.
I shook my head, "No, Mia…And…Oh god!" A sob escaped my lips as the scene repeated over and over again in my head.
"Oh Z, shh, everything's going to be alright," Seth wrapped his huge arms around me, burying his face in my hair. I stiffened as he did this, he didn't notice though, instead whispered to me kind words.
This boy, man, was the kindest, amazing creature on the face of this planet. I turned in his arms, wrapping my arms around Seth's neck and holding tight to him. "I can't lose her Seth. I….I'll die if Mia leaves me."
Seth held tight to me, kissing my head, "Zoey, I swear that Mia is not leaving you. In fact, she's going to be brand new. Better then she has ever been."
What? Brand new? What was wrong with the old Mia?
"There's nothing wrong with your sister," ah, so I was that readable? "What's happening to Mia…well, it's changing her? But it won't change who she is."
"What is happening then Seth?" I snapped, pulling away slightly so I could catch his eyes.
He sighed heavily, "You were going to find out eventually," swallowing Seth pulled me to my feet, "You know all the stories about the protectors of La Push?" I nodded, holding tighter to his hand, "They're all true. Sam, Jared, Embry, Quil, Jake, Lee, Paul, and me….we're all shifters," I blinked, truly at a loss for what to say, "And Mia is going through her first shift right now."
My mouth opened, but snapped shut, what was I supposed to say? Who should I call? Oh my god! The guy I loved was a total nut job!
"Before you think I'm challenged," Seth whispered, my eyes grew large as he slipped his shirt off. Staring is rude, trust me, I know that. But I really didn't give a fuck about that as Seth stood there shirtless. I was all but eye raping him.
Muscle covered every inch of him, hardened and whip cord strong. His stomach was rippled with a six pack, and his hip bones created a 'v' that disappeared under the top of his jeans. I cleared my throat, trying hard to concentrate.
"Don't freak," Seth ran backwards slowly before turning and jogging into the woods.
I let out every curse word I knew as I exhaled. First, Mia is hurt. Then Seth holds me closer then ever. And then he gets undressed and leaves me alone in the woods? Today is so not my day. Running a hand through my hair I contemplated going home, only realizing a second later that I didn't know the way back.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I held my breathe. Something was behind me. Look? Or don't look? I swallowed and slowly turning around. My eyes widened as I stumbled back a step back. Standing in front of me was a giant russet wolf, staring me straight in the eye.
"Good puppy," I muttered, my voice shaking, "Stay right there. Good boy."
The wolf, if it could, seemed to smile, it's eyes twinkling. Something about that made me stop from turning and running. I looked closer, the wolf doing the same.
"Se-," I stopped. No, it couldn't be.
The wolf nodded it's head, stepping forward and nuzzling my neck.
"Oh my god it is you," I felt all the air in my body rush out as the wolf sat down, it's eyes twinkling again. Seth, Seth, Seth. That's all I could think as I saw there with him, running my fingers through the silky fur, whispering quietly, "This, everything is all true?" Seth nodded his head, got up, and disappeared back into the woods.
"Yeah, everything's true," Seth jogged out from the trees, his shirt clutched in his hand, his jeans wrinkled and dusty.
"So Mia," I swallowed, trying to picture my sister as a….wolf.
"Is a shifter," Seth finished for me and smiled, "Yup."
"What exactly, do you guys…do?"
"We make sure Quileute is safe. We protect the people. And we make sure the vampires stay away."
"Vampires? Like Count Chocula?"
Seth through his head back and laughed, "Not exactly Zo. But yes, vampires."
"Ah," I nodded my head as we both went quiet.
Seth ran a hand through his hair, and pulled his shirt back on…damn, "Uh, I think it's probably alright to go back now."
I fell into step with him, wanting for him to reach out and hold me again. "Seth?"
"Hmm?" He looked down at me, his arm brushing against mine.
"What you said about the other night, about me needing to fix myself-" I started and was cut off.
"I shouldn't have said that to you," Seth shook his head, "It was mean."
"Shut up," I snapped, earning a smile, "You were right. I do need to fix myself. But this morning I thought about what you said, and I realized that it was me who was getting in my own way. And that I shouldn't have done the things I did," taking a deep breathe I finished, praying that he would accept what I was saying, "Seth, I have feelings for you that scare the shit out of me. I've never felt like this for someone before. And I think that's why what you said hurt me so much. So I guess this is me saying I'm sorry."
"Zoey," Seth stopped and turned me to face him, lacing his hands through mine and bringing them to his lips, kissing them before speaking, "I like you a lot too, but I owe you an apology for saying that. I was angry and upset. So I'm sorry too."
I smiled, squeezing his hands, "Seth Clearwater."
"What?" He wore a confused look as I shook my head.
"I," I had to breathe deeply before I did something that I have never done before, "I was wondering if you would maybe like to watch movies or something with me tomorrow?"
Seth smiled widely, "I think that sounds like a pretty sweet thing to do."
I couldn't help my own smile, "It is."
The rest of the walk back to my house I felt as though I was walking on air. Seth never once let go of my hand. It seemed like I could talk with him and he would always be interested in what I was saying. Seth asked so many questions I had to think before I answered. I laughed at the things he would say, and found myself smiling more than I ever had when with a guy.
"MIA!" I screamed as I flung the glass door open.
"ZOEY!" Mia ran to me as I caught her and hugged my twin as tight as I could. I could see what Seth meant. Her skin felt as though it was at least 200 degrees, her hair was thicker than it had ever been, and she seemed to be leaner then previously.
"Oh my god!" I cried as Mia and I kept hugging, both of us holding so tight it was crushing.
"I'm sorry Z," Mia muttered as we finally parted.
"Uh, for what? Turning into a giant puppy?" I cocked my head to the side as she did, both of us smirking.
"You told her?" Paul roared and I jumped in front of Seth.
"Down kujo!" I snapped and Paul cracked a smile.
"Down to business," Leah Clearwater appeared from the kitchen holding a pair of scissors and a towel.
"Oh hell to the no," Mia jumped onto the couch, throwing a pillow at Leah, "Get the fuck away from me Leah!"
"First, watch your language," Paul leaned against the wall, amused, "Second, it has to be done. You can't have it long, you won't be able to move as easily."
"Uh, mucho confused here!" I raised my hand as Seth pulled me onto his lap. Collin was leaning against the table, laughing as Mia ran around the living from Leah.
"She has to cut her hair short, if it's long, your fur gets shaggy," Seth answered for me.
"Get the fuck away from her Leah!" I jumped to my twin's side. Scooping Mia into my arms I ran to the table again, and we crawled under it. I wrapped my arms around her head, "Leave the beautifulness alone!"
"Mia Kimberley," Paul used his 'I'm boss' voice.
"Never!" Mia and I screamed.
"Don't be a baby," Leah laughed, snipping the scissors in the air.
"Don't be a jerk," Mia countered, earning a chorus of laughter.
"Don't be a dirty slut," Leah smirked.
"Don't be a heartless bitch," Mia snapped.
Leah growled. Before I knew it, Leah had grabbed Mia's leg and pulled her out from under the table and threw her into a chair. Paul held her down as Leah dropped the towel on the ground.
"Don't move and I might make sure you look alright," Leah smiled.
Mia kicked out, catching the bitch in the stomach. Leah doubled over, coughing.
"Idea!" I jumped out form under the table, cursing when I hit my head, "I'll cut Mia's hair and she won't complain or fight about it."
"Agree!" Mia and Paul said in unison. I was sure if Leah went next to Mia's head, my sister would be dead.
It took me over two hours to cut Mia's hair. I slammed dunked her head into the bathtub, washing it and fighting her over the shampoo. Then finally I set to detangling it. And finally…the first chop. Mia pretended to cry as I cut the first chunk of long hair. After that she shut up, sulking as the beautiful hair fell to the ground. Seth watched over my shoulder, handing me whatever I asked for. Collin sat at Mia's feet, cracking jokes and making her smile. Paul and the others were in the living room, the TV blaring some video game.
"Done," I stepped back, admiring my work, "You know, it actually doesn't look that bad."
"I will never look in a mirror again," Mia crossed her eyes, making Collin laugh. I smiled and held the mirror up, she shrieked, before smirking, "I look pretty cute."
I laughed loudly as I took my phone out and took a picture of her. Her once long hair was gone, now it was in a choppy layered bob to her chin. Semi-long bangs were pushed to the right side of her face. It fit her somehow, sporty, edgy, slightly preppy. I was a damn good hair cutter.
"Hot would be the correct word dear," Collin stood, catching Mia in a quick kiss as she walked into the living room.
"Ta-da!" She posed dramatically in front of the TV.
"Very cute M," Paul smiled as he paused the game, "Was that so bad?"
"Yes, a part of me died with every snip," Mia snapped playfully before tackling Paul into a hug.
"Girl of many talents," Seth's arms wrapped around my waist as he bent and whispered into my ear.
I smiled, closing my eyes as he rested his forehead against mine.
"Here," I felt something being thrown at me and instinctively reached out to catch it. It was a twenty. Paul growled as he wrestled Mia into a headlock, "Go do something with Seth."
Whaaa? I most have worn that look because everyone laughed.
"Go before I change my mind," Paul cursed when Mia punched him in the side, causing both of them to fall to the floor.
I didn't need to be told twice. Running into my room I put on a pair of clean jeans, a low cut green shirt, and grabbed a hoodie before slipping my feet into my converse. "Thanks Paul love you!" grabbing Seth's hand I ran out the door, only slowing when we were at the end of the street.
"Why the hurry?" Seth laughed, pulling on my hand to slow us down.
"I saw an opening and took it," I winked at him, holding tighter to his hand, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Shoot," Seth smiled as he stuffed his other hand in his pocket.
"Why…why did you start liking me?" I asked quietly, looking down at the sidewalk.
"There's this thing called imprinting," Seth started slowly, "it's like finding the one you were always meant to be with. You see her, and your hers. I imprinted on you," I nodded, considering how to respond, "I liked you before, but never thought I had a chance."
I smiled, "Oh trust me, you had a huge change," Seth bent and kissed my cheek, "Imprinting? It's sort of…."
"Weird?" Seth suggested.
"Cute," I decided with a smirk, "So, you're mine?" He nodded, "You would do anything I say?"
"What are you getting at?"
"Nothing, just that this would be the most awesome relationship I could ever be in."
"Relationship huh?" Seth smirked as I looked down, smirking in embarrassment.
"Well…you know," I explained lamely.
Seth said nothing else as we came to the movies, buying a ticket to some random movie that I randomly pointed to. We made our way into the darkened theater, sitting in the back left corner, Seth's arm thrown across the back of my chair, warming me so that I had to take my hoodie off.
"Is that a shifter thing?" I asked, "being so hot?"
Seth smirked, "We run a pretty high temp. And only a few of us are hot."
I smothered my laugh, "So not what I meant."
He merely winked at me and turned to watch the previews.
Sitting there in a dark theater with Seth Clearwater was the most challenging thing I had ever done in my life. I had been to movies with guys before, but usually the moment it got dark I didn't see much of the movie. Seth played with the ends of my hair, every so often leaning over and whispering something to me. I leaned against him when he put the arm rest up, holding me to his side. I felt myself blush when the star couple finally kissed, and fell to a bed.
I cleared my throat as Seth gave me an amused look, "What's wrong?"
I shook my head, "Nothing."
Smirking, he put a hand under my chin, bringing my face closer to his. Our lips were an inch away, his breath mingled with mine. I closed my eyes, begging him mentally to hurry up and kiss me. Seth's lips barely brushed across mine before he sat back up, smirking as I pouted. My lips tingled from the almost kiss, I wanted to badly for him to reach back and finish it.
By the time the movie ended I was on full on pout mode, only to be surprised into a laugh as Seth started trashing the movie.
"Seriously? What kind action was that? All of that stuff was fake!" Seth shook his head, lacing a hand through mine.
"Well I liked it," I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Well duh you did! You have not seen some of the movies I've seen!" Seth snapped seriously. I couldn't help but laugh at the face he made. He cracked a smile, "But I'm glad you liked it."
We walked back home, only to find it empty. So I showed Seth to my room, we sat on my bed talking, laughing as he told me stories about the pack. I had never felt so comfortable and safe around a guy. I had changed into sweats when he left, pulling my hair into a ponytail as he left the room.
"Beautiful as ever," Seth smiled as he turned the light off. I curled my legs under me as he sat back down, sitting next to me. The moonlight streamed through my window, causing a soft glow across the green walls.
"Thank you," I whispered, leaning my head on his shoulder.
"For what?" Seth asked, leaning his own head against mine.
"For tonight, for being so understanding and kind and amazing," I rushed out, "thank you for being you."
Seth gently lifted my head, "Your welcome," and his lips met mine. I felt like the world had stopped turning as I fell into his kiss. Lightening shot through my veins, every nerve ending becoming ignited as he ran his hands down my arms. I groaned as his tongue met mine, tasting summer and peppermint. He smirked before breaking the kiss, pecking one more time.
"What you said earlier," Seth began, lacing my hands in his, "about the greatest relationship? I've been thinking about that," I held my breath, "You still want that?"
Oh hell yes! "Yeah," I whispered. Seth cupped one side of my face.
Leaning in, he spoke against my lips, "Zoey, would you be my girlfriend?"
"Yes," I pushed my face towards him, his lips pressing against mine before separating, "Yes, I would love to."
"Good," Seth smiled before meeting my lips again.
And this time, I wasn't going to let myself get in the way.