I'm back! The grip of writer's block has loosened and after my last exam on the 27th, I will be updating all my stories regularly. I was even planning to make another story for the Secret Life of the American Teenager, but now I'm definitely reconsidering with the way the show is now. If you dislike ranting, skip past this and the disclaimer for the actual chapter. Okay, fair warning, here is my ranting. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How does someone go from creating a show like 7th Heaven to this? It seems as if the writers are just destroying every female character except Amy just so nobody has a choice but to ship Amy/Ricky. Adrian: Knocked her up. Ashley: Turned her crazy. Grace: Gateway sex. Madison: Jack and the spoilers claim some creepy older dude. Lauren: ANNOYING, BUT CONSISTENT. It's horrible! And they've made the show so that Amy's all mature over the course of a few episodes. Like what the hell is going on? If they had to mess everyone up, make it happen slowly throughout a season so it's believable. Everyone just took a nose dive or a head rise. It's okay to do that in fanfiction, because in fanfiction people have a set pairing, a set plot, and tend to make up for it with other ideas and other characters. But in original fiction, it's bad. It takes away choice. Before Ashley went crazy, I could've said I was doing a fanfic Ashley/Ricky and gotten a, 'Oh, that's cool. I'm more of a Ramy fan, though,' now I'd get, 'WHAT? WHY? ASHLEY'S SUCH A BRAT. AMY'S MUCH BETTER NOW.' And really, for the duration of two whole episodes, she has been, from what I've seen. Because I didn't watch all of the finale, it was too horrible. I've read spoilers for the rest of the episodes to see if I want to watch it and I'm not impressed. I now know why people are calling the show Secret Life of the American Idiot. I don't know what to say other than it's giving teenagers and even kids impressions that it really shouldn't be about sex, teen pregnancy, teen marriage, and the list goes on. I could rant more, but I'll give way to the chapter for now.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Secret Life of the American Teenager, and I wouldn't want to at the moment, too much to resurrect.

Ashley's Point of View

"Okay, Ashley, easy," Janessa said, easing me into the hospital bed. Janessa was the nurse from a few days ago that told me about her family. I learned her name after asking one of the gossipy volunteers. I figured if she knew about Ricky, and I knew about her dads, we should be on a first name basis.

I mumbled 'ow' a few times. My stomach was still really sore from the surgery and I had been told that it would stay that way for about a month until everything healed, inside and out.

"Is there likely to be a day when I can walk to the bathroom by myself?"

"In about three days, after you're discharged," Janessa said, and then grinned, "when you're home by yourself where it's either do or get a diaper."

I glared at her and was about to say something back to her; Ben came in, though, so I couldn't. Ben came complete with yellow and peach coloured roses, a card, and a teddy bear.

I told Janessa, "We'll talk later," and we would if I had a say in it.

"Hey, Benjamin," I said, giving him a small grin. I had a feeling what this conversation would be about and if I was right, this wasn't going to be a fun visit. No reason to start it off badly, though.

"Hey, Ashley. How are you feeling?" Ben asked, sitting down next to me as Janessa slipped out of the room. Ben placed the gifts on the night table beside me.

"I'm in some pain, but that's normal," I said. "What about you?"

"I need some advice," Ben said.

"Hair advice? Aww… Benjamin, I think we need to consult What Not to Wear for that one," I said, trying to mess with him a little bit.

"It's not–"

"So it's shoes? Nails? Boy advice?" I asked, laughing even though it hurt.

"Are you done?" Ben asked, smiling a little. I think he was happy I was laughing even if it was at his expense.

I grinned and said, "Yeah, yeah, go ahead."

"It's about Adrian," Ben said.

"I figured," I said, motioning with a hand for him to continue.

"It's just," Ben said, struggling for words, "I'm relieved about the abortion? I'm not glad that she got rid of the baby but, I don't know."

"You feel sad that she got rid of the baby, that your kid really doesn't exist anymore. At the same time, though, you're happy things don't have to change, that you don't have to accept being a father at sixteen because there's no one to be a father to," I said, and then continued. "That slight happiness makes you feel guilty because it's still a human life, the life of your kid. You see how Adrian is struggling with the impact of her decision and think that what you're feeling is horrible, and you want to ask Adrian if there is any part of her that feels what you feel, just so you can know you're not the only one."

"Yeah, is it cruel that there's even a part of me that feels relieved?" Ben asked.

"I don't think it is," I said. "You've seen Amy with John and all the stress she has been under and you've seen Ricky and the stress that being a father has put on him and then you can't help but think you've dodged something, as harsh as that sounds. Children can be great, but they can also be hard and complicated. It's okay to feel however you're feeling, Ben."

"Can I talk to Adrian about it? You know… without seeming cruel?"

"It depends how you word it. Try to explain it to her as best you can. You need to talk about this with her, not me. She's the one who got pregnant and made the decision to get rid of it, you're the one that got her pregnant and let her make the decision. Talk to her about what you're feeling, it's personal and should only be between the two of you."

"But what if she hates me?" Ben asked. "She can barely look at me now as it is."

"You're barely able to look at her, too. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she feels like you hate her?" I asked.

"Why would I hate her?" Ben asked incredulously.

"Why should she hate you?" I countered.

"Because I got her pregnant," Ben said.

"I've told this to Amy, now I'll tell it to you. It takes two to make a stupid sexual decision. You got her pregnant but she let herself get pregnant. She got in that car, she didn't say no, and from what I saw that night–"

"YOU SAW US!"

"Yes–"

"OH. MY. GOD. Why didn't you say something?" Benjamin asked.

"I try not to meddle in people's business," I said, "and what was I supposed to do? Knock on the car window mid-boink?"

Benjamin repeated himself, "OH. MY. GOD."

"Talk to her, Benjamin."

"I can't believe you saw us… you know…"

"Doing the deed? Doing 'it'? Screwing? Having sex? Boinking?"

"Oh, GOD, please never say the word 'boink' again."

"Really, people around here can't go five minutes without saying 'sex' and you have an issue with the word 'boink'?"

"You have an issue with the word 'flirt'," Ben countered.

"Fine, fine, but if it helps, I didn't see much," I said. "Just some skin and a couple expressions before I bolted to safe territory."

"OH. GOD. Leaving now!" Ben said, getting up and backing up towards the door.

"There really isn't much room in that car, is there?"

The door slammed shut. I started laughing, not caring that it hurt. Benjamin was definitely going to talk to her now, though. If only to say I caught a glimpse, which I did. There were some things in the world I'd like to see and some I wouldn't. Benjamin and Adrian was somewhere on the try-to-burn-from-memory scale.

I involuntarily yawned. I was so tired lately. I had to heal and sleep was the best way to do that, and my body knew it.

I fluffed the flat as a board pillow and went to sleep.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was a large bouquet of roses, not red, but gray, on my bedside table. They were right next to Ben's gifts, though placed strategically in my line of few quite well. The roses had been dyed gray and to be honest, looked great. The roses were a dark gray in the center and went lighter gray going outwards. I counted them, twenty-four gray roses. There was a card placed right in the middle, taped to one of the roses.

Ashley,

How are you feeling? I heard about the ulcers.

It must have hurt. I also heard about Ricky coming

to your aid. Nice of him, wasn't it?

- Camelia

"This bitch is getting seriously annoying," I said under my breath.

"What bitch?" Ricky asked, coming into the room. Before he sat down, he gave me a light kiss.

"Camelia. She just left me these," I said, point to the roses. "I thought you were handling it."

"I'm trying," Ricky said. "But whenever I talk to her she just makes a creepy love face at me and acts like each time we have a conversation I'm proposing marriage or something."

I frowned. I didn't like Camelia's obsession with Ricky or her growing obsession with me.

"If she does anything else, we call the cops, right?" I asked.

"Okay, deal," Ricky said. "We can't take anymore chances."

"So now that we've talked about Camelia, what about us?" I asked, biting the side of my lip and looking at him. I wanted to know what I was to him. If I was his friend, his friend with benefits, his love interest, or his girlfriend.

"Do you want there to be an us?" Ricky asked, giving me his famous half smile. I loved his half smile, but I didn't want it right now. I wanted him to answer my question, not give me one of his own.

"Yes," I said levelly, preparing myself for any incoming emotional trauma. "I don't want to be just your friend. I don't want to be your friend with benefits, either."

"That leaves girlfriend," Ricky said.

"It also leaves love interest," I said.

"How is a love interest different from a friend with benefits?" Ricky asked.

"Love interests date and try to figure out if they can be more. Friends with benefits don't date, they boink."

"Boink?"

"Yeah, Benjamin had an issue with it, too."

"Ben stopped by?" Ricky asked.

"Yeah, earlier. Before Camelia's flowers arrived. Ben wanted to talk about something and he brought me a few things," I said, pointing to the flowers, teddy bear, and card.

"Interesting," Ricky said. I waited a second to see if he'd elaborate, but when he didn't, I sighed.

"Love interests," Ricky said.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Love interests," Ricky said. "That's what I want to be. I don't want to rush into a relationship and because this is already going to be complicated, I don't want us to mess anything up."

"Okay," I said, smiling.

"After you're able to walk without assistance, we'll have a date… uh, what exactly do people do on dates?" Ricky asked.

"You don't know what people do on dates?" I asked.

"I don't date," Ricky said.

"I know," I said, "but haven't you seen the movies?"

"Nobody ever has a successful date on screen," Ricky said. "Someone always gets a call in the middle and the date gets cut short, or someone gets hit, or the whole point is some guy that doesn't know how to date screwing up the first date."

I laughed a little, careful of my side, and said, "Dinner and a movie. It's a good combination. And if we see the movie first, it gives us something to discuss during dinner, or if we're seeing the movie after dinner, we can discuss current movies."

"How many dates have you been on?" Ricky asked.

I kind of hung out with Thomas, but there was only really one date in the whole time I'd known him. Technically, Grant and I went on two dates. I went on a few dates with a guy named Seth in grade eight, but that quickly ended after he called Amy a slut and I kneed him in the groin. I had a few other scattered dates after that, but none of them really panned out.

"A few," I said.

"Okay, what's the best date you've ever been on?"

Unfortunately, one of my best dates had been with Seth. Seth had planned out a whole evening for us, there had been an indoor film festival about an hour away by bus and he'd made reservations at a great restaurant, but it didn't work out like that. The bus broke down in some random town about a half an hour from the film festival and a half an hour from home with no buses coming or going from that place for three hours. We had to exit the busted bus, which wouldn't have been a bad thing normally, only that day it was raining worse than I'd ever seen it rain. Seth and I couldn't even call anyone because my cellphone was dead and his couldn't get reception. We had to make a run for some stupid little coffee shop, but it was closed because of the storm. No one wanted to go out in the damn rain, the only place open had been some dingy little motel where the cost to rent a room was dirt-cheap because the place was so crappy. Seth was easily able to pay and we spent the whole day in total misery at that place. We fell asleep and missed the earliest available bus back, too. We finally made it home after seven hours of being stuck in that town and eating out of vending machines, plus a half hour bus ride. I wasn't sure how that qualified as my best date ever. It just was. He put so much effort into the date and it all fell apart because of some crappy bus and a huge storm. The indoor film festival started at around three that day, too, I didn't make it home until well past ten. I just walked on in and nobody even noticed I left in the first place. Yeah, I really had no idea how that date was the best.

"Uhm, you probably wouldn't want to duplicate it," I said, grinning.

"Why?" Ricky asked.

"During the date, it was like the date from hell," I said, "but then after the date, it was hilarious and my favourite because both Seth and I survived it."

"What'd you do? Fight a war?" Ricky asked jokingly.

"Almost, that rain was like gunfire," I said, smiling.

"See, now you have me interested."

"Ricky, some things are better left unsaid," I said in my favourite all-knowing voice.

"Okay, can I at least know why you broke up with the guy?" Ricky asked.

"I wasn't really his girlfriend," I said, "I just went on a few dates with him. We stopped dating after I kneed him in the groin."

Ricky started laughing, "What'd you do that for?"

"He called Amy a slut, so that was the end of that."

Ricky continued laughing.

"And anyway, I'm pretty sure it was a mutual agreement never to date again after that," I said. "For me, because he insulted my family. For him, because I kneed him in the groin, and it's probably a guy rule that if a girl knees you in the groin in front of half the student body, you never ask her out again."

"Yeah, it probably is," Ricky said, shaking his head.

I smiled at him and said, "I like this."

"Like what?" Ricky asked.

"The privacy. We don't have everyone poking their noses in our business. The minute we tell people, that will all change. I'll miss it."

"We don't have to tell people if you don't want to," Ricky said. "It'll probably be better if we don't. We don't need to listen to people judging us until we're sure that there's even something to judge."

"So, secret love interests?" I asked.

"Secret love interests," Ricky said, and then he kissed me.