Pillow Talk: Ch 2

Separation Anxiety

The day had been painfully long and unmerciful, as Aang had at last found the conclusion of his duties as Avatar fulfilled and made his way wearily to his bedchamber. It had been a day of messages and summons, as the Avatar's presence had been requested at the Earth Kingdom city of Omashu. For whatever foolish reason, the last remaining rogue agents of the Dai Li had attempted to establish themselves within the city limits, and soon learned their folly in the form of King Bumi, who had no desire to permit their unsolicited activities within his borders. Their second tragic mistake had been attempting to establish themselves while visiting master earthbender, Toph Bei Fong was in the city as well. To say the Dai Li were quickly, and painfully subdued was a ridiculous understatement and a disservice to the skill of arguably the two most powerful earthbenders on the planet.

Thus, letters had been arriving all day, both from Bumi and from Toph's attendants, requesting the Avatar's presence in the city to help determine what would be the best way to deal with the Dai Li. Aang had suspected that his presence had more to do with a social visit by his two, very dear friends than any matters of the state, but it was an official request, and the young airbender did not feel he had the right to refuse. With that in mind, most of his day had been spent preparing for his journey and sending follow up correspondence to confirm his arrival.

So now, after the long and tiring day, he wanted nothing more than to flop boneless, on the plush mattress and let sleep claim him. But as always, he was ever mindful of Katara, whom had gone to bed a few hours before and was already asleep, thus he was careful not to wake his beautiful waterbender. Easing himself on his side of the bed and snuggling up next to Katara's back, he wrapped one arm over her sleeping form and held her close, though he was quite surprised by the feeling of her strong fingers that gripped his wrist and pulled it closer to her, as if feeding on the closeness of his body to hers.

Feeling eased and comforted simply by Katara's company, Aang laid his head on his pillow before asking softly, "Did I wake you?"

There was no response to his inquiry, and Aang had assumed she had fallen back to sleep. Feeling her body shivering beneath him however, and assuming she was chilled, he attempted to pull his arm free of her grip to retrieve the covers and pull them up around her, only to feel her fingers tighten around his wrist again, dissuading his assumption of her present, restful condition and preventing even, the slightest absence of physical contact. Aang responded in kind, pulling his arm, and Katara, closer to himself and lay his head down to sleep, only to feel the complete shattering of his world as the broken sob forced its way from the lips of his lover.

"Katara?" Aang asked, his voice sounding fearful as he reverently spoke her name and sat up in bed. Using firebending, the Avatar lit a candle across the room and leaned over Katara's body to see large, fat tears squeezing beneath her closed lids as she turned her face shamefully into the pillow, as if desiring to hide her grief from the man she loved. "Katara, what's wrong?"

Inhaling sharply and releasing a shaky breath, the lovely waterbender shook her head as though too pained to voice her grief. For whatever reason, she turned further away from Aang, her face digging deeper into the pillow.

Leaning over her shoulder and whispering comforting words into her ear, Aang pleaded with the young woman, desiring her to open up to him and share her problems, but was met with only stark refusal. Wrapping his arms around her from behind and holding her as close to his body as he could, Aang rested his face against her bare shoulder, feeling himself helpless to ease the burden of this most precious woman. Failing in his duties as Avatar, failing to protect the world was insignificant to knowing he could not spare Katara the distress that had taken root within her, and he begged all his past lives to grant him the wisdom to remedy her distress, and his guilt for not seeing her anguish sooner.

Minutes, hours, days…all transcended eternity that was spent between the beats of a breaking heart as the young woman fought passionately to regain mastery of her emotions. Desperately swiping at her eyes and swallowing the great burden that gripped her heart with its relentless strangle, Katara at last took a few calming breaths, "I-I'm sorry."

"Katara, what's wrong?"

"I-It's nothing Aang," the young woman said, and though she had denied her emotions, her voice was thick with grief and feeling. "Just go back to sleep."

"Katara, that was not nothing," Aang said, sitting up fully and pulling Katara into a sitting position, directing her body so that she faced him. Cupping his hand against her cheek, Aang carefully used his thumb to wipe away the unshed tears that still clung to her lashes. "Talk to me Katara, please…"

She shuddered at the sound of her name spoken with such desperate longing, that she knew she could not resist him. She equally knew what she would see when she opened her eyes to gaze into his relentlessly stormy orbs, knowing full well that whatever resolve she had to shoulder this burden on her own would vanish as she lost herself to him. For all the love he possessed for the world, for all his desire to protect the fragile peace that existed since the end of the war, it all paled in comparison to his need, his compulsion to protect and to love her, and many times Katara was left awed by the depths of his love, while other times, she felt unworthy of it. Her present, emotional state left her feeling the greater burden of unworthiness, and she was shamed by that sensation.

As she knew she would, she lost all hope of resisting his persistent inquiry the moment she gazed into his worried and desperate eyes, and she felt further shame for putting further stress on him. "It's just…I don't want you to go." At these words, she threw herself forward and clung tightly to his tunic, as though she would drown should she release him.

This seemed to confuse Aang further as he furrowed his brow in thought. She had never displayed this degree of anguish for his frequent trips, and he suspected perhaps Katara was fearful of the danger in dealing with the Dai Li. But that didn't seem right either, given that both Bumi and Toph were in the city, and either were a match for a whole legion of rogue earthbenders, and the didn't even count for Aang being the Avatar. Still, her present distress was real, and Aang could care less what the source of it was, only that she suffered from it and he wanted to see her smile, not her tears. "If you're worried about the Dai Li, don't be. They're secured and…"

"No, it has nothing to do with that," Katara said, shaking her head in denial against Aang's chest. "I don't want you to go. I-I don't ever want to see you to go."

This left Aang at a complete loss and he was without a clue as to what caused this grief to the woman in his arms. "I don't understand Katara. You've never been this adamant about my Avatar duties before. Why only now?…"

"No Aang," she whispered as her emotions again threatened to take control of her. "I go through this every time you leave, it's just I hold it together long enough until after you've gone. I'm sorry, it's just getting harder to keep in all inside lately…"

"But, why haven't you ever mentioned anything sooner?" Aang asked desperately, pulling her close to him and closing his own eyes in shame. Now it was his turn to feel regret for not noticing the desperate grief of the woman whom he would sacrifice the world for, and knowing that it was his actions and inattentiveness that had caused her torment. "Why didn't you tell me how you felt?"

"Because…" she began, again fighting to regain her composure. "I never wanted to hold you back. I never wanted to burden you with my insecurities. You have responsibilities that are more important than my own needs…"

"Don't ever think that Katara," Aang said, his hands cupping her perfect face as he urgently poured every emotion, every bit of love he held for her through his voice and from his eyes. The love he possessed, his love for her was palpable, and it left Katara breathless. "There is nothing in this world more precious than you, nothing I need more than you. You're my forever girl." Aang said, fixing her with a lopsided grin and being rewarded by the tension-breaking laugh from Katara. He again pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her tightly as though never letting go. She responded in kind, and it never ceased to amaze the airbender how perfect they fit together, as though their bodies and spirits were made to fit exactly as they were.

Aang had heard scholars, even some guru's mention that true love was a force of balance, that love was an act of compromise and understanding, but Aang tended to disagree with that notion. It wasn't balance; it was completion, for Katara made him whole, just as he completed her. Two people, one life…that was what love truly was.

Katara had snuggled deeper into Aang's embrace, and after several minutes, fully relaxed into his arms, her breathing and stress vanishing as she was comforted in the one place in this world that truly belonged to her. "I'm sorry," Katara said again, her words a bare whisper as she closed her eyes in comfort. After a moment, she continued. "I need to tell you something. Do you…do you want to know what my worst day was?"

The question struck Aang as odd but he felt it had something to do with Katara's reason for emotionally collapsing on herself as she did. As he considered the question, a few scattered memories came to mind, the death of Katara's mother, Aang getting shot by lightning, facing Azula, but Katara's words halted any musings. "It's not what you think it is…"

Chuckling as though the initial question had been moot, Aang shook his head. "What, can you read my mind now?"

"Reading you has never been difficult," Katara said lovingly as she pulled away to look at Aang, her playful smile soon disappearing as she returned to the question at hand. "No, my worse day was…I'm sure you remember the day Azula shot you with lightning while we were in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se."

"Yeah, that was one of the days I thought would be your worse."

Shaking her head, Katara continued. "It wasn't. Not my worst day anyway. But you had survived, barely, but you were still alive. And seeing you lying in bed, so frail and fragile, it was terrifying…but I knew you'd be okay. I knew you'd be okay because I was there to take care of you. As arrogant as it sounds to say aloud, I wouldn't have let anything happen to you."

"And you were right," Aang said, his voice echoing in love and compassion as she caressed Katara's face. "You brought me back. Not that I could ever stay away from you."

"But you did Aang," Katara replied, another traitorous tear falling from her eye and burning its way down her cheek. Shaking her head and fighting to steady herself, she continued, "After that incident in the catacombs and you recovered, after you felt that you failed Ba Sing Se, you left. You wanted to fix this problem on your own; you wanted to do it by yourself. You deserted us…you deserted me.

"You don't know how scared I was. You were just gone. We had no way to know which direction you left or where you were headed. There was a storm brewing and you were weakened and alone, without us, without…me. Part of me was afraid I'd never see you again, and some part of me has never been able to let that go, that fear that you wanted to do everything alone, even if you knew you couldn't.

"I know you felt like you were just protecting us," Katara whispered, her voice shaky once more, but she paused and willed herself under control. "That this was your way of keeping us safe. But while we were searching, Sokka said that, maybe it was for the best if we didn't find you. Maybe we were all just holding you back. As quickly as we dismissed it, I knew some part of Sokka and even Toph believed there was some part of that, that might be true. And I guess, eventually, I believed it also, at least partly." Katara finished, her eyes raising to lock Aang's and revealing every bit of love and passion for the airbender that he revealed every time he looked into her eyes. "So, every time you leave…that little piece of guilt, that little sense that maybe I'm just a burden. It comes back. I know it's silly, and I know I'm being irrational, but I'm just reminded of that day."

When Katara had at last finished, Aang hung his head in shame as he took several steadying breaths of his own. "I'm so, so, so sorry Katara. I never knew you felt this way. I just, well…" he began, but fell silent as though looking for the right words that would justify his thoughts. "I never wanted to force this life on you. As the Avatar, I'm expected to travel and fly all over the world to attend to my duties. I had only wanted to give you some stability, at least as much as I could provide. That's why I've never taken you with me on my trips. I just, always wanted you to have a home and stability. It's something I've never been able to give you."

Cradling his face in her hands, Katara pressed her lips to his. It was a strong, but gentle kiss. Confident and assured, yet soft and alluring, and as his mouth responded to the attention of her ministrations, he found himself being drawn into the passion and love she held for him, and the desire that seemed slightly darker, and resided just beneath the surface. He had often commented, when she kissed him like this, that if she were the ocean, he'd long since be lost to the depths.

"Aang," Katara spoke, her lips tantalizingly grazing his. Her voice weighed heavily with the obsession that was this man in her arms and the sound of his voice, spoken in such quivering desire, that he was left wanting more. "My stability is not given to me by this house. It's right here, with you and nowhere else. That's all I've ever needed, to be right here, with you, like this forever."

For several long minutes, the two simply sat on their bed, holding one another, finding comfort and completion in each other's arms, until finally, Aang pulled away from Katara and left the room. The waterbender was left surprised by the sudden departure of her lover, and the chill she felt from the absence of his body only added to her ache of not having him near her. But as soon as he left, he returned, his travel satchel purposely slung over his shoulder. As she watched him expectantly, he opened the satchel and upended the bag, dumping its contents on the floor in a heap before returning to his place on the bed.

"Aang, what?…" Katara asked, before the Avatar's lips found hers again and returned all the depths of his love for her in that single kiss. If Katara's lips had the effect of drowning, then Aang's kisses left Katara breathless and windswept. Their love was natural, it was dangerous, but most of all, it was beautiful.

-The End

A/N: Not sure how this turned out. It was a lot longer than I intended and I think it may have drug on longer than I wanted. Anyway, here is another chapter for Pillow Talk. I'm thinking this may just be a series of One Shots that all share the same continuity, eventually adding new pairings such as Sokka/Suki or Zuko/Mai. We'll see.

As always, if you're kind enough to read, please be kind enough to review. Thanks