A/N: Story takes place after Season 1, Episode 3: The Southern Air Temple.

Pillow Talk

Chapter 7: A Little Bit of Comfort

Night was a time for peace, for dreams and the sweet release of all the daily concerns that weigh heavily upon the conscious mind. It was a time for stillness and beauty, of comfort and grace, when stars perforated the heavens and the moon, in gentle luminous, descended its soothing benevolence upon the world. The entire world seemed to find peace in their dreams, with the exception of the young boy who found naught but terrors and nightmares whenever he closed his eyes.

The temple was destroyed, his people gone. His home, his traditions, his history…all of it vanished like the fleeting dreams fading in the light of the morning sun. And yet it was not a dream. It was the terrible, unspeakable reality that had become his life as he revisited the image of his beloved Gyatso's decaying bones among a plethora of Fire Nation soldiers whenever the young Avatar closed his eyes. And though he was not present to witness the last moments of his master's life, the events played themselves out before him in eerily terrifying detail. The fear, the terror, the consuming grief that Gyatso must have endured in those last few minutes of life brought an acute clarity to Aang's mind that strangled the air from his lungs.

At first, his tears fell silently, rolling from his eyes and along the gentle curve of his cheek as quietly as the whispering wind that moved and shaped the clouds. It was an anguish he did not wish to share with his traveling companions, because in truth… they wouldn't understand, they couldn't possibly understand. He was the last of his kind, the last airbender, the last of his people to uphold the old traditions, and the depths of the reality of all he witnessed brought a tremor to his heart as the first of his heavy sobs ripped its way from the depths of his soul and voiced itself beyond the swell of his lips.

He had become only partially aware of the piercing agony that had escaped his lips, driving in intensity through the center of his heart and shaking his small frame in the fit of building grief that, once released, could not be contained within him any longer. A pitiful wave of misery, loneliness and failure had rooted itself within him, building in intensity until it fell upon what little resolve he possessed until the succumbing of hot, fat tears and screaming dissolution fell from Aang's eyes and lips.

So desperate and pronounced was the pain pouring from him, that he failed to recognize the stirring form of the young waterbender who woke under the sounds of his grieving lamentation. As she turned to her side and faced the quivering form of the young Avatar, her heart nearly broke at the distress pouring from his curled form. "Aang?" Katara asked softly, her head tilting as she saw the stiffening of his body and the deep inhaling sniffles that came from her friend. "Aang, are you alright?" The question was unnecessary. She knew the answer without even asking, but when he did not speak and only managed to nod his head, the reaction prompted her to crawl from her sleeping roll and make her way to him.

As she peered over his curled form, her heart all but shattered at the unspeakable tension and crippling grief that etched itself into every line of Aang's peaceful face. His features were wet with tears and his eyes squeezed tight against the horrors he could not bring himself to forget. At the enticing touch of her warm hand against his chilled shoulder, Aang redoubled his efforts to control his emotions, failing desperately as another loud sob burst from his lips.

"Aang, talk to me, please," Katara begged, moving around his body to face him as she placed both hands on either of his shoulders and struggling to pull him upright into an awkward embrace. "You…you're not alone Aang. I'm here, and Sokka's here and we're not going to leave you. So please…talk to me…" the young woman cried, her words breaking in desperation as she struggled to keep the tears welling in her own eyes from her voice. "Please…"

The last, pleading request from the lovely waterbender broke through Aang's emotional wall, causing the airbender to lunge forward against Katara's shoulder and cling to her as though letting go would result in him tumbling back into the abyss of misery he did not wish to return. For several long minutes that stretched indeterminately between the faltering beats of Aang's withering heart, the tears fell in waves of grief that shattered the boyish joy of the Avatar. He had lost all sense of himself and the world served only to disillusion his hopeless spirit with the never-ending memories that danced across his mind's eye.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" Katara prompted when Aang's heavy tears had settled into subdued hiccups and infrequent sniffles.

Shaking his head in reluctance, Aang spoke in a voice that was as weak and broken as he was. "You wouldn't understand Katara."

Though hurt that her friend could easily discount that his pain and suffering could not be shared by another…shared by her, she fought back the bitter sting his words elicited within her. He had no way to know about what happened to her mother, to know what that strangling grief had caused her and cost her. How could he know if she never told him? But then, equally, she became aware that this was not about her pain, but Aang's, and it was all she could do to hold the youth in her arms and shelter him from the desperate shaking that had overtaken his body.

Pressing her forehead against the crook of his neck as she squeezed her arms tight around him, she spoke in softly comforting tones that burrowed beyond Aang's agony. "I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now Aang. But…the monks aren't gone you know. They still exist within you and, I can't pretend to ever replace your lost family, but I hope you'll at least let me try. You're not alone Aang, I promise you that."

Again Aang shook his head, a clear sign that Katara had not at all grasped the source of his distress. "I know you and Sokka will Katara, but that's not…what this is about. You don't understand, you couldn't…" His words hitched as a new wave of tears flooded from him and he collapsed against the young woman again, holding her tightly in his desperation.

Confused and a bit offended that he could so easily dismiss her empathy, Katara fought back her hurt once again and barreled forward. "Then help me understand Aang. If this isn't about what the Fire Nation did, then what is it about?"

Pulling away from Katara and staring into her brilliantly blue eyes, he took her compassion as a source of strength before swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat. "It's about what we learn as monks Katara," he paused again to redouble his efforts to maintain control before once again stumbling forward. "As an Air Nomad, our primary course of study is that, all life is not only precious, it's sacred. All life, from the tiniest mosquito-gnat, must be revered. We take our vows very seriously, that life must not only be preserved, but protected.

"It takes many years of deep meditation to become enlightened. Protecting life is only one small part of that, but the true enlightened monk relies on spiritual enlightenment in the absence of worldly needs and luxuries. They separate themselves from worldly desires and honor all life. Gyatso," Aang paused, choking on the name of his beloved master. "Gyatso was an enlightened monk. He respected all life, loved life and held no connection to worldly possessions."

"He sounded like a great man," Katara replied soothingly, pulling Aang against her once more to provide as much comfort as she could while gently rubbing his back. She wasn't sure what else to say to him however and could think to do nothing more than comfort him, support him and be his rock if he needed it. The tightening of his grip echoed his need of just how much he needed that stabilizing support.

"The thing is," Aang continued brokenly, burying his fact into Katara's shoulder in a hope to hold back the tide of emotion once more. "When I found Gyatso, his body…it was surrounded by dead Fire Nation soldiers. I can't help but think, what happened? What could have happened for Gyatso to forsake his fundamental beliefs and kill those soldiers? How desperate did he have to be? Wh-what did he witness to give up the single ideal that defined his existence. I can't imagine what would have driven him to do that, and I can't help but imagine what took place in the Air Temple for the monks to forsake all their beliefs and kill. What could have happened?"

And thus, Katara at last discovered the source of Aang's anxiety. It was not that he was questioning what could have taken place to destroy his culture, but how strong were his beliefs in the sanctity of life and his efforts to follow his fellow monks, become enlightened as they were, if they were forced to kill to defend themselves? Were the teachings of Gyatso and the others merely words, or was it that the ideas of true enlightenment only served your purposes so long as you wished to uphold them?

The murder of his people had not only left Aang with the knowledge that he was all that remained of his heritage; but it had stripped his faith the very core of its fundamental principle, shaking his commitment to follow in the path of his people and his master. And despite his best effort, he felt betrayed by the death committed by the monks, and he felt sickened of himself for feeling that.

For all the things Katara had experienced, she had never known what it meant to lose hope in the founding beliefs of what essentially made her who she was. This was exactly the torment Aang was suffering, and she could do nothing but hold and whisper words that were that were empty, while a fresh wave of tears echoed from the depths of his despair.

She held him tightly to her, her own eyes clouding in anguish over the suffering that drowned Aang. Her only comfort in all of this was, at least he did not have to suffer alone. That was her only salvation.

-End

A/N: Well, I think the concept was better than the story turned out but who knows. Anyway, reviews are always appreciated. Thanks.