You Lost Me

Chapter Five - Acceptance

"What do you mean he left?" Elena asked Stefan who still had the tray that he got her breakfast to be served on his bed.

"I don't think it's permanent as there were still a few clothes in his closet but most of them are gone, along with some personal stuff I know he always takes with him when he's moving out" he shrugged but didn't like one bit her reaction.

Elena never had the chance to talk to Damon, she slept most of the previous day, after her attack and when she first woke up he didn't seem to be around but he was. After waiting less than ten minutes he decided to use his brains and call Stefan instead of waiting for his brother to arrive. He was impatient like that. He quickly reported how Katherine has attacked Elena and that he had fed her on his blood to ensure she'd live. Surely it didn't take Stefan longer than ten minutes to finally arrive and Damon even thought why. But as he saw Elena stirring he moved to the dark places of the boarding house. He was still around but she couldn't see him and when Stefan finally stormed off through the front door, he left.

The nearness bothered him. He didn't want to care, not even if she was injured or in danger. He wanted all the memories and feelings to just go away but it didn't work like that anymore so he decided to leave himself. He didn't know for how long, to where, nothing. He just didn't want to test his own emotions around her when Katherine made sure she was playing with all her weapons. Elena was Stefan's problem as much as Katherine and both brunettes made it crystal clear that they didn't want anything to do with him, so he'd step back without further struggle.

"But why did he leave? Katherine could have killed me yesterday and he decides to just leave?" Elena tried to use her anger to cover her pain but she was again deeply hurt by the older brother. It was clearer and clearer that she meant nothing to him.

"I don't know. Damon didn't exactly say a lot just that you were hurt and he's given you his blood just in case, so I should keep an eye on you for the following twenty-four hours" Stefan looked carefully to all the emotions written in his girlfriend's eyes. She was trying to pretend to not be hurt but it was so easy to see that she was.

"He gave me his blood?" she was astonished. It certainly didn't match the thoughts she just had crossing her mind. If she really was nothing to him then why give her his blood? It made no sense and she was even more confused now.

"My brother doesn't tell what goes in that mind of his, Elena but he's serious when he said he wanted nothing to do with Katherine's mess. Maybe when he saw you hurt he decided he has had enough or maybe he's just spending some days with Carla or traveling around. Damon is that unpredictable" Stefan didn't mention Carla for nothing. When he arrived in the house in the previous day he had felt the redhead's scent stronger than he felt Katherine's so he knew she was probably there for longer than Katherine did and maybe Elena met her. And even if he didn't that was the perfect occasion to let Elena know about his brother's girl. He was curious about her reaction.

"Do you know her?" Elena pretended to ask casually but of course she failed miserably and Stefan appraised her emotions even closer. She felt uncomfortable about that subject and that definitely didn't make him any happier.

"Yes, she came by some times. Damon and her have been spending a lot of time together" Stefan exaggerated because he knew Damon wasn't that close to the girl but he wanted to see where Elena would take that conversation.

"It's just like him to be that selfish. What's the time?" she quickly changed the subject, showing clear uneasiness about it.

"Almost two why?" he frowned at her feeble attempt to ignore it.

"It means in over a couple of hours it'll be no more risks for me to turn, right?" she was now showing her deep concern about this subject. She knew if she stayed with Stefan for as long as her heart wanted, she'd have to consider changing at some point but that was definitely not now.

"Maybe a few more hours, just so we can be sure" he caressed her, brushing the hair off of her beautiful face.

"Good, I definitely don't want to become a vampire, let alone with Damon's blood but I do know a thing or two we could do to make time pass quicker" she winked to him pushing him by his collar and bringing his body to cover hers. She missed her boyfriend. The whole pretension of their breakup was really hard for her and now that Katherine knew it was a lie she could finally have some passionate sex with him. As quick and involuntarily as that thought crossed her mind another one came along: Carla's moans in the previous day. Katherine was right when she pointed out her much less enthusiastic groans when she and Stefan had sex, even when they were publicly together and her mind automatically set on Damon and how the female vampire assured that the older Salvatore was better in the deed.

Elena brushed the thought off quickly as she felt Stefan's kisses on her chest. Sex wasn't everything and she was sure she loved the best Salvatore, the one that was loyal, passionate, loving and gentle and she wouldn't for one second want to try the reckless, careless, selfish one.

Stefan wasn't all wrong about his assessments. Damon was indeed at Carla's place but he wasn't planning to stay for a lot longer. He left in the morning and went to her house, knowing that her grandmother was still in the hospital. Actually unfortunately Mrs. Flowers' condition has worsened this week and the doctors said she'd stay for at least a week this time. Unfortunately for Carla and Mrs. Flowers because Damon couldn't think of a better time for the graduate to have a few days off. He was going to go into a road trip and a hot companion was always welcomed. He knew his 'girl' was up an adventure and he made it very clear that was what it was going to be. The young woman lost her patience with Damon about always sending messages to her that they wouldn't be anything in the future. She was tired of the same bla-bla-bla. As if she was the one going after him. So she gave him a well deserved piece of mind.

"Damon does it look to you that I'm looking for a boyfriend?" she caught him off guard

"Women's minds are no men's land, I don't ever try to figure out what goes inside there" he pointed to her head while she fought her wish to roll her eyes.

"So let me be really didactic here. I don't want a boyfriend, I don't do boyfriends, I like to have sex and you are definitely an expert in the subject, so that's why I keep answering when you call me inviting me out. So can you drop it already and stop with the sidelines remarks? If you think some casual sex it's too much for you to handle, then I guess I should go back to Fell's Church and wait for the next good looking guy" Carla had her hands on her hip and Damon thought she looked really hot being bossy. She was a force to be reckoned in bed but never really bossy. It gave Damon a lot of ideas.

"I'm happy we have an understanding" and when the word left his mouth something felt wrong about telling it to her. He knew exactly why but rephrased it still. "A deal, actually, I really don't see a reason to keep sending a message between the lines, so how about we change the subject and talk about all the kinky sex we could do in this little trip of us, huh?" he approached her removing her hands from where they were and replacing it with his own.

"It sounds great, but if you don't mind, I want to stop by the hospital before we leave. I want to talk to the doctors and let them know I'm out of town for a few days" she answered his moves by interlacing her hands behind is neck.

"Sounds perfect to me" he agreed thinking about how he also needed to go there to get some blood.

This road trip would end up being exactly what Damon needed. He didn't want to lose any of the progress he did with Elena in the past couple of months. Easily or not he has been able to detach from her. He knew it was as simple as switching his humanity off like he did for most time of his existence as a darkness creature. But something didn't seem quite the same now. He was almost sure that Elena has done some permanent damage but as long as he could keep his emotions on check without a lot of effort it was okay with him. He didn't mind this person he was now, someone between the unredeemable and careless vampire and the caring, humanized guy. As long as Elena wasn't part of the quotation, he had no problem at all with his new self.

Elena hated to be curious. She was one of those people that liked to know everything, preferably be informed instead of having to gather information by herself but that wasn't the case. She was more than curious to know what happened to Damon. There was something eating her from the inside. She knew she shouldn't care but she cared. Unlike the vampire she didn't have an imaginary device that could deactivate all her emotions. But her conversation with Stefan a couple of days ago seeded something in her mind that she couldn't take away. Did Damon take Carla with him wherever he went to? She didn't know why Stefan said it and she for obvious reasons didn't keep asking him questions. But why would her boyfriend consider this option? It wasn't like Damon to take his girlfriend or whatever Carla was to go into a couple's getaway.

After pondering for the last two days about what to do, Elena finally admitted to herself that she couldn't take the anxiety anymore and decided to do some research of her own and that was led her where she was.

"I'd like to visit Mrs. Flowers" she said to the woman in the nurse station.

"Are you family?" she asked not moving her eyes from the computer in front of her.

"No, friend. Elena Gilbert" the girl answered as she bit her lip. What if Carla showed up and Stefan was just jumping to conclusions? What would she say the young woman? Elena only knew Mrs. Flowers from the church she used to go as a kid and young teen. She hasn't seen the elder in years.

"Room 234" the nurse answered and Elena left still thinking if she should do it or not. But seeing how the woman's room was actually near she didn't have much time.

What would she say to Mrs. Flowers anyway? She just expected Carla to be there and say she had to take some exam results or whatever and decided to check on her and her grandmother, but as she approached the room it was clear she wasn't inside.

Thankfully for Elena, the gray haired woman was sleeping and she decided to wait a little bit around her room, maybe Carla would show up after all.

After half hour Elena was almost leaving when a nurse entered the room. It was her chance to get any information so she quickly followed the young woman inside.

"Hi" the brunette said shyly and the blond girl answered back sweetly.

"Poor Mrs. Flowers, such a nice person and going through all of this" Elena threw her hands in her jeans pockets. It was getting worse and worse because it actually involved someone fighting for their lives. Maybe Damon was right and she was just a manipulating bitch.

"Yeah, it's been a few tough days for Martha" the girl seemed to really care about the elder.

"It's been tough for Carla too" Elena said quickly before she changed her mind and left the room ashamed of using a disease condition like that to gather information about Damon.

"Yeah, she really loves her grandmother. It's touching. She's a sweetie girl just like Martha, everybody here loves them" the nurse finished managing the medication into the IV.

"It wasn't easy for her to leave her life back in New York. She's a special girl" the teenager added and was relieved that the nurse was now checking Mrs. Flowers chart and writing down some information but she only nodded in answer to Elena who didn't have anything else to say.

"Martha will be happy to know you came to visit her, I guess she won't wake up soon because she's been sedated as she was in deep pain" the nurse informed Elena who nodded and looked to the woman lying in the bed. She was totally ashamed of her actions.

"I haven't seen Carla for a couple of days now. I even expected to meet her here, the girl also needs some support" Elena offered as she saw the nurse nodding to excuse her presence and leave. It was now or ever.

"She took some deserved time away. Her grandmother is sleeping all time and there was nothing she could do. But she still calls every day, sometimes twice a day to know if there was any change. Poor girl, she's so hopeful her grandmother will get better. She has a big heart and it's a lovely girl. She deserved a few days off with her boyfriend after all she's been through with Martha for the past three months, nonstop"

"Oh, she and Damon are traveling?" Elena felt her heart dropping in her chest. she was positive all the color she had in her face went away the moment the woman mentioned the words boyfriend and days off.

"I don't really know his name but I must say Carla was rewarded for her big heart with a very handsome guy. He came with her the day she told us she was going to travel. He was so polite and seemed really concerned and caring about Martha and Carla" the nurse smiled as she talked and Elena's knees went weak at the words. Was Damon this involved about this girl? How come she only found out about them three days ago?

"Dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes and let's say dashing, gorgeous, irresistible?" Elena smirked remembering too well his words of months ago but also trying to cover her shocking reaction to the confirmation. When she first decided to go to the hospital she was positive she was going to meet Carla and that Stefan was just reading too much into Damon's relationship.

"That'd be the one" the nurse agreed catching her playful tone.

"I know him too well; I date his even more dashing, gorgeous and irresistible brother" Elena tried to reassure herself more than the nurse.

"You girls are lucky"

"I guess we are. But I should go now. If Mrs. Flowers wake up let her know I passed by, my name is Elena" she quickly offered and turned on her heels to leave the room and be alone. She didn't want the nurse to get suspicious about her obvious reaction. It made no sense for her to mention Stefan like that. She probably sounded childish and jealous to the stranger.

But she couldn't be jealous. In her way out the hospital she tried to convince herself she just felt bothered by the fact that Damon would show up to visit Carla's sick grandmother. That wasn't something he'd do to anyone but then again he just took the girl to some road trip. But I was the first one he did all those things to, she pondered to herself but then brushed it off. Why did it matter that Damon has taken her to a trip or been in the hospital to help Caroline when she was sick? It was a good thing that Damon was starting to care about other like people like he cared about her. Actually like he used to care about her but that wasn't true anymore and then she felt the air vanishing from her lungs. Not only she wasn't the girl Damon cared anymore but he already found a replacement.

She knew he has developed feelings for her and while she didn't want anything to do with him in that way, now she felt like he moved on and it hit her like a truck. She didn't want him to move on. And then as she drove to her house Elena considered for the first time in her life that maybe what he said before trying to kiss her was true. Maybe she felt something too and before she knew tears were rolling down her face.

AN: Hey you! I'd like to let you know that this week I'm updating only today as I'm traveling Friday. But I guess by Monday I'll have another chapter written.

As for this chapter. Another lesson for Elena - I feel like I'm punishing her, but I don't feel sorry - and she thinks Damon and Carla are dating when they aren't and Damon made it very clear to Carla.

I guess having a few days of wild sex with Carla is reasonable. It is only about sex between them and the reason why he's leaving is to do not deal with Elena, he could perfectly just keep taking her to his place but he won't do that exactly because he already has plans for her after their few days out. As I pointed (hopefully clearly) Damon accepts his new self and doesn't deny his feelings for Elena. He knows they're there and they can't just disappear. He just avoids them and put them away the best he can. He's finally understanding that she changed him forever. We'll see more of this later.

The tears by the end may not because she feels she's losing him, but basically because she's angry, so angry that she cries. Angry to finally face the truth that she isn't as immune to Damon as she thought and of course a little bit of the loss but I just wanted to clarify that Elena isn't pouring down her heart because Damon supposedly got a girlfriend. She feels she's already betraying Stefan as it is and she isn't welcoming those feelings at all. If anything she's trying to repress them but she already accepted they exist.

As always, thanks a lot to Vampgirl144; Nejlla; BMCullen; niadk (I recognize your id from fanforum); lizzie, Lily, Vya-sama; natitasha; shadylady21 and EtherealDemon for reviewing last chapter.

I hope you guys liked this chapter and don't kill me for the trip. Also most people don't want smut at all - unless it's Delena, so I'd suggest you to read the latest chapter of my other Delena fic, I just delivered the smut there :P

xoxo

Babi