You Lost Me

Chapter Seven - Caring

She couldn't move from her spot in the bench and feeling like Stefan shouldn't see her like that, she stayed there for a while. He'd ask questions and she surely didn't have the answers. Why was it that people only value something once they lose it? She had to lose the friend to finally acknowledge that maybe she felt something else. It was about the way he protected her, the way he took care of her, the way he gazed her make her weak on the knees. The way he smirked, he smiled, the way he made jokes and inappropriate remarks. But it was mainly the way he looked to her when he knew she was hurt, especially if he had anything to do with that. It was the way he put his heart on his sleeve when he apologized about anything.

She laughed amidst her tears, how could she ignore all those things for so long? She was comfortable in her relationship with Stefan – as much as it's possible when dating a vampire. She loved him with everything she was but now that her jealousy got her attention, she realized how she has been drawn to Damon somehow. Then she remembered of their dance in the pageant. It was such an intense moment that got lost and forgotten given the developments of the day. For some reason she put away in a very small, dark place of her heart the memories of Stefan attacking Amber. And among those almost erased memories were the moments she and Damon shared not only while they danced but all the time.

At first she couldn't believe he had stepped in to dance with her and surely she wasn't surprised to know he knew exactly the steps. And whoever made that dance up knew things. The closeness made the lack of touch more intense than if they had made out. His piercing blue eyes were hypnotizing and when he slightly smiled she felt her doing the same. Not only her lips but her whole body reacted to Damon that day and she couldn't believe how she let it go. Surely when Isobel talked about his feelings to her, she felt butterflies in her stomach but again Stefan was there to make her forget any reaction her body had.

She laughed sarcastically as she wiped her tears. She was so adamant about having no feelings for Damon that until now she hasn't realized how her body has showed her otherwise. The many times when her heart fluttered, just like when he decided to sit by her side outside the cellar where Stefan was recovering. When he gave her a rose or when he handed her the device and held her hand mere seconds longer than necessary. Even when he sat on the couch and only touched as much as her ankles to move her feet over his lap she felt her body reacting. But Stefan was in pain and then Isobel happened and Founders' Day happened and then Katherine happened and Damon happened.

When she came to think clearly – and unbiased – she realized that in the last three months her body has repeatedly showed that it reacted to Damon in ways it wasn't supposed to react to friends. She didn't react like that around Matt and they did have a past. She neglected the possibility of having any feelings for him because her feelings towards Stefan seemed too huge and intense to let her question anything towards Damon. And especially because the last thing she wanted was to be Katherine, not only because of the triangle but because she hated the bitch.

But losing Damon brought more pain than she expected and seeing him clearly in love with someone else opened her eyes… or maybe the wound caused by her stubborn denial.

"I don't actually intent to sound mean but you look like crap" Carla said playfully interrupting Elena's thoughts as she looked up to the beautiful girl standing in front of her.

"Bad day" Elena sniffled a little and wiped the rest of her tears away.

"I know the feeling pretty well. Janice mentioned that you came to visit my grandmother. It means a lot to me and I'm sure I'd mean to her too. I didn't know you were close to her but I want to thank you anyway" the standing girl offered and Elena couldn't help but hate the girl a little bit. She was hot as Victoria's Secret's angels but she sounded like a church angel. Her voice was sweet and even the curls in her crimson hair and her matching lips made her face look like one. The girl managed to look stunning hot but still all innocent. It's no surprise Damon fell for this woman.

"Actually I wasn't that close to Mrs. Flowers but you seemed so worried about her and Damon really cares about you. I have to admit it I sort of did it because of him" Elena wasn't going to lie again. She already felt really bad for using the elder's condition to get information about the man she had feelings for although she still refused to acknowledge them.

"He really likes you" Carla sat by Elena's side.

"What?" Elena looked up to the redhead as if she had three heads.

"Damon. I don't know who broke his heart that badly and it takes a damaged person to know one. He's damaged, he's hurt but he likes you. You should have seen how he took care of you when Katherine hurt you" the older woman offered a sweet smile to Elena. It shouldn't surprise her as Damon kissed Katherine thinking it was her and then tried to kiss her twice alleging there was something between them. Surely Damon liked her. But lately he proved that it was past tense. He had liked her but he didn't anymore so what was Carla talking about? She barely knew Damon and she certainly didn't have a clue about what she was saying, so Elena preferred to ignore that part of the girl's answer.

"Katherine did. She broke his heart. He really loved her and they've been together for a while but she never loved him back. He spent many, many years fighting for her but she never wanted anything to do with him. At least he finally got to see who she is" and the brunette made no effort to hide her despise and dislike towards her doppelganger. She hated Katherine mostly because Elena knew she was really the one that broke Damon's heart and made him the vampire he was now, both physically and emotionally.

"I guess going through all of this again might be hurting him more. She made the initial damage and now his pain is just making it worse. He's trying so hard to do not feel but I guess you can't stop your heart from beating" Carla tried to open Elena's eyes. She knew she had no chance with Damon at all. Not after everything she went through while she was in New York and not with her grandmother getting worse by the day. She didn't have any feelings for Damon and no matter how she wanted to have them and start over she knew she wasn't ready.

But just because it wouldn't be her it didn't mean she didn't wish Damon the best. She could see clearly that he had feelings for Elena and looking to the girl in front of her now and thinking why Elena was still in front of the hospital she questioned Elena's own feelings. When she turned to get her I-pod from Damon she has seen her sitting in the bench and she looked fine but now an hour later, she was in the same spot and given her red eyes and how she had wiped a few tears when she approached to thank her, Carla wondered if Damon's feelings weren't reciprocal. Sure it was a long shot and maybe Elena also had someone she loved in the hospital but she seemed to be so surprised and even sounded a bit happy when she questioned her very clear statement that Damon liked her. To Carla, Elena has sounded almost hopeful and then there was the venom and the hatred in her voice as she explained that Katherine broke his heart.

"Unless you don't have any" Elena smirked sarcastically and Carla frowned in disapproval. Did the teenager mean what she thought she meant?

"That would be unfair. Damon has a huge heart but I know he pretends too well not having one. He plays the uncaring and selfish guy and although he is selfish he's also the best guy for those he cares about" and the redhead had enough experience to tell those things about Damon. She's seen the way he pretended to do not care about Stefan but always breathed relieved when they heard the younger Salvatore entering the house. Carla never understood what made Stefan's arrival so relieving, as he wasn't in the war or something, but nevertheless it did. And then he has been really nice to her and showed some genuine concern about her grandmother's condition. That if she doesn't mention the way he took care of Elena that afternoon when Katherine came to the house.

"How long have you been together? You seem to know him pretty well" she asked uncomfortably but a little edgy too. She didn't like the fact that over a few weeks Carla seemed to know the man that took her months to finally understand. Actually who the graduate was trying to fool? She may pretend or think that she knows Damon but Elena knew it was impossible.

"As I told you, takes a damage person to know one and most of times he worked pretty hard to suppress and hide any feelings but I've got a glimpse of his real self in the very few times he let his mask slip" the redhead put into words the thoughts that has just crossed her mind about the raven-haired man.

"Oh" Elena was reticent in her answer and remained quiet, deep in her jealousy that she didn't even ask if they were actually together. She thought those moments the graduate just mentioned were because he was finally showing Carla any affection. She had no idea Carla was referring to the moments she witnessed Damon showing affection towards her when she was injured. Or when she did mention the brunette to the vampire and realized that very briefly his expression changed.

"I should get going, I still have to go to the shop and check my car. Maybe I should even consider leaving it there as a payment" she chuckled a little and Elena followed suit curling her lips too.

"I hope Mrs. Flowers gets better" she politely, still honestly suggested.

"Yeah… Damon just told me that but the more of it I see, the harder it gets to believe it" the redhead sighed and Elena could see her eyes tearing and she felt even worse for using someone's disease to her own interests. But did Carla say Damon just said it too? Elena wasn't keeping track of time but it's been at least two hours she's been sitting there, so either Damon came and she didn't see or he called Carla while she was there. She couldn't think which one was worst.

"Let's keep the faith then" the brunette answered too vaguely and the redheaded only nodded and left.

Elena was even more hurt when Carla left. The young woman has confirmed her most terrifying nightmares. Damon cared about the redhead. He was probably in love with her and Elena didn't know why it hurt. Yeah, she was coming to terms that her body reacted to his touch and sexy gaze but that was it. So she was attracted to him. Physical attraction and actually feelings were completely different things and finally happy about her conclusion she stood up to leave. She may not know why it hurt to know that he moved on but she was now sure that she was only attracted to him and that was easily fixable.

But fate didn't seem to want to let her have those easy answers as in that very moment she saw Damon coming from the hospital parking lot and walking towards the building. She didn't know what happened to her, maybe the fact that she hasn't seen him in days but she was following him inside.

She thought he was probably going to steal some blood and headed straight to the area where she knew he'd get bags but much to her surprise he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he wanted to charm someone to give it to him?

But then a thought crossed her mind and her heart rushed in her chest. No, it couldn't be but she changed her route anyway and headed to the second floor.

And much to her dismay, Damon was just leaving Mrs. Flowers' room when she reached the hallway. If Damon wasn't in the hospital to get blood it meant only one thing, she wondered as she remembered Carla's clothes, unlike the first time they met, the redhead was well dressed today probably not coincidentally she was wearing a turtle neck top.

"Decided to play like Isobel?" the judgment in her voice was clear as she looked to him almost disgusted. Of course he wasn't falling in love with someone else.

"Huh?" Damon frowned but didn't seem interested in the answer as he kept walking towards the stairs.

"Keeping companions. Got tired of the canned food?" she said following him and her words actually made him turn around and look at her.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he looked really confused but also annoyed.

"That poor girl, Carla, who is already heartbroken as it is because her grandmother is in here, probably on her last days of life" her tone was now indignant. How could he be so selfish?

Damon's blood boiled. Who was she to accuse him of such things? "If you must know, dear, Elena, I haven't taken one drop of Carla's blood but that's none of your business. Actually I'm none of your business" he turned to leave again but she reached his arm and held it strongly.

"You know the moment Bonnie knows you're dropping innocent blood I must say you better find your way back to the road" she threatened him and it let him even angrier.

"Well, you can invite your Abracadabra little friend and take a look at Carla's gorgeous, curvy and absolutely delicious body. I don't owe you any explanation, Elena. Or to anyone else. What I do in my intimacy is no one's business" he was fuming and although she could see it in his eyes she didn't backed off.

"So what? Am I supposed to think that from night to day you do girlfriends? Take them to romantic getaways and visit their sick grandmother? I know you Damon, there's an ulterior motive in everything you do" her voice was sarcastic and the way she smirked remembered him of himself.

"If you must know, as you're clearly stalking me now, I was here not to get any blood but to give mine to Martha and see if it works against cancer. As you wisely pointed, Carla is heartbroken not only because of her grandmother but because of some jerk that hurt her before, she doesn't deserve any of this" he was honest in his answer and Elena was taken aback by the truth in his words and eyes.

"You gave Mrs. Flowers your blood?" she asked incredulous and deeply surprised.

"Yeah, shocking right? I guess that self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities crap doesn't allow me to care. Let me update you on that one, dear Elena. Just because I don't care about you, it doesn't mean I don't care about anyone else" it was now his turn to smirk as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"You made it clear when you left me alone with Katherine more than once" there was pain in her voice and he has noticed it but he preferred to ignore. That was what that little trip has been about and he wasn't going to let five minutes with her ruin all the progress he has made.

"Yeah and still it seems to do not be enough for you to take it. But I'll make it easier for your stubborn or just plain stupid brain" he smiled and she was almost relieved to see something coming from him that wasn't filled with sarcasm or having his mask covering his true feelings. But then she realized the meaning of those words.

"What does it mean?" she asked afraid of the answer.

"Bye Elena. Actually goodbye would be more appropriate" and with that he was gone as the door he has just crossed slowly closed.

AN: So Carla is I don't know, how could I put it? a DE shipper? She isn't friends with Elena so she tried to be subtle in her comments, like when she made it clear that Katherine may have broken Damon first but what was killing him now was loving Elena and not having her. But dearest Elena is a little lost in her own world of denial. But let's try to understand Elena. She's loyal and faithful. She loves Stefan and it's part of who she is (always so perfect, not my favorite, but still) and how do you think she'd react knowing that feels something for his brother? And how terrified could she be to really face those feelings or emotions and figure out what they are?

For now, I'll answer for you what she can't herself: she doesn't love Damon (yet) but she is attracted to him, physically AND emotionally. I think it'd be unrealistic for her to love Damon while she loves Stefan that much. But I also think that she could develop something for Damon giving all the intense moments they've shared together. That's why I mentioned some of them, especially the dance. That's NOT how you feel around your friend or your boyfriend's brother.

So next: Elena takes one step forward (and hopefully this time she won't take two backwards like she did in this update - totally out of jealousy, I guess the saying is accurate. Jealous can blind yourself) but how will Damon react? And something awful happens and that something will lead to the turning point of this fic.

Thanks a lot to Nejlla, 00JLO, xxxMrsDamonSalvatore, tsukivamp, WhiteLines, lizzie, niadk, xLoveRyanx, Alottalove, shadylady21, BMCullen, Dom0 and Drama for the reviews in the last chapter. You have no idea how happy I've got and how much it helped me. I was so excited that I wrote the WHOLE outline to this story reading your words of support :D so now I just need to work in the chapters :P

Can't wait to know what you thought of this and be prepared, the action is about to start.

Talk to you soon

Babi