You Lost Me

Chapter Ten - Gone

"Elena!" Damon moved super fast to where her body has just fallen and bringing her to his arms he knew the damaged has been done.

"No, no, no, no" he shook his head as he brought her completely lifeless body against his chest and rocked both of them. He was so focused on the woman in his arms that he didn't even realize it when the other one left. Everything his ears seem to listen was the lack of a heartbeat. The silence coming from her body. She wasn't breathing. There wasn't a heart pumping the blood through her whole body. No, there wasn't anything, just silence.

He was deeply distressed holding her and brushing the hair on the back of her head. He's lost her, after all he did lose her and it was the most excruciating pain he's been through. But then he remembered of something that seemed to be impossible to be forgotten: he's given her his blood just a few minutes ago. She'd wake up in a few hours and hate him for the rest of her immortality but at least she'd be there.

He'd take her hate any day rather than not seeing her face. Even if all he can see there is hate, despite, dismissal, disgust and disappointment. She's said so many times about his incredible irresponsibility of letting her alone with Katherine but that wasn't what he was planning to do in that moment. He just couldn't be in the middle of them in that moment. Katherine was the devil in fresh and she'd lead him to do something stupid, something as stupid as taking even a few steps away from her and leaving Elena behind him. Deep down he never really believed Katherine would try to kill Elena. She's had so many chances to do so but she never really went for it. It was clear that when she hit Elena against the wall a week ago that she didn't aim to kill because Katherine wasn't someone to take chances in something. She did what she had to do and she'd ensure it was well done and permanent.

But his perceptions have betrayed him. He should have listened to Elena. Damn it, he should have listened even to Katherine when she sent the message through Caroline's death. When the centenary vampire played her games the only rule was the lack of any rules. And for his wrong assessment he'd never forgive himself. It was his fault that Elena wouldn't have a chance to have a normal life. It was his fault that she was dammed for the rest of her life. It was his fault that maybe she'd become a monster, just like him.

He was finally brave enough to drop her body again and look at her face. He'd never see the color of her vivacity again. He'd never catch her breath becoming heavy or the arrhythmia of her heart. He'd never smell her scent, her human scent that inebriated him. She was gone, not matter what would happen in the next few hours, the woman he loved was gone and it was his fault.

He felt the droplets on his skin and looking to the sky he knew the rain was coming back. He looked around him and realized her car as partially blocking the road and scooping her in his arms he walked towards it. He laid her limp body and placed on his foot as he reached for the roof of her car and employing all his strength he flipped it until it was standing over its tires again. All the time he kept his eyes on Elena. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Taking her on his arms again, he held her with one of them as the other pushed the car towards the field releasing the road.

He positioned her in both of his arms again, bridal style, and slowly walked towards his own car some feet away. Although he was a vampire and didn't need to breath, he used to because he didn't want to look like some freak to anyone and raise any suspicions. If he wanted to go unnoticed he had to do it properly but in that moment he looked like a zombie. His eyes were dull looking at his blue Chevy. He was acting robotically as he carefully placed her in the passenger's seat. He wouldn't lay her in the backseat because he needed to watch her, to see her, do not let her be out of his sight. It may be too late but now that he was finally convinced that Katherine didn't really know any limits he wouldn't take any chances of making it definitive.

He barely stepped on gas. The car was slowly moving back towards the boarding house. Damon was running from the prospect of Elena waking up because he knew she'd blame him. Because he blamed himself.

But he finally arrived and taking her in his arms again he brought her inside but stopped after he entered the house. He had no idea where to take her. He couldn't bring her to his bedroom but he wasn't feeling like he should take her to Stefan's either. It left him with one of the guestrooms or the couch in the den. The latter was definitely the best option but he didn't have time to make it there with Stefan storming into the room.

"What happened?" Stefan panicked as he saw Elena quietly unconscious on Damon's arms but then it hit him like a truck: he couldn't hear her heartbeat.

"I was in the road to the city, her car was behind mine and then it suddenly flipped, she was almost dying but my blood finally healed her wounds but then Katherine came…" Damon mechanically reported the facts, still having shock written all over his face but he regained awareness when the last words left his mouth and such awareness didn't allow him to finish it, so he moved Elena to the couch instead. He looked helpless to Stefan while the words left his mouth and the younger brother knew exactly why.

"What?" Stefan only murmured to his brother as he threw himself at the foot of the sofa and on his knees he stretched his hand to brush Elena's cold face. The chilly and rainy weather consumed her natural warmth too fast and she was less and less warm by the minute

"It can't be" the younger brother let his body lean over the couch, his forehead resting against the edge of it and a pool of tears being formed in the carpet immediately.

"Don't worry, Stefan, I made sure she'd die with Damon's blood on her system, she's coming back" Katherine stood in the top of the double stairs with her hands on her hips but the heartbroken man barely listened to her, let alone to the word she's stressed.

"I'm going to kill you!" Stefan jumped from his position and pinned Katherine who didn't show any reaction or tried to defend herself. He grabbed her throat and tried to suffocate her, in vain as she didn't breathe but she found strength to say some words even with her vocal cords blocked by his hands.

"Why me, Stefan? I warned you to break up with her but you didn't" she choked but smiled as she saw the guilty consuming his face, the grip on her neck loosening a little.

She took the chance to use both of her hands and send him meters away from her.

"I was patient. I even overlooked your attempt to fool me with that stupid fake breakup. I gave you plenty of time and chances Stefan but you underestimated me. You should know by now that I always get what I want and I want you" she said as she took slowly each step towards where he laid on the floor.

"And you know why I'll have you Stefan?" she straddled him like a lion about to eat its prey. "Because you want me just as much" she whispered in his ear and he couldn't move, he was still shocked by Elena's death and not so used to Katherine's suffocating presence. It was all overwhelming to him that now he didn't know how to react, he was sort of paralyzed. Elena was indeed dead because of Katherine nonetheless.

"Also, which chances did you have to be with Elena when she got herself in a car accident trying to impede Damon to leave town?" she innocently shared the information that Damon has left out. He mentioned the car accident but he never said why Elena was there in the first place.

Damon who has ignored the exchange between the woman he hated more than ever and his brother only looked to Elena, hoping for her eyes to open soon but also fearing what would happen when they finally did. She was going to hate him, he knew for sure but it didn't matter as long as those beautiful chocolate eyes opened again. He didn't even have any strength on him to go and kill Katherine with his bare hands. The pain of losing Elena was too much and none of this senses worked properly, not the physical let alone the emotional ones. He was just there, stunned and hoping for her to come back to life, as an undead creature. But when Katherine mentioned his name for the second time it got his attention and he looked to his brother who was also looking at him and Damon couldn't do or say anything so he looked down.

"Oh and that's not all because we all know sweet and perfect Elena always has to save the day. Although trying to stop Damon's impending departure could be just a friendly act that's not where her actions stopped. Surely Damon had to save the day instead because well, she's just some stupid and very breakable human and do you know how she thanked him for saving her life even though he was the one who put it in risk in the first place, Stefan?" Katherine didn't move from her position over Stefan and neither did him. He didn't flinch as she brushed the side of his face during her mocking but still accurate speech. "She kissed him. She pushed him to his limits; that little ingenious mind and when he was all vulnerable opening his so-shattered heart about how everybody loved you she decided to prove him otherwise. Don't you think it's cunning of little sweet Elena?" Katherine smiled as shock and horror were written all over Stefan's face. He turned to Damon again but his brother was yet to look at him. After all most of the things Katherine said were true.

"And I wouldn't let history repeat itself, would I? I wouldn't let you be the fool that Damon has been all those years thinking that I even slimly loved him. She kissed him, Stefan, she got into a fatal car accident to stop him from leaving when he told her he wanted nothing to do with her. I didn't do any of this, Stefan, I just spared you the heartbreak" she then moved her other hand to the ignored side of his face and cupping it she kissed him, just like Elena has kissed Damon almost two hours ago.

Stefan didn't react to Katherine's words, let alone her actions but Damon did when he had finally snapped. She knew the games she was playing and she knew that his brother was rather shocked about losing Elena forever than about what she's done before Katherine killed her.

"You bitch! It's your fault Elena is dead" Damon ran to where Katherine and Stefan were and took her by her hair, throwing her against the wall.

"Really Damon and how would I do it if you didn't turn to leave her again, huh? Enlighten me here because I don't remember picking a fight with you to kill Elena" Katherine challenged although her voice wasn't threatening but somewhat amused.

"I didn't turn my back to her, I turned my back to you" his voice was enraged as he walked to where he has just thrown her.

"You let her kill me?" the three vampires turned their faces to see the transitioning baby vamp sitting in the couch. Elena was yet to understand everything that was happening around her but as she regained consciousness she listened to Katherine's last words. It couldn't be, she couldn't be dead.

"Elena" Damon whispered while Stefan remained recollected in his position, Katherine's words still stinging in his head.

"Did you let her kill me, Damon?" Elena asked him again but this time she had really acknowledged the obvious fact of her first question. Damon was there with her, she remembered of kissing him and then Katherine saying all those words that she could see clearly hurt Damon but then it finally came back to her the exact moment Katherine has been talking about. The she-vampire said something and it riled up Damon who turned to leave. She couldn't remember of what he said but she remembered clearly seeing him turning around and walking towards his car. He has abandoned her once again and this time her doppelganger didn't let the chance pass.

Damon could hear the devastation in her voice as it cracked and her eyes glimmered with yet unshed tears. He knew in that moment she's remembered of everything in the road and he knew to which conclusions she was jumping. He couldn't let her think that he purposefully ignored the threat and let Katherine take her life away because that was anything but true. Moving in inhuman speed, he fell on his knees much like Stefan has the first time he saw Elena dead.

"I wouldn't let her kill you, Elena, I was leaving her behind but I'd bring you home with me, you have to believe me. I honestly didn't think Katherine would try to kill you as she's had so many chances before but never really tried" he looked desperately to her face, begging her to believe him. "I promise you when I turned to offer you a ride she snapped your head" he tried to relieve his conscience but he hasn't been able to convince even himself about it. It was his fault, he knew it and looking at her eyes in that moment he could see that she was already blaming him too, that no matter what he said one thing remained still: if he hasn't left her side for a moment, no matter how brief, Katherine wouldn't have attacked and Elena wouldn't be dead.

"You walked away from me" she broke their eye's contact and the tears she'd been able to hold back until then fell freely down on her face.

"Elena, please forgive me, I never thought it'd happen" he pleaded, reaching her face and bringing her eyes back to his but what he saw in there broke him even further. Disappointment and pain, she was deeply hurt and it was his fault. Damon has never felt so bad about something in his life. It was like the hurting in her still soft gaze entered his fresh ripping it and breaking each of his bones. Seeing her like that caused his body to literally ache and he felt like he needed to breathe to live but couldn't bring the air to his lungs. It was stifling and it seemed like someone was strangling him.

"I'm dead… I'm a… I'm a vampire" realization finally hit Elena and just in front of him, he saw in her face how her heart and soul have been shattered in more pieces than it was possible to count.

AN: Hey guys!

So Elena indeed woke up as an undead but there's still a choice to be made, quite obvious isn't it? What do you think will happen now? Stefan - who is too heartbroken both by her death and the reason behind it to react to it will try to come back to speaking but poor baby won't actually have a chance.

We'll see more of Elena's point of view of everything instead of Damon, he has the rest of this story to feel bad about it and blame himself, so I'd show what's going on at Elena's heart... where he happens to be so of course he'll come into scene again.

Thanks a lot for all the great reviews you gave me: bluestriker666; EtherealDemon; Delena01; tsukivamp; MsMaeve18; Vampgirl144; Avecia; xLoveRyanx; shadylady21; soundcharger; niadk; lizzie; WhileLines; Alottalove and kat. I missed some of my usual reviewers but I just hope you aren't too disappointed about where I headed it.

Talk to you soon, reviews as usual are love.

Babi