(A/N): Thanks 4 the reviews! Ummmm the song (part of it) alllllll the way below there is This is the New Shitby Marilyn Manson of his new cd This is the New Shit. Dude kreeps me out, but since I dun liv by him, I guess its safe 2 use his stuff and hav Dormon bad-mouth him like he does.
Byz XD
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
"Connor...Baby, wake up..."
"Connor...Connor!"
Connor gasped, his eyelids fluttering open as the blood on the floor disappeared, the prints on the walls quickly vanished, the splatters of red were wiped clean, and the pounding and screams faded away, following closely by the brightness of the bathroom.
It all faded away to the darkness of a room, a darkness he was never so glad to fall into like he was doing now.
He was in Angel's bedroom.
But why?
And his father had his arms wrapped around him as he peered down worriedly, a gentle thumb caressing his pale cheek.
Connor breathed in deeply, looking around, everywhere but over at the man holding him, as he tried to steady his trembling body, and the vampire soon brought him closer, aware now he was awake.
"Connor, its alright now. Youre safe. It was just a bad dream."
The boy nodded, not yet trusting his voice to speak as Angel started to rub his back soothingly. But his father quickly stopped his administrations, frowning, a large hand placed firmly on his son's small shoulder.
"Youre still shaking..."
"Why am I here?"
Connor suddenly felt his chin being tipped up and he raised now alarmed blue to worried brown.
"Connor?"
"Why am I not...there? Home?" The word was out before he could stop it and he felt a flash of guilt seeing Angel's hurt face.
"Do you want to be there?" It had pained him when he woke up to his son shaking in his arms and whimpering, and became even more shocked when he realized why.
His son was having a nightmare.
Not even after returning from the hell dimension did Connor have nightmares. He had almost thought at one time his son just never dreamed of the bad things, and had grown comforted by that knowledge. He had waited for them. Every night after Connor returned to him, he had waited to rush into the boy's room and comfort him even though Angel knew he wouldnt have wanted it, but the time never came to do so. Every night, Connor slept soundly or just didnt sleep at all and every night, Angel had stayed up, listening to his teenaged son's even breathing.
But what surprised him the most was not the fact that Connor had indeed experienced something like this in his presence, but what came next.
Connor's response.
"No. No, I dont." Connor leaned into his father and gripped the man tightly, head bent low and staring at the sheets as his father nestled his chin into his boy's dark hair. "I dont want to see that place," Connor whispered.
Angel heard it even though spoken so quietly.
But he also heard...
Fear.
"Connor, whats wrong?" he asked, tightening his grip. His son rested his cheek against the darkly-clothed chest.
"Nothing...Just dreams." Connor closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. His father. Angel.
Not Dormon.
Angel.
The angel that protected.
"Just dreams," he repeated, his voice now shaky.
"You mean nightmares." Angel slid his fingers through the boy's locks of brown, kissing the top of his head. Connor didnt reply so he had a feeling that answered it for him. "Do you want to tell me about them?"
Connor fervently shook his head and Angel was actually thinking about pushing the matter further, after all, whatever was bothering his son also bothered him too, but movement from the body in his arms stopped all thinking and he shifted, allowing the boy to come closer.
He was then shocked to see Connor turn his head and put his ear to the vampire's chest, body instantly stilling. Connor then moved again, right into the position he lay in before dreaming and put a small hand to his bewildered father's neck, confusing the vampire even more.
"W-What are you doing?"
Connor ignored him, trailing his pale fingers along the lines of his father's chin to rest on the side of his throat and keeping them there, pressed down. After awhile, he saddened and quickly lowered his arm, gazing into Angel's eyes.
Angel, at first, shivered at the soft contact, but once realizing where the digits had stopped, he turned a somewhat worried face towards his son.
But Connor only tilted his head downwards as he spoke. "Why dont you have a heartbeat when others who dont deserve one do?" he asked quietly, fingering the man's shirt in front of him. He peered at the fabric running along his fingers, lost in thought. "Others have one when you dont and you deserve one when they dont...Why is it vampires cant have heartbeats?"
"Connor..."
The boy was silent after that, looking sad and thoughtful as he played with his father's shirt, then slowly let it go, along with his wondering. He gave his father a small smile, one that Angel looked into almost greedily, and scooted even closer, snuggling away in the spot he had now chosen as his own.
Both were quiet for awhile, Angel staring up at the ceiling still feeling the swirls of worry deep inside him as he held his precious Miracle close, and Connor relaxing his still somewhat tense body within his father's protective grip.
It wasnt long though before the comfortable silence was shattered again by the small voice of a child with brilliant blue eyes.
"Angel?"
"Yeah?" Angel brushed the boy's hair out of his eyes as his son looked up.
"What does it mean when ...you dream of yourself?"
"I dont know...Is that what your nightmare was of?"
A hesitant nod.
"What do you see yourself doing?"
"Talking."
"Talking? To who?" Angel kissed the boy's temple as he answered.
"To me."
The vampire was silent, not exactly understanding.
"But he's not me- he looks different, like when...He's not me. And he shows me...things."
"What kind of things?"
Connor didnt reply, instead burrowing into his father.
"Connor, you can tell me," Angel spoke quietly, trying to coax his son to reveal everything. He desperately needed to know what was tormenting his son.
"Bad things."
"How are they bad?"
"I dont know." Now, Connor looked up, confused, then turned away. "I dont know what they are. Theyre bad things and what I dream of and...stuff about people I dont know and some people I do. But mostly...just bad stuff."
"Tell me, Connor," Angel prodded gently, eagerly wanting his son back safely in his arms. He reached out just as the boy was replying and Connor quickly accepted, sliding back into his father's protective hold.
"Just...bad stuff."
Angel begged no more to be told, seeing his son bite his lip with obvious discomfort. Everything within the small body he could feel, every tensing, every flinch, every shiver, and every heightened beat of his heart, and even though he was tortured, himself, by not knowing what his son saw while he was not watching, couldnt watch, he asked nothing more, hoping instead, Connor would slowly come out and tell him on his own.
Nightmares were nothing to be really afraid of anyways. It was the things during the day and night that you had to be careful of. Whatever Connor had seen, if indeed pertaining to himself, Angel had seen too, after all, there was nothing at all about the boy that could possibly lead to anything life-threatening that he didnt know of already...
And taken care of in his own way.
"There was one good thing, though," Connor spoke up again, looking back towards his father with a hesitant smile.
"What of?"
"You. And me."
Angel let loose a long-awaited smile. "Really?" He almost laughed as he saw his boy tinge red in the cheeks.
"Yeah, we were...we were like this." He motioned to them and then the bed. "In here. And you were...holding me like this." He turned away from his father then turned back, trying to hide his embarrassed face as he ducked low.
Angel smiled wider. "That doesnt sound like a nightmare now."
But he raised an eyebrow when Connor looked up again, this time frowning. "I was happy and I think you were, too, but...then you were mad. When you held me, you were really angry..."
Angel stilled, seeing his son's hurt expression and sat up quickly to, then, lean over his son, who dropped his head back onto the pillow and laid on his back, eyes wide with wondering and worry. The boy was suddenly scooped up into unwavering arms.
"A-Angel?"
"Connor, look at me." And he did so, as well as away, getting quickly uncomfortable at how they were sitting.
"What am I doing right now?" When his son didnt answer or even turn back to him, Angel slid a cold hand to the boy's cheek and tilted the boy's face back to him. "Im holding you," he answered himself, voice calm. "And how do I look?"
Connor again looked up with a small frown then lowered his head, starting to poke the man's chest to hopefully alleviate all the tension that had accumulated in the dark room. "Really sappy," he smiled.
"Thats right," Angel smiled with him and planted another chaste kiss on top of his son. "And Im never going to run out of it, especially while holding you. I could never be angry with you around, not directed at you, anyways. Just looking at you makes me happy, son." He lowered his body, Connor still within his hold, back onto the bed, holding his son more gently as the boy fell back onto the pillow. "No matter what you do, I will never be angry with you. You have that much power over me and more."
"So if I destroy all of California, you'll hide me out?" Connor asked, grinning, again trying to shoo away most of the sweetness that his vampire father had brought about.
The older man tried to look stern but failed miserably at it. "I wouldnt go that far," but then slowly nodded. "Anything for you, Connor. Anything at all. Now try and get some sleep." But Connor quickly pouted.
"Through all that mush you just gave me, Im wide awake now."
Angel laughed, sitting up. "How 'bout I bring you some warm milk then? I heard it helps..." He trailed off seeing the boy's face. "No? Maybe a glass of water?" At receiving a slow nod, the vampire pushed back the covers then looked over at his son again, leaning in close. "Feeling better atleast?"
Connor grinned, growing embarrassed again. "Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes, then pushed at his father playfully, urging him to get out of the bed quicker. "Sorry I woke you." His hair was ruffled.
"Never feel sorry." He turned away and walked to the door. "I'll be right back."
Left alone, Connor quickly curled up and maneuvered so his back was facing the door, wrapping his arms around his belly protectively. Shoving all traces of the frightening dream out of his mind, he closed his eyes, and waited.
Waited for the safe shadow of his father, his real father, to fall back onto the bed yet again.
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
As Angel made it along the narrow stairs, a figure suddenly appeared before him, green-fleshed and decked out in a pure white bathrobe, while holding a steaming cup of coffee. "Lorne?" He quickly shuffled the rest of the way down as the demon looked up, semi-startled.
"Oh, hey. I hope you dont mind me dropping by, but..." Lorne looked around himself, lazily sipping at his mug.
"No, no, not at all. What are you doing here?"
"Had some minor complications at my place- wiring, electrical screw-ups, that sort of thing- and I figured your offer for staying here was still good, atleast for a night or two-"
"-Yeah, sure, no problem." The vampire wasnt swayed in the slightest, making his way to the small sink tucked away in the corner of Wesley's old office. Lorne kept talking, following close behind.
"Plus, its rather boring staying there right now, with just opening and all. No one to really socialize or chat with; pretty lonely and you wouldnt expect that coming from a club, now would you..." He trailed off with a smirk, seeing the other man fill up a glass of water with a smile tugging at his lips. "Dont let my fat comments get to you, Angelcakes. I doubt vampires could lose weight anyways if they really wanted to-"
"-Its for Connor," Angel looked back at him with another smile, turning off the water. "He had a bad dream, so Im hoping this will calm him down. Strange, really, he never had nightmares before."
I wish plain old water had the same effect on me, Lorne thought in good humor, noticing with an odd look Angel looked absolutely happy with his minuscule task. "Oh, he's here?"
"Yeah, he's going to be staying the nights with me here." Angel's eyes practically shone with joy just saying those words. Lorne peered over at him, content to be seeing his boss so happy again, then gazed back down at his black liquid, wishing he didnt suddenly feel so...out-of-place.
"Well,...I'll save my 'hellos' for tomorrow, I guess."
"Yeah, thanks." Angel said it so brusquely, though, as he walked past, the demon somehow had a feeling he wouldnt be allowed within viewing distance of the boy anyways, and for a second, Lorne thought Angel wouldnt even bid him a goodnight, seeing as how the man was already walking away almost eagerly towards the stairs, but a second later, the vampire did turn around with a blank look on his features. "Oh, he's leaving early in the morning, though. I have to take him...back during the days."
"..."
"Not by choice, of course." The vampire wavered a bit, now clutching the glass tightly in his hand. He grimaced, finally letting his annoyance show. "I wont have him staying at the firm anymore." His eyes turned hard as he glanced at the other man.
Lorne had really nothing to say to that, but nodded his agreement anyways. "Alright."
"Good night, Lorne."
"Goodni-"
"-Actually, Lorne, let me ask you something." Angel turned back around, a smile plastered back on his face. Lorne instantly light-heartened, feeling the gloom start to slip away. "How was I doing before?"
"Come again?"
"How was I? What was I like?"
"Well," Lorne sipped his coffee, fumbling, not knowing where the hell this was all going. "You were...you. The person everybody came to for help even though you were also Mr. Brooding Doom-and-Gloom lover, getting close to no one of the female variety, putting you off as a eunu-"
"-No," Angel growled out, cutting him off. "And for the last time this night, Im not a-" He sighed, holding up a hand while rubbing his eyes. "Just...just nevermind. What I mean is...was I happy? Did I look happy to you?"
"Uhh...Well, to me-"
"-Ive never," the vampire's chest rose in almost pride as he searched for the next words to say. "Ive never...felt this way before. I think its full out hitting me now. I didnt lose him and he remembers everything. Connor's actually here. Everything is just perfect. Well, not completely...perfect, but its enough...for now." He looked unsure again but still played with the smile over his face. "Ive never felt this happy before. I mean, being in love is one kind of happiness, but having a son, the son with you, then loving you back is just...something completely different. Its bigger and wider and...and keeps growing. I feel like...I feel as if everything is how it should be, like this was what was actually planned for me the whole time. A chance to heal him and be with him and love him. And in the process, Ive never felt so... alive."
Lorne stayed silent, listening intently.
"I mean, what the hell was there before? How did I wake up each day and keep going on without my son, Lorne? Life is nothing compared to having Connor with me every second of existence." Never before had life seemed so meaningless. He remembered those times, the times he, himself, had talked to people feeling nothing at all, but what load of bullshit had he told them? Life was meaningless, it was pointless, and it was nothing at all without that special person to complete you. Angel clenched his jaw, almost spilling the water in the process of controlling his emotions. "I dont want to remember anything before him coming into my life."
"Its understandable, Angel. He's your child. God knows I wished for a reason to wake up in the morning. Brandy's just not cutting it." He was again relieved when Angel let out a small chuckle, his eyes dancing. The vampire started up the stairs once more, fully intent on finishing the journey.
"One day, Lorne,...itd be great to see you completely happy. I hope that day comes soon."
"As do I..." Lorne's grating voice reached an octave lower as he stared down at the mug still resting in his grip.
After a second, Angel nodded once, looking somewhat thoughtful. "Goodnight, Lorne."
"Goodnight..." And once the vampire was out of sight, Lorne tipped out the offending black liquid, fully opposed now to staying awake. He made for a small cabinet and took out a glass bottle, filled with a lighter shade of dark.
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
"Yeah, so the judge was like: 'Next cases!' Gets handed a stack of folders. Says 'Please stand up when I call your name. Antonio Green, Charles Green, Faquan Green, Garrison Green, Jamal Green,' Some shit like 'Jameaquez Green,' " Len laughed, sitting in the dark living room, recounting his day as he took his shots and snorted his line, which made no sense at all to the man across from him. An upper and a downer only made you pass out quicker. "Then goes 'You know what? How about the whole Green family just stand up? I mean, my God, its in the blood, huh?' The whole damn fucking courtroom practically stands and the judge just looks at them all and goes 'Holy Shit!' then looks at the only guy not standing with them, besides me of course, and asks 'You part of the Greens, too?' Guy goes 'No sir!' Judge asks 'Whats your name then?' 'Jeff Green.' The judge just looks at the guard and orders 'Get them all outta here! The whole family's bad! And Jeff killed a man! Take them away.' Looks at me: 'So, Leonard McMully, what did you do this time?' And I stand up, head held high," Len demonstrates, but sitting down, "and shout out 'I aint did it, sir! Whatever the fuck Im in for!' Got a penalty, but the court didnt fuck with me. And they didnt even find out I stole that car. The guy dying worked out in my favor. Found alcohol in his system and I was instantly a free man!"
"How the fuck did you pull off stealing a car?" Dormon growled out louder than usual. Len ignored the attitude coming his way.
"Was my bitch's girl's fucked up deal. I told her," he shrugged. "Brought it back totaled, too."
"And she didnt care?"
Len grinned, lighting up his nicotine stick. "Sexxed her up good. She wont be complaining about anything for quite a while. Wont surprise me if she suddenly turns straight within the next week..."
Dormon nodded, not listening as his gaze flew back from the upstairs to the front door, eyes smoldering with given hate and fists clenching unconsciously every few seconds.
"And this is where you say 'Good job, Lenny boy'-"
"-Good fucking job, Len," Dormon sneered, his eyes traveling back to him as Len leaned forward towards the table again. "Hey, whore, lay off! What have you done, a gram so far?"
Len flinched, sitting up, then grew just as angry. "What the fuck's your problem?" he shouted, then finished what he started.
Dormon turned away again and was silent, then looked back up the stairs. "...He's not back yet"
"Who, the kid?"
"..."
"Maybe the day's not over for him yet." Len glanced lazily at the clock.
It was past 2am.
"Its school, Len," the man stated coldly, pouring himself a double shot of the Jim, then downing it quickly. "Jesus Christ, its fucking school!" He exploding, hurling the little glass at the wall across from him and watched as it shattered.
"Take it easy!"
"..."
"...That was St. Louis, wasnt it?"
"It doesnt matter! If that little cunt shows his face tonight...!" He finished off his sentence with a good chug straight from the bottle, leaning back, as the liquor swirled deeper into his system.
"Where do you think he's at?"
"Probably with him."
"What do you think theyre doing?" Len leaned back also, a silver bowl in his lap with a blue pill inside. He slowly began to crush it up. Dormon was silent, not answering, but Len could feel the heat that suddenly swum into the room. Dormon's semi-quiet fury could practically be felt around the whole house. He finally put his cig out to crush quicker. "Probably in some fancy-ass suite, fucking each other raw-"
"-Shut up, Len! Just shut the fuck up!" Dormon yelled, almost standing up, he was so pissed. He quickly ran a hand through his short and graying hair, his eyes wide and mouth curling in well-formed contempt. "God, just the thought of that...God dammit, thats fucking sick! That little slut! Hell knows I wont have some fucking queer under my roof! Just...hell! Fucking cock-sucker!" He leaned forward again, drinking from his bottle as he rested an elbow on one knee, his head being balanced by a hand that was rubbing at the rough spots along his face. Len shifted his legs, Dormon's last comment taking his mind elsewhere. "I dont even care anymore that he's her's..."
"You keep mentioning that...He's your kid, too-"
"-No, he's not! Watch your goddamn mouth, Len, no, he's not!"
"Calm down-"
"-She...she fucking..." He gave a humorless laugh, eyes wandering to the coffeetable in front of him. "Yeah, thats exactly what she did. She fucked up. With some old college bastard ass in our motherfucking bed. Teacher got taught his own lesson after I got to him, though. One little bitch then comes out of one dumbass cunt moment...What the fuck are we listening to?" His eyes suddenly narrowed.
"This is the new shit."
"What?"
"Its the CD title."
"By who?"
"Manson."
Dormon just stared at his friend as if trying to remember something, then suddenly sneered. "That scary-ass mother-fucking fag with all the make-up?"
"Hey, dont let them hear you say that," Len grinned. "The whole city's filled with his followers and most of them Ive fucked. Kinky lays, le' me tell you. And I looped this, so we're going to be listening to it for a while...if you dont mind..."
"Fag hag." Dormon twisted the cap off his Jim once again and flicked it away, knowing full well he was going to finish the bottle within the night. It was almost 3am now. "Lesbians in your bed and fags singing in your ears. Ive got half a mind to think you approve of the whole fucking lot. Id gather them all up and burn them all one by one if I could. Including the little fucking slut."
Len drank his last shot in front of him, changing the subject. "Drove by your work earlier. Didnt see your car."
"Didnt go; I visited an old friend. I'll go tomorrow...Probably back to a job I dont have. Fifth job lost this year if it happens."
"Congratulations."
Dormon took one more glance at the front door then over at his friend. "Fucker, you havent had a job in years 'cause you have everything cut out in front of you," he indicated his pun, motioning to the two slender lines of blue along the triangular mirror.
Len laughed, beginning the labors of his hobby. "Yeah, good one. Everything I need, sure, but everything I want? Fuck no."
Dormon raised an eyebrow. "What else do you want?" For as long as he had known Len, his friend had a nickname stuck on him and traveling wherever he went. LSD. A sort of pun with the man's favorite drug. Loose women. Snorting. Drinking. That was it. That was all there was to Len. Something else was just...nothing at all.
But Len finally looked up, wiping at his nose, and just gave a small smile. "My secret."
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
Angel walked back into his room and instantly smiled at the sight of his son asleep and curled upon his side in the center of the bed, his back facing him. Setting the glass on the nightstand for future use, he gently sat down and slid under the covers, easily wrapping his large arms around his young boy. Connor instantly reacted to the touch, letting out a small whimper of fatigue that Angel found completely adorable as he both heard and felt it. The boy then blinked sleep out of brilliant blue and turned within his father's protective embrace to face him.
"Angel?" he asked quietly, his voice almost as silent as a whisper as it sounded within the dark and hushed room.
"Shhhh. Yeah, its just me, baby. Go back to sleep," the vampire soothed softly once Connor had positioned himself comfortably under the arms looping around his shoulders and body, but then the boy fidgeted around, quickly becoming embarrassed at his father's words.
"What is it?" Angel questioned, a flash of instant parental worry somewhere deep below.
"Why..." Connor looked unsure whether he should be asking, but gathered enough strength to anyways, while his cheeks darkened a shade. "Why do you call me that? You keep saying it."
But Angel only pulled him closer to his body, smiling as he flicked a loose strand of brown out of the boy's curious gaze. "Its only a term of endearment, Connor."
Now pulled up almost tightly to the vampire, his own arms tucked to his thin chest, he weighed his options of making an effort to relax or fall asleep really uncomfortably. After taking a moment longer to decide while looking up at a calm face and closed eyes, he tentatively untucked his arms and pushed with his right hand to his father's black-clothed shoulder, keeping it there when the vampire didnt budge.
Angel opened his eyes. "Hm?"
"Youre on your side."
Angel was silent, gaze confused.
"This isnt really comfortable."
"Oh." Angel completely pulled away, looking still confused, embarrassed, and slightly dejected all at the same time. Connor laughed at his father's expression.
"Thats not what I meant." He again put a hand to his shoulder and pushed, the man falling lightly onto his back now. Connor then got onto one elbow and came closer, putting his head into the crook of the man's neck and shoulder, looping his right arm across Angel's stomach.
He didnt look back up though to see Angel's reaction, too intent with keeping down his own blush of embarrassment. The man still had his right arm under the boy, now painfully so, so Connor nudged him, silently hinting at him moving it.
Instinctively, Angel went back onto his side, Connor's head falling onto the pillow.
"No," Connor sighed, looking annoyed. "Thats not comfortable." He gave another frustrated sigh before giving up, turning on his own side, away from the man, too tired to care.
Then was suddenly grabbed, turned around quickly, and flopped onto a taut chest, Angel's arm looping around his back.
"This better?" Angel asked, on his back once again and staring up at the ceiling. He felt his boy nod and smiled, oddly enough completely happy he had done this one small feat for him. "Why do you like sleeping on your stomach so much?"
"It just feels weird on my back. I can never get comfortable." Connor snuggled up more and sighed contentedly, smiling, as Angel just gave a small laugh in reply, shaking his head.
"So, term of endearment, huh? But why that word?"
"I dont know. 'Honey' seems too womanly-"
Connor laughed. "Well, you do have girl-like tendencies."
Angel looked annoyed and shocked at the same time. "Like what?"
"Well...like your handwriting. Youre a single guy and you keep everything clean and neat. Your voice gets high pitched when you scream. You like to go shopping. You take really really long showers, and I mean really-"
"-Ok, ok, but all that does not make me a girl. And I have normal handwriting, thank you very much."
Connor just grinned, looking achieved. "And youre always looking in the mirror at your hair even though you dont have a reflection," he finished, patting his father's chest in mock comfort. "Its ok, Angel, you can admit it."
"I have no clue what youre talking about."
Connor laughed and was silent as his father pretended to mope, even though a little part of his pride was still annoyed that his manliness had been scratched at.
"So what do...they call you then?" Angel asked casually, trying to snuff out the flickers of anger and jealousy that flared inside him yet again. "I heard that lady, Emily, call you 'sweetie' the other night. Thats...nice...and womanly."
"Awww, want to call me 'sweetie' too?"
Angel looked annoyed. "Connor..."
But his boy only chuckled and interrupted him. "Yeah, she calls me 'sweetie' alot," he distantly realized he had no clue why they were talking about all this, "and 'honey' sometimes. I never get 'darling', thank the Lord," he curled his lip.
Angel laughed at the face then grew sober. He didnt want to ask, but...
"And him?"
"Who?" But feeling the vampire grow uncomfortable and turn away to stare up at the ceiling, he soon knew the person he meant. "Oh...no, he doesnt call me stuff like that..." Connor unconsciously tightened his grip, lowering his gaze, as he rearranged the blankets around them, trying to find more comfort out of the situation his father was creating.
He didnt want to talk about the Reillys but for some reason, Angel seemed to not want to let the subject go.
"What does he call you then?"
- "Youre damn right I aint drunk!" Dormon yelled. "Now there's nothing stopping me from beating your queer ass!"
"Youre just going to let him get away with it? He skips school and is out with God-knows-who doing God-knows-what and youre fine with it all? What, he gets hit by a van and now we gotta pamper his little ass, is that it? I know where he was last night! That little fucker is lying to us both!" -
"Nothing." Connor closed his eyes. "He doesnt call me anything."
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
Len opened bleary and red eyes to stare up at the ceiling. The dark ceiling. That was always a good thing. After finally realizing where he still was, he turned his gaze to the digital clock on the wall.
5:18am.
He had been asleep for almost two hours. He looked for his friend and saw the other man still on the same sofa, having probably passed out soon after he did.
The music was pounding away strong, still on loop, track number seven's lyrics droning on and on in his drugged up head.
Babble, Babble
Len then slid his dark eyes to the stairs, a small grin forming. Two hours later brought many possibilities. Standing up slowly and smiling even wider as he realized the pill was still in effect, he quietly made his way over to the stairs, looking up as pleasure raced through his body before he ascended.
Bitch, Bitch
With each step, he became even more excited as all the scenarios ever fantasized about the dark headed angel that was most likely just above, played out before him.
Rebel, Rebel
Finally to the door and looking around himself once more for anybody at all watching, he grabbed the doorknob and turned it, swinging the door open slowly as he stepped in with his sick grin still in place.
Party, Party
But his grin was instantly replaced with a frown of disappointment as he looked towards the bed.
The empty bed.
Sex, Sex, Sex, don't forget the violence
Backing up against the wall, Len took out a cigarette and lit it, breathing in deeply.
Blah, Blah, Blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Looking up at another dark ceiling, he still smiled because of how close he had come to finally getting what he wanted, then laughed at the prospect of another chance.
Another chance that, next time, would not be wasted too easily.
Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Are you motherfuckers ready for the new shit?
Stand up and admit it, tomorrow's never coming
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Do we need it? NO!
Do we want it? YEAH!
After awhile of staring at nothing but a bed that wasnt occupied by something he desired, and letting a few choice words slip, directed at the man that presumably had what he wanted, he gave up on his cig and let it drop to the floor, his shoe putting it out into the grey carpet. Looking one last time around the room, memorizing it, he winked where the boy should have been and walked out silently.
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Everything's been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name-
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
Emily Reilly lifted her body from the bed and untucked the covers from around her, sitting up straighter.
Dormon wasnt beside her.
Grimacing at what that meant, she turned her body and put one careful foot on the cold grey carpet, flinching slightly as her toes touched discarded clothes there.
Sighing, she got up.
"Mommy."
Letting out a small "Oh!" of surprise, she whirled and looked towards the door.
A small boy stood there.
Lifting her shaky hand away from her chest, she gave a nervous laugh, shaking her head ruefully at the child. "Christopher, you startled me, why are you still-"
She froze.
"Mommy."
Flinging a trembling hand over her mouth to keep in the gasp, she backed up and sat heavily down on the bed again.
The room spun.
She remembered now.
"Mommy."
"Oh God," she whispered, eyes wide. No, this cant be happening, her brain silently told her, but her vision was not so easily swayed as the trickery in front of her moved closer while looking around.
She gasped outloud now as the child neared, the proximity frightening her beyond belief. "Oh God," she repeated, quieter now as if the thing in front of her was stealing away all her strength to speak.
"Mommy." The boy turned dark eyes on her. "Where were you?"
"Please, oh God please," Emily lifted her head, begging whatever nightmare she had been placed in to end it, to finish the sick torment it was placing over her.
"Were you here?"
Tears leaked free as Emily didnt look over at the boy, instead wallowing in the guilt that was pooling around her.
From her.
"He killed me."
Finally, Emily cried out, letting loose a sob.
"Did you see?"
Her body shook continuously as she sobbed, feeling her heart break in two all over again within her frail body.
"Why didnt you come save me? I was calling you alot, Mommy," came the innocent voice yet again.
"Christopher..." Tears dripped from her chin as she turned to him, face looking far beyond her years and pain lacing her words.
Regret
Grief
Suffering
Heartbreak
Sorrow
"My baby," she cried silently, now trying to see his face, but he was hidden away in the shadows and she could only glimpse his dark hair and pale body. He wore the same clothes, the clothes from that tragic and sinful night, but they were not covered in the very substance she had found him in.
A pool of blood.
Her baby had been laying there as if drowning in his own pool of blood.
"My baby. Oh God, my baby...I-I tried, honey, I tr-tr..." She bit back another sob but the one after escaped anyways.
"You didnt."
And with that, the image vanished, and Emily fell back onto the bed, finally allowing all her screams of pain to break free.
She cried out into the night for her little boy lost.
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
Gasping awake, Emily bolted forward, feeling the tears still work themselves free from pained and confused eyes.
A dream.
No, a nightmare.
Because it came from a memory.
Something real.
Alone in her bed, Emily Reilly continued to sob in anguish, now wide awake in the world she cursed for taking her precious little boy away from her.
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
"Mommy..."
From within Wolfram & Hart, a voice could be heard crying, a child wailing for his mother that was living a life he had been robbed of, and if suddenly following the small and sad lament that others had been cursed with hearing but had efficiently ignored for months now, it would lead across rooms and out doors, down halls and up stairs, through walls and into intricate circles of power, bringing any wondering gazes upon the very thing taken away in life as well as in death.
A sobbing little boy looked up, training dark eyes on the white door directly in front of him.
And from within her closed office, Lilah shivered, looking around as the small yellow glow from the single lamp on her desk was the only light that illuminated the room. After a second of hearing it, she grimaced, looking down again at what she had been reading.
Another important document from W&H's secret archive vault, one that was strictly prohibited from entering unless authorized personnel.
Recent Bindings Using The Black Arts
Oddly enough, Eve was a name included on the personnel list.
Angel, however, was not.
"Its all finally coming to a close," she murmured, rubbing her neck. "Angel will kill us all." She closed the file and switched off the lamp, the office now shrouded in darkness.
"If his son doesnt destroy us first."
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
(A/N): Typos sukk. Well, one question answered there and if u all got the hint of Len and that song (the way I wrote around), you now kno what a sik sik...sikko he is!
Jay: LEN IS DEAD TO ME NOW!
Yeah, he will b, wont he.
Once Angel gets a hold of him.
But thats only after what Len does 1st...heheh. Thats a later chapter, tho.
Sorry again, this is going so slow. If I rushed it, it would REALLLLLLLLYYYY suk and kum out funny. All my quick stuff sounds hilarious 2 me...
Byz XP
