Author: Catgurl83
Title: Burning Memories
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I'm not worth suing.
Feedback: Please, please, please! It is really helpful.
Rating: PG. 13
Author's notes: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this story! I'm sorry I've been going so slowly but that is how I see it.
************
Elisabeth stared out of the car window. Robert had been driving silently for almost a half-hour. She hadn't protested because she sensed that he needed time to get his turbulent emotions under control before he confided in her. Somehow, she knew that whatever he had to say was bad.
Finally, Robert pulled the car to a stop. He looked around and discovered that he had parked in the parking lot of a nearly deserted small park.
After taking a few moments to further compose himself, Robert turned to Elisabeth, who was still sitting quietly beside him, and said, "Let's take a walk."
They strolled quietly for a few moments while he tried to put his overwhelming emotions into words. Tried to find a way to express his haunting past and the memories that defined it.
"I was married," Robert finally said.
Elisabeth stopped in shock. That was the last thing that she had expected him to say. Robert married, she mused. She could not picture it.
"My wife's name was Natalie," Robert continued after they had resumed walking. "I met her during my internship. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I didn't have time for a relationship. But I was drawn to her like a moth to light. I just couldn't stay away from her. I tried to keep the relationship slow but it spiraled out of my control. We were married almost a year after we met."
Elisabeth studied Robert as he spoke. The Robert she saw now was not the Robert that she knew. His face had softened and he was speaking in an animated tone. He had really loved this Natalie, Elisabeth realized with a start. No, he hadn't loved her. He had been in love with her. She had obviously been his world.
They approached a bench and wordlessly sat down.
Elisabeth watched the light in his eyes fade. It was replaced with more anguish than she had ever thought possible. "What happened?" she whispered softly, almost afraid of what he was going to say.
Robert stared blindly out at the small pond in front of them. His voice was devoid of emotion when he started speaking again. "We were married for a little over a year when Natalie told me that she was pregnant. She was ecstatic. She wanted a child more than anything."
"And you?" Elisabeth prompted after a moment of silence.
"I wanted the baby," Robert answered without hesitation. "When we first discussed having a child, I was hesitant. But I could picture a little girl with Natalie's caramel candy eyes and long, silky, hair. That image filled my mind until I forgot my objections."
Elisabeth watched as his eyes clouded with emotion.
"Our little girl, Jubilee, was born two weeks early."
Elisabeth saw him smile. It was one of the very rare smiles that wasn't cynical and was reflected in his eyes.
************
Flashback
************
"Isn't she wonderful?" Natalie stared down at the tiny baby, wrapped in a pink blanket, lying in her arms.
"Yeah," Robert answered in an emotion-choked voice.
Natalie smoothed a soft brown curl on the baby's head. She already had a full head of fluffy brown curls and she was only four hours old. "We need to decide on a name." She said softly so as not to wake the sleeping child.
Robert nodded. They had been discussing names for months but had decided to wait to choose one until they saw the baby. Natalie had been sure that the baby would instantly show a distinct personality, which would make naming her easier. "What do you think of Joy?" he suggested quietly.
Natalie raised an eyebrow curiously.
"She brought us joy," Robert said simply.
Natalie gave him a soft, tender, smile. "Yes," she agreed, in a near whisper. She stared down at the baby for a few minutes before speaking again. "I like the thought."
"But?" Robert prompted, he knew his wife.
"But I'd like something more original. Joy is overdone. I want her to have a unique name. A name she won't have to share with several children in her kindergarten class. A name that will assure her of how special she is."
Robert pondered that for a few minutes. Natalie was right. But he wanted a name that basically meant the same thing. "Jubilee," he whispered the word.
"Hmm?"
"Jubilee," Robert said louder, meeting her eyes. "Her name is Jubilee."
Natalie gazed down at the sleeping baby. "Jubilee," she murmured. She raised her eyes back to Robert's. "It is perfect."
************
"Jubilee was just that; jubilant. She was happy, energetic, and exultant almost all of the time. Even as an infant, she rarely cried. When she cried we knew that she needed something. She didn't just cry so that we'd hold her," Robert went on, as he shook off the memory. "I couldn't have been happier. My life was perfect. I didn't think anything could spoil it."
Elisabeth swallowed hard. She could hear the raw pain in his last words.
"On Jubilee's first birthday she had a doctor's appointment," Robert continued. "Nattie wanted me to go."
***********
Flashback
***********
"I can't Nattie."
"It's her one year check up," Natalie protested.
Robert sighed. "I know that. I want to go."
"Then come."
Robert shook his head. "I can't," he repeated. "I have to work."
"Trade with someone," Natalie suggested.
"Natalie I can't. I can't just trade my shift with someone because my daughter has a doctor's appointment. It is just a checkup."
"It is her birthday," she reminded him.
He sighed again. "I know that and I wish I could spend it with her," He ran his hand through his light brown hair. "We'll do something with her on my next day off."
Natalie sighed. She knew she wasn't going to win this time. "Fine," she finally agreed reluctantly.
***********
"I chose my job over my wife and daughter," Robert said quietly. "I should have gone with them."
"Robert, we all make mistakes," Elisabeth told him. "It is tough to balance family and work. It isn't easy to decide what should come first "
"After they got home from the doctor's appointment, Natalie put the baby in her stroller and walked to a popular ice cream parlor that was only a few blocks away. They had made that trip countless times."
Elisabeth took Robert's hand. She instinctively knew that the next part was difficult for him.
Robert stared out at the ducks floating peacefully along the pond. "When I got home from my shift, she wasn't there. I called her entire family and all of her friends. No one knew where she was. I knew the doctor so I called him at home. He confirmed that Natalie and Jubilee had been there and had left around noon. I called the police but they couldn't do anything because she hadn't been gone long enough and there wasn't any evidence of foul play."
Elisabeth tightened her grip on his hand.
"Her car was in the garage so I knew she couldn't have gone very far. I went down to the ice cream shop and the girl at the counter said that Natalie and the baby had been there at about one-fifteen. It was almost seven by then. I drove between the house and the ice cream shop looking for them," he stood up and started walking again. The familiar desperation clawed at his throat as he forced the sentence out of his mouth. "I found Jubilee's stroller pushed into a ditch."
*************
Title: Burning Memories
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I'm not worth suing.
Feedback: Please, please, please! It is really helpful.
Rating: PG. 13
Author's notes: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this story! I'm sorry I've been going so slowly but that is how I see it.
************
Elisabeth stared out of the car window. Robert had been driving silently for almost a half-hour. She hadn't protested because she sensed that he needed time to get his turbulent emotions under control before he confided in her. Somehow, she knew that whatever he had to say was bad.
Finally, Robert pulled the car to a stop. He looked around and discovered that he had parked in the parking lot of a nearly deserted small park.
After taking a few moments to further compose himself, Robert turned to Elisabeth, who was still sitting quietly beside him, and said, "Let's take a walk."
They strolled quietly for a few moments while he tried to put his overwhelming emotions into words. Tried to find a way to express his haunting past and the memories that defined it.
"I was married," Robert finally said.
Elisabeth stopped in shock. That was the last thing that she had expected him to say. Robert married, she mused. She could not picture it.
"My wife's name was Natalie," Robert continued after they had resumed walking. "I met her during my internship. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I didn't have time for a relationship. But I was drawn to her like a moth to light. I just couldn't stay away from her. I tried to keep the relationship slow but it spiraled out of my control. We were married almost a year after we met."
Elisabeth studied Robert as he spoke. The Robert she saw now was not the Robert that she knew. His face had softened and he was speaking in an animated tone. He had really loved this Natalie, Elisabeth realized with a start. No, he hadn't loved her. He had been in love with her. She had obviously been his world.
They approached a bench and wordlessly sat down.
Elisabeth watched the light in his eyes fade. It was replaced with more anguish than she had ever thought possible. "What happened?" she whispered softly, almost afraid of what he was going to say.
Robert stared blindly out at the small pond in front of them. His voice was devoid of emotion when he started speaking again. "We were married for a little over a year when Natalie told me that she was pregnant. She was ecstatic. She wanted a child more than anything."
"And you?" Elisabeth prompted after a moment of silence.
"I wanted the baby," Robert answered without hesitation. "When we first discussed having a child, I was hesitant. But I could picture a little girl with Natalie's caramel candy eyes and long, silky, hair. That image filled my mind until I forgot my objections."
Elisabeth watched as his eyes clouded with emotion.
"Our little girl, Jubilee, was born two weeks early."
Elisabeth saw him smile. It was one of the very rare smiles that wasn't cynical and was reflected in his eyes.
************
Flashback
************
"Isn't she wonderful?" Natalie stared down at the tiny baby, wrapped in a pink blanket, lying in her arms.
"Yeah," Robert answered in an emotion-choked voice.
Natalie smoothed a soft brown curl on the baby's head. She already had a full head of fluffy brown curls and she was only four hours old. "We need to decide on a name." She said softly so as not to wake the sleeping child.
Robert nodded. They had been discussing names for months but had decided to wait to choose one until they saw the baby. Natalie had been sure that the baby would instantly show a distinct personality, which would make naming her easier. "What do you think of Joy?" he suggested quietly.
Natalie raised an eyebrow curiously.
"She brought us joy," Robert said simply.
Natalie gave him a soft, tender, smile. "Yes," she agreed, in a near whisper. She stared down at the baby for a few minutes before speaking again. "I like the thought."
"But?" Robert prompted, he knew his wife.
"But I'd like something more original. Joy is overdone. I want her to have a unique name. A name she won't have to share with several children in her kindergarten class. A name that will assure her of how special she is."
Robert pondered that for a few minutes. Natalie was right. But he wanted a name that basically meant the same thing. "Jubilee," he whispered the word.
"Hmm?"
"Jubilee," Robert said louder, meeting her eyes. "Her name is Jubilee."
Natalie gazed down at the sleeping baby. "Jubilee," she murmured. She raised her eyes back to Robert's. "It is perfect."
************
"Jubilee was just that; jubilant. She was happy, energetic, and exultant almost all of the time. Even as an infant, she rarely cried. When she cried we knew that she needed something. She didn't just cry so that we'd hold her," Robert went on, as he shook off the memory. "I couldn't have been happier. My life was perfect. I didn't think anything could spoil it."
Elisabeth swallowed hard. She could hear the raw pain in his last words.
"On Jubilee's first birthday she had a doctor's appointment," Robert continued. "Nattie wanted me to go."
***********
Flashback
***********
"I can't Nattie."
"It's her one year check up," Natalie protested.
Robert sighed. "I know that. I want to go."
"Then come."
Robert shook his head. "I can't," he repeated. "I have to work."
"Trade with someone," Natalie suggested.
"Natalie I can't. I can't just trade my shift with someone because my daughter has a doctor's appointment. It is just a checkup."
"It is her birthday," she reminded him.
He sighed again. "I know that and I wish I could spend it with her," He ran his hand through his light brown hair. "We'll do something with her on my next day off."
Natalie sighed. She knew she wasn't going to win this time. "Fine," she finally agreed reluctantly.
***********
"I chose my job over my wife and daughter," Robert said quietly. "I should have gone with them."
"Robert, we all make mistakes," Elisabeth told him. "It is tough to balance family and work. It isn't easy to decide what should come first "
"After they got home from the doctor's appointment, Natalie put the baby in her stroller and walked to a popular ice cream parlor that was only a few blocks away. They had made that trip countless times."
Elisabeth took Robert's hand. She instinctively knew that the next part was difficult for him.
Robert stared out at the ducks floating peacefully along the pond. "When I got home from my shift, she wasn't there. I called her entire family and all of her friends. No one knew where she was. I knew the doctor so I called him at home. He confirmed that Natalie and Jubilee had been there and had left around noon. I called the police but they couldn't do anything because she hadn't been gone long enough and there wasn't any evidence of foul play."
Elisabeth tightened her grip on his hand.
"Her car was in the garage so I knew she couldn't have gone very far. I went down to the ice cream shop and the girl at the counter said that Natalie and the baby had been there at about one-fifteen. It was almost seven by then. I drove between the house and the ice cream shop looking for them," he stood up and started walking again. The familiar desperation clawed at his throat as he forced the sentence out of his mouth. "I found Jubilee's stroller pushed into a ditch."
*************