Disclaimer: See Prologue
A/N: This one took ages to write but I really wanted to do it. It's another photo I have in my library though the circumstances were considerably different.
A/N: Well I've started NaNoWriMo so I won't be updating until December now. Thought I'd leave you with something melancholy so when I get back and write something super cheery, it'll be even better.
Lupin seemed to find something deeply ironic and moderately funny, and Sirius appeared to be somewhat in on the joke. Harry, deciding that feeling like a simpleton would be the theme for the evening, picked up the next photograph and smiled softly. The relationship between the two young men in the photograph was always kept, he felt, deliberately vague and it appeared to be something that Lupin did not wish to attract any attention to.
"When was this taken?"
Lupin took it from him and remained silent for quite some time, watching his younger self idly leave the frame to fetch what he vaguely remembered to be brownies, while James, still indignant about the bunny ears over his head, took a seat at the table in the background and returned to a very large glass of Firewhiskey.
"I think it was shortly after you were born. Definitely the winter of that year. October maybe though I seem to remember it as Christmas, but I don't think it could have been that late."
Harry nodded. "Well, there are fairy lights up around the um…cooker…thing."
The 'cooker-thing' looked like something out of Beauty and the Beast. It was too big to be allowed, taking up most of the kitchen and looking as though it was about to come to life and taste human flesh.
"They were up all year," said Lupin. "My mother thought they were pretty and nobody argued with my mother." He smirked. "They still don't. I don't even have the nerve and she's my mother."
1980
Pop!
Lupin didn't notice the tell-tale sound of Apparation, or chose to ignore it, and continued his fervent almost caress of the rosary beads in his hands. He was kneeling on the floor, in front of the AGA and if James didn't know better, he was sniffling his way through his Hail Maries.
"If this is what you have to do-"
"Remus?"
Lupin got to his feet and wiped his eyes. "Can you take that damn cloak off?"
James let the Invisibility Cloak slip through his fingers and land in a heap at his feet. "Can we talk?"
Lupin shrugged. "I don't know what's left to say." He sighed deeply. "I always told you that no-one would give me a break because I'm what I am."
"And I always told you that I didn't care."
They locked eyes and Lupin lost the stare-out, knowing his argument was ridiculous.
"Listen, Remus, whatever was said-"
"-that I was a traitor-"
"-was said by people who don't know you. I-"
"-don't believe any of you would sell me to Voldemort. I know, James. You've said it so many times I can repeat it word for fucking word. What? Are you hoping that if you say it enough, it'll be true?" Lupin was shaking with anger. "Because the truth is that someone would. Someone is."
James remained calm. "Remus, if this is about what Meadows said-"
Lupin rolled his eyes. "I don't care what Dorcus sodding Meadows says about me. Let her believe what she wants. Never mind the fact that I've saved her decidedly huge arse on numerous occasions. I don't care."
James bit his lip. "Look, it's obviously a bad time. I'll come back soon."
Lupin sighed softly. "What's the point? What do you want?"
He turned to Lupin and in his eyes was defeat - defeat and melancholy longing. "I want to go back to being how we were. I want to be back at school. I want to be James and Remus. I don't want to be an Auror and a Werewolf. I don't want a war. I don't want an Order. I just want us to be four friends again. Is that honestly too much to ask?"
Lupin smiled sadly. "You think I don't want that too? Life's just not that simple anymore."
"But it could be. What if we left it? What if we all just hid ourselves away and-"
"And what? And wait for it all to blow over? And wait for Voldemort to just give up because he's had a bad day?"
The room seemed so much smaller, as though the walls were closing in on them. The heat radiating from the AGA was intolerable.
"You're my best mate, Moony. I know I wind Wormtail up, and I do crazy, illegal stuff with Padfoot and Muggle electrics, but you and me, we do things together. I read the books you talk about so I can discuss things with you. I eat all your experimental desserts. There's a friend for every side of me, Remus. I mean, when he grows up, I'll probably develop a nice new personality for Harry to be mates with-"
Lupin smiled wryly. "-until he turns thirteen when you will be a knob. And not just any knob. You will be the knob who has to live vicariously through him."
James laughed. "There. See? That's the you I made friends with. You don't get it. If you bugger off, the side of me that vaguely pulls off being an intellectual buggers off with you. I don't want that, Moony. If you go, who's going to make cupcakes for when I'm feeling low and want us all to watch musicals?"
Lupin raised an eyebrow. "Not me. Whatever happens, that person won't be me."
James grinned at him. "And who will watch old-school Hollywood with me?" He sighed, suddenly serious. "It's not you. I know it's not you. I've known you ten years nearly. I've known Meadows ten weeks. No contest, mate."
Lupin nodded. "Come here."
CLICK!
"Have a brownie and stop talking about imminent death. It's doing my nut in. I'm bored of it, frankly."
James took a swig from the glass of Firewhiskey left out on the table. "Remember when you slapped Mulciber with a tree?"
"Remember when you went round telling all the girls to call Pad Snuffles?"
"Remember when you walked in on Peter?"
Lupin shuddered. "With disturbing clarity."
"Are you sure it was only oral?"
Lupin made a face. "I don't want my brownie anymore."