You Lost Me

Chapter Twenty-Tree - Dangerous Closeness

Elena didn't know why Damon had insisted for her to take that bedroom but what her sleepy state prevented her from noticing a few hours ago was now clear. It was his bedroom. And she remembered faintly thinking about how his house would reveal things of him that she didn't know. His bedroom certain did.

It was decorated in colonial style and she was actually surprised. She had expected him to be very modern about his furniture and decoration. But Damon Salvatore was full of surprises. She walked around the big room paying attention to each detail. He definitely kept someone to clean it because there wasn't any powder over the furniture. Everything was very clean-cut. But it wasn't the maintenance that got her attention but the personal touches.

Sometimes she wondered where Damon and Stefan had spent the decades they'd been living. They certainly had many properties all around the country if not the world and she could tell that Damon had lived in that house for awhile.

There was a collection of old albums in a shelf and some CD's and DVD's in another one just below a big plasma TV and home theater. There was a small desk and a few books in a small bookshelf behind it. There weren't many books but she could see that some were contemporary while others probably dated from his time. His bedroom was tidy but not so much. It seemed that his personal objects were in a random place just so they wouldn't be thrown around the room. She couldn't explain how she felt it but his bedroom sent a coziness feeling to her unbeating heart. She liked it.

It surprised her that there wasn't one single black object in the decoration. Everything was very light, except for the red bed sheets and the curtains. The curtains were the only contrast but she knew it was probably because of the sun. Not because it would cause him any problem but because she knew he didn't want the sunlight to wake him before he planned to. Their dark shade of blue had allowed her to sleep like an angel not being bothered by anything.

But then something caught her attention. With the back turned to her she identified a small portrait over the desk. She couldn't imagine Damon keeping such things as a picture of someone on his desk but it was there. It was a beautiful woman. She had dark hair, her skin was pale but not too much and she had the most beautiful and sweet blue eyes. It almost reminded her of his but Damon never looked tender like that. The woman in the picture held a small smile but her whole facial expression told Elena that she was happy. She seemed to be in her late twenties and Elena doubted the picture was too old because it had a high resolution, not something from when he was a human or the beginning of the past century. She was curious about the woman but before she could actually touch the frame she heard his footsteps and sped off to her bed.

"Are you awake?" he whispered.

"Yes" she answered. She thought about lying about it but maybe he also heard her while she walked to his desk.

"Can I come in?" he asked and she was actually surprised. The Damon she knew would never ask that question. He would rather open the door uninvited. Actually he wouldn't even ask if she was awake.

"Yes"

"For a moment I thought that instead of turning into a vampire you turned into a fairytale character like Sleeping Beauty" he quipped as he entered the room.

"What time is it?" she asked curious looking around in search of any clock but didn't see any.

"Almost two in the afternoon"

"I thought sleeping wasn't a need to vampires. Why would I sleep so much?" she asked hugging her knees. She didn't know why he kept some distance. She wanted him to be closer, she wanted to know more about the man behind the cozy bedroom.

"First, you're a newbie. Second eternity can be a damn long time if you don't sleep some hours off" he shrugged the last part as he sat on the bed and she felt relieved. Not only because he was getting physically closer but also reminding her that he didn't ask permission to do anything he wanted.

"Ohhh" she answered insightfully.

"So I didn't actually ask you about your preferences and I don't want you to deal with human blood because I do. So if you want to keep my brother's diet I could teach you how to hunt" he suggested, going straight to the subject he came there to talk about. He had been thinking about her the whole morning since he woke up. The previous night in the hotel had made up for all the bad nights he had while looking for her so he found himself waking up a little bit after ten in the morning.

He tried to focus on her life as a vampire instead of explore his feelings. He didn't want to be selfish again and mainly because this was his mess to fix. But the pain those feelings brought also made it difficult for him to keep them in his mind. He knew she would never be his. He was convinced that her love for Stefan would prevent it from happening but even if it changed he wouldn't. He didn't deserve her, especially not after letting Katherine kill her.

So he kept his thoughts about her life and how he could make it easy for her to adapt. It was then that he thought that maybe she wanted to be like Stefan, especially if they were going to spend eternity together. He didn't want her to have a problem with human blood like his brother had but he needed to let her make the decision about her diet.

"I don't think I'll ever kill an animal in my life again. It was gross" she almost shivered in disgust of herself remembering what she did.

"Cows are actually too big and please keep the details to yourself. Stefan prefers puppies for a reason, maybe you should give it a try" he also grimaced. He couldn't imagine himself killing an animal to drink its blood.

"No, I prefer human blood. I just need to learn how to control the cravings. I don't want to look at people and see them like a hungry character in a cartoon. I'll keep the bag blood diet" she said with conviction and Damon didn't expect any less from her. He admired and loved her for that fierceness.

"Don't you have any problem stealing the blood is going to be used to save lives?" he raised his eyebrow.

"It's saving my life just as much. And maybe even others' lives as it can help me to keep the urges to kill someone at bay" she reasoned and he had to admit it was a good reasoning.

"It's still stealing"

"Why are you trying to convince me otherwise?" she grew suspicious about his insistence. It wasn't like Damon to keep going on and on about all the crimes vampires usually committed. He usually gloated about it.

"Trust me that's not what I'm doing here. I just want you to think over what you want your life to be before we set up a plan. You need to know all the consequences and everything involved in each of the possibilities. Once you're on human blood it may be very hard for you to go back to animal blood. There will be no time for regret later" he looked straight in her eyes knowing that it would intimidate her but she returned the fierce glare nodding her head.

"I used some of the time I spent away to think about my options, Damon. I know it involves more than stealing but also messing up people's minds but it's better than hurting someone and risking the chance that I might kill them" the confidence in her voice blew away his doubts about her decision.

"If human blood is your option I still think you should try getting it from people"

"No way! I'm not going to use people like that. It may be okay to you Damon but it couldn't be any more wrong to me" she protested immediately, shaking her head and showing how she repudiated the idea.

"I don't mean to actually feed on them as a diet Elena. No one can predict the future and it's important for you to know how to control it if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to feed from someone or when the temptation is just bigger than your will. This is not about me and my preferences Elena. I told you this is about you. When I hand you back to Stefan I want you to be able to control yourself like he couldn't. This is not something he can help you with" he approached her and there were a few inches separating their faces. He was determined to teach her well and prepare her for everything they might face.

"I'm not a good to be handed back to someone" she responded indignant. She hated when they talked about her like that, like she wasn't capable of making any decisions or taking care of her own. If it bothered her as a human it was unacceptable as a vampire. But her protest also helped her to focus on something else other than his mesmerizing eyes so close to her own. Their noses were almost touching and she could feel his cool breath against her skin and the thin hair around her lips and in the back of her neck stood because of the proximity.

"When you decide to run back to my little brother's arms you better have your emotions and cravings controlled. As much as he'll want to help you if a situation like this ever comes there's also the possibility of him going crazier than you" he looked down at her, his chest barely touched her bent legs. He couldn't stop himself from moving his eyes to her lips. They were never this close to him since the day they kissed. Actually except for that day they were never that close. But thinking about the kiss they shared wouldn't help his control. If he kept that thought in his head any longer he'd bring her lips to his and kiss her for the rest of the day.

"Stefan only lost control back then because he had my blood. If he doesn't taste human blood at all it won't cause him any problem. He's been around bleeding people more than once since I've known him" she offered as she felt intimidated by him. He was so determined and his gaze didn't flinch for a second. Hard and tough, threatening and menacing. But for the millisecond his gaze moved to her lips all she could see was desire and passion. She blinked a little longer than usual because she didn't know if he wouldn't see the same emotions in her own eyes.

"But I have a feeling Saint Stefan will be giving his diet up very soon" he offered a knowing smirk to her. For a moment he was happy about her reaction but he soon resumed his tough expression. He couldn't be that person anymore. Not to her.

"And why is that?" she took a deep breath and looked away slightly.

"Because we finally figured out what dearest Kat's plans are. The bitch shared them with Little Brother" he explained, standing up from the bed. She was supposed to feel relieved by the growing distance between them as he walked to the other side of the room but her heart ached. She liked the closeness, she wanted him to be close again but his words soon got her attention.

"And?" she asked impatiently. She wanted to know why Katherine decided to turn her.

"The first vampires to ever walk on earth are called Originals. These are the most powerful vampires you will come face to face with and some believe they've been living for over a millennium. According to the legend the oldest one is Klaus and obviously the bitch had to annoy him at some point of her existence and he seems to want her dead more than he wants the next sorority girl's blood" Damon said through tight lips.

"And she turned me for him to kill me instead…" Elena quickly caught what Katherine would want.

"Bingo" he smirked clapping his hands.

"But what does it have to do with Stefan?" she asked honestly confused.

"That's the easiest part of the theory Elena. Brother doesn't stand a chance against me or Katherine because of his lame diet. Do you think he'll face Klaus off while feeding on bunnies and Bambi?" Damon rolled his eyes mentioning his weak brother.

"But if this guy is as old as you think he is, will it make any difference? What are 146 years compared to someone that witnessed Christ on the cross?" she threw her arms in the air. Was that what her life had become now? She couldn't allow herself to enjoy the moment of closeness with Damon because she had to worry about Stefan and her own safety and surely Damon's. She knew the older brother well enough. He'd die to protect her and Stefan and it made her heart shrink in her chest. He was always ready to protect her and defend his brother. It seemed like he never thought about his own life when it came to the two of them.

"Didn't know you're religious. Maybe we should just make a prayer instead?" he smiled sarcastically as he tried to understand her frustration. It didn't seem like she was frustrated about Stefan's potential choice. It would make her annoyed and angry with his stupidity but not frustrated. He wished he could read her like he used to. She seemed so cryptic lately.

"Damon, I'm serious. His diet won't give him a better shot and that's your assumption anyway. I'm sure Stefan knows what he eats won't make any difference at the end of the day" she hoped that was the decision her boyfriend would do because she didn't think it'd help them if Stefan lost control. She could not deal with him losing control again. She knew it was a selfish thought because if Stefan ever drank human blood again was because of her. But there was so much going on in her mind now. She wanted to explore whatever she felt for Damon. She had been a coward as a human and she wasn't going to repeat it as a vampire. She wanted to be close to him to finally understand if she was infatuated, attracted, drawn or even in love with him. She needed that answer and the only conclusion she got was she had to be close enough to him to know it.

"Except that love can make you do stupid things, Elena. He asked me to take care of you and I know what he means and what he expects" he turned his face from her as he talked about Stefan's love for her.

"Did he?" her voice softened without her even noticing it.

"Yes, he wanted to confirm that the manipulative bitch wasn't lying again" Damon explained quickly trying to cover the pain in his heart.

"Well there's always the big possibility that she is" she tried to cool off but she was already concerned as she could be about Stefan.

"But it sounds like a good plan. I'm sure Kat collected a few enemies during the few centuries she's been around. I just didn't expect her to be dumb enough to get on the nerves of an Original" he leaned on his desk, resting both of his hands by his sides.

"So now the most powerful vampire of all time wants me?" she smirked wryly.

"Don't you feel flattered?" he mimicked her reaction.

"Damon" she said in her best 'this is serious' tone.

"I don't know Elena. I'm just as skeptical about whatever Katherine says as you but it doesn't matter. I won't let you die because I didn't count on it. Been there, done that" the pain and the guilt he tried so hard to hide became raw and evident.

"Damon…" she moved from her spot in the bed and stood in front of him, tempted to touch him and say everything he needed to hear but before she actually made a decision he let his moment of vulnerability go.

"But that's not my point here. If Stefan is on human blood or not, if the originals are after you or not, it doesn't matter. You have eternity ahead of you and I know things can go very different from what we've planned or expected. It's just easier when we're prepared to face the unexpected if it happens" he looked away and moved to the chair behind the desk, trying to keep a comfortable distance but being so close to her, even more emotionally than physically was too much for him to bear.

"I'm not ready for it. I'm not ready to talk about it. Let's just keep the blood bags coming. We'll talk about it when I'm ready" she admitted with a low voice that nearly broken his dead heart.

"I'll let it go for now Elena but we'll talk about it again sooner than you expect" he warned firmly, combating both of their vulnerabilities and she didn't mind that for once he was his usual tough self. She wanted to figure out her feelings for him but when he brought Stefan to the conversation she realized that she needed to figure out her feelings for her boyfriend too. Maybe she needed to have both by her side or none but she knew she was still very far from a conclusion.

"Thank you" she offered with all honesty she had in her being both knowing she was thankful for more than him postponing the subject.

AN: Hello guys! I definitely like this chapter better, the title of it says why, and I like the topic of their conversation as well. It's very important for Elena to know how to control feeding in someone.

I don't know if you guys didn't realize it but I told in my last AN that one of them will say the three-word, eight-letter phrase in the following chapters, remember? Nobody wanted to guess who will it be? Who will admit their feelings first? Elena or Damon? And then there's the big question of this chapter. Who is the woman in the picture that Damon kept?

Next chapter has some action - although not romantic action yet - and things won't look good to Elena. Also it's another 100% Delena chapter but those who are interested in more interactions they'll head to Mystic Falls soon.

Thanks a lot to my beta May and her amazing job and my reviewers: spiritedghost; DreamtoAspire; xLoveRyanx; Silvian; bluestriker666; Avecia; jacks-peapod; TtoboggI; ahhh; tsukivamp; damvampsal21; MsMaeve18; Oceanmina101 and Mmayghaen17.

Have a nice week.

Babi