Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. ~Author Unknown

"You sure we have enough beer?" Jim asked from where his head was buried in the refrigerator.

"Yes, dammit. For the fourth time. We have enough of everything," Bones said with a frown, staring at Jim. "Get out of the frig before what's left of your brain freezes."

"I was just checking," Jim protested, closing the door and straightening up. "How's Scotty?"

"Ornery. Can't understand why he has to stay on the couch."

Jim shook his head at that. Many of the people coming to the party knew the unvarnished truth about Scotty. Those who didn't would be led to believe that he had hurt himself during one of the repairs he was forever doing around the house – both Jim's and his own. They didn't think they would be pressed for details so vague information was the safest way to handle it.

"Hikaru," Jim called from the kitchen.

"Stop yelling for him like he's a dog," Bones scolded as he continued chopping the fresh vegetables for the salad.

"I don't know where he is," Jim said in his own defense.

"What do you want him for?" Bones demanded. "Everything's ready."

"What?" Hikaru said when he appeared in the wide entryway to the kitchen. "Why are you shouting?"

"Sorry," Jim said with a shrug. "Did you go into the basement for the wine?"

"I told you I did," Hikaru said with an uncharacteristic frown. "Why are you being so needy? It's not the first party you've ever had."

"I am not needy," Jim said in a huff. "I just want everything to be perfect. You know. For Marjorie."

"Of course," Hikaru said, sarcasm dripping from the word. "Everything's taken care of. Take a freakin chill already."

"Don't you work for me?" Jim asked, reaching over the fridge for their biggest salad bowl. "Should you be talking to me like that? And where have you been?"

"I was checking your Facebook stats. You now have slightly more than 567,000 fans. Why that is I cannot imagine," Hikaru informed him.

"Because I'm utterly awesome. You know it. Everybody knows it. Did you update my status to remind them?" Jim laughed.

"I'm going to update it to announce what a pain in the ass you are," Hikaru said.

"You're fired," Jim said not for the first time. "Well. As soon as the party's over."

"Leonard," Hikaru complained.

"Shut up, Jim. Or he really is going to walk out and never come back," McCoy warned.

"He is not. Because he adores me. How could he not?" Jim said with a silly grin.

"Shut up," Bones and Hikaru said at the same time in the same tone.

Jim shrugged, tossing the salad with the dressing until he deemed it sufficiently coated. He handed it to Hikaru who put it on the buffet with some of the other food. The dining room table was already groaning under all of the dishes that had been placed there. One of the counters in the kitchen was covered with desserts and plates, ready for anyone who wanted to partake.

"I guess you expect me to get that," Hikaru said when the doorbell rang.

"If you don't have anything better to do," Jim said with a smile. Hikaru shook his head and went to the door, opening it to greet Marjorie and her date, Eric Higgins. He was a professor at the local university and they had been together, on and off, for three years. Jim and Bones thought that he was a fine man but Marjorie could do much better.

"Hikaru," Marjorie said, kissing his cheek before letting Eric help her out of her coat. "You are looking well."

"Thanks," Hikaru responded, smiling at Eric. "Professor."

"Good to see you again, Hikaru," Eric said, also giving his coat to Sulu who put them both in the closet.

"Jim and Leonard are in the kitchen," Hikaru said, waving them that way before going to see what Scotty needed.

"Marjorie. Eric," Jim and Leonard said in greeting, happy that the guest of honor had arrived.

"Hello, love," Marjorie said to Jim and Leonard in turn, kissing each of them. "This is for you." She extended the huge poinsettia to Leonard who took it with his thanks before placing it next to the foyer Christmas tree, adding to the festive atmosphere. "Are you coming to Tuscany with me?" she was asking Jim as Leonard returned.

"When are you flying over?" Jim asked while pouring several glasses of wine. Eric was helping himself to a beer at Jim's invitation.

"First of the year. Eric is coming until classes start back up. On the 14th?"

"The 14th," Eric agreed, pouring the beer into a clear glass stein.

"If Eric's going, what do you need Jim for?" Leonard asked.

"I don't speak Italian," Eric reminded them.

"I barely speak it," Jim said, shaking his head.

"You speak it well enough to help me find a place to live," Marjorie said with a warm smile.

"Are you movin' permanently, dear? Or just for a while?" Leonard asked.

"Just for a while," Marjorie said. "I only want a little apartment. A pied-à-terre if you will."

"That's French, not Italian," Jim laughed.

"See," Marjorie said. "This is why I need to come with me."

"I'll take it under advisement," Jim promised. "Spock may not allow me to leave town. If I don't finish all 209 revisions."

"209?" Marjorie asked, trying to suppress her laughter.

"Color-coded," Hikaru added as he crossed through the kitchen on his way to the front door.

"He told me that," Marjorie agreed. "209, huh?"

"Yes," Jim sighed.

"You poor thing," Marjorie said, shaking her head. "Is he coming tonight?"

"He said he was. I told him 7:00. You can bet he'll be here exactly at 7," Jim said.

"Of course. He's a Vulcan," Marjorie said, turning toward the foyer when he heard Chris talking to Hikaru. "Christopher."

"I always feel like I'm going to be kept after school when you call me that," Chris laughed, kissing Marjorie, shaking Eric's hand.

"Do you deserve to be in a time out?" Marjorie laughed.

"Not as much as Jim does," Chris told her.

"What'd I do?" Jim asked in complete innocence.

"Nothing yet. It's only a matter of time," Chris reminded him, everyone laughing.

"Is Richard coming?" Eric asked Jim when there was a pause in the conversation which had migrated to the living room. They were clustered around the fireplace, Scotty talking more to than with Marjorie.

"He is," Jim agreed. "Please try not to fight with him all night."

Eric shook his head at Jim's words. "We don't fight all the time."

"Only when you're in the same room. Or conscious. Why are you always so angry with him?"

Eric shrugged innocently, sipping his beer. "Because he deserves it. His linguistic development theories are so much hogwash."

Jim sighed, shaking his head. "All right. If you're going to fight, please do it in the kitchen. Or the garage."

"You got it," Eric laughed.

"I warned Eliza that you were going to be here. Hopefully she'll have the same talk with Richard," Jim said, figuring it was ultimately hopeless. Eric was certain his theories were accurate which made Richard's completely wrong. Eric was still laughing as Jim went to the front door to greet the newly arrived guests, friends all happy to be included.

As predicted, Spock arrived precisely at 7, entering the house with a bottle of Vulcan wine as a host gift.

"Come on," Jim said when Spock's coat was in the closet. "I'll introduce you around."

"That would be appreciated," Spock agreed, his hands clasped at the small of his back. Jim thought he looked slightly disapproving in his black and gray Vulcan attire but then Jim hadn't really seen him looking any other way. Nearly everyone else had on jeans as did Jim and Bones, the parties at Jim's house always casual and slightly uncontrolled. But not in a bad way, in a the neighbors have called the police again way. The fact that Jim's closest neighbors were in fact 3 miles away helped with that as well. And the sheriff, who was currently standing in his living room, would be the one called. If it ever came to that.

Jim started the introductions with the guests in the kitchen, where he put the Vulcan wine on the counter with the other less exotic wines. The Vulcan wine stood out with its sensuously curved bottle. "This is Dr. Leonard McCoy," Jim said, Spock and Leonard eyeing each other, measuring, weighing.

"It is good to make your acquaintance, Dr. McCoy," Spock said, not sounding at all pleased about it.

"You too," Leonard said, sounding even less happy. Jim hoped there wouldn't be a throw down between them but if there were, he'd just make sure he was clear of the fight. "Can I pour you a drink?"

"A glass of chardonnay," Spock agreed. Jim didn't miss Bones' frown as he turned to comply.

"This is Christopher Pike," Jim said when Chris wandered up. "I know you've talked on the phone."

"Several times," Chris agreed, studying Spock with a knowing eye. "Good to meet you."

"You as well," Spock said, accepting the glass from Bones without any acknowledgment. Jim felt Bones stiffen right before he left the kitchen. Jim tried very hard not to look directly at Chris who he knew would be laughing inside. "We must meet to discuss the terms of Jim's contract."

"Sure," Chris said casually. "I'll have my assistant call your office on Monday."

"Yes," Spock said. "Will you be accompanying Mr. Pike?" Spock asked Jim.

"Depends," Jim said with a shrug.

"On what, precisely?" Spock asked, sounding disapproving.

"My schedule. If I'm available. If Chris wants me there. You know."

"I do not know," Spock said evenly, looking from Jim to Chris and back.

"Jim does what he wants. For his own reasons, his own way," Chris told Spock with a laugh. "Nothing will change him. Though God knows I've tried."

"What? Now I'm a trained seal?" Jim asked, trying to sound indignant but not really succeeding.

"I failed to bring a bucket of raw fish with me," Spock said, to the surprise and delight of those who heard.

"Apples and pizza are much more effective," Chris said in a low voice as though he was confiding a real secret with Spock.

"If you'll excuse me," Jim said, shaking his head. "I'm going to find a cluster of people who actually like me."

"Good luck with that," Chris said as Jim left the kitchen, Chris and Spock talking casually.

"Where's the pointy-eared hobgoblin?" Bones asked Jim when he spotted him coming into the living room.

"Talking to Chris. I may or may not be the topic of conversation," Jim said with a shrug, turning to smile at Pavel who had rushed up to them. "Pavel."

"Jim. This is a kicky party!"

"Thank you," Jim said with a laugh. "Where did you stash Hikaru?"

"Last I saw, he vas talking with Dr. Barnett. Karu is thinking he vill go back to schooling in next semester."

"That makes sense," Jim said. "Although it may be too late for him to apply."

"Karu says he sent the papers already in. He did not say to you?"

"No," Jim said with a shrug. "Well. Richard will make sure he gets in."

"Da. This is what Karu says. You vill speak vith Dr. Barnett for him?"

"Of course. I doubt he'll need my help but I'll talk to Richard," Jim agreed.

"Da," Pavel said with an enthusiastic nod. But then he didn't do anything that wasn't enthusiastic.

"Have you seen Eliza?" Jim asked Pavel.

"Da. She and Madame Kel'pol are in your office. Talking," Pavel said.

"I'll go check on them," Bones said, wandering away and chatting with each guest as he came to them.

"He is angry?" Pavel asked, looking the way Bones had gone.

"Mr. Spock is rubbing him the wrong way," Jim said, smiling at Pavel's confused expression. He used the Russian equivalent, Pavel laughing in understanding.

"Vhere is Miss Uhura? She vill be cheering up the doctor?"

"That's an excellent question," Jim said. "I have no idea."

"I vill go ask him. Da?"

"Yes please," Jim agreed, turning to speak to some of the other guests as they came up to chat, including the sheriff who was in jeans and a denim shirt. That he was both a fan and a friend of Jim's helped cut down on the number of times his department would actually investigate an overly loud party at Jim's.

"I hear you're going to Italy with Marjorie," Sherriff Rosenstein said with a smile when there was a brief pause in the conversation.

"I haven't entirely decided, Burt," Jim replied. "I already have a lot going on."

"True enough," the Sherriff responded. "Sarah's always wanted to go. One day we will."

"Where is your beautiful wife?" Jim asked.

"Uhmmm…." the portly Sherriff said, glancing around Jim's crowded living room. "Well. Truthfully, I have no idea."

Jim laughed at that, shaking his head. "Marjorie and Eliza are in my office. Maybe Sarah's with them."

"That's probably it," Burt agreed, turning to talk to with another neighbor who had come up. Sam and Denise also came up, talking to Burt and Jim. Burt and Sam started talking professional football, Denise rolling her eyes in a good natured way.

"I'm going to see if I can drag the guest of honor back to her party," Jim said.

"I'll come with you," Denise offered. Jim gladly accepted her company, going down the hallway to his office. He wasn't surprised to find it nearly overflowing with women, laughing, gossiping, some nearly giggling. They greeted Jim and Denise, insisting that Denise join them. Among them was Nyota who turned her bright smile on Jim when he entered.

"Hello, love," Jim said, kissing her cheek.

"You are looking very pleased with yourself," Nyota said warmly. The other women agreed with her overall assessment.

"I have a house full of friends. They're all having a good time. I'm surrounded by beautiful women. Why shouldn't I be satisfied?" Jim asked with his most charming smile. "Where's Tahla? She came with you, didn't she?"

"She did," Uhura agreed. "The last I saw of her, she was mediating an argument between Richard and Eric on the linguistic origins of Japanese versus Chinese."

"At least someone is," Jim said. "I came to ask Marjorie if she wanted to return to the main party. But I see now that isn't going to happen."

The women laughed at him, Nyota putting her arm through his. "Come on. I'll help you find Mom."

"Okay," Jim agreed. "If y'all get bored, there are 209 corrections that need to be made to Cereec'o." They were still laughing as Nyota led him out of his office.

"I met your new Spock," Nyota said in a low voice. "Len said you were threatening to have him killed."

"Or kill him myself," Jim agreed.

"I can see why. Mom would disapprove but my heavens. He sure thinks highly of himself, doesn't he?"

"He does. He's very different from Marjorie," Jim said going with her into the sunroom where they found Tahla, Eric, Richard, Chris, and Spock, sitting on the wicker furniture and engaged in a lively debate about noninterference policies as they related to underdeveloped countries and/or planets. Jim heard enough of it to know that Spock didn't share the opinion of the Humans gathered, that Vulcan should share the technology that made their interstellar travel possible. Jim was in the 'we are ready to go out there' camp but the number of Humans who were of like minds was of no interest to the Vulcan High Council. They would share their technology when they saw fit – not before. And Jim knew that no one would persuade them otherwise. "I'm glad you found something to discuss that hasn't yet erupted into fisticuffs."

They laughed at his words, everyone except Spock naturally. He gazed at Jim as though he had begun speaking an unfamiliar language. Well, it wasn't the first time someone had looked at him like that. "I didn't say hello when you came in," Jim said to Tahla.

"You were nowhere to be found," she agreed, standing gracefully to accept his hug and light kiss. She looked especially splendid in her blue silk top and black pants. She wore flat shoes so she did not tower over Jim. Her salt-and-pepper hair was swept up in an elegant knot on top of her hair, blue rhinestones peeking out. "I thought maybe you had returned to Paraguay without telling anyone."

"Of course not," Jim said with a smile. "I'd tell you so I could convince you to come with me."

She shook her head at him. "You are an invariant flirt, aren't you?"

"You can't be surprised," Nyota told her mother.

"I'm not, dear. I simply believed age would mellow him."

"Maybe it still will," Jim said to her with a saucy wink.

"Not likely," Tahla said, shaking her head. "If you gentlemen will excuse me, now that I've found Jim, I'm going to take the chance to talk to him." The men gathered naturally agreed, Nyota accepting their invitation to join them. Leonard was coming into the sunroom as Jim and Tahla were leaving, Jim winking at Bones.

Jim and Tahla went into Leonard's office that was empty, mostly because that door was kept closed. Not that there was anything particularly personal except for some medical records on the desk that he had brought home from the hospital to review over the weekend.

"The Consortium met yesterday," Tahla said in a low voice. She and Jim were sitting on the leather loveseat, certain that they would not be overheard outside of Leonard's office. "They asked that I make sure to thank you for getting Scotty and Pavel out safely."

"It wasn't such a big deal," he assured her. "Sam did the heavy lifting."

"Not what he told me," she said brightly. "No matter. We're a little concerned about your new representation."

"Marjorie never figured it out, Tahla. Do you think Spock will?"

"He's a Vulcan, dear. Smarter than the average bear. Chris can keep him in the dark for a while. But I am frankly concerned he's going to grow overly curious about your frequent and unexplained absences."

"What are you proposing?" Jim asked, a sinking feeling in his stomach he was trying very hard to prevent from showing up on his face.

"Nothing drastic, darling," Tahla assured him, one of her hands covering his. "Just that you take a short sabbatical. At least until you're ready to return to Paraguay. You can detour on your way and put in some hours for the Consortium. Keep your certification current."

Jim considered her words, turning them over in his mind. He'd been a member of the Consortium for longer than he'd been a published author. They had put him through college, undergrad and graduate school. The fact that they saw his potential as a linguists was much of the reason for their initial investment. Now the North American bureau chief was telling him that he needed to step away from his secret life. And he didn't know how to feel about that.

"It's only temporary," Tahla said kindly. "For your protection."

"Mine? Or the Consortium's?" he asked. He very nearly sounded bitter but she was not surprised. Nor would she ever hold it against him.

"What do you imagine would happen if Spock discovers you are not only one of the leading linguists of this or any generation, but also one of the most feared assassins?"

"I'm not an assassin. As such," Jim said.

"Of course not. You are much more than a mop-up artist. But the fact still remains that at the Consortium's behest, you have taken out at least four dozen of the world's worst criminals," she remained him, a note of pride in her voice. "How do you suppose Spock or his father would react to that?"

Jim sighed. Juggling two lives, being called on to use his skill at language, for good in all its various forms, going out on assignment - yeah, sometimes it was all too much. Rarely. But sometimes it just was. Not to mention being a best-selling writer. He never intended to be a cultural icon. Seriously. Damn Ophra and her damn book club. "I don't know."

"You know I understand," Tahla said quietly. "Look at it like a vacation. You can finish your 209 color-coded edits. Talk to the NY Times book review editor. Sleep. Swim. Run. Plan a wedding for Nyota and Leonard. Go to Tuscany with Marjorie."

"You've been busy," he said with a laugh. He shouldn't be surprised she had learned all of that in short order. Nothing got past Tahla Uhura. "If I agree, can I kill Spock first?"

She laughed at that, a lovely, light sound that eased his mood. "Now, darling, you know you can't mix your two lives like that. He'll relax, I promise. He's afraid of disappointing Sarek. And of scaring you off. He has next to no experience as an editor. I'm pretty sure he knows he's in over his head. But when Sarek tells you are going to be an editor, you are an editor."

"Have you talked to Sarek?"

"I haven't yet. But I plan to. I'll call as one of your patrons. He won't be overly surprised. As you were once a starving writer slash professor of linguistics. If the Consortium had just let me buy House Net'no'kwa, all of our lives might have been simpler," she said. There was no bitterness in her voice because she would always do what the Consortium advised. And one day she would be the international head of it. It was only a matter of time.

"Why did they say no?" Jim asked.

"They were afraid it would initiate an investigation into all of my holdings. It would take a very long time to find any ties to the Consortium but they were not willing to risk it," Tahla explained.

"I guess that makes sense," he agreed reluctantly.

"Will you take the sabbatical?" she asked warmly.

"I'd like to talk to Chris and Bones first," he said. "It's a big step."

"No one is asking you to leave the business, darling."

"I always thought no one leaves alive," he laughed.

She shook her head at that, smiling at him and warming his heart. "Your mom did. Proof enough, isn't it?"

"I figured they fired Winona. For bossing everybody around."

She shook her head again. "She thought raising her babies was more important. I'd say she made the right decision. Especially after George was killed."

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "Did she tell you she's coming for Christmas? I'm not sure if I'm the reason or Chris is."

She laughed at him, her dark eyes sparkling in amusement. "I'm sure it's a toss-up. Are Sam and Aurelan coming?"

"She didn't say," Jim said with a shrug.

"She didn't say or you didn't ask?" Tahla asked with a knowing smile.

"Both," he said. "They can come if they want. He's the only brother I have, after all."

"I don't suppose you told him he's welcome?"

"No," he admitted. "You'll come for dinner while she's here, right?"

"Of course. You only have to tell me when. Maybe I can even drag Kheri along with me."

"Where is your wayward husband?" Jim asked.

"Ireland? I'm not entirely sure. He should call tomorrow."

"Come in," Jim called at the light knock on the door. "Hey."

"Your guests are asking about you, although I cannot imagine why," Bones said, coming the rest of the way in to close the door.

"Aren't they our guests?" Jim asked with a laugh.

"I'm the anti-social one," Bones reminded him.

"Should you be saying that in front of your future mother-in-law?" Jim asked.

"I already know, dear," Tahla assured Jim. "Nyota loves him anyway."

"Surprisingly," Jim said, shaking his head. "The Consortium wants me to take a sabbatical."

"How so?" Bones asked, looking from Jim to Tahla. They explained what Tahla had said, Bones giving it serious thought. "Wasn't he going to be sent to the cocaine cartel's winter summit?"

"No," Tahla said. "We were planning to send Sam and Hikaru."

"I see," Bones responded. "How do you feel about stepping away?"

"I don't know," Jim admitted. "I can't imagine being out of it for any amount of time."

"I can understand that," Bones said. "Well. Put on your party face so we can go back out. Chris is planning to stay over. We can talk to him tomorrow."

"That will help," Tahla said with a warm smile. "They aren't angry. You know that, right?"

"I do," Jim said.

"And your pay won't be interrupted."

"Like he needs it," Bones grumbled as they went to the office door. "You could not pay him for the next year and he'd never notice."

"That's so not true," Jim protested. "I'm one book royalty away from being out on the street."

"What street? 5th Avenue? Isn't this house paid for?" Bones asked as they went back into the living room.

"Maybe," Jim said with a shrug, speaking with the party-goers still clustered in the open space around the crackling fire.