I do not own any of the South of Nowhere characters nor do I own the lyrics from the song All I Need by Within Temptation

"Your definite main goal is a set of thoughts…thoughts you control. Desire is an emotion which you create and control. Enthusiasm is a state of mind also subject to your control. Desire plus enthusiasm is the pulsating force to create things from thought."

Spencer's POV

They brought her back and she no longer looks like my Ash. Her eyes have been shut by some tape, a big long tube hooked up to a machine is lodged inside her mouth and there was nothing I could do but stare. My parents are under the illusion that I'm caring for my best friend, a person that knows me well but I know better, I know that there's more. My heart beats for her; she's more than just my friend she's the one and only person to truly understand me, the only person to make it possible for me to be me in a world that rejects anyone for being different and the only person to smash my heart in a million pieces and still even though I wanted to hate her so much for what she did I couldn't I loved the girl and now she was laying there now lifeless, I couldn't see her dark brown eyes burning into my soul.

A doctor comes in and he shakes his head as he checks over her. I don't think he saw me when he did this but he now turns round and sees me stood directly in front of him. I try to keep calm and I ask what's happening to her, he says he cannot disclose any information as I'm not direct family and that when they come they can disclose the information with me. I now feel lost and alone, I need to know what's happening. I now get on the floor and I beg and plead for him to tell me, I still can't find it in me to cry because I'm so scared that she may be gone from my life forever. He looks down at me and pick me up from off the floor; he looks at me now with wide eyes and tells me he is sorry and that he wished he could tell me something. I go back now to staring at Ashley blocking everything else out, the only noise in the room now is the quietness of the machines working that are keeping Ashley alive and the steadiness of her heartbeat.

All of a sudden Kyla rushes in. Nothing prepared me for the look on her face it was totally distraught, I couldn't help but feel like I had done this to her sister, I had done this to her. Ashley's mom then came in and just didn't look surprised at all to see her daughter lying there in a hospital bed he face was almost smug. I looked at her in disgust, I wanted to rip her head off right there but I knew this wouldn't help Kyla at all. I walk towards Kyla and just wrap my arms around her, she crushes her head into my chest and she starts to cry. I realize that I have to be strong for her and so I just stand there holding her. The doctor starts to talk to Brenda and I peel Kyla off me so that she can hear all that the doctor has to say, he starts by saying that the operation was a complete success on their part and that they won't know whether she'll make a full recovery until she awakes from her coma. Kyla lets out a sigh of relief and then we both go sit beside Ashley. Ashley looks so lifeless you can't even begin to know how I feel at this precise moment, a part of me feel ripped out and just wants to be in with her so that she doesn't seem all alone trapped inside herself and it'll give her a reason to keep fighting.

It's the next day and I still refuse to leave Ashley's bedside. Her moms gone back home and Kyla has gone with her mom to get her things and move back into her house back here in LA so that she can be closer to Ashley. I take this opportunity to sit on the chair beside Ashley and to hold her hand. I hold it up to my cheek and whisper "Can you still see the heart of me? All my agony fades away when you hold me in your embrace" I then get closer to her ear never letting go of her hand and plead with her to stay with me, I get my free hand and start to stroke her cheek and start to hum the song Flames by Vast because to me that is our song. This is the song we made love to for the first time and if anything resembled our souls coming together as one it was that song. I only got through a quarter of the song and I couldn't carry on as I was finally crying, my boundaries had finally broken and I was so broken because Ashley holds the key to my heart. I wipe the tears from my eyes and plead with her again to wake up for me and then say to her "Make my heart a better place, give me something I can believe. Don't tear me down you've opened the door now don't let it close".

I suddenly see her leg twitch and I call for a nurse. The nurse comes and she does it again, I can't help but be overwhelmed with happiness and relief. The nurse tells me they expect her to wake up anytime soon because she is a fighter. I think to myself my Ashley's a fighter and I know that somewhere deep inside of her body she is trying to break free for me, or at least I hope she is because I don't know what I'd do if she rejected me. I just can't think of that now, right now my baby is fighting for her life and I can't do anything but wait.

My parents have come to pull me away from her and I put up a good fight but in the end all this worry and stress made me weak and I couldn't win. I go back up to Ashley just before I go and I whisper to her that I would be back tonight and I gave her a kiss on the back of her hand and said to her "I've tried many times but nothing was real, make it fade away. Don't break me down I want to believe that this is for real, save me from my fear don't tear me down", I had no care that my mom was heavily catholic and really didn't like Ashley that much after she found out she was gay but as I was being pulled away she went over to Ashley and told her that she was going to pray for her but she also held her hand and gave it a little squeeze and a rub as if to say everything is going to be alright. We left the room and I couldn't do anything but think of her laid in that room alone with nobody to comfort her and nobody to be with her when she wakes up. To be honest I felt like total shit right now and the only person who could bring me back to reality when I got like this was Ashley.

Ashley's POV

I'm swirled by darkness yet I don't feel scared, I feel no pain there's just me and my thoughts. Is this death? Why do I seem to be on a one way track to nowhere? Am I being punished for leading my life the way I did? Please let me feel, let me feel her. If I were to wish for anything it would be for me to have one last chance to be with her to have her touch my skin, to feel her cool, bone chilling breath that makes me sweat with the want and the need to be loved and touched. I really need to get out of here; number one it's too dark and number two I'm scared of this place. I see a light and I walk towards it, I know that many people believe in the stupid saying of don't head towards the light but anywhere has to be better than where I was and even if this was death isn't someone sent to collect you?

As I head into the light I can suddenly feel again and I ache like a bitch. I open my eyes to find myself in a hospital bed, I just lay there for a while being accustomed to my surroundings and I notice the room is just totally white and on the bedside table there is a bunch of red roses. The roses look so beautiful and there's only one thing in this world that's more beautiful than them and that's Spencer. I'd hoped that she would be by my bedside but I suppose if Paula had anything to do with it she wouldn't be able to come to the hospital to see my because that woman fucking hates me with a passion. I don't even see why her and her faith have a problem with gays, it's not like we're an infection that go round spreading germs, we are normal human beings with the same feeling s. They say that having sex with someone of the same sex is unnatural but in my opinion aren't the actions the same? If anything people like her are just fucking hypocrites and should just let people fall in love with whoever they choose.

My thoughts are now interrupted by a nurse coming in who realises that I'm now awake and rushes round me so that I'm more comfortable so she can call the doctor down. The doctor comes down and does all of the basic routine checks and then says to me that I had a lucky escape, he pulls up an x-ray and tells me that if the knife had gone half a centimetre horizontally I would have bled to death. This reality makes the desire for Spencer's touch more prominent and I start to think back on how I got myself into this mess.

I start to go through every detail; I remember the woman stood down the side of an alleyway injecting me with the drugs I'd paid her for, the fact that I'd accidentally stumbled upon the beach where Spencer had told me she liked girls, that man coming to me knowing my name wanting to rape me, the feeling as a slashed his chest (which by the way felt so fucking good), the anger on his face as he overpowered me, the grin on his face when he said I was to be punished, the way he just stabbed me, kicked me in the head and just left me there for dead. I now remember the way I shouted for help and nobody coming to save me, until I saw her. I saw Spencer rush towards me compressing my wound telling me that she was there for me and that everything was going to be okay. I now start to think that maybe it was all my imagination that Spencer came for me, God I wish these thoughts were wrong but I couldn't be sure not until she walked through my door and told me. I now start to think of how I hurt her and how it most probably wasn't her because I'd crushed her heart, I'd crushed our relationship, I'd crushed her thoughts and most importantly I crushed one of the things I loved most about Spencer I'd crushed her ability to feel for me.

I now can't control the tears that now stream from my eyes and I just lay their crying, I was crying so much and so loudly that I didn't hear the door open and someone come through it. I now feel a hand covering my face, I can see now; I see that it's the man who attacked me on the beach that night. Nothing prepared me for this and all I could feel now was frightened. Adrenaline started to course through my veins and I was unable to move. He leans into my face and shouts why couldn't you have died? He starts to act all weird and I seek an opportunity to press my nurse's button, as she comes into my room I bite his hand and I start screaming for her to go get help. Just as she was about to quickly leave the room I hear a gun fire and something hit the ground hard, I start to wail and beg for forgiveness from him trying to tell him that I've learnt my lesson and that I'd do anything he wanted. He now gets his gun and with the handle he smashes it into my face as I just lay there too frightened to move still. The only thing I can do now is try to forget what he was doing to me because I knew that this time he would surely end my life, so I start to think of Spencer and all of a sudden I can almost feel her touching, stroking and squeezing my hand.

He draws me out of my thoughts by ripping my gown of me exposing me. His eyes now light up because of the fact that I'm naked and he tells me to beg and plead for forgiveness again. I do as he says and I suddenly see that he is now aroused, he then unzips his trousers and brings his cock towards my mouth. There's nothing I can do, I cannot move my body I can only move my head, this kills me as I know this is going to be one of those killings where you are tortured and raped till the end. As he goes to put it in my mouth I bite it. It's not just a bite it's more of a clamp and I hear him scream in pain, he now tells me I'm going to pay for this and he gets some of the tubes from the machines I was on and he wraps them around my neck and starts to pull tight. He then pulls out a knife and slits the top of my throat so that I'm bleeding out all over the place. The last thing I remember seeing is him smiling as my life is yet again slips away from me and everything goes black yet again...

All I can feel now is choking, I can't breathe there's people all around me and I panic. I see a tube come from my mouth and I can finally breathe again. I start to scream telling them to help me and that I was dying from where he'd cut me. All of a sudden I see her.

She looks so distressed and I tell her to break free before he kills her too. She just stays stroking my face telling me to calm down and that everything was going to be okay. I beg and I plead her to leave because I love her and she does something unexpected, she plants her lips on mine and I melt as at last my soul and hers are together again. She finally releases her lips and tells me that I've been in a coma for the past 5 days and that from now on she was going to be here and we could be together. I look into her blue eyes and just cry as I know that the nightmare is over and I have all I need sat next to me. I have her.

I would like to know what you think. Please review I'll look forward to whatever you thought =]

I sort of have a plan for my next chapter but would love to hear your suggestions so that I can make an amazing chapter for you all