Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you. ~Author Unknown

Jim entered the headquarters of the Consortium, greeting all those who spoke, speaking with a few of his friends, talking about Prague and Tuscany. He wasn't surprised when he looked over at the door to Chris' office to find him staring at him with a frown. "Hi ya Chris," Jim said, just to annoy him that much more.

"I said 9:30. Do you know what time it is now?" Chris asked, trying to sound stern. Trying and failing.

"No idea. Not here. In Tuscany it's…" Jim checked his watch, pulling down his sleeve. "3:45. In the afternoon."

"Which means it's 9:45 in the morning here," Chris pointed out.

"Hmm… good to know," Jim laughed.

Chris shook his head, closing the door when Jim was finally inside. "How are you doing?"

"Doing what?" Jim joked.

"Shut up. I will have you killed," Chris threatened.

"No you won't. You would miss me. Otherwise you wouldn't have called me once a day."

"I most certainly did not. You are delusional, just like Leonard says," Chris groused.

"You wound me," Jim said dramatically, both hands over his heart.

"Right. Seriously, Mr. Wise-acre. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. You know. I stayed busy. He didn't call me."

"I'm sorry," Chris said. "I have your galleys."

"Oh," Jim said. "He didn't want to give them to me himself?"

"He thought it best if I did. Are you going to call him?"

"Is there any point?" Jim asked seriously. "He made his opinion crystal clear. Is he even still my editor?"

"Yes. I talked at some length with Sarek."

"Great," Jim sighed. "Did he ask you to have me killed?"

"Of course not. He feels guilty. As guilty as a Vulcan ever will show. He knows if he hadn't kept Spock in the dark, this wouldn't have happened."

"That sounds more like Spock's mom," Jim said.

"Ahh… while I was talking to his father, you were talking to Amanda."

Jim shrugged. "She called. We talked. She feels bad about what happened. She said Spock talks about me once in a while. She's sorry she and I never met."

"I am too. She loves Spock without question. And she only wants him to be happy."

"Apparently staying away from me is the way for him to accomplish that," Jim said.

"Not necessarily. I suggest you call him. At least let him know you're back."

"It won't help," Jim said.

"All right. Do you want to remain on sabbatical?" Chris asked, less sympathetic and more business.

"I don't care. Do you need me?"

"Not right now. And you're still scheduled for Oprah on February 12."

"Yeah," Jim acknowledged. "There's an Ice Floes concert there on the 10th. Bones said he'd go with me."

"Good. He finally decided he's leaving the hospital?"

"Yeah. They were making more and more noise about regular hours, committees, blah blah blah. Can you really use him full time?"

"You are a full time job," Chris reminded him. "Anyway, I assured him we would employ him full time. Since he's also a psychologist. He'll be handy to have around. We'll pay him what he gets from the hospital. Not that he really needs it. Living with you. Or marrying Nyota. But I know he refuses to be kept."

"True," Jim laughed. "He'll be a lot better off working for you full time."

"He'll actually be working for Tahla," Chris pointed out with a smile.

"We all do," Jim agreed.

"You a little less than some," Chris said.

"Yeah, I know," Jim said with a shrug. "How were things here while I was gone?"

"Surprisingly quiet. You attract trouble. Were you arrested or hospitalized in Europe?"

"Nope. No arrests. No medical emergencies. Mom made sure. Are you coming to dinner tonight?"

"I'm planning to. Winona invited me. She also invited me to breakfast," Chris confided with a smooth wink, making Jim laugh.

"I see. Well. Good for you, I guess. You can have my room. It's more soundproof than the Jane Austen room."

"Should you be having this discussion about your own mother?" Chris asked.

"Maybe not. Are you going to be my new daddy?" Jim asked, making Chris frown at him. "I know. I know. You can have me killed."

"Yes I can. And I'm more tempted by the minute."

"You don't scare me. You know that, right?"

Chris snorted at him, reaching over for the galleys. "Can you have them back tomorrow?"

"Isn't tomorrow Saturday?" Jim asked, accepting them.

"Yes. Sarek will have a special run once you return them. We're cutting it close to get it on the shelves as it is."

"It wasn't my schedule. They decided. Marjorie tired to tell them but they knew best."

"So I've noticed," Chris agreed. He told Jim of what he had missed while he was gone, routine missions involving several members of the Consortium, a handful more on the schedule to be undertaken in the next few weeks.

"Don't you want me to go to Tasmania?" Jim asked, looking over that mission briefing.

"No. It's at the same time as your appearance on Oprah. Hikaru and Scotty can handle it. We may send Pavel but he has class."

"Hikaru is in graduate school, isn't he?" Jim asked. Sure, he should have known. But he didn't. Sulu hadn't discussed it with him and he only knew it was a possibility because Pavel had mentioned it at Marjorie's party. Lord. That was a long time ago.

"You don't know?" Chris asked with a laugh.

"I'm way too self-absorbed to keep up with him," Jim said.

"I won't argue with that. He is in graduate school. But since he has Richard as his instructor and advisor, it's not a problem."

"Okay. Hikaru isn't planning on asking me to do his homework, is it?"

"Hardly. He wants to pass. Have you seen them since you got back?"

"No. They're coming for lunch. Hopefully they're bringing lunch."

"They better if they want to eat," Chris agreed.

"That's for sure. It's okay if Hikaru and I go to Paraguay in late March?"

"Of course. We'll manage to get by without you. Although it won't be easy."

"I do know that," Jim said with a smile. "How are you getting the galleys back to Spock?"

"I'll collect them in the morning. And then I'll drop them off."

"Works for me," Jim agreed. "If you don't need me for anything else right now, I'm going to go and do my homework."

"You are dismissed," Chris agreed with a smile.

"Thank you kindly. Is there something specific you want for dinner?"

"I want to make sure you aren't cooking," Chris teased.

"I can cook," Jim protested.

"Yeah. And then you get distracted and write two new chapters and the rice burns. You are the only person I know who can actually burn water."

Jim shrugged innocently at that. "All right. Mom and I will find something to make. If Pavel and Hikaru are too…busy to cook."

"Good. Are you going to just rent them rooms in your house?"

"I've considered it," Jim laughed. "I should build a guest house. So they'd be close by but not all up into my business."

"You love having them into your business," Chris pointed out.

Jim shrugged, putting his coat on. "I'll see you later."

"Right. Call Spock."

"No," Jim said, leaving Chris' office, Chris' laughter following him out.

Jim said goodbye to his friends, returning to his car and taking out his cell phone. He called Hikaru who confirmed that they were on their way for lunch and bringing everything they needed to make it. He then called Winona who said there wasn't anything in town she needed. Taking a chance, he called Bones, leaving a message when there was no answer. His phone tempted him to call Spock but he really didn't see any point in it. They had said everything that needed to be said before Jim went to Prague.

He got home before the boys, talking briefly with his mom before going into his office with the galleys. He vaguely heard Pavel and Hikaru come in the house and speak to Winona but he didn't pay much attention to their sounds. If any of them needed him, they'd know where to find him.

He started when his phone rang, looking at the display and refusing to notice the tiny spark of excitement that had flared at the first sound. "Hello," he said when he answered, a smile in his voice.

"What the hell, Jim?" Christine Chapel demanded. She'd been the hospital administrator for three and half years, an extremely capable and caring chief of operations. That she adored Leonard was beyond question, in a purely platonic he's an incredible surgeon kind of way.

"Good to hear from you, Christine. How can I help you?" Jim asked with a laugh.

"Don't try to butter me up, young man," she said, making it sound as though she were old enough to be his mother. Which she was not. Older sister, yes. Mother, definitely not.

"Are you having a good day?" Jim teased. He could hear her answering sigh.

"I am most certainly not having a good day, thank you very much for asking. You really talked him into quitting?" she asked with weary resignation in her voice.

"I'm not the boss of him, Chris. He makes his own decisions for his own reasons," Jim reminded her.

"What's he going to do? Beside your laundry?"

"He's a world renowned surgeon. Hikaru and Pavel do our laundry," Jim laughed.

"Yes, he is a world renowned surgeon. Who until half an hour ago worked at a world renowned health care facility. Now he's gone and quit."

"He doesn't really work for you," Jim reminded her.

"What difference does that make?" she asked firmly. "He said he was leaving. I know you're behind it."

"I'm not," Jim said. "You are too harsh a task master. 'Patient Safety and Satisfaction Committee.' Really Chris?"

"All right. That was a mistake," she conceded. "Corporate decided all employees were required to serve on at least one committee."

"He's not an employee. Did Corporate factor that into their equation?"

"They don't distinguish between employees and sub-contractors," she admitted.

"Except with trivial things like bonuses, health insurance, and profit sharing."

"It was his decision not to be an employee," she said. But there was no firmness to her statement.

"I'm sorry for you that he's leaving," Jim said. "But I promise you I didn't convince him."

"I know," she sighed. "I needed someone to take it out on and Tahla refused to answer her phone."

"I don't know if she's home, love. Nyota said something about Tahla and Kheri going to Minnesota. Bad timing if you ask me."

"Okay. I'll call Nyota now that I'm calmer. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"No harm no foul," he assured her. "Do you want to come to dinner tonight? Mom's here. And Chris Pike is coming."

"Thank you, dear. I can't. I have a date," she said with a lovely laugh.

"With your husband?"

"Maybe. Maybe it's not any of your business," she said.

"Tell Geoffrey hello for me," Jim said he said with a smile in his voice.

"I might. If I'm not still mad at you," she said.

"I understand. And I totally deserve your ire. I can only hope one day you will be able to forgive me."

"I'll consider it. It would come a lot easier if you happened to make a donation so we can finish the children's wing," she said, laughing when he sighed.

"How much is your forgiveness going to cost me?"

"I'll take that up with Pike. You can call and tell him you agree."

"Without knowing the price?" Jim laughed.

"Phhhht," she said. "A pittance. A trifle. I promise not to name the wing after you."

"Can you name it after Dr. Cranky?"

"That might cost extra," she laughed. "I'll call Pike. I'll tell him you said it was okay for him to give me whatever I want."

"Well. I guess it's worth it if you forgive me," Jim said. "Can he call me after he writes the check so I'll know how long I have to go without eating?"

"I'll consider it," she said. "You know I love you. Even if I am mad at you."

"I love you too, Christine. I'm just sorry you married Geoffrey before I had the change."

Her laugh was his reward. They hung up after their final farewells.

He reviewed several more chapters before Chris Pike called to tell him how much his forgiveness was costing him. Jim was surprised that it wasn't more and told Chris to please make sure they had everything they needed. And that any naming rights were to be in honor of Dr. Leonard H. McCoy.

As he was hanging up, the same Dr. McCoy appeared in his doorway.

"What are you up to?" Bones demanded, one eyebrow lifted in warning.

"Proofing galleys. Making sure Christine Chapel forgives me for making you quit. Naming a hospital wing after you. You know. The usual."

"I do not want that wing named for me," Bones said sternly.

"Too late. As I understand it, they've already ordered the letters for the side of the building," Jim laughed.

"It didn't occur to you to ask me what I thought of that idea?"

"Nope," Jim said. "Is lunch ready?"

Bones snorted and continued on to his bedroom as Jim went into the kitchen to find Pavel and Hikaru actively finishing up the preparations for lunch.

"Where's Mom?" he asked them as Hikaru peeked into the oven.

"Uhmm… Not sure," Hikaru said. "Pasha. Have you seen her?"

"It is my turn to vatch out on her?" Pavel asked, laughing when the other two did.

"I'm right here," Winona said as she emerged from the pantry with a bottle of red wine.

"Hey," Jim said with a smile. "I thought maybe they had lost you."

"I'm not that easily distracted. That's you," she reminded him. "You want some Pepsi, dear?"

"Sure," Hikaru agreed.

"I think she meant me," Jim suggested.

"Maybe," Winona said with a smile, fixing a glass of Pepsi for each of them.

"What are we making for dinner?" Jim asked. "Chris seems to think I'll burn it if I try to cook by myself."

"You are a fine cook, dear," Winona said.

"When he can focus long enough," Bones said when he entered the kitchen in jeans and a warm sweater.

"You really did it?" Hikaru asked. "You really left the hospital?"

Leonard shrugged at that. "It was cramping my style. Pike said the Consortium will employ me full time. And will match my salary."

"Good for you. I'll bet Chapel was happy," Winona said.

"She blamed Jim. Just as well," Leonard said.

"It has alvays vorked for us," Pavel agreed with an innocent smile.

"So I've noticed. Is Nyota coming for dinner?" Jim asked.

"Yep. She said she should be here by 4:30. Talha and Kheri are coming home on Sunday," Bones mentioned. This prompted them to discuss where they had gone and what they had been doing in Minnesota, Leonard not providing any insight, claiming he didn't know. They weren't sure they believed him but what could they do?

When they had finished the delicious lunch Pavel and Hikaru had made them, Jim excused himself back to his office, taking Hikaru with him to help with the galleys.

"Are you going to call him?" Hikaru asked after an hour of busy silence.

"Who?" Jim said, staring down at the pages.

"The President of the United States. Who do you think I mean?" Hikaru said, shaking his head.

"Nope."

"Dude," Hikaru said, endowing it with two extra syllables as only he could do. "You got to know he's as miserable as you are."

"I am not miserable," Jim said firmly.

"Sure. I know you love my chicken pot pie. So why is it you ate two bites and gave the rest of Pasha?"

"Because we don't have a dog?" Jim joked.

"You are… never mind. Be cranky and starve to death. You think Len's not going to notice?"

"There's nothing to notice. I'm fine. If he wants to talk to me, he knows my numbers. All of them. And he has all of my email addresses."

"Len's right. You are the most stubborn person on the face of the Earth," Hikaru said.

"I'm not sure you've had time to talk to every single Earthling," Jim retorted, making Hikaru laugh. "Speaking of email – did you write back to the Avery and Andre fans?"

"Yeah. There were only 92 so it didn't take quite as long as usual."

"And I was gracious and appreciative to each and every one, right?" Jim asked.

"Except creepy ShamFam. What is up with her? Or him?"

"Can't you spam filter those emails?" Jim responded.

"She changes her email address. This time they came from Gmail. Creepy stalking gmails," Hikaru said with a shudder.

"Does she still want to have my babies?" Jim asked.

"She wants you to have hers from what I could make out. I frankly didn't spend any more time on her email than I had to in order to realize it was her."

"Just as well," Jim agreed. "Did you read any more fanfiction?"

"Yeah. Mostly junk. PJPromises posted a new story. I bookmarked it if you want to read it."

"Up to her usual standards?" Jim asked.

"Yeah. Oh and guess what?" Hikaru said in excitement.

"I can hardly imagine."

"There's a new section of RPF," Hikaru said, laughing.

"What? RPF?"

"Real person fiction, dude. Keep up," Hikaru said.

"Real person fiction? They aren't real," Jim said with a tiny frown.

"No. But you are," Hikaru laughed.

"Oh no. No. No. No. Please tell me they haven't…."

"Oh yes they have. You are very creative in bed. And very potent," Hikaru said.

"Potent? I'm not a race horse," Jim said, frowning.

"Tell them. Not me."

"Did you tell Chris about this?" Jim asked in some dismay.

"He told me," Hikaru said, laughing. "He thought it was too funny."

"Funny?" Jim said. "They are making up stuff about my supposed love life and my lawyer thinks it's funny?"

"Yep. Said it's your own fault for being so… well… you. If you looked more like, you know, Albert Springer, it wouldn't have happened."

"Then that's Mom's fault. Oh my God," Jim said. "Do I even want to know where to find there stories?"

"They are a subsection of the Big Adventures site. I recommend you don't go to that section," Hikaru said with not nearly enough sympathy. "I'm betting there are even more after Oprah."

"Oh good," Jim said in dismay. "I'm going to stop writing and work for Chris full time."

"Not so long back, you were talking about leaving the Consortium," Hikaru reminded him.

"So who are these in-bed adventures with? Do I even want to know?"

"Uhmm… me. Those are the only ones I read."

"You?" Jim laughed. "How do they even know you exist?"

"We're photographed together all the time. Sad for me. And I'm not, repeat not, going to Chicago with you."

"Then who is going to carry my luggage?" Jim asked with a pout which Hikaru did not find the least bit amusing. Well, maybe a tiny bit amusing but he sure wasn't going to tell Jim.

"You are. Like you always do. As though you'll take more than your usual tote. Besides, I'll be safely in Tasmania," Hikaru said, smiling over at Pavel when he showed up in the door. "Hey."

"Am I interrupting?" Pavel asked, smiling at Hikaru before looking over at Jim who was studying them both.

"Not at all," Hikaru said. "What are you up to?"

"Leonard and Vinona vant to take a svim. I said to them I vould ask you."

"Jim?" Sulu asked.

"Not right now. You two run along," he said with a smile.

"I could use a break," Sulu agreed, standing up to stretch. "Do you want more Pepsi before we go?"

"No thanks. I'm fine," Jim assured them, returning his focus to the galleys. He barely noticed when the guys left him alone in his office.

"Dinner's ready," Chris's voice said only minutes later.

"What?" Jim said, looking up at him, his neck stiff. Oh. Maybe it hadn't been minutes judging from the cramps in his back. "What time is it?"

"Nearly 6. I've been here for over an hour. How long have you been holed up in here?"

"I have no idea," Jim admitted, standing to stretch the kinks out. "Whenever Hikaru went swimming. Or before that. Right after lunch."

"Do you ever know what time it is?" Chris asked, following him into his bedroom so that Jim could continue on into his bathroom.

"Usually," Jim said through the bathroom door. "I'm two-thirds the way through the galleys and didn't think to stop."

"Well. You're nothing if not dedicated," Chris had to admit as Jim emerged from the bathroom. "Winona made stuffed peppers. Are you going to eat them?"

"You've been talking to the boys, haven't you?" Jim asked in suspicion as he left his bedroom with Chris.

"Maybe. And maybe Len's not the only one who has noticed that you can take off your jeans without unbuttoning them," Chris said.

"Hello beautiful," Jim said to Nyota when he found her in the living room, talking to Winona.

"Hello yourself," she responded with a wink.

"Don't think this conversation is over," Chris warned, going with them into the dining room.

"What conversation?" Jim asked, sitting at the table and accepting the dish with the peppers.

"The conversation about why you aren't eating. And why I'm going to take medical action if you don't start," Bones said, watching Jim.

"I'm eating," Jim protested.

"One forkful of Hikaru's delicious chicken pot pie does not qualify," Winona said as she ate her dinner.

"Can we please talk about something more interesting?" Jim requested, looking at all the concerned faces studying him.

"For now. After dinner we're discussing it again," Leonard warned, watching Jim shove the food around his plate. "Please eat it and not play with it."

Jim frowned at him, taking a tiny bit and chewing it thoroughly. He breathed a tiny sigh of relief when the conversation turned to more general topics and he could observe rather than being observed.

"He didn't know what RPF meant," Hikaru told them, making them laugh at Jim.

"What does it mean, dear?" Winona asked as she and Chris cleared the table. Hikaru explained, Winona laughing. "Oh my. I'm sorry, dear. Have you read them?"

Jim shuddered. "I have no intention of it."

"That's for the best," Chris agreed. "They are quite…interesting."

"Interesting in a not-so-great way," Hikaru said, shaking his head.

"And they write that you and Jim… you know?" Pavel asked.

"Yep. Some of the writers could submit their entries to the Kama Sutra. A few of them need to read it so they know what's anatomically possible," Hikaru laughed.

"You vill be showing me?" Pavel asked Hikaru quietly, pretending the others didn't hear him.

"I will," Hikaru agreed.

"Come on, Jim," Leonard ordered, standing over him with his you-know-better-than-to-ignore-me face in full force.

"Come where?" Jim asked with wide innocent eyes.

"Your bedroom. Where I am giving you an IV with vitamins and minerals. In an effort to make sure you don't starve to death."

"I'm not starving. I'm fine," Jim complained.

"Stand up," Chris said, disguising the request as a order.

Jim did it reluctantly, trying to hold onto the waist of his jeans as Chris tugged them down to his knees.

"Unless you are going for urban-chic, your jeans are now at least one size too big. If not two," Chris informed him.

"For the love of God, will you stop obsessing over my weight?" Jim said in exasperation, pulling his jeans back up.

"Go with Leonard, dear," Winona said, a warm hand on his arm. "You barely eat. And it isn't good for you."

"If you don't come with me now, you aren't going to the Ice Floes concert tomorrow," Leonard warned.

"I am not five," Jim protested.

"Then stop acting like it and come with me," Leonard said, his fists on his hips, daring him to continue to refuse.

"You know it's for the best," Nyota added, standing to trace Jim's cheeks. "Where is that apple-faced little boy I know and love?"

"Know and loath?" Jim asked.

Nyota shook her head, hooking her arm through one of Jim's and guiding him to his bedroom. "He's all yours," she said to Leonard, slipping out and closing the door behind her.

"I used to hate you," Jim said, staring at Bones. "That's nothing compared to how I feel right now."

"Shut up and take off your sweater. And your jeans. You'll have to go to sleep when it's done," Bones said, going into Jim's bathroom.

"This is completely unnecessary. And you are abusing your authority as my doctor."

"I most certainly am not. Am I going to have to go get Chris? Because I will."

"Stop threatening me. Stop treating me like I'm a child. Stop badgering me."

"Stop having a tantrum," Bones countered calmly. "Jim."

Jim frowned at that tone. Bones generally reserved it for the severely injured or the nearly-dead. He was pretty sure he didn't qualify as either of those but the fact that Bones was breaking out his most soothing doctor voice was not a good sign. Add to that the fact that he sounded distinctly more Southern when he said it meant he was not going to back down. And he really was worried. Not just being stubborn or trying to be the boss of Jim.

Sighing in exasperation, Jim pulled off his sweater and jeans, leaving them on the floor to annoy Bones. He slowly got into his bed, staring up at Bones with anger in his blue eyes.

"I know you're mad at me and it doesn't matter," Bones said, sitting beside him and tying a tourniquet around his left arm. "Make a fist."

"I will if I can hit you with it," Jim said.

Bones shook his head, swabbing the inside of Jim's arm and easing the IV needle into the prominent vein. "All right, darlin'. That's it," he said when Jim gasped at the puncture. "Do you want me to turn on Star Wars for you?"

"I want you to stop being my doctor. I want…." Jim stopped, closing his eyes and his mouth.

"I am sorry," Bones said, running warm fingers through Jim's blonde hair, soothing some of Jim's anger. "Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?"

Jim opened his eyes to look up at his best friend, misery reflected there that was almost never apparent.

"You've had your heart broken before. Why is this time harder?" Bones asked gently.

"I thought this was it," Jim confessed quietly. "I thought… well. You know how when you and I met, we knew we were already friends? Somehow. Somewhere. We'd always been friends and our paths finally crossed so we figured it out."

"Of course," Bones agreed. "That was Spock too?"

"Yeah. He's disappointed in me. That I'm not the person he wants me to be. He expected me to be."

"He didn't say that," Bones said. "He was surprised. He'd just found out his father is the tersaya. Fast on the heels of that, he found out someone he'd already fallen in love with was a member of the Consortium. And he had fallen in love. Despite the fact that he's a Vulcan – immune to the trivial Human emotions we struggle with. He was violating everything he'd ever been told it meant to be Vulcan."

"If he was in love, he should have accepted me. I won't change for him. I won't change for anyone."

"I know that."

"And he didn't call. I thought he'd at least call." Jim put his right arm over his eyes, shaking his head. "God. I sound like a first grader. I should send him a note – do you like me? Check yes or no."

"Why didn't you call him? He's got to be feeling the same way."

"Feeling the same. That's rich."

"Jim," Bones said. "Why didn't you call?"

"And say what? 'Hey. This is the paid assassin calling. The one who thought you and I had a future.'"

"I don't think I'd recommend that approach," Bones said, checking the IV in Jim's arm. "This is going to take about 45 minutes. Star Wars?"

"Yes," Jim said. "I want to stay mad at you. Make this your fault."

"I know. Do you want me to stay with you?" Bones asked as he opened the armoire that hid Jim's TV, one he rarely watched.

"No. I'll be fine. I'll have Luke and Obi-Wan for company."

"If you're sure. I'll come back in half an hour," Bones said, turning down the bedside lamp.

"Okay," Jim agreed, barely focusing on the familiar movie. As comforting as it was, it didn't negate the fact that he was fairly miserable. Well. Utterly miserable. And really really angry at himself. And Bones. And Chris. And the world at large.

~o0o~

"What are you doing?" Chris asked from the doorway of Jim's office, his silver hair standing up all over his head.

Jim looked up from the surface of his desk, smiling at the sight. "Working on the galleys."

"It's 2 in the morning. Are you still on Tuscany time?" Chris asked, wandering further in.

"No. I had to pee. And I couldn't go back to sleep. So here I am," Jim said.

Chris shook his head, sitting in one of the chairs facing Jim's desk.

"What?" Jim asked.

"You. You are incorrigible."

"Isn't that a breed of dog?" Jim laughed.

"Go to bed. Or come in the kitchen with me for some leftovers."

"Why are you up?" Jim asked, studying Pike over the rim of his glasses.

"I'm hungry," Chris admitted. "I was dreaming about pound cake."

"Pound cake?"

"My mother used to make the best pound cake in the world. With lemon glaze. It was rich and sinful and, as Hikaru might say, to die for."

"I don't think he's ever said that," Jim laughed. "I do think he went to the grocery store before we got home. I bet we could make a pound cake."

"Let's go see," Chris said, standing up and going into the kitchen, Jim close behind. He went into the pantry as Jim Googled pound cake recipes on his laptop. "Any luck?"

"So far I've found 67 recipes. What was in your mom's?"

"I don't know," Chris said, sitting at the table next to Jim. "Here. This one."

"All right," Jim agreed. "We have everything we need. The butter may be frozen but we have a microwave."

"Yes we do," Chris agreed, getting the butter out of the freezer.

"Are you awake enough to do this?" Jim asked, watching him move around the kitchen.

"I'm fine." Chris took charge of mixing the ingredients, Jim providing the instructions, including finding the tube pan above the refrigerator. About the time they were ready to put the cake in the oven, Bones wandered into the kitchen.

"What in the name of all that's holy are the two of you doing?" Leonard demanded, looking at the debris scattered all of the kitchen.

"I wanted pound cake," Chris said with a shrug as he began to clean up.

"It's 3:30 in the morning. This couldn't have waited?" Leonard asked sternly.

"When you have a craving, you have to respect it," Chris laughed.

"You don't have to respect it in the middle of the night," Leonard countered, looking down at Jim. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. I had to potty and then couldn't go back to sleep. I was working on the galleys until the Mad Chef decided he needed a homemade pound cake."

"You two should not be allowed together without adult supervision," Leonard said.

"I'm an adult," Chris protested.

"Sure," Leonard responded. "How long does it have to bake?"

"It will be done at 5," Chris said.

"Swell. I'm going back to bed. I'd suggest you do the same but I know you'll simply ignore me."

"I'm going to sleep on the couch," Jim said, looking over at Chris. "Go back to bed. I'll check the cake."

"Don't let it burn," Chris warned, leaving with Leonard to disappear into their bedrooms. Where they weren't going to be alone.

Was that it? Was that one of the reasons Jim was so angry? His bed was empty. Everyone else was sharing theirs. In his house. Well, their house. But still. The house was full of people in love, finding comfort from the warm bodies next to their own. Jim rarely was troubled with envy but right now that's all he could feel. He was hosting half the world and they all had someone in their bed. He'd gone to bed with an IV and an old movie for company. Yeah. It sucked to be him.