Disclaimer: See Prologue

1996

Still seething and reeling from the death of his godfather, Harry's hands shook as he watched Lupin light a cigarette - his first in six years - and stare out of the Headmaster's window. His eyes traveled down to the Black Lake where the darkness hid the grounds from sight.

Harry almost asked him what he was hoping to see, but he realised that Lupin's eyes were not focused. What Lupin saw was in the recesses of his memory.

Lupin took a long drag and turned back to Harry, sitting in his Headmaster's ruined office. "It appears we share a temper," he said.

Harry said nothing, not even looking up at the only man Dumbledore knew who could reassure him. Remus Lupin had been a last hope for what he privately thought was a lost cause. Though Harry had come through much worse than this, Harry seemed to believe that this was the end of the world.

"Harry, I know it's hard. Really. I know it's hard."

Harry shook his head. He had had plenty to say earlier, but drained of his emotions, he could only stare at the floor and hope he did not antagonise Lupin.

"No, you don't," he managed to murmur. "I have to spend the rest of my time with the Dursleys. They're the only people left now."

Lupin winced at the slight, but made no comment.

Harry obviously heard him as he hurriedly added, "You can't take me in though, can you? Sirius' name is clear now. I could have packed my things and…" He trailed off, taking a deep breath. "I won't now anyway."

"I know you're upset, Harry-"

"No. I'm not."

Lupin laughed bitterly. "No, you're not, are you? Brooding, silence, bursts of violence. You're just like your mother when you're angry."

Harry's breath was laboured. "You don't know it felt, coming back for Christmas. I felt like I was going home. I thought that I had killed Mr. Weasley and he knew what had happened and he just…"

"Held out his arms and gave you unconditional love," Lupin finished for him. "An alien sensation."

They fell into a companionable silence.

"Can I tell you the truth?"

Lupin nodded. "You can tell me anything. I want you to know that. I can't ever replace Sirius and I refuse to try, but if ever you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me."

"I'm not angry with Snape or Dumbledore."

Lupin nodded. "Quite rightly."

"I'm angry with myself."

Lupin was silent for a moment. Harry burst forth into a hurried monologue.

"I know you're angry with me too. You told me that if I was ever faced with an image someone had meant me to see, that I had to be suspicious. Voldemort put that image in my head and I just believed him. You said that I should always look deeper for my answer and I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry, I-."

Lupin cut him off. "I am very angry indeed, Harry, yes. Though not with you; not in the slightest. You did what anyone would have done in your position. You only did what you thought was best and I don't want you to blame yourself or think that we are upset with you."

Harry frowned and tentatively tried to dig a little deeper into the walking mystery that was Remus Lupin. Sirius had known him inside out and Harry had the feeling he was the last person who did.

"So who are you angry with?"

"Several people," said Lupin quietly. "Bellatrix Lestrange for one, Cornelius Fudge for another. I would like to see every last member of the Ministry who made his life hell for the past fourteen years, rot in hell, Harry."

Harry had the distinct feeling that there was someone Lupin wanted to add to his list, but didn't. Was Peter included in the people who had made Sirius' life hell? Or was he the elephant in the room that Lupin felt he oughtn't talk about?

"Are you feeling any better now?"

"Yes," Harry lied. "I think I'm going to go to bed."

Lupin nodded. "Yes, I think that's for the best. It's gone midnight."

Almost as soon as he had announced his intention, Harry wanted to take it back. The dormitory would feel empty without Ron.

"Oh, and Harry?"

Harry turned in the doorway, hoping against hope that Lupin was going to force him to sit back down and make him stay up all night. "Yes?"

"Shut the door a minute."

Harry did as he was told and leant against it.

"I can't take you in for several reasons, all of them outweighing my arguments for going against them, but if maybe you wanted to come and stay with me over the summer, you could. If, you know, if you wanted. I know Little Whinging isn't the highlight of your summer. If you're staying with Ron then obviously I'm not expecting you to-"

"Thanks, Remus."

Harry wasn't sure how he felt about this offer. On the one hand, he would be staying with a man he trusted, who liked him, who had a wicked sense of humour, and on the other, he would be staying with a man who kept him at arm's length. On the whole, he thought, he would rather brood alone in Privet Drive.

"Where are you going now?" Harry almost crossed the room to resume his position beside Lupin, but as Lupin got to his feet, there seemed little point. Both of them were well aware that Harry was stalling.

"I have to go to St. Mungo's. I don't know when Nymphadora might wake up. I suppose I had better try to answer any questions she has." He smiled grimly. "And then I have to be somewhere, I'm afraid. I owe Dumbledore a few favours and I have a job to do."

For a moment, Harry's heart leapt and he deluded himself into thinking Lupin was coming back to teach.

"I'm afraid that we won't see much of each other," said Lupin. "But I'll be thinking about you," he added, surprising Harry completely. "Goodbye, Harry."

A graveyard was hardly an appropriate place to meet, but Lupin knew no other landmarks and he would be damned before he invited this particular gentleman back to his home. He had proved that he could kill whether they met in a public setting or not and Lupin was not entirely sure that he cared who else might be waiting for him.

"It's all right. I'm alone," he said, stamping out yet another cigarette (his third that night) and reaching for his wand.

"Remus?"

Lupin glanced down at the silver hand attempting to wring the other. There were several things he wanted to say to Pettigrew, but decided against even opening his mouth for fear that an Unforgivable Curse would pass his lips before he could control himself.

"Remus, I-"

"You lost all right to call me by my first name," Lupin snapped. "And I don't want to hear any false apologies or commiserations."

"All right, so what do you want, Lupin?"

"Do you or do you not know where I can find Fenrir Greyback?"

Pettigrew gasped. "Have you lost your fucking mind? If you're thinking of killing him-"

"Unlike yourself, Peter, revenge by means of murder has never crossed my mind."

"Oh yeah? Don't get holier than thou with me, Remus. I've seen Travers' scars."

Lupin managed to hold back his threat to give Peter the same treatment and merely bit his lip. "I don't want revenge. I want to join the pack."

Pettigrew stood staring at him in an awed silence. Eventually, he managed to speak and asked, "What happened to daring, nerve and chivalry in the Order of the Phoenix?"

Lupin laughed bitterly. "Daring, nerve and chivalry? In my experience, Peter, people tend to be full of daring, nerve and bullshit. I have been jobless and ostracised for the best part of seventeen years, so I think we can safely say that 'daring, nerve and chivalry' isn't exactly working out for me."

Peter frowned.

"Besides, Voldemort's offering equal rights."

"I thought you said you didn't believe a word of it."

Lupin shrugged. "It's more than the Ministry's offering."

"But-"

"Listen, Peter, I haven't got time for this. Either you can take me to Greyback, or you're wasting my time and if it's the latter, you're facing a seriously pissed off werewolf. I wouldn't test me if I were you. So can you take me to him or not?"

Peter glared at him. "Are you spying?"

Lupin froze in terror, but a natural for the job, he forcibly relaxed himself. "They say it takes a spy to spot one, so why don't you tell me?"

Peter gave him a once-over. "Follow me."