Darkon: Despite the theme of this fan fiction it's mostly in a sense of humor and to make sure Naruto stays far away from Konoha as much as possible while moving around in the world, this will come up more later, also no M-rated content between the snake and Naruto will occur, there will be girls that Naruto will be getting along with that are human, one is Haku and the other is Shion but this isn't a harem and either one of those two will be Naruto's human interest as much as the snake will allow.
Chapter 2: The academic snake, VIPER!
He carefully stirred in bed and tried to remember what he shouldn't do in the morning because Naruto was tired after last night's training session it's been three and a half years and he still failed to remember not to yawn in the morning.
He opened his mouth to yawn and something was inserted into it swiftly the instant he did, he didn't scream or over react like people thought he would if you were to wake up to having a snake kiss you in the morning in fact it didn't bother him one bit that the snake did this with tongue, after it finally let him go he sputtered indignantly at the now older and slightly larger snake.
"VIPER what did I say about your wake up calls in the morning and I still refuse to believe I married you, it was an accident and I don't believe that you still won't take no for an answer and you keep forgetting the one important fact that I'm human" Naruto had named her Viper since it sounded right to him and she was as cruel as any snake could ever be, but Viper just quirked an eye at him and hissed vaguely in question as Naruto wasn't entirely in the right state of mind to be reprimanding her just yet.
Viper was the most patient snake in the world and Naruto whether he knew it or not accepted her into his life after that first day of screaming finding a snake in his bed and her being summarily dropped off back in the forest of death by that human Anko, she didn't like that at all and quickly made it back to Naruto's in time to learn what would become her new favorite food other then Naruto's open mouth of course.
"So what if I know the reason why the people hate me it doesn't mean I'm a demon, why do they treat me like that, can't they see I'm human" It was true Naruto grumbling about being one hundred percent human in his morning induced haze and in answer Viper shot his question back in his face with a hiss that sounded exactly like a female voice to Naruto's ears, it was because he learned to speak snake which wasn't that easy to begin with because snakes have a long list of insults to toss at each other, but otherwise the basic language was easy to understand though.
"So what if I'm a snake, it doesn't make your company any less enjoyable and I hardly think anyone does enjoy being with you for who you are and not what you contain as much I do, oh and you told me to wake you up early for your last day as the prank king didn't you" Groaning Naruto had to give her that one as he found out after the first three weeks she didn't like the role of pet, so Naruto gave her the title roommate which she took to using quite literally because he keeps waking up with a snake in his bed even after he tried to build her a nice spot to sleep in, that was away from him except she just used it to rest and not for the reasons he made it.
He slowly got up to go prepare his day, today was the genin exams today and he would fail spectacularly since he learned that it was impossible for him to pass anyway given he has no skills in genjutsu other then deflecting them as soon as they are cast in his direction.
Admittedly it was because of Viper that he could do even that as she was a wonder at genjutsu and even bothered to join Naruto in his trap and stealth abilities in the way of pranks and she frequently used genjutsu on the villagers for the last three years after they tried to beat him into the ground on his birthday after the first time Viper witnessed it and made a solemn vow that she'd figure out some way to protect Naruto from that torment ever again.
Thus Viper became one powerful snake, she sat in on lessons at the academy for the last three and a half years and might have been caught up on a few human terms but Naruto helped her learn about those as he was curious himself, after that though Viper discovered quite a few bits of knowledge that didn't seem very obvious from the start.
Theoretically the Inuzuka dogs should be capable of doing jutsu on their own instead of having to bum chakra off their humans in the clan, it was also strange that there were humans here that might accept the kind of situation Naruto is in with her except they didn't know he was being followed by a snake or that the snake was pursuing a one sided relationship, but she wasn't as lazy as the dog she actually cared if she could fight things bigger then her.
If all things had chakra then why not have the dog Akumaru train his chakra until he could do jutsu on his own incase Kiba was ever incapacitated, that also brought up the fact that humans were stronger then animals just because they were bigger and that is why Viper invented a taijutsu or combat style that took advantage of the human body completely as she could beat Naruto in a spar but that wasn't saying much as he wasn't being taught how to fight by anyone other than her, but at least he could fight on somewhat more decent grounds than if he were to follow his instructors.
It was aggravating but today was a whole new day, though she knew Naruto would never succeed at becoming a ninja of the leaf if he had to do genjutsu as it requires subtly of injecting someone with chakra or filling the very air with an illusion and her chakra was a little different from a humans making her genjutsu all the more harder to find out and dispel not to mention she was of a non summon type clan of dangerous snakes that can poison chakra with a bite; exception that she doesn't have the capability so she makes up for it in other methods, she was considered an assassination attempt the first time she was caught in bed with Naruto and she never got caught after that, but that still confused her as she didn't know why someone would want to assassinate her mate… well except because of the Kyuubi but that was a different story.
It was known that Naruto couldn't do any genjutsu, he couldn't even perform a shape shift until he accidentally performed a modified version that was a ninjutsu shape shift instead of genjutsu, it was the reason why he couldn't do a simple clone genjutsu and Viper had even made it clear that he couldn't, but he excelled at ninjutsu to the point that she labeled him the 'ninjutsu howitzer' which was quite true of his nature as he learned any ninjutsu Viper was able to get for him.
Speaking of which Viper took her education at the human facility seriously whereas Naruto never did except for the practical portions, so she had to make up for his lack of academics by being the smart one and helping him stay in the middle of the pack, despite the fact that she hardly had any capability for ninjutsu she could hold the modified shape shift for about an hour before it tired her out.
Ninjutsu was just not for Viper as it was draining to even do a substitution and she primarily had to do it without hand signs which was a feat in and of itself when she finally learned how to do a substitution especially without hissing the name of the jutsu out loud in her language which took forever for Naruto to learn, that is the language as well as not yelling his jutsu out loud which Viper made note that it was better in the act of actually surprising someone being a ninja and all.
It was Vipers favorite part of the day which was morning, she had woken Naruto up early like he asked her too, she got him moving by tickling his belly where that seal that held the fox was and he yawned as expected giving her the opening to instigate another success of operation: lip lock, Naruto didn't deny her any fun in that department but he wouldn't admit to liking it either and that unsettled her.
But what she really was after in the morning other than a kiss from the human that held her heart's desire was what the human ate in vast quantity called Ramen, the stuff was addictive to Vipers palette and it wasn't unhealthy for her either as all she mostly needed to live was protein which meant she needed to swallow meat every now and then, but ramen was something special.
A bit of ramen noodles didn't hurt her eating habits at all it was just getting Naruto to eat anything else but the stuff when he argued that she could survive off this stuff so why couldn't he, which led to the counter argument that she could survive off insects and rats, even if ramen was a delicacy to her.
Naruto begrudgingly liked her for the fact she was as ramen addicted as he was, though she still argued he needed to eat healthier food, which is why he took up gardening and cooking as a pastime; he got seeds from Viper to start a hidden garden behind the hokage monument and eventually found a few thrown away cookbooks that would fit his needs.
Viper's pastimes was stealing information, reading up on anatomy (Doesn't sound innocent does it?) and picking up jutsu scrolls; which was another form of stealing information, for Naruto to learn from.
She also had the other hobby of reading up on psychology and advanced level genjutsu books which she thought half of which was complete rubbish, she had under three in a half years learned a lot about humans, the biggest fact was that Naruto was the only trustworthy one in this entire village of idiots, there was another hobby of helping Naruto with tending his secret garden but that was just what she does for lunch as she ate any invasive pests that bothered their plants.
With that Naruto went to take a shower while viper got out the two packs of ramen and waited, being a master of genjutsu of a higher level than the fabled mistress Kurenai had really stroked the snakes ego when she managed to get a genjutsu on the woman without her noticing it until after woman obviously discovered it after she didn't feel any pain from injuring herself and that was yesterdays mission Viper set for herself as the woman was probably still searching for the genius that did that and she would never find the person because she obviously believed it would be a human she was looking for.
She had heard that Kurenai was the highest order of genjutsu users in Konoha and if she fell to Viper that meant she was the best genjutsu user in konoha, mostly because Kurenai didn't think outside the box like Viper would, Kurenai's genjutsu only attacked sight, sound or sense of touch which are good and all but there was more to genjutsu then that.
Like how even if a bloodline carrier that had eyesight based ability could still be put under a genjutsu even if it wouldn't affect their eyes, that says nothing about all the other parts of their bodies that could be affected which is why when the hyuuga clan was wondering where all that evil cackling was coming from as it took them a good seven hours to figure out each one of them was under a genjutsu that they thought they were immune to because of their eyes, hah they embarrassed themselves badly and they tried to blame Naruto but it wouldn't stick as he couldn't have done it, she even had a genjutsu she only used on the nastiest people who would hate her Naruto too much.
The genjutsu in question was called the Viper Vomit Technique (when spoken it sounds like hyper vomit) which as the genjutsu suggested it induced vomiting through anyone's sense of smell and taste, there was an unfortunate downside to the genjutsu that Viper really disliked but it involved ingesting and smelling the most disgusting things you could imagine, snakes had strong stomachs for stuff like that so when she ingested rotten eggs blended with all manner of things that were the most disgusting foul flavors that ever entered her mouth that a human couldn't possibly stomach as she could recreate every ounce of horrible stimulus she incurred on herself some of which even she had to puke up and she ate the puke to add an even more vile taste to her genjutsu that instantly weakened any persons stomach immediately, she needed a lot of what humans called mouth wash afterwards but the effects were worth the price.
There was also another genjutsu and she found that it was Naruto's favorite that was the opposite of her vomit inducing genjutsu called Happy Mouth Technique it made the target taste fresh ramen and smell a hot bowl of the stuff in all its glories as it came in several flavors, but the only reason why Viper made it was for Naruto who when he got bored in class became susceptible her genjutsu which caused him to have a attention span as Ramen excited him as much as it did her, she also teased the Akimichi named Choji with it.
Naruto was dressed in his day glow orange jumpsuit when he walked into the kitchen to see Viper lazily thinking about something he couldn't even begin to know about, but he needed her for the most massive village wide prank ever devised but it would require her services to keep everyone occupied with other problems while he painted the hokage monument and set up the entire anbu headquarters with paint bomb traps and set fire to the hokage's private collection of perverted novels in the sarutobi family home because Viper suggested it in return for doing her part.
Everyone will be distracted by the Akimichi clan when Viper drops off a bunch of weight loss and diet plan pamphlets to cause a stampede of big boned people that says it's from the council of Konoha as suggestions for their clan, all this as well as a few other things was in store for Konoha this day, the property damage alone was going to be enough to be noticeably crippling on the villages already crippled budget from the kyuubi rampage mostly thirteen years ago.
After he finished making the ramen and cutting up a carrot into his own bowl he set down a bowl in front of Viper and sat down himself and with a word they got their chopsticks and ate, it was a little awkward at first but viper managed to learn how to use chopsticks with the tail end of her body just to properly eat ramen so she didn't have to rely on Naruto feeding her.
After they finished Naruto asked the big question he was wondering about because even if he is stealthy he wasn't good enough to steal the big secrets because he wasn't as hard to catch as Viper was in any act, that and Anbu could sometimes follow his chakra which was larger than most peoples whereas Viper could go anywhere like a phantom.
"So… what would the teams be if I did pass?" Viper looked dully at Naruto telling him he seriously didn't want to know or wouldn't want to be on the team he'd end up on from the apparent dissatisfaction etched on her face from the expected team roster if he did pass.
"Okay… so do you want to take any questions I don't answer on my test?" Nobody knew the only reason why Naruto wasn't suicidal or why he was still in Konoha was because of Viper being his only friend that happened to think she was married to him, then again she had convinced him to stay long enough to get a full ninja's education before leaving and whether he admitted it or not Naruto knew Viper had a lot of pull with him in what they did together but she wasn't stifling his creative nature at all.
Viper simply nodded before slurping some noodles, she was already planning an exit strategy and she knew when Naruto was not wanted and even expressed the idea to Naruto who if he didn't pass wouldn't be on the missing ninja list for killing or capturing, which is a far better fate than being stuck with that asshole who wore the dog anbu mask, who Viper could honestly think had a grudge against Naruto because of the Kyuubi, so Naruto getting any training from this Kakashi Hatake was not likely because he'd miss at least three hours of training a day when they were going to train and that was counterproductive in the long run as well as the fact of who Naruto's teammates were going to be.
Uchiha Sasuke was one of those people, it was downright disturbing that the council would provide a team of the likeliest people to get Sasuke to be their friend and if he were to kill one of them he'd get an upgrade to his eyesight bloodline it's like they were literally wanting to kill Naruto off and if they could power up the Uchiha in the process…
"Well screw that, that's why I'm having Naruto follow his backup plan since that day he kissed me to strike out on his own as to become a ninja of his own making and not at the control of a three ring circus that is Konoha" Viper thought adamantly, the council was in control of too much stuff for her liking but Naruto was a civilian so they couldn't stop him from leaving the village if they wanted too, even if he does has some resemblance of shinobi training, they can't mark him in the bingo books unless he managed to somehow kill one of their shinobi. (Trio: Hint in the making dude.)
Then there was Sakura Haruno, the ugliest and loudest girl in the world, definitely ugliest in personality and it was a joke if she were to pass as a ninja on book smarts alone because that was dumb not to mention they were planning to put her on a team with Sasuke; maybe for breeding purposes which was also dumb who in the hell wanted pink haired Uchiha, and she would be even easier to kill then Naruto as she never trains, she never does more then read books and spouts the knowledge she learns from it but she really never takes the time to understand or use that knowledge and finally she constantly berates Naruto without just cause and it was likely started because her mother dislikes him for again the kyuubi, she was permanently on Vipers shit list as well as that of the Ninjutsu Cat Corps. (Yay squee used my idea)
The NCC was started for the very purpose of targeting people on Vipers shit list; that is after she taught them how to use ninjutsu and Tora was a particularly good leader when Viper named him as head of the clan as she was a snake and wouldn't be around to lead, like Kakashi and that man now feared for his life every time he saw a black cat smile his way which actually gave him a reason to be late and no one would believe him about fireball breathing cats of doom and Sakura because of Vipers recommendation and the fact that she blew out multiple cats ears with her outrageously loud voice, they have yet to start operations on her because they had too much fun targeting Kakashi, but they would get to it eventually now back to what Viper thought of Sakura Haruno.
Viper in short thought Sakura was the most retarded mindless banshee crossed with a harpy fan girl to ever exist in the academy class that Naruto was in or to ever exist period, Viper would say that Ino was more likely to be worthy of Naruto's time because she actually trains her ninjutsu even if it is pathetic and forced on her by her father because she is of a ninja clan.
As she was thinking this she slithered into the academy having subconsciously done everything she needed to and waited for Naruto to arrive, there was already pandemonium going on all around the village and that's when Naruto dropped down next to her none the worse for wear, nobody bothered to understand or notice the fact that Naruto was going to be the best stealth and trap making expert to go down in Konoha history and to think he never once read a book on those subjects.
Viper never minded the day glow orange because if he could hide efficiently while wearing an eye sore color then he could be invisible while wearing black in broad daylight standing in the middle of an empty street of a different color then black such as to say white, not to mention he's managed to trump village security about…
Viper took a moment to count and then nodded when she got the final number of at least seven thousand two hundred and forty one breaks in village security including exposing Danzo's ROOT with a simple prank because they didn't know that those Anbu; the black operations of the village, were illegally trained people that once tried to kill Naruto and make it look like an accident, apparently the emotionless shells that dared call themselves Anbu level capable ninja were ten times more susceptible to genjutsu then a person with emotions and feelings which actually helped in protecting against genjutsu's, that and it stood to reason that they were more susceptible given Danzo trained his ROOT organization ninjas through ripping up their emotions with… wait for it… genjutsu… he sealed his own death that way and some of the villages power shifted to the hokage but Viper still didn't like the old man's ignorance of pain, suffering and loneliness of her mate.
Viper arguments about staying here was simple… this village couldn't guard jack shit if it couldn't protect Naruto from civilian mobs and their own thrice damned ninja, not to mention the council was always out for his blood this place just wasn't tolerant of those who were different and she could only wonder what would happen if they found out he was in a relationship with her because so far nobody had noticed her stealing information from just about every corner of this village, how else would she get that tornado launching ninjutsu for Naruto and he never used it where anyone could spy on him when he trained in his hidden vegetable garden which he was going to dig up before they left, this village could hardly fend off a snake and a human that hardly had anyone to help him so it's any wonder why she wanted to leave before it's too late.
Case and point of those who were different and weren't well liked were the Aburame and their bugs and the Inuzuka because of their half demon heritage; not that people knew about it, which means they in fact doing unmentionable things with their dogs that used to be proud wolf type creatures that sadly weakened so badly over time that they became a lot like Akumaru and no one questioned it because they were very reclusive clans only known for their combat skills not whatever else it is they do.
"Alright class… CLASS" The only teacher that took Naruto somewhat seriously was Iruka who was having problems controlling his class as they were all talking about the village being in so much chaos, Sakura was blithely pointing out that it couldn't have been Naruto as he couldn't have set all that up while wearing bright orange and she was half right, because Naruto didn't set all that up on his own but he was in fact wearing neon day glow; bright as heck, orange and he still got away with it as a testament to his skills.
Nobody could prove he set off the Akamichi stampede, the exploding notes in that store that tried raising prices on him that one time he tried to honestly buy supplies instead of refurbishing used crap he found from stuff ninja carelessly left behind and the Yamanaka flower shop suddenly being invaded by the insects that the Aburame raised and that was Vipers crowning achievement next to causing all the toilets in the shopping district to flood with some help from the NCC, but that helped put out the shop that caught on fire as it was in the ninja shopping sector next door.
The class quieted down and waited for Iruka to give them the genin exam the written portion, of which Viper wanted to do to make it seem like Naruto was smarter then he appeared by making sure he aced this test thus causing confusion to the two teachers who she learned from in the shadows despite one obviously having it in for Naruto.
Iruka couldn't pin the entire mess of the prank on Naruto because he knew Naruto didn't have any friends and couldn't be in more than one place at a time so he was still wracking his brain trying to figure out how Naruto pulled it off, Viper after being taken back to the forest of death that one time by Anko was very careful about not being seen and had taken it as being one of the biggest parts of being a ninja.
The test was passed out and Viper poked her head out of Naruto's jumpsuit after slithering into the legging and up to his chest to see that this wasn't a genin level test Naruto was handed and she smirked, if people thought Sakura was smart they were about to be proven wrong as she had silently hissed in Naruto's ear a plan that was both brilliant and evil at the same time.
Naruto smiled and performed a cloudless replacement before Sakura put her name down on her test, now he had to hope that Viper could write Sakura's name as she would on one of her previous test papers in other words she was going to need to forge Sakura's name to pull this off as Naruto's hand writing was surprisingly worse than a handless snakes.
Near the beginning of the test Viper managed to sneak a peek at how Sakura wrote her name and studied it carefully she moved back into Naruto's jumpsuit and tapped her tongue to his chin as he leaned over his paper signaling that Sakura was almost done answering their questions for them, then checked to see Naruto's answers for the questions of the genin test and nodded that most of them were good moving her tail into his sleeve to write down a grade for Naruto using his arm to look like he was writing down something when it was her tail on the inside of his hand manipulating the pencil.
Viper then started to carefully erased all of his answers and then wrote down Sakura's name in a near complete duplicate of how she would write it, before hinting to Naruto to perform another replacement in the next few minutes with the paper face down so that when Sakura's paper is graded… heh revenge was best served without knowing how it happened in the first place, she had the nerve to call Naruto an idiot when she's the pot calling a kettle black.
Viper hissed silently enough to do a replacement now and Naruto put his hands under the table and did the replacement, no one could convict him of cheating when his test wasn't the same as Sakura's without implicating someone was trying to fail him; which was his objective but he wanted to go out with a bang in moderately high scores, he watched as Viper looked over the answers and tweaked them to look like Naruto wrote them all, before she smiled to herself and made sure Naruto read these answers and thought about how these answers came about from the question as he never knew when he might need this information.
After Iruka took up the tests to personally grade them after he got all the results from each test he moved them out to the fields to test their throwing skills they had to throw twenty five kunai and twenty five shuriken which would be scored upon with the test and finally the technique portion.
Sakura did worse then everyone but still managed to hit a target enough time to count as decent, Naruto threw his shuriken with far better accuracy and his kunai flew out of his hands in a funny manner but still struck their targets point first, probably because Viper was in Naruto's sleeve wanting to practice her kunai tossing on at least twelve of them and they mostly hit vital spots and Naruto threw the rest, they got a good score better than most girls(fan girls suck at this stuff) in the class and three other boys from their respective clans. (In order of failure from the three mentioned clan guys, Shikamaru, Choji and finally the worst Kiba who is never seen using kunai after this point probably due to nearly hitting his instructors or some such nonsense)
Finally was the jutsu portion where Viper hid under the two ninja that were issuing the test, the one that wasn't Iruka was named Mizuki, he wasn't a good person as far as Viper could tell and she sometimes wish she had fangs so she could bite him righteously for always putting Naruto up against Sasuke Uchiha as there was no growth that way and Sasuke suffered just as much as Naruto did because of it without rotating fighters to make them challenge themselves on new tactics of other opponents.
The reason why she was underneath the two ninja was to screw Sakura over again, there was no way that long pink haired loud mouthed girl was going to become a ninja and Viper figured she was doing her a favor and dropping Sakura's uppity attitude into the pits was just a plus side as far as Viper was concerned when the said pink haired -insert best derogative name here- was more likely to die then Naruto in a fight.
Sakura walked in, cue vicious snake smirk, that poor unsuspecting idiot that didn't actually want to be a ninja for the reason she should want to be a ninja.
Sakura performed the substitution correctly, but when she did her henge Viper cast a genjutsu at the same moment Sakura used her chakra and all that happened was that Sakura seemed to have henged into herself… just without any clothes on other than her underpants… the girl flushed bright red with embarrassment but the instructors didn't get nosebleeds (this is Sakura people, she's flat and couldn't excite an old guy if she tried, in fact we're sure that Jiraiya would become gay if she was the only girl left in the world and they were closer together in age) and she quickly cancelled her jutsu to only do it right after the second try where she henged into herself except with a hot pink Mohawk that had the words 'kill me' written in green on both sides of her genjutsu made hair trauma.
Viper was having fun as she snickered victoriously and now the coup de grace when Sakura went to do her clone jutsu…
After a few more people Naruto came in, did his two primary jutsu then did his clone jutsu only for them to turn out sickly and half dead, but he never actually put chakra into the jutsu and let Viper do the genjutsu for him as she needed to build her already good stores further, then Mizuki suspiciously said they should pass him on this portion and Iruka denied it, Naruto just walked out of without a word but there was a smile on his face after he closed the door and he was followed by a smiling snake.
"So what do you think, failed close enough to barely fail?" Naruto said with a somewhat cheery smile, Viper shook her head no causing Naruto to wonder what was wrong as a frown crossed his face.
"Not with that test you aren't, it wasn't a genin level paper test and Iruka could score you higher just for that, but Sakura has been failed spectacularly but once it is known you cheated you'll still fail and we can be out of here by the end of the next day, if they try to pass you bring up your cheating immediately… then again they might pass you for the ninja tactics if that happens… we will need to make a break for it before they can implement your ninja registration or else your made of bones." This was followed by Viper hissing despondently as she knew that if they get a chance to register Naruto all the council has to do is push Naruto out of Konoha long enough to label him a missing ninja, then he's good as dead.
"The correct term for it Viper is 'I'm boned' and I agree, there's nothing tying me to this village except the fact that my father and mother died here, I don't blame dad or the fox, I blame the people and that damned toad for getting the fox drunk while she was having her period" Naruto knew things about women that made him blush and he wouldn't have otherwise know if it wasn't for the fact that the demon fox taught him the physical side of how to treat a woman in a curteous manner, whereas Viper mentally prepped him and even hinted at wanting some kind of attention just not in a sexual manner which Naruto promptly ignored much to her chagrin and then there was the fact that Viper studies anatomy in plain sight of Naruto which has given him a accurate ability to understand the female gender, that had actually led to the Mod Shape Shift ninjutsu Naruto made.
(It is a quirk of any Naruto and Kyuubi story that nobody draws attention to the fact that Kyuubi is in fact a fox thus there are already plenty of bestiality stories, so saying this story was wrong is like saying a kyuubi transforms into human story is wrong and some of them are T rated like this, but this story isn't going to go far enough to hit M-rating but there will be teasing and maybe some snake cuddling and petting, the bigger quirk in these stories is Naruto doesn't understand women and I nipped that one in the bud right here, because Naruto has two women in his life that set him straight, one is his age and the other is far beyond it and they are the only ones in konoha that would ever bother to set him right or help him in this regard and Hinata was background noise that didn't do anything to help Naruto during the beatings for the first ten years of his life but watch him so why should he care about her as he doesn't know the first thing of her)
Naruto left to go train behind the hokage monument after sitting on the swing for a few moments and then dig up all his vegetables, because he wouldn't ever come back here if he could help it, because tomorrow after he gets his test score, he was getting out of here, but before he could get too far he was stopped by Mizuki and told of a fairy tale of extra portion of the test, Viper wasn't amused and neither was Naruto who kept a poker face and the cheered excitedly about learning a jutsu on the scroll Mizuki told him about.
By the way… End Chapter.
Ninjutsu listing because I've seen other people do it, if we name a taijutsu style it gets listed as well-
Shape Shift- genjutsu- target area: self- effect: hides ones true appearance, can be used to hide wounds so that people don't target them and for infiltration in civilian level areas… useless against other ninja unless they are really bad at detection or the ninja are of low level in skills. (Rank has nothing to do with it as this technique might fool a chunin level ninja; key word is 'might' so again rank has nothing to do with it as it is skill of the opponent and user that determines success)
Mod (modified) Shape Shift- ninjutsu- target area: self- effect: changes ones true appearance, can't be used to hide wounds, used for infiltration from civilian to low contact ninja level, used for evasion when being tracked by less skilled ninja and can physically temporarily warp gender however impregnation is impossible if target was male beforehand when changing to opposing gender.
Substitution- ninjutsu- target area: self and inanimate object- effect: swaps user with nearby inanimate objects, used to avoid imminent death, used to ambush enemies with active explosives and used to defy the laws of nature that there would be a freshly cut log of proportionate size anywhere nearby that doesn't have anything living in it or even mold on it.
Replacement- ninjutsu- target area: Self, inanimate object and other live target- effect: upgraded version of substitution but has a much higher energy cost, used to make enemies kill their own number, used to swap places with a teammate in danger, used to steal enemies weapon on hand for a useless object, used to steal important documents from enemies and used to cause confusion on the battlefield when conjoined with Shape Shift or Mod Shape Shift.(think kakashi and Naruto in survival training standards with shadow clones)
Viper Vomit- genjutsu- target area: single, multiple or selective live targets- effect: causes targets to experience the worst thing the user has ever eaten or smelled at the same time to instantly induce heavy vomiting for even bigger effect if the stuff that caused the user to vomit is eaten after being regurgitated the effect is rate is upped exponentially and this genjutsu is fast acting making it almost impossible to stop before it takes effect also the smell and taste can vary if a worst taste or smell comes along, used to weaken opponent, used to damage opponents throat with own stomach acids, used to immobilize opponent with painful vomiting, used as a quick escape tactic and used to induce projectile vomiting if a target pointed toward another target to cover said target in vomit and thus starting a chain reaction and saving on jutsu energy usage by only having to use it on one person but the range is very short and situational for chain reaction damage.
Happy Mouth- genjutsu- target area: single, multiple or selective live targets- effect: causes target to experience the best thing the user has ever eaten in a context of the users choice which works better if the user and targets applied like the same food, not entirely useful for combat, can be used in place smelling salts, used as a minor distraction by causing bliss in the opponent, used to distract a person from tasting poison, used as a attention focusing tool, used in place of comfort foods and used as a party trick as user can eat something and then project that flavor to everyone in the room if it has a positive taste.
Clone- genjutsu- target area: around the area or on same spot as the user- effect: creates images of the user that can't interact with the environment or make sounds other then the users voice because of this incapability the effectiveness of this jutsu can only work on civilians as the clones that are made are slightly transparent therefore a keen eye can instantly decipher where the real person is, used as the lowest of levels of genjutsu distraction, used in a way that it could move out from your body while you are standing still, used to make the user appear faster then usual and used as a neat trick at parties as it isn't all that impressive.
Darkon: Next up in 'To Kiss a Snake' Viper and Naruto escape Konoha and heads toward an unknown destination in a more action packed chapter called "Slither for your lives".