To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. ~Lewis B. Smedes

Okay, Jim thought to himself, his internal communications slowed by the pain that was engulfing him. I'm pretty sure I'm safe. I'm in a lot of pain which seems normal. Maybe if I open my eyes…really, really slowly, the room won't be spinning around me. He gave the 'opening my eyes' thing a try, discovering that it applied in the singular. His right eye would open, just barely. His left not at all. He did know better than to try and move any other part of his body. That would not go well. Deciding his head didn't really count, he very slowly turned it to his right. If the idea itself didn't hurt to consider, he would have smiled. There was Spock, all curled up in a overstuffed chair, a fuzzy blue blanket draped haphazardly over him, his usually immaculate hair standing up in places.

Talking was out of the question, Jim knew. And his mouth felt funny. Not the usual I've been unconscious and birds built a nest in mouth funny. Metallic and… stiff. Stiffer than usual. He gave a try at opening his mouth wider than it was already and discovered it was impossible. Wired shut he realized. Crap. I hate it when that happens.

He contemplated what other injuries he had sustained besides a broken jaw, closing his right eye to do inventory. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Considering his injuries seemed to make them flair in pain.

He reopened his right eye, staring at Spock, willing him to wake up. The windows behind Spock are dark so that must mean it's the middle of the night, Jim decided. The lamp beside his bed cast a soft glow over the sleeping Vulcan.

He ideally wondered how many hours had passed since the beat-down he'd gotten from the Sheik's henchmen but he had absolutely no way of knowing.

Finally, Spock stirred and looked over at the bed, his mouth nearly curving into a smile when he saw Jim was awake.

"Welcome back," Spock said in a soft, warm voice.

Jim nodded as much as he could. This not being able to talk thing was such a pain. Well, pain was his entire world at the moment. So maybe huge inconvenience was a more apt description.

"I will alert Leonard," Spock said as he slowly stood. He put one hand gently on Jim's right shoulder, looking down at him with a surprisingly tender expression. "We won't be long."

Jim thought he nodded again but he couldn't be entirely sure. The pain was weighing him down, his thought-processes having to swim up-stream against it. It was a slow go and the pain was much stronger than his brain at the moment.

"Hey kid," Bones' familiar, comforting voice said softly into his ear. Jim laboriously turned his head so that he could squint at his friend. "Not feeling so great, huh?"

Jim shook his head once. Any more and the consequences would be dire and disgusting.

"Besides the pain, how are you?" Bones asked gently.

How to explain? He made himself lift his right hand, left conveniently out from under the covers, swirling one finger in the air. His left hand was immobile and apparently unavailable for his use.

"Dizzy?" Bones guessed.

Jim nodded.

"Understandable. Okay. I'll fix that too. Are you breathing okay?"

Jim considered the question. With Bones' question, there was a fresh surge of pain caused by each breath he took. It stemmed out from the center of his chest and spread across his front, down his sides. He shook his head once.

"All right, darlin'," Bones said. "I'll get you some oxygen. That will help your breathing and your dizziness."

Now that it was out of his hands, he let his eyes close back, relaxing in the knowledge that the pain would stop and Bones would take care of everything else. Maybe the next time he woke up, he'd be able to tell Bones how thirsty he was. Yeah. That'd be good.

~o0o~

The next time he surfaced through the waves of pain crashing over him, the room was way too bright, making his headache go supernova. Squeezing his eyes closed helped a little but the light still leaked in around the edges. Giving his right hand an experimental try, he managed to bring it up to his face and almost found his eyes to cover them.

"I'm sorry," Bones drawled. From the thickness of his accent, Jim could guess he hadn't slept in quite some time. It didn't take long for the lights to dim to a tolerable level and Jim worked to open his eyes. Again, only his right eye would cooperate. Bones was standing right where Jim could see him, leaning over the metal guardrails of the bed. "I won't ask how you're doing since you can't talk. In answer to the usual series of questions you have when you regain consciousness – you've been in the hospital for two and a half days. I'm sure the pointy-eared hobgoblin can tell you to the minute. He's asleep in officers' quarters right now, finally. I threatened to sedate him if he didn't leave to sleep. I had your jaw wired shut as a precaution. We can cut those wires in another two days. But the abuse you took loosened some of the teeth on your left side. The braces will hold them secure while they heal. They should be able to come off in a month or so."

Jim blinked at the information. He needed Bones to wait while he absorbed it. Closing his eyes stopped Bones from speaking until he was ready for more. Not that what he'd heard was at all surprising. Well, that part about Spock staying with him for two days – that was surprising. He finally allowed his right eye open to study Bones, who he realized had two very black eyes. Not that he hadn't earned them.

"You ready?" Bones asked, rubbing over the stubble covering Jim's head.

That sensation was new. He looked up and tilted his head slightly.

"Oh. Yeah. We shaved your head. You had two deep lacerations. They took a total of 15 stitches to close. There was so much blood matted in your hair, we had to shave it off." Jim used some secret reserve of strength to frown at that. Great. A man is knocked unconscious and his friend shaves his head while he's in no position to protest. "It'll grow back, infant," Bones said fondly, touching his bare head again.

Jim considered that and understood it was both necessary and the least of his problems. Lifting his right hand slowly, he managed to spell out w-a-t-e-r in sign language.

"You can have a few bits of cracked ice," Bones agreed. He reached over for the pitcher by the bed and shook a couple of chips into a cup. He very carefully held the cup to Jim's split and swollen lips, letting him take them in at his own pace.

y-o-u Jim spelled slowly.

"I'm fine. The black eyes are the worst of it. Chris says they make me look rugged. Or some such crap," Bones said with a shrug.

h-o-m-e

"Another few days and we'll talk about flying home. You couldn't stand the trip yet."

d-o-d Jim spelled.

"Dod?" Bones asked with a frown. "Oh. Dog. Yeah. I promised," he laughed. "We'll get a dog as soon as you are up to looking for one."

i-c-e

Bones nodded and gave him a few more slivers, watching his face carefully. "Better?"

Jim blinked in acknowledgement, not trying to communicate in any other way. It frankly took way more effort than he had to expend.

"Do you want me to sedate you?" Bones asked gently.

Jim had no choice but to agree. The pain was not going to diminish – not yet anyway. And he'd rather not be awake while he waited. He barely saw Bones put the sedative into the IV that trailed into his right arm before he was blissfully unaware once more.

~o0o~

"I still don't understand why you came," came Bones' voice from somewhere to Jim's left. It didn't have quite as thick an accent so he must have slept recently.

"Because you were walking into a trap," Spock's voice responded, sounding almost annoyed.

"You could have commed us. Called us. Texted us." Jim thought Bones was not as angry as he was…confused. Or befuddled.

"It was entirely possible that all of your communications were being intercepted," Spock's voice said evenly. Jim heard Bones sigh at that before glancing over at Jim.

"Hey," Bones said, coming closer to the bed, smiling down at Jim.

"Jim," Spock added, nearly sighing in relief.

He looked up at them, glad of their presence. It was immensely comforting that they were both there to watch over him. Once he could talk, he'd have to remember to tell them how much he appreciated it.

His right eye widened as much as it could when he heard his mother's voice. Was he hallucinating? Those fears were waylaid when her face appeared in his field of vision.

"Jimmy," she said, looking down at him, her eyes suspiciously wet. He wished he could offer her some comfort but he was not in a position to be able to at the moment.

He finally managed to lift his right hand to spell out hello making those standing over him smile.

"I was so worried about you, darling," his mother said, gently caressing his bare head.

S-o-r-r-r-y.

She shook her head at that. "You don't have any reason to be," she assured him.

He nodded once, slowly spelling i-c-e. Bones promptly provided him with several slivers, Jim sucking on them in relief. He realized belatedly that Bones was talking to him. What was it he was saying while he was enjoying the comfort of a wet mouth? He focused as well as he could on Bones' face which had an expectant expression in place.

W-h-a-t.

"I asked if you wanted to try sitting up for a few minutes," Bones said warmly.

Jim shook his head. That was out of the question right now. Everything still hurt too much. From the top of his head down to his toes. Well, not his feet as much as his torso. Every part of him above his hips.

"All right. We'll try that later," Bones assured him. "Do you want more ice?"

Jim nodded, taking them in gratefully. Who knew that simple ice would be what kept him motivated to stay awake? He'd never take water for granted again. S-p-o-c-k.

"I am right here," Spock said, returning to Jim's field of vision. Jim nodded once, closing his eyes now that he knew Spock was still there. It didn't take long for darkness to take back over, unconsciousness a relief from the effort of trying to fight the pain.

~o0o~

"Jim," someone was saying from way too far away. Who was that and why were they bothering him? Couldn't they see he was sleeping? Who would be so rude as to wake a sleeping man? "Jim," the voice said even more insistently.

He reluctantly responded to the desires of the voice and opened his eyes. Both of them, he noted mentally. That was a good thing.

When his two eyes were able to focus, he found Bones and Chris Pike in his field of vision. "Uhn?" Jim grunted, hoping he was frowning. He thought he might have succeeded when Bones smiled at him.

"You've been asleep for nearly 18 hours, you infant. Wake up and rejoin the living."

Jim shook his head once, lifting it very carefully to see if he could tell who else was there.

"Spock is sleeping. Winona is getting something to eat," Bones said in answer to the question he didn't have the reserves to ask.

How long Jim spelled slowly.

"You've been here for four and a half days," Bones told him. "If you can stay awake long enough, I want to take the wires out so you can at least talk."

Jim made the sign for "k," Bones nodding. "I'm going to lift the top of your bed. If it gets to be too much, let me know. Sitting up will make your breathing a little easier too."

Jim nodded, waiting as Bones activated the mechanics to slowly lift the top portion of the bed. As it rose, Jim could see Chris watching him. Hey Jim spelled, Chris smiling at that.

"Good to see you doing better," Chris said. "You had us a little worried."

Jim shrugged his right shoulder, making it twinge in pain. But nothing like it had felt.

"There," Bones said when Jim's head was elevated. "How does that feel?"

Jim nodded. It did relieve some of the pressure in his chest, making it feel less like there was a truck parked right in the middle. The oxygen was also helping, he knew.

"I'm going to check your jaw. Let me know if it gets to be too much," Bones said as he dried his hands. "Okay?"

Jim nodded waiting as Bones gently felt his jaw and down his neck, speaking quietly the entire time. It didn't make any difference to Jim what Bones was saying. He wasn't asking any questions so no response was required. And Jim found the sound of his voice immensely comforting.

"All right," Bones said, straightening. "We can take the wire off to free your mouth."

Jim waited because there was nothing which he needed to do but be a good patient.

"I'll be right back," Bones told him before leaving his room. Jim turned his focus on Chris who winked at him.

"He promised me you'd live," Chris said, his warm hand on Jim's right arm. "He also said you'll be out of commission for a couple of months. Make sure everything heals correctly."

Dog Jim spelled, Chris laughing.

"He told me. If you hadn't been beaten so badly, he wouldn't have agreed," Chris teased.

Go me.

Chris could only shake his head with a laugh. "Winona is going to stay with you for a little while. Make sure you do as Leonard tells you."

Double teamed.

"Only way they can be sure you'll behave," Chris agreed.

Jim one shoulder shrugged again, looking over at the door when Bones entered with a stout man in a white lab coat who had about him the air of a doctor.

"This is Dr. Qasem," Bones said. "He's the dentist that put on your braces and wired shut your mouth."

Jim nodded, spelling thanks which Bones relayed to Dr. Qasem.

"You are most welcome," Dr. Qasem said. "The braces will need to be on for three months, to make sure your teeth are healed."

Jim glared at Bones who had blatantly lied to him. He was in so much trouble once Jim could talk.

"He told me weeks, not months," Bones protested, winking at Dr. Qasem when he glanced over his shoulder at Leonard.

"At any rate," Dr. Qasem said with a chuckle. "I can remove the wires. That will allow you to drink and eat."

Jim nodded at that. Talk.

"On second thought," Chris laughed. "Leave the wires on."

Jim frowned at Chris, making him laugh harder.

"Your mouth is going to be understandably stiff so take it easy when I have them off," Dr. Qasem instructed. With that, Dr. Qasem reached over for a small pair of pliers, reaching into Jim's mouth to snip the wires. It only took a few minutes for all the wires to be cut and removed. Dr. Qasem massaged Jim's jaws with warm gentle hands, helping to loosen the stiffness. "Better?"

"Bedda," Jim agreed, tentatively opening and closing his mouth. "Much bedda."

"Good," Dr. Qasem said. "You want to avoid solid food for the next several days. Soup, ice cream, oatmeal - until your teeth are more secure."

"Coffee?" Jim asked.

They all laughed at that. "Dr. McCoy said that would be the first thing you requested," Dr. Qasem said with a smile. "As long as it is not too hot."

"Can I brush my teef?" Jim asked hopefully. The taste left over was…just gross.

"Not yet. I will get you some mouthwash. Not as good but you need to wait with brushing for another day," Dr. Qasem said.

"Okay," Jim agreed.

"Besides coffee, what do you want?" Bones asked him as Dr. Qasem left the room.

"A milkshake," Jim said.

"Of course," Bones agreed.

"I'll go to the base ice cream shop," Chris said. "Coffee shake?"

"Yes please," Jim agreed. "What time is it?"

"It's 2:43 here," Bones said.

"How long has Spock been gone?"

"I sent him to sleep four hours ago," Bones said, unnecessarily straightening Jim's covers. "I predict he'll be back pretty soon. Are you going to talk to him?"

"Eventually. Not yet. It's too much effort right now."

"Yeah. I get that," Bones agreed. "Now that you can actually talk, is there anything I need to take care of that I missed?"

"Everything hurts but no more than I expect. You did your usual great job."

"I've had plenty of practice," Bones reminded him.

"When can we go home?" Jim asked, yawning but not opening his mouth as wide as he normally would.

"Another few days. I don't want to risk it yet. The change in altitude. The oxygen."

"Kay," Jim agreed, watching Dr. Qasem enter with a bottle of mouthwash and a small receptacle.

"Here you are," Dr. Qasem said, giving him some bright green mouthwash in a small cup.

Jim nodded, taking it in and swishing it around his mouth, the tingling welcome and refreshing. He spit it out, accepting water as a chaser. He swished and spit the water too.

"Better?" Dr. Qasem said.

"Better. Thank you," Jim agreed, smiling over at Chris. "Just in time."

"I live to serve," Chris said, handing Jim the milkshake.

"Take it slowly," Dr. Qasem advised. "You are going to have some soreness."

Jim sucked on the straw, enjoying the coolness of the milkshake.

"Well?" Bones asked.

"Good," Jim said, drinking more of it. "Really good."

"Unless you need me, I will take my leave," Dr. Qasem said.

"I appreciate your help," Jim said, Dr. Qasem nodding and leaving, Bones following him out. "Where's Mom?"

"She'll be here shortly. She was talking to Tahla when I chatted with her. Is there something you need?"

"Just taking inventory," Jim said, sipping the milkshake and enjoying the flavor. "What happened to the mission?"

"We still aren't sure. I've debriefed everyone but you," Chris said.

"How's Sam? Is he okay?"

"He has a broken ankle. He's still here. Everyone is. Except Scotty."

"Where's he?" Jim asked.

"I sent him home. Pavel, Hikaru and Nyota were beside themselves. They'll be here around 6," Chris said with a shake of his head.

"Oh," Jim said, watching Bones return accompanied by his mom and Spock. "Hey."

"Oh good," Winona said, kissing his head. "You can talk."

"A mixed blessing," Chris said.

"And I can eat," Jim said, holding up his milkshake. Winona pulled the blanket a little higher over his bare chest. He knew she couldn't help but fuss and figured she knew he was naked under the covers. No matter. Only Bones would move aside the blankets.

"It is a relief that you are on the mend," Spock told him, everyone agreeing with that.

"Thank you for coming. It would have turned out really badly if you hadn't," Jim said, looking at Spock's warm black eyes.

"It was quite an event," Spock said in understatement.

"That's for sure," Bones said. "I want to talk to you about accepting my resignation."

"No," Chris said when he broke off from talking to Winona.

Bones snorted at that before returning to talk to Jim and Spock. It wasn't long before Leonard realized that Jim's responses were slowing and his eyes did not want to stay open. "Jim needs to go back to sleep," Bones announced, taking the mostly empty cup from Jim's unresisting hand. "You can all come back when the boys and Nyota get here. Right now I need to see to some medical stuff. I'll let you know when the coast is clear."

Everyone agreed, obediently leaving and closing the door behind them. When only Bones was left in the room, he moved aside the blankets, checking Jim's body.

"Anything new?" Jim asked through half-closed eyes.

"Things are really good. Better than you by rights ought to be. You're still peeing blood," Bones said, checking the collection. "Is it hurting you?"

"No more than usual. How long before I can pee myself?" Jim asked, shifting slightly.

"Couple of days. You can't get to the bathroom. And it needs to be monitored," Bones reminded him. "You want a sedative?"

"No but I also know I don't have much choice," Jim said wearily.

"All right," Bones agreed, putting it into the IV before rearranging the covers. "I'll go get Spock if you want."

"'Kay," Jim agreed. "Can I sleep up like this?"

"Makes it easier to breathe, huh?"

"Uh huh. It's okay?"

"Of course," Bones said, making sure his pillow was in the right position.

"Quit fussin'," Jim said sleepily.

Bones laughed softly, gently patting his right shoulder before leaving to find Spock. It didn't take long for Spock to return to sit in the chair next to the bed. "I suggested to Leonard that he take this chance to sleep."

"Thanks," Jim agreed, turning his head to smile at Spock. "Would you mind talking to me?"

"Of course," Spock said automatically, wondering what he should say. Rather than consider it, he just started talking, saying whatever came into his mind. It was not something that was an ordinary Vulcan activity but Spock had the feeling that Jim would be the cause of many more un-Vulcan activities. At least Spock hoped that would be the case.

~o0o~

Jim slept soundly until the entrance of his friends woke him. He didn't mind in the least that their arrival disrupted his sleep. He was pretty sure he'd slept more during the past few days than he normally did in an entire week. He smiled as much as he could when his friends all talked to him at once. Their voices were the sweetest sounds he had heard in a very long time. Sam even hobbled into his room on crutches, his right leg in a cast up to his knee.

Pavel and Hikaru were talking over each other as they tried to tell him about their efforts to find out who had sabotaged the mission. Scotty was talking about the flights over, back, and over. They were including Spock in the conversation, just as though he had always been a part of their family. Nyota was so happy to see Leonard they quickly disappeared without so much as an apology. Well, who could blame them?

After they had been crowded into Jim's room for nearly an hour, Chris herded them out, promising that they could return in the morning. But for now they needed to settle into the rooms he had secured them and leave Jim alone.

"Do you want something to eat, sweetie?" Winona asked Jim when she and Spock were the only ones remaining.

"Mmm… I don't think so," Jim decided. "I would like a Pepsi. Think I could have some?"

"I'm sure it would be fine," Winona told him. "I'll find Leonard and double-check. And then I'll get it for you."

"Thanks," Jim agreed, watching her leave. "So…." Jim said, focusing on Spock.

"Yes," Spock said, an openly admiring gleam in his eye.

"Does this mean our fight is officially over?" Jim asked.

"I am very hopeful," Spock said. "We still have matters to discuss. However, none of them will include me passing judgment on you."

"I'm thinking it doesn't much matter any longer," Jim said. "Scotty said you were willing to kill them if you had to."

"I was. I would have. Thinking of it in the abstract is very different from seeing someone for whom you care being victimized."

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "It's very different."

"I should not have judged you without living in your shoes," Spock said.

"Most of us could say that at some time," Jim agreed. "Your parents know where you are, right?"

"They do. It was my father who warned me that the mission was in danger of failing."

"T'Pau told him?" Jim asked.

"She did. She also told Christopher but as she could not reveal her source, he could do nothing except tell me I needed to speak with my parents."

"Good thing you caught up with Scotty," Jim said.

"Did you recognize any of the men who were holding you and Leonard?" Spock asked.

"No. From the way they were dressed, I'm pretty sure they were part of Sheik Wahenrha's contingency. Have you seen Selema?"

"I have," Spock agreed. "She will come to see you when you are up to more visitors."

"And she's okay?"

"She is unharmed. Kameer prevented the men from getting to her," Spock said.

"Good," Jim said, looking over at the door as his mother entered with a glass which unmistakably held Pepsi.

"Here you are, my dear. Leonard said you should try to eat something but if you only drink the Pepsi, you'll live."

"Thanks," Jim said, accepting it to drink through the straw. "Mmm… sweet nectar of heaven."

"I thought that was coffee," Winona teased.

"It's a tie," Jim decided.

"I bet it is," Winona said. "Spock. You go eat then sleep. I'll stay with Jimmy tonight."

"I do not mind remaining," Spock assured her.

"I do know that, dear. But you've barely slept. A mom always knows if her baby needs her," she assured him.

"Mom," Jim protested, making Winona laugh.

"You'll always be my baby," she reminded him with a kiss on his bare head. "I like you bald."

He shook his head at that. "Too cold. I'm letting it grow back."

"Can't blame you," she said. "Now. Go get something to eat and get a real night's sleep."

"Yes, ma'am," Spock had to agree. After a fond word of farewell, Spock obediently left.

"He loves you enormously," Winona said to Jim.

"I think I figured that out," Jim laughed softly.

"Do you feel the same?" Winona asked. Because it was her right to know.

"I'm pretty sure. But he… well. I understand why he judged me. But that doesn't make it easier to overlook," Jim admitted.

"I know, dear. But imagine if the situation were reversed. Wouldn't you have been surprised to learn he's a hired assassin?"

"Yes," Jim sighed. "How did you feel when you first found out about dad?"

"A little like Spock felt," Winona admitted. "Falling in love. Then finding out the truth. It's unsettling."

"Yeah," Jim said.

"Will you finally be able to forgive him?" Winona asked gently.

"I don't think I need to forgive him as much as… myself?" Jim suggested.

"I think you may be right, baby," she agreed.