Also, IMPORTANT QUESTION: Now I know I'm such a horrible person for even thinking this... But I have this great story idea but this and i'M not the one are lasting for quite a while longer and I'm so excited for the story idea I have... Should I post it and work on all three stories? Btw: Yes. It is a Seddie story also... Haha, so I'm sorry this one took so long. I actually went to Washington DC last week with my school, so I was pretty busy, I just got back yesterday. I had no computer and no internet there anyway. Also: For any of you who noticed; yes I did say his mother quit her job and then two chapters later I said she was at work. Well, she did not quit her job. And I will fix that later.

Freddie POV

Carly and I had been laughing and I had been looking around, still glancing at the locker room door every few minutes. I had looked over in that general direction and Sam was standing there. Staring at us.

Staring at me.

She had a sad and distant expression on her face. But when she saw me look, it was quickly replaced with a blank expression.

She was holding her towel and it was off to the side. I got a pretty good look at her body from the angle I was at.

She was wearing a blue and green bikini with stars and words all over; matching Carly's yellow and pink one.

She was so bony. I mean, and jeez, I've soon football players with bigger boobs... Oh that was mean. At least she didn't hear that. She may be small but she already proved that she can still kick my ass.

Anyway, her arms and legs were like toothpicks; it was like the smallest amount of pressure and they would just snap into peices. Her chest was almost flat, and her stomach caved in; like it was eating itself from the inside.

So small.

I felt my heart drop to my stomach and I got this warm, sickly feeling in my stomach. I didn't know if I was going to throw up, or faint.

She made a point to ignore me and, instead, turned her attention to Carly, who was smiling and waving her over.

"Hey Sam! Over here!" Carly yelled, giggling like only she can. So clueless.

As Sam walked over, i was amazed that such a small body could move with such force. She threw her towel into a chair near ours and walked over to the side of the pool we were on.

My throat felt dry and started to hurt and I was afraid I might cry.

Oh. My. Skinny.

She looked even smaller up close. She sat on the edge and started to ease herself in.

Wow, when she bent over to sit down, her stomach didn't even fold like everyone elses.

No fat rolls. No meat on her stomach. Just Skin and Bones.

"Wow, Sam. You're so skinny!" Carly gasped, looking at Sam's frail body. I saw Sam freeze, in anticipation of Carly's realization. "I need to work out more..." Carly smiled and put her hand on her stomach.

Carly is a skinny girl too, but she was one of those skinny and normal girls; the girls who are the normal skinny types, with fat and meat on their stomachs and wide thighs.

But if she stood next to Sam... I don't even want to imagine.

Sam thought over what Carly said, and then decided she was safe, she laughed emotionlessly and eased herself all the way in.

A few months ago she would have ran out and jumped in. I hope Carly doesn't notice the difference.

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{seperate}

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I tried to enjoy the rest of our time at the Y, but I just couldn't shake that ache in my stomach and chest.

When Sam and I had gotten home, she'd hung out at Carly's for a few hours so Carly wouldn't get suspicious as to why I didn't drop Sam off at her house immediately. While Sam was at Carly's, I showered and ate dinner. My mom was already at work so it would be easier for Sam to get in later.

I was finished with my food and my shower before Sam got home. While I was waiting for her, I decided to finish up my calculus and science homework.

I had finished calculus and had two more science problems to finish when I heard the front door open.

"Taking a shower!" I heard Sam yell. She didn't even come in to say she was here, or at least check and see if I was here. I put my pencil and book on my desk and turned to face my bedroom door, as if that would make her hear me better.

"Sam!" I yelled back, but she ignored me. I heard her close the bathroom door; not slamming it, but closing it loud enough that I could hear it. There were two doors to my bathroom so she was able to go in without walking through here.

Since it was my bathroom and my mom didn't use it, Sam kept her bathroom stuff and pajamas (aka my shorts and my t-shirt – though they did look good on her) in the linen closet in there. Ever since she began living here, my bathroom became a lot more girlier. She keeps a blowdryer and tampons (bleh!) underneath the sink, along with girly lotions and creams that have weird names. The sink is always clean and the toilet seat is always down. This is why my mom and I have seperate bathrooms.

Anyway, I could tell she wasn't very happy, I just didn't know who with.

I heard the shower turn on, so I turned around to finish my homework back up. I knew whenever Sam had a bad day, she took extra long showers.

I never realized how much of a girl Sam is.

After I finished my homework, I knew I still had a while, so I decided to look over some memories.

I keep a photo album of special moments and people in my life.

I know, I know. But it's a lot cooler than you think. And manly. Yeah, manly.

I had to hide it from my mom and anyone else who went into my room. So I decided to keep it simple and easy and just took the cover off of one of my books and put it around my photo album.

My mothe has plenty of photo albums for me. Plenty. But this one is mine. Something that I didn't have to share with my mom. I know it sounds bad, but with such a protective sense of authority, I just needed something for me.

I pulled the album off of my book shelf, walked over to my desk and sat down. The front cover is simple; plain black, not even any words.

The first page is a picture of me. Well it is my book. The second page has two pictures; one of me, Sam, and Carly; and one of me, Sam, Carly, and Gibby. The rest of the book is filled with plenty of pictures that include Carly, Sam, and I. There are some with Gibby, Spencer, Principal Franklin, Melanie (who really does exist...), Reuben, and some of my other friends. My favorite picture though, the one I flipped right to without looking at the other ones, is actually one of me and Sam.

I know. I know. If she knew that, or even saw me looking at this, she would beat the nerd out of me' but It's a nice picture. It describes a lot.

The picture was taken by Carly, who found our predicament then, 'absolutely hilarious'. It was taken about five or six months ago, not long before Sam became...

Anyway, in the picture, Sam and I are on swings at one of the nearby parks. She's in the swing next to me and she's pulling my swing toward hers. Actually, she was threatening me; but in the picture, it showed both of us laughing because her threat had somehow turned into Gibby being chased by a pig while he's wearing a bikini. How it got there, neither of us even knows.

But, all in all, it's a great picture; and Sam looks geniunely happy. Happier than she would look in three months...

I hear the shower turn off and I look at the bathroom door behind me. I quickly close the book and slip it back onto the bookshelf.

"Sam!" I yell again, but she continues to ignore me. I stand up and walk toward the bathroom door, getting ready to knock, but then realizing that she probably isn't dressed yet. I'm getting ready to go sit and just wait – she can't avoid me forever right? - when I hear her voice.

"Ugh." I hear her say. My eyebrows furrow as I lean closer to the door to listen. I cup my hand around my ear and I'm surprised when it works.

"You disgust me." She says. And I'm shocked at first, because I thought she was talking to me.

"You're so ugly. You're a fat peice of shit." She says. I'm starting to get a feeling she isn't talking to me...

"No one likes you. Not even your own family." Oh please let her be talking to me...

"That's why Daddy let himself die. He let them shoot him so he could get away from you." Sam...

"You fucking loser. You're ugly. You're not pretty like Carly and Melanie and all of the other girls out there. You're a shame to your gender and yourself." She finishes, and I hear the sink water come on.

I stumble back onto my bed. No. No. No, no, no. Sam... She just... She can't... I just... Can't believe that's what she thinks... I mean, she told me her dad was dead and all... but how could she blame herself?

And I mean, she's fucking beautiful. And I mean it.

She walks out then. Wearing my lose and baggy shorts and shirt, she looked even more stunning than usual. With the baggy clothes, she didn't look as small, and her hair fell lose and tumbled down over her shoudlers. Her lips looked pink and moist, like they always do; and her skin looks great because of such a long shower.

And she smells great too. Her body and her hair. As she walks over to the bed and lays down I get a whif of her hair because it sways while she walks. It smells fruity and delicious...

She lays down without saying a word and I decide not to bother her until the morning.

She fell asleep quickly, even though the light was still on. I got up and turned it off, then walked back over to the bed and laid down beside her. I watched her as she sleep for a while, thinking about what I just heard.

I love the way she looks as she sleeps, so innocent and beautiful. Her hair falling softly off to the sides of her face, and her lips sticking out, pouty and cute. Her eyes closed softly, as if they would flutter open any minute.

She slept on her back this time, which was odd, but I enjoyed being able to look at her.

I thought back to the things she'd said to herself, calling herself ugly and saying no one likes her.

Oh how wrong she is. Since she was asleep, I leaned over her and watched her face closely for a minute. Then I leaned down and kissed her forehead,

"Oh Sam. If you only knew how beautiful you really are."