((That chapter heading is not something I wanted to happen. I tried to find something else. I really did. This is a line from the R.E.M.-song The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite, and I can't for the hell of it find anything else. Be glad it's not the obvious line from the song and bear with me because I'm gonna be stuck with this in my head for the rest of the day.))

Chapter 2

Flat Backgrounds and Little Need to Sleep

As any other Vulcan, T'Kray was strongly convinced that being on leave meant doing nothing. She would also say that she didn't need vacations because sleep and meditation were sufficient for her to recuperate. The reason why she decided to visit the space station was something very different: She wanted to talk to the one scientist who was already there and maybe find out what was going on. Perhaps he knew more than she did, and perhaps he would share.

Leonard knew she had an agenda the moment she agreed to go, and T'Kray didn't try to deny it. So when she, Leonard and James beamed down to the space station, he waved her good-bye, no doubt in search for a bar with his friend in tow, while she looked for one particular person, preferably without alerting him to her in advance. Spock, in the meantime stayed aboard and in temporary command of the ship. Since the Karon space station wasn't meant for leisure time, there were no excessively luxurious rooms that could tempt them to sleep down here, so no-one was tempted to call this brief stop a shore leave.

Locating a resident without them knowing meant she couldn't ask anyone. Therefore, T'Kray might have to gain access to a computer. Aside from sneaking in somewhere, that could be done by offering help while they were docked. The most likely place to run into Stal was sickbay. That way, she might be spared looking through files to find him. The good thing was that the Karon space station didn't currently house a psychologist. Chances were, she was allowed to help out in the meantime. The previous counsellor had left, the next one would arrive in a month, and for now, she'd offer to step in.

T'Kray had expected something like the sickbay on the Morales space station, where she had worked a while ago. The small, almost dingy place came as a surprise. The Morales, she reminded herself, had been built for research. Of course the facilities there were the highest standard. The people, in part, had not been, but the CMO was a brilliant man and one she had come to respect during her time there.

Barely inside, T'Kray was cornered by a nurse. 'Help you?' the woman barked. Raising one eyebrow, T'Kray stared down at her.

'I wish to speak to the chief medical officer.'

'He's currently unavailable. If you don't mind, we've got a lot of work at the moment. Come back later, unless this is an emergency.' The woman had an accent not unlike Leonard's, but while in him she found it endearing, in this nurse it sounded uncouth. Reminding herself firmly that sickbay staff had to deal with a lot of pressure at the best of times, T'Kray checked the impulse to answer in the same tone and spoke in a quiet, if slightly aloof voice.

'I came to offer help. I understand that you do not currently have a psychologist. When can I speak to your CMO to offer my services for the time that we are here?'

'How long's that?'

'At least a week.'

'He'll love that. Can you wait? He'll be here in a while, might be a couple of hours.'

'Of course.'

'Look … Sorry I snapped at you, but we've got a bit of a situation on our hands and … well.' T'Kray waved her away.

'I understand. Please do not let me deter you. I shall wait here.'

ϡ

'So. We're actually going to Vulcan,' Leonard said, his tone quiet. 'Can you believe it, Jim?' The other man's eyes were on his face, studying him.

'Second thoughts, Bones?'

'Would be a bit late for that,' Leonard said sagely. 'No. Quite the contrary. No-one can separate us after that. It'll be official.' A slow frown formed as he thought of Jim's question again. 'Why would you ask even?'

'Because,' Jim said in a slightly guarded voice, 'you haven't known each other for such a long time. You cautioned me about Spock, and we've been around each other for decades.' Leonard looked at his drink as if he could find the answer there.

'You're not me.'

'That's not much of an explanation.'

'No. But … Remember Jocelyn?'

'I met her only a couple of times, Bones. I don't remember much except that you were frightened at your wedding and she was impatient.' Leonard looked back up and nodded.

'Yes! Exactly. I was scared to death by the thought of marrying her. You were there, you know! This is different. I was scared at first, too, but of the mind-thing, not the bond-thing. As in permanent.'

'Jocelyn hated me,' Jim said with the thrilled expression of someone who just found the cure for every disease in the universe.

'Jocelyn hated herself more than anything.' Leonard blinked. 'I don't want to think of her. If I think of her I'll think of Joanna and then I'll cry.' Fathers weren't supposed to outlive their daughters, he thought darkly. This was all wrong.

'So how'd you know you're not going to fall in love with someone?' Jim asked. 'I know because I tried and couldn't. Couldn't get Spock out of my head. Like ever.' He lowered his voice. 'Know what that's like, when you're in bed with someone and can't for the life of you stop thinking of the one you really love?' Leonard glared at him.

'No. And I must say that's really unfair.' Jim had the grace to look ashamed. Leonard made good use of the moment, returning to what he'd planned to say before. 'I knew. I knew this is big. I wasn't scared by that. I was scared then because I wasn't sure. Of her, of myself, anything. But T'Kray … I mean, I still don't get what she sees in me. Jim, what is it? Why me?'

'You respect life, you're caring, open, and most of all, you love her, I'd say.'

'Still, what are the odds of a Vulcan falling for a human?'

'Ask Spock. I'm sure he can answer. Other than that … You know … I've been wondering about that too. Why me, I mean.' Leonard made a non-committal sound and shrugged.

'So … what'll it be like? Did Spock say?'

'No. Didn't ask. Vulcan … I don't know. I've had my share of Vulcan weddings you'd think.' Leonard burst into loud and unexpected laughter. Jim, trying to hush him, started laughing himself. 'Ah, Bones, I think we should … you know … go. We're done.'

'Really?'

'Really. Anyway, I don't think this will be much of a ceremony. Just a Vulcan … you know, asking us if we're bonded and making an official entry for Starfleet.' Jim left with decisive steps and Leonard followed, focussing on walking in a straight line. When something occurred to him, he stopped abruptly.

'Jim?' Jim stopped and looked at him, blinking.

'Hmm?'

'They'll be mad at us. They don't get drunk and all that.'

'No.'

'Jim, what if she regrets it?'

'Because you're drunk?'

'No. Yes. At all. Ever.' With a few steps Jim was there and hugged him. Hard.

'Don't be a fool. She won't.' Leonard was unconvinced and apparently looked the part, because Jim flung an arm around his shoulder and steered him on. 'You think she'd risk being tied to someone she's not sure about?' Leonard felt slightly awkward, being dragged along by a friend who was himself listing slightly, and tried to break away. He succeeded only in bringing them both to a stumbling halt. 'Bones. She can see your mind. She knows you're sure. And you know she's sure. That's the brandy worrying, not you.'

'I hope she's not mad. I don't know what to do if she's mad. So far she's never been.' Jim smiled slightly.

''Course not, she's a Vulcan. Spock hasn't, either, but I have. A bit.'

'What happened?' Jim frowned.

'He thought I was leaving. Bones, he hurt me with that. Don't ask her if she wants you gone. That'll hurt her, too.' Slowly, Leonard nodded.

'I'd know, wouldn't I?'

'Yes. Unless she'd be shielding. But she's not.' Suddenly, a grin formed on Leonard's face.

'So. We're actually going to Vulcan. Can you imagine it?' Jim's answer was a guffaw followed by a long-suffering sigh.

ϡ

'Name?' Doctor Lunders asked, staring at his PADD rather than her.

'T'Kray.'

'Rank?'

'Lieutenant.'

'Why the hell?'

'I do not require leave. When I heard you might need assistance, I decided to offer.'

'I contacted my old friend Mamad. He says you want something.' T'Kray allowed a small smile to show on her face.

'Doctor Rasul is over-analysing,' she stated. 'I am aware that there are fundamental differences between the work on a space station and on a star ship. If someone is transferred from one to the other, especially not by choice, I want to be able to understand the difficulties they might be facing.'

'You're the counsellor on the Covenant. Kirk's ship.'

'Yes.'

'Very well. I'd be a fool to refuse. We've had an accident. One of our scientists got careless, took her work home into her quarters and freaked out when one of her kids got injured. Started blaming everyone except herself. I, frankly, don't know how to talk to her.' He leaned forwards. 'I need her to understand that she can't put her work before her kids like that. Get that into her head.'

'Where is she now?' T'Kray asked. Doctor Lunders made an impatient gesture to a room off to the left.

'Isolation. Sedated. She'll come around in a little while. If you don't succeed, I'll have her removed from the space station. You can tell her that, too.' T'Kray nodded.

'Very well. Doctor … I wonder, do you have a place where I can be left undisturbed for about ten minutes? I've got a situation of my own at the moment and it was rather … unexpected.' If Lunders was confused by her request, he hid it well.

'Lab B is empty.'

'Thank you.'

ϡ

Under normal circumstances, the bond had no impact on Spock's ability to focus. Right now, he could sense Jim's moot attempt to shield him. It was rather intriguing. He knew how Jim beat, so sensing him in general was no distraction. When Jim, for whatever reason, did shield, he noticed it and might worry if that happened unannounced. But the constant flickering in and out of his awareness was a challenge.

It wasn't hard to imagine why this was happening. On the one hand, his mate was well aware that his drunken state might be difficult for him to handle, so he shielded. Also due to this state, he started missing their link very quickly and dropped the shield again. Spock shook himself firmly and resisted the temptation to shut Jim out himself. He didn't want to alarm him. He'd talk to him and hope that if Jim ever got drunk again he'd remember. Dealing with a drunken bondmate wasn't a problem. This distraction, however, was something between amusing and enervating. That two of the bridge crew were having a row didn't help, either.

'There is no need to alter the …'

'You heard what I said, didn't you?' Blau's voice cut across Melav.

'I heard, but as I said …'

'Silence,' Spock said firmly. Both looked at him. 'Blau … please wait for me in the small conference room. Melav … this is the second time you interrupted a senior officer in my presence. You will learn to control yourself if you wish to remain in Starfleet.' For a moment it looked as if Melav would protest, but then he thought better of it. 'You may go and ponder this in your quarters. Dismissed.' Daring the Tellarite to argue, Spock stared down at him until he stalked away.

'Sir, there is a call from the planet,' a gentle voice said behind him. 'They wish to know if there is anyone wanting to stay on the station overnight. They close the transporter room at 2300 hours and there are still three of our people on the station.' Spock considered for a moment.

'Please tell them that if these three individuals decide to come aboard we shall beam them up, assuming they are capable of contacting us.'

'Sir?'

'Tell them we will see that they arrive safely, Lieutenant.' He heard her relay his answer and almost felt her eyes boring into his back.

'Sir … May I ask who is still on the station? Mr Blanik said everyone's back.'

'Of his department, he should have said.' Spock made a mental note to remind Blanik that he had to be more precise. 'The Captain and Doctor McCoy are still there. So is, I believe, the Counsellor.' He called Niall Doherty to the bridge, albeit reluctantly. Sitting here, on the bridge, while they were docked was the perfect task while the emotional battering lasted. But he had ordered Blau away and needed to speak to her. When the lift opened and revealed Doherty, he stood. 'Doherty, you have the conn. Zh'Rane … if you could follow me for a moment.'

Blau was waiting patiently where he had sent her, looking rather worried. Spock took a moment to contemplate her before sitting across from her. He gestured Zh'Rane to the seat beside the science officer. 'Lieutenant Commander Blau, I have a question and I expect an honest answer. Can you handle Melav?'

'He won't listen to anyone, Sir.'

'That … is simply not an option. He must. He obeys Captain Kirk and me, and he seems to offer little to no resistance to Doctor McCoy.' Leaning forwards, he stared at the human until she made eye-contact. 'Lieutenant Zh'Rane has told me more than once that there seems to be a gap between you and him that is impossible to bridge. She has said the same to you herself and offered to mediate. So did T'Kray. Have you accepted their help?' Blau glared at him.

'I must be able to deal with him myself.' Spock leaned back.

'Why?'

'I am … If he's on my shift, I can't rely on them to save me.'

'How often has that been the case?' Blau thought for a moment.

'Once.'

'Once. I am responsible for the duty rosters. I attempt to avoid that situation as far as I am able. I need you to learn to deal with him when someone else sits on the chair. When that works, you can progress from there.' He lowered his voice. 'Zh'Rane, what is your observation?' He had warned the Andorian in advance that he was planning to ask her to speak her mind in front of the other woman and had her agreement. Still, she was clearly uncomfortable.

'Lieutenant Commander Blau has never provoked anyone, and the only person raising objections is Ensign Melav. I also notice that Melav doesn't usually argue that much with others.'

'Do you have any idea why?' When she answered, Zh'Rane looked at him rather than Blau.

'It seems that Lieutenant Commander Blau is already waiting for him to challenge her and might make an insecure impression on him.'

'I'm head of sciences,' Blau said sharply. 'Sir,' she added as an afterthought.

'And yet, with all others you work well,' Spock told her. 'Find your way with him. Talk to T'Kray if you need guidance. I am certain she can provide you with ideas how to approach him.' He rose, his fingertips resting on the table. 'The reason why I am telling you this is because you have shown leadership qualities before and I would recommend you to consider a career in the command division. If that is something you are willing to contemplate, try yourself on Melav.' At the door, he stopped. 'If you do not hear from everyone missing before your shift is over, please contact me, Lieutenant Zh'Rane. Better yet, just have Blanik locate them and beam them up without warning. Captain Kirk's instructions were quite clear and there were no exceptions. Good night.' Even before the door closed behind Spock, he knew he'd never let it come to that, at least where the two humans were concerned.